I can marry someone like my mum and i cannot. The matter is twist in the leg.

Of course na, a woman that will suffer and struggle to provide for the family, and put food on the table, while you sit down and not do anything, but still deserve respect abi? Nonsense [/quote]

U are talking in d rubbish

U are talking in d nonsense

U are talking bullshit


Pls let d admin in dis site need to block some people who did not suck there mother breast very well because we d nairaland people can not allow dis nonsense to continue


People like u can not stay in marriage

Because if u mange to marry ur duty is to causes trouble in ur home


Final year idiot with first class qualification of low sense count

membranus:


Thanks Bro.

Some people don't ever appreciate what their fathers contribute to their lives, as though they could ever be where they were without their fathers.

well i am a living witness that one can do without the input of a father , infact his presence was a set back to us at a time.

your mother behaves exactly like mine but I realized her wrongs earlier and stopped her from using me against my father. I wonder why women behaves this way, they usually put the blame on the bad habits of the man but the fact is that, they married not for love because if it was there, they will try love their husbands unconditionally.

Ladycewhy:
many Nigerian men are like that , toxic misogynists ,but my mum on the other hand , her name should have been Patience, being able to put up with such a man with an archaic orientation and outlook on life.

Maybe that's why they're perfect for each other.

Alero3Arubi:
When you age and start handling adult responsibilities, then you understand your parents more.
You begin to appreciate the sacrifices they made, the decisions they took, the lives they lived, the memories they could make for you.
With time you begin to become your parents too.
You make the same choices too.
Then you know what love means.
Sometimes too, you abandon everything they were and create a new path.
But in all your parents choices makes ypu who you eventually become.
Never forget where you came from. NEVER!

This doesn't even tally with what OP's saying

angelfallz:


Maybe that's why they're perfect for each other.

lol, it cost her too much though. I had to wonder to what end? Which is why I am not a fan of giving people too many chances,there are certain traits that are inbuilt .

Imagine wanting a typical Nigerian man with cultural belief of the 17th century with a bit of narcissistic triats to change. You will keep fasting and praying like a virtuous woman and hoping for the impossible.

Emaprince:
No wonder you women are too bitter towards men on Naira land.

It all makes sense now.

It's one of the easiest ways to know ladies that hate their fathers.
Ladies that have a good relationship with their fathers always respect men. But ladies with Daddy issues habour deep hatred for men, and should be avoided.

Ladycewhy:
of course if I was a guy I will definitely marry my mother over and over again ,that mother of mine, I dey gbadun her die, her tolerance level is out of this world, her second name should be meekness but my dad , never not in this life !

Maybe that's why they're perfect, your mum and dad I mean.

chiddyok:

My dear, my father is the most generous, caring, hot tempered man I’ve met. And with all his generosity I can’t marry someone like him.

Because of his temper?

angelfallz:


Maybe that's why they're perfect, your mum and dad I mean.

nah, I don't even wish for such a marriage for my enemy. She endured for as long as she should till we took her to safety. So they were never a perfect match, the poor woman was just bearing for the sake of society and religion.

angelfallz:


It's one of the easiest ways to know ladies that hate their fathers.
Ladies that have a good relationship with their fathers always respect men. But ladies with Daddy issues habour deep hatred for men, and should be avoided.

bla bla bla. How many ladies and even guys here will want their daughters to marry a man like their fathers? .


That should tell you that the men are the issue ,our mothers of old covered the nasty attitudes of these men. And let me just say this ,just because a marriage lasts doesn't mean it was healthy . Many marriages stood the test of time because our mothers had to compromise,not because the men were all that .

Yes my mother is guilty of most of the things the OP mentioned.. but I still love her tho.

adadike:
My dad, a strict disciplinarian , provides for most of our needs. A strong prayer warrior, physically strong , very hard-working . Can stand by you even when the world is against you. Love you Daddy but I honestly would love to marry someone like my mom. Gently, tall, great physique, very sweet, light skin and beautiful woman. Kind to a fault. See everyone as a member of her family. Eat in the same plate with her maids and helpers. Takes good care of them as well. No difference between outsider, maid or children. Everyone is the same to her irrespective of religion and tribe, loves and caters for all . Strong and hard-working, supports her husband, keeps my extended family together. Loved and took good care of my paternal grand mother when she was alive. My Super Woman, I don't know if I can ever be like you coz you are extraordinary but I want to marry a man that near these qualities. God bless you mom

From your Profile Picture... it's obvious you aren't from a prayer warrior home��

If only I was created in the 70s 80s so I could get a good woman (wife) to marry and live happy everly after and not this generational hoes we have as women now parading themselves.

