@Sledge
I am down laughing, this is the best!!

Eldav sets up Jackpot to go on a blind date with ARareGem, a friend of his but Jackpot is a little worried about going out with someone he has never seen before.

"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Jackpot, "I'll be stuck with her all night."

"Don't worry." Eldav says. "Just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't, just shout 'Aaauuuggghhh!' and fake an asthma attack."

So that night, Jackpot knocks at ARareGem's door, and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. Jackpot's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts, "Aaauuuggghhh!"

lol sledge nice one

Lol, Sledge.

^can you laugh my turn for me?

Mtchew

Well, I almost laughed sha

jackpot:

^can you laugh my turn for me?

Mtchew

That's gotta hurt, abi?
Why attack ARareGem who laughed and not Sledge who wrote? See bashy, you nor attack sef. Abi becos she dey part of the cast and she bone you? Heaven know say if na my sister, upon seeing you , she go shout "blood of Jesus!"

Ugly boi!

Little Mikuz's teacher asks, "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"

Little Mikuz replies, "A teacher."

The Teacher asked Little Mikuz, "How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?"

Little Mikuz replied, "Just don't bite any."

sledge406:

That's gotta hurt, abi?
Why attack ARareGem who laughed and not Sledge who wrote?

i no even bash her sef. make she borrow me mouth laugh, na bad thing?

@sledge
BTW, who told you i can't revoke your joke license? Mama Cray-fish eating boy like u. Mtchew

sledge406:

That's gotta hurt, abi?
Why attack ARareGem who laughed and not Sledge who wrote? See bashy, you nor attack sef. Abi becos she dey part of the cast and she bone you? Heaven know say if na my sister, upon seeing you , she go shout "blood of Jesus!"

Ugly boi!

hahaha!!

now that is funny!

jackpot:

i no even bash her sef. make she borrow me mouth laugh, na bad thing?

@sledge
BTW, who told you i can't revoke your joke license? Mama Cray-fish eating boy like u. Mtchew

Jackpot (NOT), quit trying to keep up with me. You go wound o!
I eat crayfish and sea foods but you test shyte for a living. You're disgusting!

At Sunday school, they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Bashy seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week, his mother noticed him lying down as though he was ill, and she said, "Bashy, what is the matter?"

Little Bashy responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I am going to have a wife."

Eternal God, we put our faces on the ground before you today as we beg you to forgive our sins, even though, we black people, haven't sinned. I'm saying this because we are not the ones who killed your only son Jesus Christ, white people did!

As you know even better than we do, he was betrayed by a white man, they handed him over to another white man who ordered him to be whipped!

Moreover, these same white people ordered him to be crucified! The traitor was called Judas Iscariot. You can check this out, we don't have names like Iscariot here in Nigeria, we are called: Ikenna, Emem, Yakubu, Achebe, Odige, Ada, Sade, Sola, Halima, Idara, Chidi, Hassana, Nana, Taiwo, Nnamdi, Shehu, Osaro, Funke, Chidera, Danjuma, Doyinsola, Aloaye….

We have no clue where is the Golgotha (that's the place where they crucified your beloved son), we just know how to go from Lagos to Kaduna to Abuja to Ibadan to Enugu to Maidugiri and come back.

We've never been to any of the holy cities in the Bible; therefore we can't possibly be implicated in the crucifixion of our Lord. If you don't believe us, please watch the movie "The Passion of the Christ", and you will see for yourself that no black person, let alone an African or a Nigerian took part to that sad event.

This is why we beg you, O Lord Almighty, please make black people rich at long last and let white people work for them for a change!
Otherwise, open more avenues so we can catch them mugu.

Amen & Amen!

^^did your boss @ work give you punishment to come NL come post essays as jokes?

SMH

sledge406:


Jackpot (NOT), quit trying to keep up with me.

who dey keep up with you? Me wey don overtake you tey tey

You go wound o!
I eat crayfish and sea foods but you test shyte for a living. You're disgusting!

you wey eat your own watery faeces raw.
Na so you take learn recycling of waste products? eurrgghhhh. . .

