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Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man - Romance (8) - Nairaland

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Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by chaloskyx: 9:43pm On Apr 20, 2020
Are you kidding me you are worrying over a woman do you know how many girls are out there? also you should know that its obvious your babe isnt ready to marry you because shes got her eyes for someone who is already made. so right now finish med school do your masters and be successful also do not reveal your travel plans to her if not all you would marry would be a gold digger who would suck you dry and make you miserable. what you need is someone who believes in your future and is willing to grow with you.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Lexusgs430: 9:43pm On Apr 20, 2020
Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

It all started in 2015, when we gained admission into the University. We began to read together and subsequently I started teaching her. Later on, she made me to read and susummarize her course topics (which I did for up to her 300 level) for her as she usually found it difficult to read with textbooks and understand the contents.

Months before my 2nd MBBS examinations, I began to notice changes in her attitude and behaviour towards me, up to the point that she told me that if I did not pass that examinations that, she will forget about me. But as God may have it, I passed successfully.

Financially, it started right in year one as I celebrated her and her mummy's Christmas from my own pocket. It got to a point that I usually give her her money almost every day (for up to 5yrs) Whenever, I'm traveling in any of our vacations, I usually give money for upkeep until I'm back.

In 300l, I bought her gift worth almost 30k and also celebrated her birthday which she demanded I get her 'point and kill cat fish' that cost 9k.

I usually pay for her textbooks and seminar work as we are all in medical school, I really do a lot for her, as she always told me she would never leave me right from yr 1 to 500l after which she started telling me, their people from Anambra will not let her marry people from Ebonyi State.

She's has known this for all her life, but decided to bring it up just now, when I'm beginning my marriage plans with her, She's started giving me unnecessary excuses in one form or the other.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

This January, my elder brother told me that since I would be graduating in 2022 (which supposed to be 2021 but due to strike before the 2019 election) which is two years time, that I should be planning to get married before I leave this country.

This made me to ask her again if we are ending up together and she told me that she has to seek for her mother's consent, and would give me a feedback.

Before, she travelled (this is just before the lock down) as she was complaining that she does not have any money on her to eat and she want to go and learn how to plait hair which will cost her #8,000, I gave her #16,000. The next day after collecting the money, she told me that she received a call from her mother that she must come back to her State and she travelled with that money without learning anything.

Yesterday by 8:24pm, I called her to tell me the outcome of her mother's discussion with her. She told me that her mother insisted that she cannot marry an Ebonyi man, and she cannot go outside her mother's decision.

In conclusion, she told me that she cannot marry me.

Well, as expected, I'm bracing myself up for insults, (I really don't mind this right now) but amidst the insults, pls advice a brother who's fighting emotionally.

thanks


What would it profit a man, that wants to forcefully marry a woman, that does not want to marry him.......... Lifetime of heartaches........

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Nobody: 9:43pm On Apr 20, 2020
But Anambra can collect and chop Ebonyi money or ego.

The kind thunder that will fire her.

Broz, Kindly look for a serious and committed partner.


Wetin Ebonyi people do other igbo self.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by brightalo1010: 9:44pm On Apr 20, 2020
Spaceclenzy1:
Is one of those things.. She might still come back.. Women are jst like dat.. Dnt beat urself up too much.. Loving can never be a crime no matter the outcome.. U did all that because u love her.. She jst feel lik confirming hw it will be outside.. When she test other guys she will come back.. Don't beat urself up at all
oga once an Anambra babe open her mouth and say her mother advised her not to marry from Ebonyi state, Abia or Imo state,just forget it.

In this case the girl is already on her mother's side which means the op don't stand any chance unless he's son of current Ebonyi state governor.

Op just clean yourself up and move on.

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Happyguy201: 9:44pm On Apr 20, 2020
oga you could have just killed her. and use her for money ritual shes more than EVIL. tufiakwa .
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by osaro6: 9:44pm On Apr 20, 2020
so sad, bro take hrt..my advice to you is to wait for the person cus dat one nor be your own and dis time never use money so that you care the most..
Real guys pretends to be stingy at the first time,when dey re looking for the love of their life;mind you i didn't mean Girlfriend Buh what i mean is when looking for a girl that will be the mother of your children.
So bro in conclusion ,take hrt the right person will come in ease form without money
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by tasceige(m): 9:44pm On Apr 20, 2020
Dude just move on. I'm dead sure you have other girls trying to get your attention.

