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I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls - Romance - Nairaland

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I Need Advise On What To Do About A Controversial Girlfriend / Need Serious Advice From Mature Minds On My Relationship / Advise Is Needed From Mature Minds (2) (3) (4)

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I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by GreaterGod124: 8:11pm On Mar 30, 2020
Hmmm...am 33yr old...I met a guy in 2013 during my NYSC and I fell for this guy immediately I met him. I visited him one day, we made love and all. Ever since then, he won't let me be, he will call and call that he wants to to be with. Then I asked if he was married, ofcos hes old enough to be married but he said it's a long story and he was single and that made me feel for him more.

Fast forward to 2 years ago, we have been on and off since then, I just discovered I couldn't love another man and am not the type to mingle with people, I don't party, I don't make friends, I only stay indoor and that really prevents me from getting suitors. So 2years ago, he called me and we settled again and I got preggy which he said I should abort that he wasn't ready for that but the dmfirst knew I aborted for him, I bled for about 2 months then, honestly then i thought it was over for me but God still kept me alive. So i kept the baby and he decided not to see me for about 7 months. So I had to leave my family's house and got my own apartment and he showed up just about 3days before I put to bed and he paid the hospital bills and foot the naming bills...

Since then, he will just come, but the babys needs and all then still make love to me sometimes but I told him he should go see my family but he refused...I don't ask him for money, since I had my baby, things really changed for me positively So he doesn't get to pay any bill for me.

Because of this, I decided to seek for admission in Canada that I want to relocate with my baby and leave the business for a family member and start a new life because am not getting the affection I needed from me and it makes me cry every night...each time I mention marriage rights, he will feel am desperate and we've been off and on for 8years.

I wish the covid 19 will just go away on time with the mercy of God so that I can relocate and start a new life.

2 Likes

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by HazardMan(m): 8:15pm On Mar 30, 2020
Speechless
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by Sammy07: 8:16pm On Mar 30, 2020
.So..
I didn't see any question(s) in your post.

Anyways, I'll say move on.
He's not the serious type.

GreaterGod124:
Hmmm...am 33yr old...I met a guy in 2013 during my NYSC and I fell for this guy immediately I met him. I visited him one day, we made love and all.

3 Likes

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by SweetCunt97(f): 8:17pm On Mar 30, 2020
You already thinking in the right direction. The man is married. You actually don't need his Diick so next time he comes to see his kid, omo wear better Jean padlock the punny. You don't deserve his drama.

6 Likes

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by dawnomike(m): 8:19pm On Mar 30, 2020
Sorry about what you are going through... I can understand. But, If why you will leave your business and relocate to canada is simply because of him... Kindly abort the mission.
Running away from a problem is never the best way to solve it. Face it heads on and tell him you are no longer interested.
His presence is obviously disrupting your ability to find your own happiness biko! Face it once and for all!!!

3 Likes

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by Belafonte(m): 8:19pm On Mar 30, 2020
Humans can be so messy and selfish. Smh

1 Like

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by Nobody: 8:21pm On Mar 30, 2020
Chai... that guy no serious abeg. Move on with ur life. God will see u thru. Atleast ur not dependent on him. Good luck

3 Likes

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by faithfull18(f): 8:21pm On Mar 30, 2020
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by Stacyomolola(f): 8:22pm On Mar 30, 2020
U will be fine love
How is the baby
He doesn't want u, he's only having a bit affection for the child. (He isn't serious atall).
Becareful having sex with him so as to avoid another baby for now.
U need to get over him, move on with ur life, go out (socialize), u will find someone better who will be willing to take u and ur child.
Stay happy, safe and healthy for ur child

Am having this feeling that he's even married
He's not the one for u
U can do without him and luckily for u, ur child brought along prosperity to this world

Don't thread the single mom or feminist lane it's hard, narrow and Rocky
Socialize and with time u will find someone 3× better

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by toluzealous: 8:23pm On Mar 30, 2020
mad guy... sorry if calling him mad affected you but I really can see his mad and his madness have no cure, he wanted free toto but hate it's vomit. Op move on to Canada jor and dnt show your achievements to any incoming man

