Although this is a counter thread, but it attempts to address some salient issues and trends that I diligently observed which have implications on real human lives out there. I saw a thread today where a guy said her girlfriend/fiancee asked him to marry her within a stipulated time or she will end the relationship (which topic is subtly becoming a trend these days and so let us address it). Guys began to say dump her and all sorts of things.

Let me make one or two things clear here. It is not everything that we begin to trivialize or become sentimental about. Also, it is not all the time that we will start to jugde from the angle of simps/beta males/weaklings and what have you. In all fairness, 'sometimes' let us put ourselves in the shoes of other human beings around us and see things from their angle too (male or female, fiance or fiancee, parents or business associates). In this particular case, put yourselves in the shoes of a woman who knows that age is not on her side, whose parents are disturbing her to bring that guy home, but she is with you and you seem not to talk of marriage. To cap it all, she has other suitors asking her to marry them (some of those suitors are doing better than you, her boyfriend, but she does not like them as you).

Secondly, you guys need to understand one thing and it is the fact that, the earlier a woman starts childbearing the better she stands the chance of safe delivery. Ask any medical professional around you, older women are more liable to childbearing complications, ask around I repeat. What of menopause? Now you see it is not a mere statement, but a reality and an important issue of life when they say the "biological clock of women are ticking", and yes they should feel concerned, would you not?

So let us be fair, just, and be reasonable please. So marry her if you love her, that does not make you a simp. Do not even wait till she gives you ultimatum, be kind, her time is going.

N.B. There are some women who will not even give you any ultimatum, once her woman instinct tells her you want to waste her time, she will marry someone else and you will see her wedding card through a third party. If she goes to marry someone else without your knowledge it is the same you that will say women are wicked. Think about all these. I have made my humble opinion known, and that's fine with me. Thank you for reading.

On a lighter note: One scholar said and I quote, "the Internet doesn't know you are a dog. So you should understand the fact that there are JSS 1, 2 and 3 students on Nairaland too. Some are even in primary 5. . So when you bring your life issues to nairaland, be guided by this fact. This is not to rule out the possibility of getting a useful advice on this forum, but you have to be careful in discerning and separating the useful ones from the not so useful ones.
Link to the previous thread: https://www.nairaland.com/5932549/girlfriend-threatened-break-up-dont#90769463

you seem not to understand his plight..he obviously loves the lady but he knows that it takes more than love to sustain a marriage.... Marriage should not be rushed..I will advise him to persuade the girl to give him a year to get his acts together and they should also keep the pregnancy

The girl in question is pregnant and has done several abortions for the guy.

Our immoral world has made things so complicated and we will all get so entangled in the web that we have spun by ourselves.

Don't fornicate, they won't agree.

sladimeji:
you seem not to understand his plight..he obviously loves the lady but he knows that it takes more than love to sustain a marriage.... Marriage should not be rushed..I will advise him to persuade the girl to give him a year to get his acts together and they should also keep the pregnancy

While this is a counter thread, it serves to also address salient issues that are fast becoming a trend on nairaland, so look beyond this thread as a response to the thread in question. It addresses the trend that is becoming noticeable of recent.

Romanoff:
The girl in question is pregnant and has done several abortions for the guy.

Our immoral world has made things so complicated and we will all get so entangled in the web that we have spun by ourselves.

Don't fornicate, they won't agree.

Tell them. Ladies are supposed to be wiser, guys barely have something to lose. How many times do you want to hear that. But no, the society is not fair on us women. That is how you were created, accept it by being very careful.

Bravo! One extremism always births another. Misogyny birthed feminism and feminism birthed MTGOW/redpillers. All are enemies of the family unit, and if the family unit is wrong the society will inevitably go wrong.
This generation seems to have devolved in to this "me vs you" mindset and the smallest of differences is enough to cause major disregard for anything other than you.
What you have said is 100% true. But how do you explain this to a group of people who do not believe in gender roles, Heck! They do not believe in gender (it's a social construct they say).
Sometimes, when I read what people say online I feel completely alienated and I have realized there are quite a lot of people like me. But the truth has become such a shameful thing to say and falsehood thrives.

Well one salient point that pops up at me is simply this: the older ladies get the more the inherent difficulty in child bearing.


This sad fact cannot be trivialized. Guys want to screw but cower in the face of marriage and it's attendant responsibilities. Yes, been there, done that, so I am in position to attest to the fact that sampling ladies is a pleasurable adventure but can you build houses by pulling down the pants of ladies? The answer is no. Discipline is the magic and operative word here.


Yes, screw, plunder and catch your fun but at the end of the end, it still boils down to discipline. There was a book we used in the school back in the day that goes by the title: the beautiful ones are not yet born. My dear, between you and I, the caliber of girls that is churned out of the baby factory is darn beautiful, one has one redirect ones libido else where


The beautiful thing, is that having your kids early is awesome. And the sad thing you find out is that the zeal for life dies as one gets older. Things one once enjoyed loses its allure. Food, sex, even money loses that luster.



So do what you have to do. Enjoy your youth but be guided by wisdom.

His 'love' is quite questionable though. For all I know abortions are risky, much more 3-4 times. You wouldn't do that to someone you love. I love you I love u till the mumu boy damage her womb.
The girl needs reassurances.Keeping the baby is one. If he's too broke to marry now, let him be a baby daddy till things get much better.

