LOL see Studio dey insult eldav and eldav dey insult studio but who no know dem go dey laugh but we wey know say Studio na eldav and eldav na studio no go new to us

A guy with a 25-inch di.ck went to a doctor and said, 'I can't live with this anymore! It's too long.' The doctor replied, 'I can't do anything for you, but if you see the doctor in the bayou, she can help you.'
So, he went to the bayou and saw the doctor. The doctor said, 'Go into the swamp and you will find a female frog there. Ask her to marry you,  She'll say 'No',  and you'll lose 5 inches off your di.ck.'
So, he went to the swamp, found the frog and asked her, 'Will you marry me?' "No!', she said. He lost 5 inches off his member! The guy liked the results and thought, 20 inches is just too much. So he asked the frog again, 'Will you marry me? 'The frog said, 'No! 'And the guy lost another 5 inches.
He thought, God, 15 inches is great! But 10 inches would just be perfect. So he asked again, 'Will you marry me? 'And the frog said, 'How many times do I have to tell you,  NO! NO! NO!

A man seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman on a plane noticed she was reading a intimate statistics book. He asked about it & she said; "It is said that in Nigeria, Hausas have the longest manhood, Calabar men have the biggest diameter. By the way, my name is JANE, what's yours?"
He coolly replied, "Salisu Ekong"!!

What a wonderful story there full of lessons to learn. javascript:void(0);

Nice one sledge

Bashy
Please if u no go respect my old age, atleast try respect my C.F.R rank. Whatsup with you? Mtchew

Apologize openly and i'll forgive you

A boy who had intentions of being a doctor got his WAEC result with 2 credits in Igbo Language and Agricultural Science. Luckily for him he had an Uncle who worked in the medical college. So he now embarked on a journey to secure an admission in medicine. The following discussion went on between the boy and his Uncle.
Uncle: Junior, long time. How are you doing?
Boy: I'm okay. I came looking for admission in your faculty.
Uncle: So how were your O'levels?
Boy: Fine oh. I really want to be the first doctor from our village and with your help I can secure an admission.
Uncle: What was your result?
Boy: 2 credits in Igbo Language and Agricultural Science.
Uncle: (Laughing) You can still be a doctor but a native one. You will use your credit in Agric to look for herbs and the one in Igbo to chant incantations.

. . .The Dibia has arrived!

LOL sledge nice one

Sales Girl: Sir, No smoking in the shop.
Customer: But I purchased these cigarettes from here.
Sales Girl: We also sell condoms here and it doesnt mean u can start f[i]uc[/i]king us here too.

A young gal is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.

She says: ''You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live & look for apartment 14A & with your elbow push the door. Come inside & you will find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell & I'll open the door for you''

The boyfriend says: ''Dear, that sounds very easy to find but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?''

She responds: "Oh my God!! You are not coming empty-handed, are you?!!!"

Funny setta jokes. I like 'em clean tho.

It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre the fighter pilot and says, "Pierre, kiss me!" He grabs a bottle of merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.

"What are you doing, Pierre?" asks the startled Marie.

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!" She smiles, and they start kissing.

Things began to heat up. Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower." He tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts.

"Pierre, what are you doing?" asks the bewildered Marie.

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!" They resume their passionate interlude. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me lower!"

Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of cognac and pours it in her lap. He strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river.

Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms up and screams furiously, "Pierre, what in the hell do you think you're doing?"

Pierre stands up defiantly and says, "I am Pierre the fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames

Ha ha ha, The fighter pilot is darn crazy.

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father.
He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.

Son of a gun! He he he

. . .And she said, "Pls this is not funny don't laugh ooo. Very soon women will pay men to suck their b[i]rea[/i]sts?"



BBC Homepage Top News Story

Doctors recommend that women reduce the risk of getting [i]brea[/i]st cancer by having their bosom sucked. It is said that regular sucking of the [i]bre[/i]ast lowers the risk level that tends to build up b[i]rea[/i]st cancer. The b[i]rea[/i]st must be sucked as often as possible, help women fight b[i]rea[/i]st cancer today.