I repeat never settle for a Nigerian woman, for its better to cry in Dubai, London, Canada, japan with a white lady in a house filled with air conditioning and fruits and food than with any Nigerian woman.

Acmepreneur:
My mom yes, my dad nope
Till today, I'm yet to see a woman as good spirited like my mother, I do compare her with other women,but I've not seen anyone like my mother.
My mum loves us so much, she has patience like no other, takes care of my dad, she will even buy my dad cloths, she will cook good foods for him and us, my mum would serve herself last, my dad first and us, many times my mum won't eat fish because of my dad and us, she would say, if she eat it, what will my dad and US eat tomorrow.
My mum would take care of her in-law (my uncle) when they come visit, my dad that is the owner of visitor would say my uncle should manage one useless soup like that,but promise him he would eat heaven and earth on phone call but would refuse to drop 1kobo, but my mum would go to the market, buy everything for soup, pound pounded yam for him. When my cousins visit, she would do same. When they had accident, my mum took them in for a year and did lots of care. They all love my mum, especially my cousins, they come to our house to do any small holiday.
But if my maternal aunts or relatives should come, my dad would intentionally leave the house and won't drop 1kobo. Before I never knew why my maternal aunt dislike my dad until I grew up, I bet my sister not try that shit with me, I will hate her together with her useless husband.
Conclusion
I will treat your people exactly how you treat my people, treat them like thrashes, in fact, I would travel whenever they said they want to visit or lie that I am sick. Thats one of the thing I hate most about my mother, she no dey do TIT for TAT for people


My mum is extremely intelligent, very good in mathematics, with her friends, shes always wanting them to grow, but due to envy, shes usually hated and later loved so so much by thesame people that once did her wrong. In the street, the teenagers are usually are friend, and they would trust her more than they trust their parents during the adolescent age. My mum is also very forgiving, too merciful and emotional.
Conclusion
I'm no way like her, I forgive but van never forget especially if you intentionally plan and do me bad, I will not hate you nor like you either, and we no go dey greet forever, until we meet in heaven

My mum was loved by her mother in-laws and before she died, she prayed so much for her because my mum really took good care of her She takes completely after her mother, my grandmother, my grandmother was an illiterates but a business woman, she would feed her husband, feed her junior wive and all her children, my grandmother would even take food to give to my paternal grandmother. My grandmother died 15years ago and my mum still cry whenever she remember her mother.

But with all these, I can never and will never be like my mother nor my grandmother in all parts, God did not make women to carry heavy responsibilities
My dad is a good person, but my mother completely spoilt him that he doesn't know his responsibilities, he won't pity her and tell her she should stop using her money for the house, my mum bought the highest thing in the house, my dad used his own money as a philanthropist and he doesn't even know how to manage or price things, he can buy something worth of #5000 for #10,000 outside, but can not give my mother #500. He would give her 2k for soup, my mum would buy something worth 6k, and my dad go still chop the biggest part of it. My mum eats very little food
Conclusion
As for me, i will be the first to serve myself, and even put 3fishes under my rice, cover it with soup, then add another fish on top the rice if its my money that is the highest in the soup

There are so many things I don't like about my dad, but he doesn't maltreat us, just that he doesn't plan for us. If my dad just received salary and you ask him, he will give you anything, but if you don't ask him, you will not collect 1kobo, and in the next two weeks, the money would have finished. Meanwhile, my mother would have planned how she would give you money this month, next month, infact for the year. Whether you ask my mum or not, she has already set aside money for you, you don't have to explain to my mum that you need so and so, she already knows and would plan it for you, but my dad, you will need to explain and re explain. And my dad's salary is almost double that of my mum.
My mums property is much more than my dad

If my mum advice my dad, and his friends or relatives say something else, my dad would agree with those ones, and afterwards he would be ashamed to tell my mum that he changed the plan, and he would later use style to beg my mum and ask for another advice

If my mother had married someone like herself, they would have grown so much together, and we the children would be in extremely high places today. I can be friends with someone like my dad, but not marry someone like him.