3 Likes

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by SweetCunt97(f): 8:23pm On Mar 30, 2020
dawnomike:
Sorry about what you are going through... I can understand. But, If why you will leave your business and relocate to canada is simply because of him... Kindly abort the mission.
Running away from a problem is never the best way to solve it. Face it heads on and tell him you are no longer interested.
His presence is obviously disrupting your ability to find your own happiness biko! Face it once and for all!!!
Canada will provide her a fresh beginning and a good life. Personally I feel she should shut the guy down... He's simply a sperm donor

2 Likes

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by correctyourself(m): 8:25pm On Mar 30, 2020
Stop crying and make your self available to others that love you, you would have upload your pix as you sent this post and someone will be interested, I don't advice you to relocate.
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by GboyegaD(m): 8:25pm On Mar 30, 2020
What advice do you need? Keep being strong and improve yourself more. May life smile more at you.
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by cyhandsome(m): 8:25pm On Mar 30, 2020
I wish ur mine bcoz u are a good woman to ve as wife ,for ur story leave him alone bcoz he a married man bcoz he refuse to open up to you,
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by jawalis(m): 8:26pm On Mar 30, 2020
If a girl is stupid, her toto go suffer am. That’s your case. It’s a pity you are still foolish at 33. Even if you have 100billion in your account, that doesn’t make you anything more than a Bleep object. And that’s what you have reduced yourself to. You got pregnant, aborted it and got pregnant again for the same person who’s using you. Can you not see for yourself that you are just for satisfaction? Even if you relocate to Uk. I bet guys there will still Bleep and keep fucking your loose ass cos you can’t reason properly.

6 Likes

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by MrBrownJay1(m): 8:36pm On Mar 30, 2020
pls, when the Canadian visa has been approved, brace yourself for this lame dude to come back into your life like you were the only woman in this world.

as sad as this story may be, you should take half of the blame for letting that useless brotha come in and out of your life and use you as he pleases. have more respect for yourself and he probably will too.
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by XhosaNostra(f): 8:37pm On Mar 30, 2020
So what's the problem now? Forget about him & focus on your future plans. Just you & your child, with no human anchor weighing you down with negativity. You should be cartwheeling right now! angry
You'll meet new people, but don't repeat the same mistakes. Use contraceptives & don't fall pregnant again until a guy spells it out to you that he wants a family with you. Maybe you should also do a bit of introspection. Figure out why you're letting people step all over you. This joke of a relationship went on for as long as it did because YOU allowed it. When you're not getting what you want from a situation, walk away. That's for this one & for any future relationship you may have in the future.

In the meantime, relish in your newly-found freedom & single life because from now on you're not going to settle for less than you deserve, right? It's never too late to make New Year's resolutions or to turn on a new leaf & reinvent yourself. He's history. Finish. On to better things.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by SweetCunt97(f): 8:39pm On Mar 30, 2020
@GreaterGod124, The man is married. Only God in heaven will punish all these married men deceiving and impregnation single ladies.

3 Likes

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by GreaterGod124: 8:40pm On Mar 30, 2020
XhosaNostra:
So what's the problem now? Forget about him & focus on your future plans. Just you & your child, with no human anchor weighing you down with negativity. You should be cartwheeling right now! angry
You'll meet new people, but don't repeat the same mistakes. Use contraceptives & don't fall pregnant again until a guy spells it out to you that he wants a family with you. Maybe you should also do a bit of introspection. Figure out why you're letting people step all over you. This joke of a relationship went on for as long as it did because YOU allowed it. When you're not getting what you want from a situation, walk away. That's for this one & for any future relationship you may have in the future.

In the meantime, relish in your newly-found freedom & single life because from now on you're not going to settle for less than you deserve, right? It's never too late to make New Year's resolutions or to turn on a new leaf & reinvent yourself. He's history. Finish. On to better things.
Thanks for this, God bless you

1 Like

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by GreaterGod124: 8:40pm On Mar 30, 2020
MrBrownJay1:
pls, when the Canadian visa has been approved, brace yourself for this lame dude to come back into your life like you were the only woman in this world.

as sad as this story may be, you should take half of the blame for letting that useless brotha come in and out of your life and use you as he pleases. have more respect for yourself and he probably will too.