*hey somebody get me tissue, I wanna puke*

Little Johnny was with his mom as she was driving her old beat up car on the Highway. She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her. After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road she looked at her speedometer to see she is doing 15 miles over the speed limit.

Slowing down she moved over to the side to let the group of cars get ahead. She looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. Pulling over she waited for the officer to come up to her car.

As he did he said, "Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?"

Little Johnny piped up from the back seat, "I do! It's because you couldn't catch the other cars."

Little Johnny asks the teacher, "Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?"

The teacher replies, "Yes, but only after you recite the alphabet, Johnny."

Little Johnny says, "Fine!" Then he quickly babbles out: "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ!"

The teacher asks him, "Where is the P, Johnny?"

Johnny screams, "IT'S RUNNING DOWN MY LEG!!! PLEASE LET ME GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!"

sledge-4-0-prick take this:

*aims for his mouth and then FARTS LOUDLY*

[s]it's a punishment for [b]sp[i]e[/i]rm[/b]ing this thread with Little Johnny's craps and all that[/s]

You just dey do everything to call me out.
You go fit stand when I bring the faya come your zone?

Anyway, na how you take grow u dey display so. You and your bro dey mess for una mouth with pride.

Once Jackpot kept having the same weird dream every day, so he went to his doctor.

Doctor: What was your dream about?

Jackpot: I was being chased by a vampire!

Doctor: Really, What was the scenery like?

Jackpot: I was running in a hallway.

Doctor: Then what happened?

Jackpot: Well, that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I would always come to this door, but I couldn't open it. I kept pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!

Doctor: Did the door have any letters on it?

Jackpot: Yes, it did.

Doctor: And what did the letters spell?

Jackpot: It said, "P-U-L-L."

A man accused of theft was appearing before the Judge.

"Your Honor," his lawyer said, "I feel it is very unfair for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in this city only a few days ago and barely knows his way around. What's more, he is only able to speak a few words of English."

The judge looked sternly at the defendant and asked, "How much English do you speak?"

The defendant looked up and replied, "Give me your wallet!"

Lol crazy.

@sledge 4-0-prick

you get VIP jokes? I'm tired of seeing only kindergarten jokes

sledge406:

A man accused of theft was appearing before the Judge.

"Your Honor," his lawyer said, "I feel it is very unfair for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in this city only a few days ago and barely knows his way around. What's more, he is only able to speak a few words of English."

The judge looked sternly at the defendant and asked, "How much English do you speak?"

The defendant looked up and replied, "Give me your wallet!"

Lol!

Now this is good - me likey!!

^Oh. .I'm not surprised. You like everything

Boy, I've got taste now

I like everything good

esp. good jokes! 

sledge406:

Once JackpotPeter kept having the same weird dream every day, so he went to his doctor.

Doctor: What was your dream about?

JackpotPeter: I was being chased by a vampire!

Doctor: Really, What was the scenery like?

JackpotPeter: I was running in a hallway.

Doctor: Then what happened?

JackpotPeter: Well, that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I would always come to this door, but I couldn't open it. I kept pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!

Doctor: Did the door have any letters on it?

JackpotPeter: Yes, it did.

Doctor: And what did the letters spell?

JackpotPeter: It said, "P-U-L-L."

Lol. . . MUMU!   

So that monkey bears the name Peter? What a Crackpot!

I think we should leave it this way Jackpot = Peter = Crackpot = Mumu = (MU²)

Hey! I didn't mean it that way now. I changed the name so as not to get into Jack's trouble since I liked the joke.

No need to be scared of the MU²

I've got your back, okay?

jackpot:

sledge-4-0-prick take this:

*aims for his mouth and then FARTS LOUDLY*

[s]it's a punishment for [b]sp[i]e[/i]rm[/b]ing this thread with Little Johnny's craps and all that[/s]

lol, and this is funny