Truth be told, my mums IQ is extremely higher than that of my dad, so I understand him, and my dad never stayed with his parents, he was made to live with several people for no reason than to suffer because his parents believe that you need to suffer in life to be successful. Whereas, my grandmother was a disciplinarian, and she gave my mum and my aunt, the best of trainings. And my mum's dad was very good to her while she was growing up, and she used to tell me how her dad loved her while she was a child and growing up until she married my dad that her dad did not approve of.
Conclusion
My mum over suffered with my dad when we were extremely wretched (beyond poor), I can not suffer with anyone in my life, its either you suffer your own suffer alone and I suffer my own suffer alone, but to suffer together, its not possible.
If I were my mum, I would have divorced my dad a long time ago, not because he's poor, but because of his lackadaisical attitudes especially when he told my mum that he doesn't buy children things(new baby's stuffs).
My dad is extremely hardworking and would choose him as a father always, at least his 100% better than many of his mates, but his association with my mother is a parasitic relationship

My mum's IQ is 22 points higher than my dad's. Both are of them are extremely intelligent but my mum's the certified genius. And luckily for me, I took after mum's. My IQs actually 15 points higher than hers.

My mum has often said, my dad's among the best man she dated because he understood her and he never felt threatened or emasculated by her intelligence.

I think the intelligence gap between your dad and mum may have contributed to your dad's behavior. It is possible that they couldn't find a common ground on so many things or they didn't share the same values and this made your dad resent your mum to the point of him behaving in ways that may not be healthy for your mum. It could have also contributed to his clingyness.

If i fel to be a gud father i wount blame my parent,it wil be a shame nd ful disappointment because dy ar such an envious couple,role model to al.
Wish i can replicate as my dadd did.
Am nt sayin dis because dy ar pastors NO bt because even wen i was a kid i notice a lovin,carin parents who touch life in d church,community nd any body dy associate wit.

Nooil:
All I know is my mum was and is still a lucky woman. It's because of her I believe it's only God that can give you a man not all these she-males around.

I say the same for my dad, the luckiest man to ever live(RIP dad)...how he snagged a woman like my mum...that's his greatest blessing from God...I will marry a woman half as good and productive like my mum..and if I were a woman..I will marry a man like my dad...he made me realise that honesty, integrity and knowledge superceeds money..a husband and a father without rival.

Sometimes I wonder and pity people who grew up hating either of their parents, I could never truly understand what it means for such children because I grew up in a healthy loving family and was provided with all my needs(and wants)...it is well....

elektra:
There was a thread like this one long ago.

Most men wished to marry women like their mothers
Most females hated the thought of marrying someone like their fathers

AND ?

Ladycewhy:
bla bla bla. How many ladies and even guys here will want their daughters to marry a man like their fathers? .


That should tell you that the men are the issue ,our mothers of old covered the nasty attitudes of these men. And let me just say this ,just because a marriage lasts doesn't mean it was healthy . Many marriages stood the test of time because our mothers had to compromise,not because the men were all that .

It's a method that I use when seeking for relationships.
I have nothing against you personally. But once I realise that you have a bad relationship with your dad I steer clear of you.
I also realised from my own relationship and the relationship of others that, girls that have a good relationship with their fathers are the best to be in a relationship with.
Whereas girls that have a bad relationship with their fathers are the worst to be in a relationship with.

I can marry someone like my mum. This is because my mum is spiritual and hardworking. Though I'm married but my wife doesn't posses much of those qualities.

Alero3Arubi:
When you age and start handling adult responsibilities, then you understand your parents more.
You begin to appreciate the sacrifices they made, the decisions they took, the lives they lived, the memories they could make for you.
With time you begin to become your parents too.
You make the same choices too.
Then you know what love means.
Sometimes too, you abandon everything they were and create a new path.
But in all your parents choices makes ypu who you eventually become.
Never forget where you came from. NEVER!

