osazsky:
then what will u be doing...just breastfeeding.. nor worry u go see ur type ...u are not my type..we do working class ladies

breast feeding is work o.

Shuuu!

sowilli:
Did she not know you are civil servant before marrying you?

a civil servant with side huzle in a month on d average he earns 200k d wife should go and look for 100k job making it 300k..any family that cannot survive with 300k a month has a serious medical condition that eats up the money maybe cancer

Bola146:
O ga o, let her know your worth, and always stand on how you manage your expenses. She is physically okay, let her go and work harder so that she can lavish it anyhow . I don't know why some women no get sense

Please, are you TRULY a lady? If yes, then I just want to say am touched. Thanks for speaking frankly to your gender.

Not toasting you o, are you still single within the age bracket of 32 - 36 years, let us discuss.

I click. The like for your frank comment.

funmisticqueen2:
she is telling you to switch gears, see it as a challenge and don't dissapoint your family.

Also try to talk with her and get her on the same page as you

I am very hard working even her family can testify but althesame, thanks for this.

funmisticqueen2:
breast feeding is work o.

Shuuu!

so u don't know when women breastfedd they are given compulsory 3 months leave

emmaodet:


Bro sorry, there is little or nothing you can do about the situation.
Immediately a lady eyes opens to extravagant and luxurious things that are above your income, the option you have is either to bitterly cut the marriage off or you will have to go down the drain through regular nagging which will lead to high BP then to Cardiac arrest then to stroke then to grave.
I have seen this play out over and over and over and over in many marriages. Please don't let any fvcking woman pressure you to live above your income or lifestyle, it will always end in tears.
Can't she work? dem dey forbid am?
You are working for God sake.
I pity the men in this generation because the women on street right now are mostly damaged. i will urge all men to start learning how to do house chores and take care of babies/kids because from now on, marriages/relationship will keep going sour and more sour.
A neighbour of mine who isn't doing bad, working at Lafarge cement/Wapco in sagamu, driving a nice 2006 toyota camry and apartment averagely furnished was shocked when his wife whom he has 3 kids with abandoned him and the kids to follow her friend to Oman last year.
I was shocked that how will a woman have the heart to leave hubby with 3 BOYS to go to Oman, to do what? hustle? runs?
The calibers of women this generation is churning out are cold-hearted snakes, unremorseful and deadly.

I tell my wife , na lazy man go dey fear make woman no leave am. I no fit come die, make you get money like shekere, even sabi in the other room like werey, if them go leave , they will. If my best ain't enough pack your load.

ademidedavid:

I swear, I am really finding a way to just make myself happy and I am avoiding the thoughts of having a side chick

I thought most ladies want GOD fearing, faithful, honest & loving man as husband.

Here is one of such men they describe but his wife would rather want other wise.

Don’t hit or slap her next time as this is where you are at fault. But again she behaves like she does not know what’s happening in the country economy wise as cost of living & things generally are very expensive so she just have to be content with what you can provide & work hard also to contribute her quota.

Don’t hustle illegally or steal funds.
After the man goes thru illegal ways to make more money to please his wife & he gets caught eventually which is always the case, then he is shown on t.v by EFCC it is this same wife that will insult her husband as a shameless man.

Such wives are quick to move on with another man once the bubble burst & dump the marriage.

kunletexs:


Please, are you TRULY a lady? If yes, then I just want to say am touched. Thanks for speaking frankly to your gender.

Not toasting you o, are you still single within the age bracket of 32 - 36 years, let us discuss.

I click. The like for your frank comment.

correct man

osazsky:
so u don't know when women breastfedd they are given compulsory 3 months leave

because it is work intensive.

ademidedavid:

I swear, I am really finding a way to just make myself happy and I am avoiding the thoughts of having a side chick

Go buy ps5 ,dey use am cool body.... my brother our papas try no be small

rockstarB:

How is it struggle love? abi she no see the man like this before she married him. OP didnt say she was forced or coerced into the marriage. She needs to get a job too, so she can live the kind of life she wants.

bet me if she get a job tomorrow she Will sell her body join not minding she a married woman just to leave the kind of life she want.

grandstar:
ademidedavid
You have to be firm and she must know you're a no-nonsense man and you'll never soil your hands. Once that message sinks in, her brain will reset and she will accept things.