Set it staright with her, the relationship is over sinking she ain't interested anymore, but you gotta be diplomatic and patient about it.She would come back but be prepared for it.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Liliantalks: 9:44pm On Apr 20, 2020
Samakus:
The easiest way to lose agirl is showing her that you're afraid of losing her.

Liliantalks, shey you have seen that spending lavishly on a girl doesn't keep a leech! Imagine how much this mugu has wasted on a leech. If he had used that money to purchase a piece of land or two, by now, it would have appreciated and become a good investment for him


I will never be a maga for any lady! Let me continue being Mr Stingy that I am for my future wife and family to enjoy.
okay sir
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Johnadeniyi: 9:45pm On Apr 20, 2020
Bro,am not here to add to ur injuries but the truth is u never had a gf in d beginning...she's only using u to survive in school n now that the coast is clear.... she's jumping off.like most commenters rightly said,brace up n forget abt her already,there r lot of fishes in d water bro.
Cheers

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by manuelreports: 9:45pm On Apr 20, 2020
That point and kill part cracked me up
My guy you even dey calculate that one join.
Next time don't spend a dime on a girl you have not married. women are like bleeze, it can blow to anywhere at any time
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Samuelenus2: 9:45pm On Apr 20, 2020
T3ndrils:
I was so pissed and angry at the OP Until I saw this guy's write up...

There's Hope for Men at last.
Atimes I wonder why I have to be so mean to some girls but when I see these things OP is going through it becomes clear that they deserve being mistreated...


my brother. Women are not meant to be maltreated. It's just that he found the wrong lady that is just the simple thing. Relationship is just a complex thing in which when you jam the wrong person, you taught all are the same
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by squad03: 9:46pm On Apr 20, 2020
This is a sad one.
That's a whole investment ,gone just like that.But these things happen,people make bad business deals,cargoes sink, properties get lost in fires.Treat it as a bad business deal,sulk a bit but be intentional about moving on by putting an expiry date on counting your loss,then pick yourself up.
She will come back,but in whatever form she advertises herself,don't be available to find out how to move along from where you left off.
Resist the temptation to find out how she's doing,that's someone else's business now.
Don't make excuses for her, she's an adult and she has made her decision.
It won't be easy but you'll be fine.
Whatever you do,don't snooze on your hustle so that whenever karma brings her back your way, she'll meet you right at the top.

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Sarah20A(f): 9:46pm On Apr 20, 2020
Johntitus:
Hahahaha... You're your problem. How can you shoulder the responsibilities of a lady you've not married? Sha, no too much money dey shack you.
he is not the problem. As a woman I once shouldered a man's responsibilities for the fact that the guy was an asshole doesn't mean I should take the bitterness to my recent relationship. If we truly love someone, automatically their problems become ours so the OP wasn't foolish or stupid for helping the woman he loves.

My advice for the OP is for him to move on ,it might be hard at first but is the best thing to do.just move on don't think about it too much, do things that we make you happy and try to forget about her

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Nobody: 9:47pm On Apr 20, 2020
Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

It all started in 2015, when we gained admission into the University. We began to read together and subsequently I started teaching her. Later on, she made me to read and susummarize her course topics (which I did for up to her 300 level) for her as she usually found it difficult to read with textbooks and understand the contents.

Months before my 2nd MBBS examinations, I began to notice changes in her attitude and behaviour towards me, up to the point that she told me that if I did not pass that examinations that, she will forget about me. But as God may have it, I passed successfully.

Financially, it started right in year one as I celebrated her and her mummy's Christmas from my own pocket. It got to a point that I usually give her her money almost every day (for up to 5yrs) Whenever, I'm traveling in any of our vacations, I usually give money for upkeep until I'm back.

In 300l, I bought her gift worth almost 30k and also celebrated her birthday which she demanded I get her 'point and kill cat fish' that cost 9k.

I usually pay for her textbooks and seminar work as we are all in medical school, I really do a lot for her, as she always told me she would never leave me right from yr 1 to 500l after which she started telling me, their people from Anambra will not let her marry people from Ebonyi State.

She's has known this for all her life, but decided to bring it up just now, when I'm beginning my marriage plans with her, She's started giving me unnecessary excuses in one form or the other.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

This January, my elder brother told me that since I would be graduating in 2022 (which supposed to be 2021 but due to strike before the 2019 election) which is two years time, that I should be planning to get married before I leave this country.

This made me to ask her again if we are ending up together and she told me that she has to seek for her mother's consent, and would give me a feedback.