When you have somebody like my mum, you won't be talking like that. It's not a crime to share the plight one is facing against yhem

Ladycewhy:
many Nigerian men are like that , toxic misogynists ,but my mum on the other hand , her name should have been Patience, being able to put up with such a man with an archaic orientation and outlook on life.

your father can be anything , bt saying many nigerian men are like that is very wrong . My dad , my uncle and my mum are the best things i ever noticed in life. maybe its biological in ur home, thats why u generized it . so sorry

God forbid I marry someone like my mom. And I doubt if my sisters would like to marry someone like dad.

You just spoke exactly what I am going through the hands of my mother. When I lost my job and relocated back home, I prefer being with the devil than living with her because she made life unbearable for me since I am now pennyless

Ramos16:


Stupid comments like this is what I hate about this forum, if you cannot tolerate another persons opinion about their own parent then park well and don't read the story. Shish, what kind of slow people do we have on this forum.

The guy is right though. When you see women that have deep hatred for men, and there are many in this forum, it is because they have a bad relationship with their fathers.
Women that have good relationships with their fathers don't habour that kind of hatred.

Akuruoulo:
your father can be anything , bt saying many nigerian men are like that is very wrong . My dad , my uncle and my mum are the best things i ever noticed in life. maybe its biological in ur home, thats why u generized it . so sorry

I said Many because from my neighbors to church members ,to even colleagues, its like a pandemic if men without sense of responsibility everywhere I turn.

Omobada:
Y

Congrats sister, it's not always possible to have both nearly perfect parents. Pls, try to emulate them especially your mum. I pray you marry a man who surpasses your dad's goodness.

thanks dear. Amen and God bless you

angelfallz:


Because of his temper?

Yes ooo. But I’ve not found anyone generous like him so I’m just on my own. My mom says God will bring someone as generous as he is but with her temper. Amen.

mikeybrainy:
For me I wouldn't try it, I can never marry someone like my mom. If I try that I would end up in an asylum.

She is a good mother, though not perfect (nobody is).

Some of my reasons are:

Nagging (like the neigbours can narrate everything happening in our house if asked to)
Involving strangers in family issues (like she says everything)

She can't ever take the blame for anything (blames everyone for her woes, and she is never wrong)

She wants to collect back every single penny she spends in the house (which is impossible)
Incites the children against their father (never realized this until I grew up and started thinking like a man, and honestly I'm sorry for all the ways I have acted to my dad, though my own is still fair, my siblings have complete disregard for their father)

Other things too that I can't mention here (makes me feel ashamed.

I realized all these when I started looking at everything from the lens of a struggling husband and father, and I'm still contemplating if marriage is worth it after all, I might as well stay single.... (I only date and break up with girls in my mind, Lol) cos I don't think its worth all the stress. Growing up in a broken, dysfunctional home is hard (sighs).

I wouldn't put all the blame on my Mom but I have resolved not to imbibe my dad's bad habits too (I can't even drink 1% alcohol not because I can't or it's bad, but I run away from it when I think of the things dad would have achieved, if he were not addicted to it)

Sorry for the long post.

Can you marry someone like your mom/dad?

Opinions

I respect women but to be honest with you, women are same everywer. Both the old and young women are same bro. Some just good in pretending while some can’t.

I grew up in abusive home too. My dad used to beat my mum. But to be honest, my dad was a very gentle man and easy going but my mum always look for his trouble. It’s got to a stage dah my mum start portraying my dad has d bad one to us. Fear women. My dad is hard working. He will go out to work in other for us to eat while my mum was full house wife. Women are just naturally greedy, garrulous and devilish.

I realized all my mistakes late. My dad had gone to rest when I realized all my mistakes. Please don’t follow ur mum’ advise, take care of your dad.

RIP dad. I miss you

angelfallz:


It's a method that I use when seeking for relationships.
I have nothing against you personally. But once I realise that you have a bad relationship with your dad I steer clear of you.
I also realised from my own relationship and the relationship of others that, girls that have a good relationship with their fathers are the best to be in a relationship with.
Whereas girls that have a bad relationship with their fathers are the worst to be in a relationship with.

Girls with toxic fathers are woke,their intuition is highly alerted, they can see through bullshit and smell a man that will pose a problem from afar. Girls like this are not the ones to be naive or cowed by any man,they see the ending of the bullshit from the beginning and are usually courageous to walk away. Maybe that's what scares you cos women like that are quick to stop bullshit before it even takes off .