We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs. Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner).

Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants every time we sneeze.

When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hear-me-roar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the bastard (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30's to early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday (which just happens to be the reason all that early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).

Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves. Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks,

Nice
Girls Abeg vex

chai.

anyway,respect 2 d women folks.

@Poster

you be real Perv . . .

wetin carry you go inside 9/10 yr old pikin blouse??

or under im grandmama wrapper??

Partially good question

Efe no mind me, na just curiosity do me

Element G:

Efe no mind me, na just curiosity do me

I knew u were a bad boy

gosh its just a joke

@OP
This one when u personalise this post, are u gender-confused?

I no vex

lysaa:

@OP
This one when u personalise this post, are u gender-confused?

hahaha

Element G:

gosh its just a joke

Let me try to believe you

all of una don kolo

@lysaa, it aint gender confusion, its just personalising so people like mary wont find it confusing

all of una don kolo

@lysaa, it aint gender confusion, its just personalising so people like mary wont find it confusing

Me and you, who dey get confused pass

see? u already av flies on ur brain

Element G:

all of una don kolo

@lysaa, it aint gender confusion, its just personalising so people like mary wont find it confusing

U can say that again.

LOL i see u allready did.

lysaa:

U can say that again.

LOL i see u allready did.

HA!!! me i no talk dat one oooo

c'mon G, u did it twice.

lets just say it was a coincidence , things happen sometimes

Its worth it, kudos g

thanks waooo

Wow waoo, that new. .

lysaaa, y u dey use im name play like dis

its a sweet one G. .

no gbege.

ok ooo, i sure say d guy go don dey blush already

im be oyinbo? Don;t let me go mad now

chei so na only oyinbo u like, u be thief oooo

well who no like better thing

LOL mad as in vex. .una don turn dico up-side-down.

SO na oyinbo be better thin? Me n two dey chill for guest house here sef. .

lysaaa chei *sings: see dis lepa lepa to bad ooo, lepa to bad ooo, u bad, u want it, u bad, u want it,

seriously. .they are watching TV while i'm at this. They can't cross the line except i permit them. .

yeah i'm that good, don't ask. lol

ask ke, i can feel the influence already,