A wrong way to Meet, Date and Marry

When anyone starts a relationship or heads to marriage by first building from the physical level to the spiritual level, which to them is marital vows in church, it usually ends in disaster or divorce.

Most youths start their approach of who to meet based on a person's physical appearance. For the men it's how small or big her breasts or hips are, or how pretty her face is, or slim her waist is. Same for the ladies as well how tall, how slender or big his body build, his firm arms etc.

If how he or she looks is good enough they move to the emotional stage and infatuation or what I call "a dream state" - where love is blind and causes people to fall in love only to open their eyes later with so many questions they should have first asked.

This kind of relationship focus on physical expressions of love, the emotions, and because of the intensity of positive feelings in this phase, the couple often avoids talking about the relationship itself. They are enjoying the emotions too much to talk about the relationship or where it is going.

You know there are people who enjoy sleep so much that even when they know they need to wake up, they refuse to wake up. Same with anyone who denies the fact they don't know where a relationship is heading but continue anyway.

This phase, precariously balanced on a physical foundation, also tends to be filled with mood swings. Wild adoration can be followed almost instantaneously by insane jealousy. Because so little is actually known about the other person, statements he makes or actions she does are interpreted by the other persons own experiences and attitudes.

At that stage there are already cracks which some who don't break up or wake up at this point continue to ignore and move into the introduction of friends and family, who begin to ask questions they should have asked each other.

As they enter the psychological phase of their relationship based on their physical and emotional chemistry, in this phase the stresses of life and the varied experiences created by the physical, emotional, and social aspects of the relationship create certain questions and needs in the relationship. It becomes time to talk about the future and explore in detail each other's personality and values. No matter how carefully they have guarded their character and personalities in the earlier phases of the relationship, time and closeness occasionally allow them to see the other as a "real" person. Flaws and potential problems begin to surface. The fragile nature of the relationship becomes clear. It doesn't take much for the relationship, balanced on such a small tip of physical attraction, to fall over and disintegrate.

Many at this point should or would pick a broken heart over a broken home but then when a couple reaches the point where they yearn for the relationship to last, or they become sufficiently afraid it might end if they don't do something to give it long-term stability, they enter a phase we'll call 'spiritual'.

They want a pastor, priest, or rabbi to confirm their union and make it official. In a pinch, even a judge will do. A lovely church festooned with candles and flowers and a ceremony filled with solemn words spoken before friends and family create a religious veneer that is supposed to declare to the world that this relationship will last forever.

A dream come true or a nightmare about to begin.

The extravagance of many weddings hides the sad truth that the couple at the altar is already in relational trouble. Many of them realized that their weddings had been unconscious, last-ditch efforts to save relationships that were already dying. They had been unable to handle all the complexity that was gradually crushing that initial carefree moment of "falling in love".

Instead of living in a daydream and following the same process all over again, where we begin by physical chemistry to emotions then we find ourselves at the altar or in need or spiritual help. Let's build from the right point and proper perspective which I would share later on that attraction is more important than looks, connection built via correct and consistent communication is more solid than just feelings and chemistry.

A spiritual component is the only foundation broad and strong enough to sustain the rest of the relationship. This spiritual component includes a clear understanding of God's entire prescription for love. And this three abide first faith, then hope and finally the greatest love.

When faith is not the foundation or the starting point of your love it will fall.

Tanks

Nice one.
Thanks.

Eulalia:
Nice one. Thanks.

your welcome

Wayne4uall:
Tanks

your welcome

Good morning

Good morning have a wonderful week

Good evening