Why don't women like revealing their age?

I think because we live in a culture and society that values youth more than age, more so in women. A female goes through at least three distinct stages in her life, that of a child, a maiden, and matron. The peak in a woman's life if typically the maiden period in that they are young but considered women. It is like that sweet spot where they have that youth and beauty that men desire, and therefore men value women in this period more.

When she was a child she lived underneath her father's household, as a matron she is under her husbands care, but as a maiden she in theory has at least some control over where she goes after that.

When a woman is in that maiden phase, it is relatively short in relation to the rest of her life. Like ten years at best? And inevitably the woman will age out of this maiden period, and then more assumptions and expectations are piled on.

After the maiden age range, a woman is expected to be a mother and to be ferrying kids to soccer practice, and needs to get home to cook the meal for her family, people stop viewing her in the context of an individual but in the context of a family.

And I can imagine having people hearing your age, and automatically placing you in this context can be frustrating. Assuming that you are married, but if you aren't that you want to get married desperately, that you have kids, but if you don't, you want them desperately.

I read a critique of statistics of how hard it is for women to get married. Pretty much a lot of single fear mongering goes something like this: "It is harder to find a partner for A demographic, X% of A women are unmarried at the age of Y!". However, they never factored in the possibility that they were women who didn't want to get married at all. If I am 35 and single, it isn't because I "couldn't find a man", it is because I didn't want to get married. But people would automatically put me in the pitiful box, and that I must have tried really hard to get married only to fail.

But because of age there are so many assumptions are piled on a woman. So as a way to circumvent it a bit, women might lie about their age.

I don't have anything to say.. In short jmtjmtgatgajmtjtgamtjmt

When I was younger, I used to tell myself I wasn't gonna be the type of person who lied about my age. But you know what? I've done it a few times, and more than a few times I've implied that I was younger than I am.

The times I've outright lied about it were on dating websites, for the reason the Anon gay man mentioned. I believe the first time I joined a dating website, I was around 19, and I believe I told the truth that time. But the second time I tried it, I was over 25, and was advised to put my age down as less than 22 because many people's search criteria stop at that number.

Didn't believe it, but when I experimented with age 39 vs. 40, I probably got about 10 times the attention (winks, emails etc.). No fooling. The hits I did get as a 40-year-old tended to be guys in their 50s and 60s. As a 19-year-old, I got many more hits from guys around my age, which I what I wanted.

Ok, that's dating. But I've also implied a younger age in professional and social settings. I work in advertising, and it seems like a lot of it is aimed at younger people (age 18 to 25 seems to be the most common demographic). I worry that people (potential clients, especially) may feel that I cannot relate to younger people, or that I am not up on the latest music, art, pop culture etc. that is basically required for someone in my profession.

I am also one of the oldest people, by far, in my social circle. Off the top of my head, my closest pals are 24, 22, 23 (three of them) and 25. Thank god my BF is my age (he's actually a year older, LOL); I also am close to my siblings (ages 24 and 21 (twins). I'm xyrs, BTW. Did I forget to mention this? Anyway, my buddies know how old I am, but they do say they think of me as younger, and I must admit I encourage this perception. And being unmarried and childless helps in this perception; my life experience is closer to theirs in a lot of ways.

I do play the "age card" sometimes, but it's not something I necessarily brag about. I suppose vanity has a part in it, but it's a small part. For me, it's more about fitting in, socially and professionally.

The fear of being referred to as evening newspaper..

I'm going to answer for myself, personally. It has to do with two factors, 1) why don't women like revealing their age and 2) why don't people like revealing their age.

1) For many people, everything changes when you know a woman's age. How you judge her appearance, assess her career accomplishments, look at her personal life. It gives you a yardstick to measure someone against. It happens to men, too but not as intensely.

The most common comment I hear in the circles I travel in now after someone finds out a woman's age are


-"She doesn't look her age" {Sounds like a compliment but means, "I didn't know she was THAT old!" Can also mean "I think she's had botox"}

-"She doesn't look too bad for her age" {Eh, at that age, you shouldn't expect much}

-"Her age really shows" (Means, "I kind of guessed she was that old, but I didn't quite believe it. She should have botox."}

This phenomenon is particularly acute for women after 35 years of age because that is when you become keenly aware of your body changing in small and irritating ways that you have little control over. But that's another question.