Ok thank you
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by SweetCunt97(f): 8:40pm On Mar 30, 2020
MrBrownJay1:
pls, when the Canadian visa has been approved, brace yourself for this lame dude to come back into your life like you were the only woman in this world.

as sad as this story may be, you should take half of the blame for letting that useless brotha come in and out of your life and use you as he pleases. have more respect for yourself and he probably will too.
How him wan know say her visa don ready? Personally never when I don reach Canada I go drop message say I don japa then block d mofo afterwards
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by oazeez1991(m): 8:42pm On Mar 30, 2020
U relocating 2 Canada or anywia else is like running away 4rm ur shadow. If u actually intend 2 start a new life, u can do so y stayin back here. U put lot of effort 2 see ur business grow, so why wud u want 2 destroy it ol just cos of wat life throws ur way? No one can handle it best dan u urself. Don't let ol ur efforts go in2 waste.

I can understand how u feel 2 sm level of extent, trait wise thou, 4rm ur description abt ur lifestyle, it tells u are an introvert, ur inability 2 go out nd mingle is wat is leavin u wif li2 or zero effort findin sm1 (potential suitor).

Don't let him (baby daddy) tk u 4 a ride. U r an independent lady which state u don't need his approval 2 live a gud life nd tk care of ur baby financially.

Talk 2 him one more time nd ask he tell u wat he really want. Give him d condition of either gettin 2 marry u officially by meetin wif ur family or he shud let go of u wif agreement on hw 2 go abt d welfare of d child. If he chuz d former, it's a gud tin, but shud he option 4 d later, be brave enough 2 let go nd mk up ur mind 2 neva go back 2 ur place of vomit. Ol dis wudn't be easy 2 undergo, but it's possible.


Be prayerful nd av faith. May God guide u right.
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by ibkayee(f): 8:44pm On Mar 30, 2020
You need to move on my dear and focus on detaching yourself from him emotionally, it will be tough but it's a necessary 'struggle'. He has shown you he isn't serious in soooo many ways, and I won't be surprised if he's married. This guy has taken you for a mug, please stop allowing it

Also, please stop sleeping with him if you still are (I say this because you said he would sometimes make love to you when visiting the baby).

Kudos for your successful business ventures

As for relocating, I'm getting the impression that you want to move because of him and not necessarily because it's something you want to do yourself? I know your emotions are on overdrive right now but please don't make such hasty decisions based on passing feelings. Have a real think over this and if you decide you still want to move, all the best, a fresh start may indeed be what you require, but just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons for yourself

1 Like

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by XhosaNostra(f): 8:45pm On Mar 30, 2020
dawnomike:
Sorry about what you are going through... I can understand. But, If why you will leave your business and relocate to canada is simply because of him... Kindly abort the mission.
Running away from a problem is never the best way to solve it. Face it heads on and tell him you are no longer interested.
His presence is obviously disrupting your ability to find your own happiness biko! Face it once and for all!!!


No, she needs to put some distance between herself & this guy, so she can gather her thoughts. Out of sight may just be the out of mind she needs, to finally put this chapter in the rearview.

1 Like

Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by MrBrownJay1(m): 8:45pm On Mar 30, 2020
SweetCunt97:
How him wan know say her visa don ready? Personally never when I don reach Canada I go drop message say I don japa then block d mofo afterwards

so you think the dude that services her once in a blue moon (when konji don scatter him head) will not see that she is packing her bags and getting ready to leave the country?!?!?