Romanoff:

sister G.o .How body

Omoluabi16:
His 'love' is quite questionable though. For all I know abortions are risky, much more 3-4 times. You wouldn't do that to someone you love. I love you I love u till the mumu boy damage her womb.
The girl needs reassurances.Keeping the baby is one. If he's too broke to marry now, let him be a baby daddy till things get much better.

Let us even take it beyond the previous thread, and look at the salient issues raised in this thread which is fast becoming a trend I.e. I can't be rushed into marrying a woman. The issue is, she has other suitors and her time is going. Can we beam our light on this argument?

professore:
Although this is a counter thread, but it attempts to address some salient issues and trends that I diligently observed which have implications on real human lives out there. I saw a thread today where a guy said her girlfriend (or fiancee now) asked him to marry her within a stipulated time or she will end the relationship. Guys began to say dump her and all sorts of things.

To cap it all, she has other suitors asking hery to marry them (some of those suitors are doing better than you, her boyfriend, but she does not like them as you

Louder please.
If only they know how ladies turn down many other men because of LOVE and loyalty. Men should stop being selfish please.

[quote author=simplepee post=90780876] Louder please.
If only they know how ladies turn down many other men because of LOVE and loyalty. Men should stop being selfish please.
Sometimes, we need to open people's eyes, so that they can see what they are not seeing, and realize what they fail to realize. Simple.

Louder please.
If only they know how ladies turn down many other men because of LOVE and loyalty. Men should stop being selfish please.
Sometimes, we need to open people's eyes, so that they can see what they are not seeing, and realize what they fail to realize. Simple.

simplepee:
Louder please.
If only they know how ladies turn down many other men because of LOVE and loyalty. Men should stop being selfish please.

comot jor.. not true.. you ladies are gold diggers

Olawrites:



comot jor.. not true.. you ladies are gold diggers

Change your categories of babes.

Olawrites:



comot jor.. not true.. you ladies are gold diggers

This thread does not claim ignorance of the fact that some girls are opportunistic too, and they do so in the most heartbreaking way, trust me I know. But the issue is that not all of them are like that. In essence, let us try to see some other 'genuine' grounds why they do the things they do, yes sometimes there are genuine reasons. So before you start saying, I will strike back, think on the issues raised in this thread.

simplepee:
Change your categories of babes.

my money is our money, her money is her own money..lols


You all are the same..so far you're a Nigerian woman

Olawrites:


my money is our money, her money is her own money..lols


You all are the same..so far you're a Nigerian woman

Ok.

Tadeknkeepcalm:
Bravo! One extremism always births another. Misogyny birthed feminism and feminism birthed MTGOW/redpillers. All are enemies of the family unit, and if the family unit is wrong the society will inevitably go wrong.
This generation seems to have devolved in to this "me vs you" mindset and the smallest of differences is enough to cause major disregard for anything other than you.
What you have said is 100% true. But how do you explain this to a group of people who do not believe in gender roles, Heck! They do not believe in gender (it's a social construct they say).
Sometimes, when I read what people say online I feel completely alienated and I have realized there are quite a lot of people like me. But the truth has become such a shameful thing to say and falsehood thrives.

God bless you sir. Wonderful contribution. It is easy to know that this didn't come from a secondary school student . This is a real life issue, the family is the building block of the society which we should not fold our hands and watch it fail persistently. As if to say, you knew my deepest motivation for this thread.

simplepee:
Louder please.
If only they know how ladies turn down many other men because of LOVE and loyalty. Men should stop being selfish please.

Well I understand you, but the thing is that, this country is making it hard for young men to become financially stable. Even if as a young man, you decide to take the risk of getting married when you are not really financially buoyant, the cost of the wedding alone will scare you off...

Hmmm

Samzzy94:


Well I understand you, but the thing is that, this country is making it hard for young men to become financially stable. Even if as a young man, you decide to take the risk of getting married when you are not really financially buoyant, the cost of the wedding alone will scare you off...

Which religion/legal system says a wedding most be elaborate? Have you not heard that wedding is just a day and marriage is forever, which we should prepare for instead of preparing for that one day ceremony called wedding. Cut your coat according to your cloth. Simple.
More so this is not even the central argument of this thread, but it good it came up too.

professore:

Which religion/legal system says a wedding most be elaborate? Have you not heard that wedding is just a day and marriage is forever, which we should prepare for instead of preparing for that one day ceremony called wedding. Cut your coat according to your cloth. Simple.
More so this is not even the central argument of this thread, but it good it came up too.

Haven't you seen where the groom is told to bring ridiculous amount of money as bride price??...Even the Lady cannot do anything about it, they would tell you it is the tradition and it must be done.

Samzzy94:


Well I understand you, but the thing is that, this country is making it hard for young men to become financially stable. Even if as a young man, you decide to take the risk of getting married when you are not really financially buoyant, the cost of the wedding alone will scare you off...

Just avoid slay queens and Nigeria feminists then you are good.

Samzzy94:



Haven't you seen where the groom is told to bring ridiculous amount of money as bride price??...Even the Lady cannot do anything about it, they would tell you it is the tradition and it must be done.

So anybody use rope to tie the man to do such? Abi it is only their daughter(s) you must love/marry?

marriage or no marriage, they will surely pay for murdering innocent kids someday.


if you can't stop fornicating, please use protection