2) The world is divided into those who are older than you and those who are younger than you. Those who are older, God bless them, are usually polite and look with fondness at the years when they were your age.

On the other hand, those who are younger frequently have not accepted the fact that they, too, are getting older. Finding a gray hair is the end of the world. It's like they think they can freeze their life at 27 years.

They frequently distance themselves from people 10-20 years older (between their age and their parents), I think because they represents domesticity, settling down, maybe compromising with your career because, damn it, real life often interrupts our plans. Unlike previous generations who eagerly embraced adulthood, many Gen Xers, Gen Yers and Millennials seem to, somehow, think they will be spared, everything in their life plan will work out but due to the miracle of science, their minds and bodies will not experience aging.

It is very painful for me to listen to 20something describe someone as young as 35 in disparaging terms because of their age. It shows a naiveté and insensitivity that is remarkable in people I find smart in so many other ways. I wish I could tell them, "You, too, will become your parents."

Pascopele:
Why don't women like revealing their age?

Your title is wrong. It should be "why women don't always like to reveal their real age" Or better still "why women don't always like to tell their true age?"

doggedfighter:
The fear of being referred to as evening newspaper..

But na evening newspaper dey carry breaking news pass na, don't you know?

Pascopele:
Why don't women like revealing their age?

because she's not completely free with you yet. Still has her guard up here and there. When a woman becomes completely free with you, there's nothing she can't tell you at that point. I mean true stuff, not lies. She will even tell you her real body count, and how many guys have been disturbing her, how she snubbed them, and how her day went and the stress she faced. She will turn you to her personal truth diary. Na you go tire for her gists and revelations

QuinModah:
When I was younger, I used to tell myself I wasn't gonna be the type of person who lied about my age. But you know what? I've done it a few times, and more than a few times I've implied that I was younger than I am.

The times I've outright lied about it were on dating websites, for the reason the Anon gay man mentioned. I believe the first time I joined a dating website, I was around 19, and I believe I told the truth that time. But the second time I tried it, I was over 25, and was advised to put my age down as less than 22 because many people's search criteria stop at that number.

Didn't believe it, but when I experimented with age 39 vs. 40, I probably got about 10 times the attention (winks, emails etc.). No fooling. The hits I did get as a 40-year-old tended to be guys in their 50s and 60s. As a 19-year-old, I got many more hits from guys around my age, which I what I wanted.

Ok, that's dating. But I've also implied a younger age in professional and social settings. I work in advertising, and it seems like a lot of it is aimed at younger people (age 18 to 25 seems to be the most common demographic). I worry that people (potential clients, especially) may feel that I cannot relate to younger people, or that I am not up on the latest music, art, pop culture etc. that is basically required for someone in my profession.

I am also one of the oldest people, by far, in my social circle. Off the top of my head, my closest pals are 24, 22, 23 (three of them) and 25. Thank god my BF is my age (he's actually a year older, LOL); I also am close to my siblings (ages 24 and 21 (twins). I'm xyrs, BTW. Did I forget to mention this? Anyway, my buddies know how old I am, but they do say they think of me as younger, and I must admit I encourage this perception. And being unmarried and childless helps in this perception; my life experience is closer to theirs in a lot of ways.

I do play the "age card" sometimes, but it's not something I necessarily brag about. I suppose vanity has a part in it, but it's a small part. For me, it's more about fitting in, socially and professionally.

Well captured

OBelz:
I'm going to answer for myself, personally. It has to do with two factors, 1) why don't women like revealing their age and 2) why don't people like revealing their age.

1) For many people, everything changes when you know a woman's age. How you judge her appearance, assess her career accomplishments, look at her personal life. It gives you a yardstick to measure someone against. It happens to men, too but not as intensely.

The most common comment I hear in the circles I travel in now after someone finds out a woman's age are


-"She doesn't look her age" {Sounds like a compliment but means, "I didn't know she was THAT old!" Can also mean "I think she's had botox"}

-"She doesn't look too bad for her age" {Eh, at that age, you shouldn't expect much}

-"Her age really shows" (Means, "I kind of guessed she was that old, but I didn't quite believe it. She should have botox."}

This phenomenon is particularly acute for women after 35 years of age because that is when you become keenly aware of your body changing in small and irritating ways that you have little control over. But that's another question.