Do you think Buhari never faced pressure from his wife to be corrupt when he was under PTF? Most upright men face pressure from their wives or children yet they stand their ground. It is simply not in their character.

Do you want the better things in life for yourself and your children? Do you think the federal job can achieve it? If not, start putting in place a plan B

Can you engage in private practice? If yes, then do.

If not, you can make plans to retire and enter the private sector either as an employee or as a self-employed person. Use your present position for networking so as to position you well when you're into business. Make friends and connections now by doing a great job and leaving a good name.

Even if you start PP now, you may have to keep it from your wife lest she starts living a flamboyant life. You may eventually have to retire so you can live well.

I was actually working with a private sector before moving into federal sector just because I will have better time for my PP, all in the name of making more money........I thinking keeping certain sources of income will go a long way in solving the issues .....much gratitude

If I advised you not to marry a woman who likea fine fine thing am sure you wouldn't have listened.
My heart felt prayers are will you all

ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

How a literate and well exposed guy like u, ended up marrying a "sit down look" as a wife, baffles me. This is an ant infested wood u brought home. Enjoy the lizards having a field day.

My candid advice:-

Don’t let your wife push you into crooked ways you will live to regret & don’t allow her make you feel less of a man cause you can’t afford the life-style she can’t maintain for herself as well.

m140:

Money ke, my brother no one knows sef.
People wey get money their wife still dey collect outside, no one knows joor, Bezos no divorce

that's why it's not good to invest in women. I call it bad business.

lereinter:


It seems the op na woman wrapper

Gerrout jare

So I should beat her black and blue and you will still be the 1st person to crucify me

emmaodet:


Bro sorry, there is little or nothing you can do about the situation.
Immediately a lady eyes opens to extravagant and luxurious things that are above your income, the option you have is either to bitterly cut the marriage off or you will have to go down the drain through regular nagging which will lead to high BP then to Cardiac arrest then to stroke then to grave.
I have seen this play out over and over and over and over in many marriages. Please don't let any fvcking woman pressure you to live above your income or lifestyle, it will always end in tears.
Can't she work? dem dey forbid am?
You are working for God sake.
I pity the men in this generation because the women on street right now are mostly damaged. i will urge all men to start learning how to do house chores and take care of babies/kids because from now on, marriages/relationship will keep going sour and more sour.
A neighbour of mine who isn't doing bad, working at Lafarge cement/Wapco in sagamu, driving a nice 2006 toyota camry and apartment averagely furnished was shocked when his wife whom he has 3 kids with abandoned him and the kids to follow her friend to Oman last year.
I was shocked that how will a woman have the heart to leave hubby with 3 BOYS to go to Oman, to do what? hustle? runs?
The calibers of women this generation is churning out are cold-hearted snakes, unremorseful and deadly.

When you tell men to completely abandon marriage/dating and go their own way when they CAN'T find a woman that meets 90% of marriage material, they'll start screaming INCEL. The kids these men seek can be gotten outside the rigid confines of the business contract called marriage.

Then, they go ahead to lower their standards in picking these women, ending up marrying the worst of women and enabling their bad behaviour.

Mariangeles:


You're seeing things that aren't there!
Your type can accuse one wrongly!

As in ehn.
Thats to show she didn't fully read the story, she just has her own warped view about men that she has already concluded that this is another typical cases of men hurting women.

funmisticqueen2:
because it is work intensive.

pls how old are u don't quite me again..I have worked for various multinationals. Banks. Before I set up my biz...if u are a female and working for a good company once u give birth u are given 3 to 6 months leave with pay..have u finished secondary sch..I pray my son don't come across such..my wife is a caterer her least job is 1m for services and deco.if u price 999 thousand u will be directed to her friend..go and work this is the 21st century..the sex u can offer all other girls can offer it too.sex is overrated

Mariangeles:


You're seeing things that aren't there!
Your type can accuse one wrongly!

As in ehn.
Thats to show she didn't fully read the story, she just has her own warped view about men that she has already concluded that this is another typical case of men hurting women.