Before, she travelled (this is just before the lock down) as she was complaining that she does not have any money on her to eat and she want to go and learn how to plait hair which will cost her #8,000, I gave her #16,000. The next day after collecting the money, she told me that she received a call from her mother that she must come back to her State and she travelled with that money without learning anything.

Yesterday by 8:24pm, I called her to tell me the outcome of her mother's discussion with her. She told me that her mother insisted that she cannot marry an Ebonyi man, and she cannot go outside her mother's decision.

In conclusion, she told me that she cannot marry me.

Well, as expected, I'm bracing myself up for insults, (I really don't mind this right now) but amidst the insults, pls advice a brother who's fighting emotionally.

thanks
Do you want to die for someone who has shown early signs of a traitor? Go and rejoice.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Arewa1408: 9:47pm On Apr 20, 2020
Firstly, were you guys in a relationship? I mean you guys were doing the do and all? Even if she promised to marry you, and now she changed her mind, why all the anger? Cos of small money you spent on her? If she were a male friend that was in need trust me you most probably will spend money on him too so dont look at it as money wasted. She came out clean and said her mum says NO, and she cannot go against her mum, That says one thing, she is not interested in marrying you, period. Its not her fault, dont blame her, maybe youre not her type. Just wish her well, forget the small change and move on. All that money spent in 5 years, you will make it in two weeks pay in the USA, so how much is it sef? Now, this is where you will become a big mumu, this lady will most probably come back if someone else breaks her heart and she will expect you to take her back and blame it on devil or the mum, or Medical school stress etc, Now, if you take her back, for any reason, then you need to become a pure water seller because you dont have brains to actually treat people. All the best.

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by giftylyn(f): 9:48pm On Apr 20, 2020
Giwoni,have read through this and I know you love her buh lemme surprise you..what is yours will always be yours...uv spent alot and sacrificed your time for her...God sees what's ahead that you haven't seen, marriage is no man's joke or a child's play,u don't know what u would have faced on the long run of ur union with her,God is actually preparing a special package for you,a better and a sweeter wife.heartbreak is always depressing buh if you look unto God and wait on him he will give you someone that will shower you with love double of what you gave her..leave it God,he really cares and loves you.. please stay safe, GODBLESS YOU

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by ume1000: 9:48pm On Apr 20, 2020
Any girl that ask for her parents permission to marry a guy she has been dating for five years is DATING MULTIPLE GUYS AT THE SAME TIME

5 Likes

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by valnd: 9:48pm On Apr 20, 2020
Well truth be told, Anambra people doesn't regard Ebonyi people as anything.

In fact in Anambra they refer to Ebonyi people as Nwa Aba.

If it's opposite side, the marriage will work.

I will advice you to leave the girl for now

She is under the influence of her parents, friends etc.

Move on with your life, strive to be successful, it will be part of story you will tell.

Wish you all the best in life.

2 Likes

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Viking007(m): 9:49pm On Apr 20, 2020
danduchi:
if possible block her number using truecaller, u see the her calls but it will read busy. Don't always call her and engage seriously in a hobby this period.
Giwoni, Please listen to this advice. Block her number, cut her off completely. Engage in activities that'll keep you very busy. I know it's not easy (I've been there) but trust me, it's the ONLY solution.

2 Likes

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Pickieox(m): 9:49pm On Apr 20, 2020
Man, I can't really say this is the whole story you've captured simply because I've not heard from the other party. Well, all thing being said and done. First thing you need to do is to work on your mind to forget her. She is not the right woman for you. You should have sensed some contour signs in your relationship-you've been the only one there for her, and has she been there for you? That's a question you need to ask yourself. Bro, let her go like Passenger's Let Her Go. She is not tied to your future. Henceforth, keep looking to yourself and love yourself, work more on yourself and your mind and believe me, you will attract the right queen. Watch and listen to Passenger's music with lyric titled, Let Her Go and use it to tame your spirit, trust me you're going to be fine...

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by AnanseK(m): 9:49pm On Apr 20, 2020
Life is like that, young man;

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Mccullum: 9:49pm On Apr 20, 2020
You have learn your lesson in hard way, just be bold to manage the emotional pains that you'll pass through okay, try to quickly summon your courage by looking for new young ladies as that will systematically erase her in your mind, I'm no asking to your rush in to serious relationship - I meant use another girl as an antidote to emotional pains and move on gradually for brighter and rewarding future, please never beg her because there is no compulsion in love, the true love will never lie; only if you observe very well, you will understand more.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Finemanas(m): 9:49pm On Apr 20, 2020
Permit me to say, and am sorry to say
This girl Neva love u from the beginning
She's just using u as a maga
If truly she loves u she can go beyond her mum we've seen people do that
Love knows no bounds
Am sorry bro
The girl is gone and am sure she's gone for good
After all you've done for her out of love, it's normal to feel emotionally drained
Don't let it weigh u down
We have a lot of beautiful decent, and well manared career girls out there but until u forget about her u won't see one
Good luck bro
Wish u speedy recovery
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Isaacmacdon(m): 9:49pm On Apr 20, 2020
Guys, even though you have the money, never use it as a means to attract a girl. You'll only Attract hungry ones.