2) The world is divided into those who are older than you and those who are younger than you. Those who are older, God bless them, are usually polite and look with fondness at the years when they were your age.

On the other hand, those who are younger frequently have not accepted the fact that they, too, are getting older. Finding a gray hair is the end of the world. It's like they think they can freeze their life at 27 years.

They frequently distance themselves from people 10-20 years older (between their age and their parents), I think because they represents domesticity, settling down, maybe compromising with your career because, damn it, real life often interrupts our plans. Unlike previous generations who eagerly embraced adulthood, many Gen Xers, Gen Yers and Millennials seem to, somehow, think they will be spared, everything in their life plan will work out but due to the miracle of science, their minds and bodies will not experience aging.

It is very painful for me to listen to 20something describe someone as young as 35 in disparaging terms because of their age. It shows a naiveté and insensitivity that is remarkable in people I find smart in so many other ways. I wish I could tell them, "You, too, will become your parents."

Fantastic

Openbusiness3:
because she's not completely free with you yet. Still has her guard up here and there. When a woman becomes completely free with you, there's nothing she can't tell you at that point. I mean true stuff, not lies. She will even tell you her real body count, and how many guys have been disturbing her, how she snubbed them, and how her day went and the stress she faxed. She will turn you to her personal truth diary. Na you go tire for her gists and revelations

Yes but that's not completely true. A woman could tell you all that, in order to wrap you in her arms.

I read somewhere that when it comes to matters of age, women tend to lie downwards while men tend to lie upwards.

Crownstar01:
Yes but that's not completely true. A woman could tell you all that, in order to wrap you in her arms.

my head is big oh, she can't wrap it complete

Openbusiness3:
But na evening newspaper dey carry breaking news pass na, don't you know?

If only those that deride and demean them know this.

It’s because of the assumptions and judgments people make.

As one user stated in this thread, it gives people a “yardstick” to measure your entire life by in terms of appearance, behavior, and accomplishments.

As a man, I have been guilty of casting judgement on a woman because of her age. For example: “she’s 33 and single yet she says she wants to have kids? She better stop being picky and settle down and start trying before she becomes infertilite”. A lot of it is rooted in biology but it disregards her own experiences in life that caused her to be where she is.

I’ve also judged people’s behavior by their age too. For example: “he’s 39 years old and still goes to the club every weekend? I’m only 25 and I’m already tired of the club!”

A lot of people in general tend to be ashamed of their age because they aren’t where they thought they would be in life. I can imagine it being a bit embarrassing for a 35 year old to be working in a position mostly filled by 22 year-old recent grads. They’re boss might even be a decade younger than them! So they would rather keep their age under wraps to avoid any eyebrow raising.

But at the end of the day, it shouldn’t matter. Aging is inevitable so there is no reason to hide it.

Our society worships youth and beauty. This is true for both sexes, but much more for women. In countless Hollywood movies, male stars are considered “distinguished” as they age, and are paired romantically with women young enough to be their daughters or even granddaughters. But women past the age of about 40 begin to be treated like they don’t exist. Especially for women who have always been valued primarily for their looks, it is not too surprising that they might try to hide their real age.

Lately, especially on television, older women have become much more prominent — no doubt because advertisers are at long last realizing how great the purchasing power of women is. Ideally, as this trend advances, and as women become more visible in other arenas, such as governance and business, it will become less important how old (or young) they are.

That’s the dream, anyway.

Women don't like to be judged by superficial and external qualities. It is limiting and belittling. There's no respect for the ageless wisdom each of us can lay claim to and enjoy.

It is my belief that we 'are' every age we ever were. So being considered any particular age limits our ability to 'be' ourselves in any moment.

I watched Jungle Jim starring Johnny Weissmuller in black and white one recent Saturday. I felt as if I were 8 years old again -- the entire movie was a time tripping experience. Now I learned a dear friend just died and I am feeling every moment of my life with him in it -- and feeling my own age.

We don't want to be limited by anyone's biased perception of what we look like. Our lives are too rich and valuable to be so trivialized.