Men please do your part, and suck a b[i]rea[/i]st now and woman please let your body free!

This message is from the ministry of Health IN THE FIGHT AGAINST B[i]REA[/i]ST CANCER



. . .And she said, "Please I honestly think we should comply. My humble submission. Help save a life today, please, suck a b[i]rea[/i]st today!!!"




My question: Won't MEN be sucking the virus causing the cancer from a b[i]rea[/i]st prone to or with cancer? What then happens to the sucker (MAN) when this happens? I am sure it would be cancer of the tongue/throat.
Anyway, men, save a life today by sucking a b[i]rea[/i]st and sacrificing your own life.

A female teacher who all the class addresses as madam was havin a problem with a boy in her class in 3rd grade. The boy said, "Madam, I should be in 4th grade, I'm smarter than my sister and she's in 4th grade". The Madam (teacher) had heard enough of the complain and took the boy to the principal's office. She explained everything to the principal who decided to test the boy with some questions that a 4th grade should know.

Principal: What is 3+3?
Boy: 6
Principal: 6+6?
Boy: 12

And so on, the principal asked the boy all questions which the boy got right. The principal then told the madam to send the boy to 4th grade. Madam decided to ask her questions and the principal agreed.

Madam: What does a cow have 4 of, that I have only 2?
Boy: Legs
Madam: What is in your pants that you have but I don't have?
Boy: Pockets
Madam: What starts with a C and ends with T, it's hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

The principal's eyes opened really wide but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge.

Boy: Bubble gum
Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent

The principal was looking restless.

Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
Boy: Wedding ring
Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow
Madam: What starts with 'F' and ends with a 'K' and if you don't get it, you'll have to use your hand?
Boy: Fork
Madam: What is it that all men have, it is longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?
Boy: Surname
Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumping and is responsible for making love?
Boy: Heart

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the madam "Send the boy to the university!"

lol nice one poster . . i rove it!!

Sledge keep em coming

1. F***ing once a week is good for your health but its harmless if done every day.
2. F***ing gives proper relaxation for your mind & body.
3. F***ing refreshes you.
4. After F***ing, don't eat too much go for more liquids. *beer*
5. Try to f*** in bed cause it can save you valuable energy.
6. F***ing can even reduce your cholestrol level.

So, FASTING is good 4 your health! God bless una DirtyClean minds!

i tink say na 4ckn

lol u gat me

LOL nelson same here

u get dirty mind . . , .

you too

lol na true sha

A man asks a trainer in the gym, "I want to impress that gorgeous girl, which machine can I use?" The trainer replied, "Use the ATM outside the gym." 

Junior: "Mummy do you know that our house girl is an angel?"
Mum: "why did you say that junior?"
Junior: "Because I saw her naked with her hands on the wall shouting oh God! I'm coming I'm coming I'm coming. If not for daddy that was holding her tight from behind she would have risen up to heaven."

Absolutely, absolutely cool jokes

you don single handedly start to revive the jokes section!!

Kudos to you sledge - I love 'em all

more! More!! MORE!!!

A trucker was driving his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill. Just as he was starting down the equally steep other side, he noticed a man and a woman lying in the center of the road, making wild and passionate love. In total disbelief, he blew his air horn several times as he was bearing down on them. He realized that they were not going to stop or get out of his way, so he slammed on his brakes and stopped.

He got out of the truck and walked to the front of the truck, looked down at the two, still on the road and yelled, "What the hell's the matter with you two? Didn't you hear me blowing the horn? You could have been killed!" Eventually, the man looked up at the truck driver, obviously satisfied and not too concerned and said, "Look, I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes."

When lil Johnny got to his classroom he looks inside and sees a new teacher instead of his regular teacher. Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is 'Ms. Prussy'. Not the other word, this word has an 'r' after the first letter.” Johnny laughed. An hour later he forgot her name and said, “Your name has an 'r' after the first letter -- is it Ms. Crunt?”

. . .And he says, "Naija chic sees my diamond studded condom. She exclaimed wt r u trying to do? Am Playing safe na. Babe: safe ko Safe ni, give me d condom n come in joo. See economic waste. My Phone rang #wasjstadream"