GreaterGod124:
Ok thank you

btw, i suggest you use HEAVY protection with such man, as they may have a few like you on a roll.
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by Nobody: 8:51pm On Mar 30, 2020
congratulations in advance......on having your second baby for him
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by SweetCunt97(f): 8:59pm On Mar 30, 2020
MrBrownJay1:


so you think the dude that services her once in a blue moon (when konji don scatter him head) will not see that she is packing her bags and getting ready to leave the country?!?!?



btw, i suggest you use HEAVY protection with such man, as they may have a few like you on a roll.
How? You pack ur bag in your room and as it is, he should even have any right to step into her room sef. Anyway sha me get mind.
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by larrixauto2017(m): 9:00pm On Mar 30, 2020
GreaterGod124:
Hmmm...am 33yr old...I met a guy in 2013 during my NYSC and I fell for this guy immediately I met him. I visited him one day, we made love and all. Ever since then, he won't let me be, he will call and call that he wants to to be with. Then I asked if he was married, ofcos hes old enough to be married but he said it's a long story and he was single and that made me feel for him more.

Fast forward to 2 years ago, we have been on and off since then, I just discovered I couldn't love another man and am not the type to mingle with people, I don't party, I don't make friends, I only stay indoor and that really prevents me from getting suitors. So 2years ago, he called me and we settled again and I got preggy which he said I should abort that he wasn't ready for that but the dmfirst knew I aborted for him, I bled for about 2 months then, honestly then i thought it was over for me but God still kept me alive. So i kept the baby and he decided not to see me for about 7 months. So I had to leave my family's house and got my own apartment and he showed up just about 3days before I put to bed and he paid the hospital bills and foot the naming bills...

Since then, he will just come, but the babys needs and all then still make love to me sometimes but I told him he should go see my family but he refused...I don't ask him for money, since I had my baby, things really changed for me, my business expanded, I bought a small apartment at Magodo and all. So he doesn't get to pay any bill for me.

Because of this, I decided to seek for admission in Canada that I want to relocate with my baby and leave the business for a family member and start a new life because am not getting the affection I needed from me and it makes me cry every night...each time I mention marriage rights, he will feel am desperate and we've been off and on for 8years.

I wish the covid 19 will just go away on time with the mercy of God so that I can relocate and start a new life.
So painful.

Although i hate female with passion.
But i can't let them suffer.. But yours is strong oh.. The man for hin mind. Him don carry champion be that oh.. Aunty @33 Not all Men Are ready.. Some just want it. After teasing you cause they know ladies are bigfool you open it wide. So sad.. I wish you good luck..
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by SweetCunt97(f): 9:00pm On Mar 30, 2020
Lostz:
congratulations in advance......on having your second baby for him
No time. Atleast she go get two wonderful kids to call her own.
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by GreaterGod124: 9:06pm On Mar 30, 2020
SweetCunt97:
How? You pack ur bag in your room and as it is, he should even have any right to step into her room sef. Anyway sha me get mind.

I've threatened him with that already that I may leave the country cos of his unserousness but he said when am leaving, once his child is 8years he will collect her from me...if I try to pick up a fight with him, he will say he wants to collect his child and I can't give out my baby because shes the only partner I've got for now.
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by GreaterGod124: 9:10pm On Mar 30, 2020
ibkayee:
You need to move on my dear and focus on detaching yourself from him emotionally, it will be tough but it's a necessary 'struggle'. He has shown you he isn't serious in soooo many ways, and I won't be surprised if he's married. This guy has taken you for a mug, please stop allowing it

Also, please stop sleeping with him if you still are (I say this because you said he would sometimes make love to you when visiting the baby).

Kudos for your successful business ventures

As for relocating, I'm getting the impression that you want to move because of him and not necessarily because it's something you want to do yourself? I know your emotions are on overdrive right now but please don't make such hasty decisions based on passing feelings. Have a real think over this and if you decide you still want to move, all the best, a fresh start may indeed be what you require, but just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons for yourself


Yes I want to leave because of him, I don't know how to open up for my family member that the man is not interested after I have waited for so many years. I can't face the embarrassment and am just using him to cover up for now till I pack my bag...am supposed to resume for my masters in Canada January 2021 but with the situation of this covid19 I don't know when
Re: I Need Advise From Mature Minds Pls by Homeboiy: 9:13pm On Mar 30, 2020
Fake story

Just like a nollywood movie

U bought a small apartment

Mtcheew

1 Like

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