It could also mean you're the gentle, calm type, but you're a gentleman who doesn't mind spending on the one you Love.

At the end, it's better to take a break. Chill out a bit.
You need a break. She's only in for what she's going to gain. Call her "Opportunist" if you wish.

You'll do better. I can assure you that.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by tomju(m): 9:50pm On Apr 20, 2020
I really did not want to comment on this topic but that will be unfair to the OP.
I had a similar experience. My own case was slightly different. I didn't sponsor the girl in it's entirety through medical school but as soon as we started dating in her year 2. I started spending and supporting her financially through university/ medical school. Clothes, shoes, cash etc. Her parents did too . There are some things her parents could not provide, I did. We got engaged in her final year. As soon as she came back from youth service, story changed. Her mum wanted her to marry a doctor too! Not an engineer. He dad wants this, that. Long story short she called it off. 7 years of love, relationship turned sour. Even after giving up on marrying a white girl that was really pestering me, but came back to naija for this girl!
So much money spent. Anyway, one advice for you. Move on. It's safer to land someone who loves you for real, than force yourself on someone who's heart and interest is outside.
One thing the girls don't understand is that you can't choose wealth over happiness. You must use your head. Your parents will not live with the husband. You will. Go with a man with potentials and the rest will be fine.
So move on and forget her. You deserve better.

11 Likes

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by SavageBoy: 9:50pm On Apr 20, 2020
MARX77:
Permit me to list out a few things

1. From the beginning of the relationship, you have probably given this girl d mindset that if she leaves u, u r done for.

2. Bro, if u use money take open relationship, ready to dey drop money... So all this your expenses here and there na u cos am. Never use money as a means to hold down a woman, they're always in need, and most of them will go for the highest bidder.

3. I don't know who needs to hear this, except the girl na ur wife, never ever let a lady influence decisions that u know can make your life better. NEVER DO THAT. Make decisions to better ur life, Bleep whatever she thinks.

4. Boss, any girl when dey look for consent to marry you don go already. Forget her...

5. You're lucky you passed your exam, you for know afa

6. I can bet my left ass that your lady has someone already promising her the moon and the stars. SHE'S GONE BRO.

MY ADVICE: Brace yourself, retrace your steps and before she drops the bombshell on you,
Break up with her in a very dope way, like stars do, no fight, no insults.

YOUR FUTURE IS BRIGHT MAN, take it from me, ON GOD.

*Drops mic*

My guy you killed it...

Let's give this commenter a standing ovation smiley

1 Like

Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Joefat: 9:51pm On Apr 20, 2020
I think the problem we have right here is just that, this guy in question seems like a get inside guy to me.. He doesn't seems exposed.. Trust my Lagos guys, at SS1.. They can't fall a victim like this guy do. But here is the thing.. There's is a family rules, but love above all rules.. If this gal really love you, all she will have in her mind, is Bleep rules.. And mind you.. Do you made your research very well that, all this lady was saying about her mom say this, mom say that was directly from her mom?. Or maybe she has feed up of the relationship which she doesn't know how to tell it to your face or break up with you. Maybe that's the reason why she's hiding under her mom shadow.. But my advice for you, you have a long way to go. And I expect you to take this as a lesson. Move on...
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by Olude193: 9:51pm On Apr 20, 2020
cry cry cry cry