Bola146:
O ga o, let her know your worth, and always stand on how you manage your expenses. She is physically okay, let her go and work harder so that she can lavish it anyhow . I don't know why some women no get sense

Thank you very much. Best advice
not that fool that is asking the man to go and tender unreserved apology.

Is it not her mate that go and get money by all means to assist the family?

Stand your ground and only give what you can afford. If she is not ok with it let her go.
It may sound harsh be that's only saving you from more pressure and depression.

ademidedavid:

I am a very cool person but with short temper which made me give her the slap but slapping her at the back wasn't the best choice either......doing most things for our daughter

My brother, no put her matter for mind ooo, just leave am. I don fight my wife once n I no regret am pkin, na that day I no say my wife maddin gan. She was like no man ever slap am before , I told her I never raised my hands on any woman before. That day wetin she no break finish,,,, today the matter na laughing thing.... if you wan apologize, you can, but no carry her matter for mind ooo, you go just die, n she lives enjoying her life ooo. Where you pikin go dey your dead body no go know. Just try be responsible, if it's not enough for her, my brother pack. I dey always tell my wife , if your frustrate me too much , if you no pack , I pack for you. Be happy ooo, na female landlord plenty every where

jay2smart19:


You no fit tell me say you self no see this behaviour during courtship

Yes I saw it but thought my jobs can cater for it

funmisticqueen2:
coming from the monicker called poorboy.

You can't even afford hungry girls. I'll stop giving you attention now as i mind the business that pays me.

a girl is a commodity I should afford, that says alot about the family you come from.

My moniker is POORBOY, yes if I no be davido, Wizkid, e-money etc then I never rich na....

daaaaaamn niggaaar .. dem tie you to her .. divorce her

meetme01:


Your wife needs your unreserved apology. You need remorseful which is through your attitude. Let her know you are deeply sorry.

/
No apology necessary. At least not now. She is testing his limits. She already knew there would be repercussions for her actions even before she started. Stop treating women like infallible angels. Treat them like humans.


Only apologize when everything has been settled. Be quick to apology and you have opened a pandora box of psychological blackmail henceforth.

NB: I can translate women into plain language.



/

ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

You married her, not the other way round. And don't do anything you don't want to cus of her. If she is not okay with whom you're and what you have to offer but rather you do the extreme just to please her selfish n unreasonable desires broda i advice you send her packing. She can land you into big trouble and won't be with you during your time of despair. Talk to her, but if she refuses to change! Flog her to her parents house before she sends you to ya early grave.

Poorboy:
that's why it's not good to invest in women. I call it bad business.

One can if you one got some to spare, not last kobo or money not in excess

meetme01:
You don F-up. Raising your hands on any woman talkless your wife has degraded you. That's the bitter truth.

Back to the main issue. Your wife needs your unreserved apology. You need remorseful which is through your attitude. Let her know you are deeply sorry.

To her, is she not working? Why have you refused to set her up in a biz? One problem I have realized in today's marriage is, finance. It's really creating a lot of issues in most marriage. As a man, if you earn from three sources, declare only two. Let her know how the money is spent to the last kobo. That was the initial problem, you need to fix that part asap

While I will never encourage or support domestic violence, I believe that strong measures have to be taken to address certain excesses by a wife.

For every 'excess' that is left unaddressed, there are a score more in the offing, which are likely to drive the man nought.

No two marriages are exactly the same. I am sure the advise you gave OP aligns with your own style.

It is likely not going to work in his home. I really don't see N100,000+ as too small for a family of two adults and an infant, neither do I see how making her know how every kobo is earned and spent will make things better.

I think OP should assess his wife properly and see how best to address her new life of insatiability. Starting a business for the woman wont improve the situation. This could cost them so much if it is not handled.

Bola146:
O ga o, let her know your worth, and always stand on how you manage your expenses. She is physically okay, let her go and work harder so that she can lavish it anyhow . I don't know why some women no get sense

This is beautiful. Ya very open minded. Perfect advice.

Kylce042:


This is beautiful. Ya very open minded. Perfect advice.

and she is even a female while the other idiot fumilayyyyyyuaaa is saying rubbish..she should eat her sex o