For some women, age means different things. For people that worry what age they are, also worry they are seriously judged by their age. To maintain a certain appeal, they might hide their age in favor of a more appealing age.

Women are not the only ones that don’t always disclose their true age. Many men will give a false age also. They fear judgment or they desire a certain judgment (in their favor).

We might also look at things a little differently… perhaps we ask ourselves why we would ask someone their age? Is it really important? Aren’t we comparing ages? These are good questions to ask ourselves.

Hope this helps and take best of care!

Openbusiness3:
because she's not completely free with you yet. Still has her guard up here and there. When a woman becomes completely free with you, there's nothing she can't tell you at that point. I mean true stuff, not lies. She will even tell you her real body count, and how many guys have been disturbing her, how she snubbed them, and how her day went and the stress she faced. She will turn you to her personal truth diary. Na you go tire for her gists and revelations

Make Lewandoski sha win Ballon d'or this year.

Op why you dey talk like this now
Once you see a girl face you'll already know her age
All the women wey I don wow you understand for my life when I get to know their age is either I help them add one year to it or deduct I year away I will sha be at the close point of their age women's age is not hard to guess
It is we men age that is hard to know cause you'll see some beard guys you'll think they're elderly not until when they talk you will know that this one Na small boy so when they're silent you will have to give them the respect of that beard

Openbusiness3:
my head is big oh, she can't wrap it complete

She's already done that.

Crownstar01:
Your title is wrong. It should be "why do women don't always like to reveal their real age" Or better still "why do women don't always like to tell their true age?"

I even prefer how the OP construct the question. Its straight forward and precise.

You are the one conflicting it with your corrections.

lagusboyyy:
I even prefer how the OP construct the question. Its straight forward and precise.

You are the one conflicting it with your corrections.

No, boy. True age or real age should be added to it.

You need to learn standard English, so that when you speak with native speakers, they will totally understand you.

the truth is that women instinctively and primordially know that their most valuable asset they have to offer is youth, beauty and fertility...all others things like intelligence, care are important but not as important to men, women gain value from men period, men value youth beauty and fertility. so women downplay their age to appeal to more attractive high value men.

Very sensible comments on this thread with the exception of the Crownstar01 . I had to confirm if we're still on Romance section.

IyaTola:
Our society worships youth and beauty. This is true for both sexes, but much more for women. In countless Hollywood movies, male stars are considered “distinguished” as they age, and are paired romantically with women young enough to be their daughters or even granddaughters. But women past the age of about 40 begin to be treated like they don’t exist. Especially for women who have always been valued primarily for their looks, it is not too surprising that they might try to hide their real age.

Lately, especially on television, older women have become much more prominent — no doubt because advertisers are at long last realizing how great the purchasing power of women is. Ideally, as this trend advances, and as women become more visible in other arenas, such as governance and business, it will become less important how old (or young) they are.

That’s the dream, anyway.

this will never happen except biology will just collapse completely. the reasons are thus.
life feeds us choices by virtue of the sexes that we are in this life, there is nothing we can do about this.

a man is not valued for his beauty inherently, a woman may want to sleep with him but not marry him, women will always choose a man that can provide and protect. this is why older men are more appealing to younger women because these men are the epitome of what women desire. rich, established and strong. other things like beauty, kindness etc are extra in a man, the key things for a man is to be able to provide and protect.

meanwhile a woman is valued for beauty and fertility, other attributes are extra. this is evolutionary biology and this will never change. women want resources and protection and security and men want pretty, loyal, young fertile, chaste women.

the only reason why there is a rise of old women on adverts is because of laws forcing it "aka feminism", either way adverts dont matter, what matter is do attractive rich strong men marry old women? the answer is no. and this is the reality

It's not women alone who reduce their ages. Both sexes reduce their ages on their CVs in order to get good jobs due to the high rate of unemployment.

I love the way sensible comments were made on this thread , it shows we still have beautiful and intelligent nigerians ; this is how I think nairaland and Nigeria at large should be, not people bashing all the time and trying to form savage. God bless u all the commentors and God bless Nigeria

MrLucifer:
Very sensible comments on this thread with the exception of the Crownstar01 . I had to confirm if we're still on Romance section.

Whatever, Mr. Lucifer.

The main reason women lie about their age is due to discrimination. They want to remain young.