Owo ti Jo Naa


Move on


She had this plan right from onset
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by here: 9:51pm On Apr 20, 2020
You were in love and you supported her that’s fine. She has told you she can’t go against her mother so move on and let her be be a man and tell her you reasoned it and want her to follow her mum advice. She might come back but pls don’t accept. You are a medical student for f sake behave like one seriously not seen a potential Mbbs being this childish over mls. You need to focus on that remaining yr and pass your course and focus on training under the best housemanship rather than this ur mentality. You’re there complaining she listens to her mother when you are planing marriage not because you are ready but because your elder brother told you to. How did you pass your medical exams really? You’re in a relationship and a girl is even given u ultimatum if you don’t pass no show what kind of childish relationship?
How can patients be left in your care when your this childish in opinions of life? As I said before move on and you need to work on yourself you have personal esteem issues pls
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by IkeJAH(m): 9:52pm On Apr 20, 2020
My brother, your story is quite pathetic, and full of emotions. From experience, it will be very difficult for you to marry her.Even if you do,the marriage may cut your life early.As I said earlier,love is all about a special feeling,but marriage is practically about commitment, from a man and a woman that love each other DEEPLY. Your acclaimed girl friend does not have any form of commitment to marry you(though,from your narration). Sadly too,from onset,you presented yourself as an ATM ,which she manipulates at her own will.
Lastly, and most important bro, for your health and future, brace up and move on with your studies.
She would always attach herself to you even after the breakup bc of the financial benefit she enjoys from you.
Search for a woman that loves you for who you are (including your ethnicity, et al) and not what you can offer her.
My best wishes.
Re: Her Mother Said She Can't Marry An Ebonyi Man by zyzxx(m): 9:52pm On Apr 20, 2020
Giwoni:
My Love Experience

Good day NLanders

I'm a medical student, and gf ( not sure what to call her now) is in MLS. We are both in same level (500l).

It all started in 2015, when we gained admission into the University. We began to read together and subsequently I started teaching her. Later on, she made me to read and susummarize her course topics (which I did for up to her 300 level) for her as she usually found it difficult to read with textbooks and understand the contents.

Months before my 2nd MBBS examinations, I began to notice changes in her attitude and behaviour towards me, up to the point that she told me that if I did not pass that examinations that, she will forget about me. But as God may have it, I passed successfully.

Financially, it started right in year one as I celebrated her and her mummy's Christmas from my own pocket. It got to a point that I usually give her her money almost every day (for up to 5yrs) Whenever, I'm traveling in any of our vacations, I usually give money for upkeep until I'm back.

In 300l, I bought her gift worth almost 30k and also celebrated her birthday which she demanded I get her 'point and kill cat fish' that cost 9k.

I usually pay for her textbooks and seminar work as we are all in medical school, I really do a lot for her, as she always told me she would never leave me right from yr 1 to 500l after which she started telling me, their people from Anambra will not let her marry people from Ebonyi State.

She's has known this for all her life, but decided to bring it up just now, when I'm beginning my marriage plans with her, She's started giving me unnecessary excuses in one form or the other.

In 400L, my elder brother told me that I should leave my medical school here to go and study the same medicine abroad. Because of her, I told him that I want to finish my school here since I am already in 400 level. That after my MBBS degree, I can then go abroad for my Masters degree...

This January, my elder brother told me that since I would be graduating in 2022 (which supposed to be 2021 but due to strike before the 2019 election) which is two years time, that I should be planning to get married before I leave this country.

This made me to ask her again if we are ending up together and she told me that she has to seek for her mother's consent, and would give me a feedback.

Before, she travelled (this is just before the lock down) as she was complaining that she does not have any money on her to eat and she want to go and learn how to plait hair which will cost her #8,000, I gave her #16,000. The next day after collecting the money, she told me that she received a call from her mother that she must come back to her State and she travelled with that money without learning anything.

Yesterday by 8:24pm, I called her to tell me the outcome of her mother's discussion with her. She told me that her mother insisted that she cannot marry an Ebonyi man, and she cannot go outside her mother's decision.

In conclusion, she told me that she cannot marry me.

Well, as expected, I'm bracing myself up for insults, (I really don't mind this right now) but amidst the insults, pls advice a brother who's fighting emotionally.

thanks
bro, I feel your pain, is it the years we should talk about? Is it the love that you closed your mind that she will be the only one you will spend your life with, etc

But bro if you look closely, you will see that God is saving you... A lady you practically served for 5 years, without any guilt or conscience, can face you that her mum said no, bro be thanking you head you didn't marry Her

Bro let me tell you this, I don't no maybe you are a Christian o, there is something about God, it is called restoration, man cannot restore time, but God can

Let her go, lock yourself inside play Christan song, dance away your sorrow and praise God and come and see how God will give you what eyes have not seen, what ears have not heard, what hasn't come to the mind of man
A wife

That one up there is not a wife, she is a gf


And Pls note this, some people came into your life in the first place so that they can leave

So why bitter about such person

Pls send this text to her
"the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of that lord" wish her well

1 Like

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