ditto

WhiteJacket:
I broke up with my long term partner few days ago. It really came as a wrench to her.

Reason was that in the past, she did treat me like shit, that even though we got over it a while recently, I couldn't get away from the guilt, resentment and damage it seemed to be doing to me. We never really had the conversation, It felt a bit dismissive, but I just got along with it. So I was faking it for a long time, but still being very caring regardless. I think overall, she is in a better position in terms of resources than if she was alone, but that is not the point. I think I lost a lot of my self and self respect during the relationship, and also felt blackmailed in many times due to other affiliations we have, which is what kept me quite long.

Now, I ended it, and as much as I would like to be nicer, things escalated due to the emotions, which made it hard for me, I fell out with her family. For this reason, I quit being overly caring and just did the base minimum, while maintaining respect.

As a person I do care for her, but I found I needed time to fully sort my emotions. I told her that I am respecting her but "I need to be". I offered to call up her friends or family and even my friends which she declined. I assured her that it is a process and she will definitely be better soon. She asked a lot of questions which I gave general answers to because I didn't know how to answer them, or couldn't deal. Regardless, I left and blocked off all communication.

It's been two days, but it is a lot of guilt.. Anyone felt this before?

Pls someone should translate and summarise, I didn't understand this gist