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Some Tips To Spice Up Your Dating Life by Afrocadio: 6:52am On Jul 18, 2020
Like it or not, you may go through bad relationships at some point in your life.

Don’t get me wrong, I wish the best for you. We want to have better relationships.

But oftentimes, life happens. We are hit hard by a bad relationship.

And this affects us psychologically, physically, and emotionally.

That is about to change.

I’ve got some tips for you. Seven basic tips that we neglect.

If you’re serious about changing your relationships, be my guest!



Tip #1. Communication: The butter that holds the bread together
I’ll start by painting a picture you may be familiar with

So you finished cooking this delicious dish. On serving it, it looked delectable. You eat a little and it dawned on you.

What?! I added everything and I forgot to add salt?

We’ve all been there, right?

Now, this can be likened to communication. Just like the food, everything looks so beautiful from the outside. But inside, there’s gunfire going on.

What’s my point?

Other ingredients that make relationships work hinges on how well the partners communicate. I kid you not.

It’s so important that it is now a required skill to work for most companies.

I’ll end with a survey done by YourTango.com in 2012: Hundred mental health experts (men and women) were asked to give their take on the major cause of divorce.

The result?

Among other factors, communication accounted for 65% of relationship failures.
That’s a huge figure, right?

Don’t fret.

What you should do.

- Find a Time to Talk: This is a must. You should strive to do this daily unless in extreme cases where you can’t reach your partner.
- Listen when they speak: People appreciate it when they’re listened to. Try to remove any distractions when communicating.
- Your Tone Matters: This makes or breaks your communication. Try to control your tone. You don’t want to sound aggressive, but at the same time, don’t mask your feelings behind your tone. Show it.

Communicating in relationships can take many forms: According to Professor Albert Mehrabian; “Communication is 7% verbal and 38% tone, the rest is body language.
So, use them effectively.



Tip #2. Do Not Assume

He’s not picking up my calls. He’s with another woman.

She didn’t reply to my text. She’s out with some other guy.

Boom! We conclude.

While these are ideal cases, it’s not always the case.

According to Richelle E. Goodrich: “While you judge me by my outward appearance, I am silently doing the same to you, even though there’s a 90% chance that we’re both wrong”.

Objectivity matters greatly in a relationship.

If you keep assuming and holding illusions about your partner, in time, it’ll destroy your relationship.

You don’t want to jump into conclusions by assumptions and imaginations.

Try knowing the facts before voicing out your displeasure. Not doing this will breed a lack of trust at the other end.

What you should do.

Ask Questions.

Find out what led to their actions and look at things from their perspective.

If what they did goes against your ethics, let them know. This instills some form of trust.

Navonne Johns puts it best: “A person’s character is shown through their actions in life, NOT where they sit on Sunday”.

A one-sided story is always dangerous.



Tip #3. Be Friends.

Some will say: “But we were friends before we got married.” Or you might have heard: “We’ve gone from being friends to partners.”

Many of us stop being friends after getting into the relationship proper.

No. It shouldn’t stop at the boyfriend or girlfriend stage. You’ve got to remain, friends, if you want to have a long-lasting relationship.

As a guy, you don’t need to have a bossy attitude.

Yes, you have the strength, agreed. But remember, because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

What you should do.

Spend quality time together. We are all busy making money and we tend to forget to make out time together.

Don’t just spend time, but quality time.

During this period, you both can communicate, talk about the day, and plan for the future.

This step is critical to transforming your relationships.



Tip #4. Learn to Reciprocate

“Hello, good morning.”
“Hi, good morning….”

What just happened there?

You greeted someone and they did the same, or vice versa.

The greeting is just an example. And while it’s important to greet your partner, it shouldn’t be the only thing you give back to them.

Be kind to them always, and they’ll do the same to you. This most times, happen automatically. It’s like magic.

Take a look at this quote from John Joseph Powell, this is from his book — The Secret of Staying in Love.

Listen to this: “It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human.”

Now you understand why you need to reciprocate.

Matter of fact, you don’t need to be loved or respected first. If you show love and give respect, expect both in return from your partner.

What you should do.

Reciprocate in good acts. You only want to pay good for good. Give good to receive back.

If you give the opposite, you never know what’s going to come back to you.



Tip #5. Compliment your Partner

If you’re not doing this, start doing it. If you’re doing it, keep doing it. Don’t get tired of doing it.

Your partner feels appreciated when you do. And you know what comes next… they reciprocate.

Simply saying…

Your hair looks beautiful. I love your outfit. Those shoes look good on you. And a list of other compliments will spice things up.

As you do this, try being honest. Don’t fake it.

Develop a habit of complimenting your partner. But don’t go haywire with it.

Remember the 7% rule in our first point. As you compliment them, it should reflect in your body language. That way it looks genuine.

Saying “You look beautiful” without appreciating their beauty through body language sounds vague.

If you pay attention, you’ll find many ways and many things to pour encomiums on. Could be looks, clothes, hairstyle or even waking up to see him/her.

What you should do.

You could be this already, but if you’re not, it’s not too late to start.

Start from the little things like the ones above.

Make it genuine or else it wouldn’t make much difference.

Don’t force it. Don’t overdo it. If you do, eyebrows get raised.

Learn to pay attention to details and you will know what needs complimenting.



Tip #6. Carry out Activities Together
An African proverb says: “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

It gets better…

Listen to what Henry Ford, the famous American Industrialist has to say: “Coming together is the beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.”

What’s the point?

Togetherness breeds good qualities like trust and love.

The more things are done in unison, the greater these qualities will.

You may be thinking, “But there are certain things and certain decisions I have to take on my own.” Agreed, accepted.

Here’s the thing: if you incorporate people into your plans, they feel important. This gives them a sense of value.

Don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t do everything with your partner, but if there’s anyone you can, please do.

What you should do

Going shopping together is a good way to start.

From there, you can do a lot of activities together.

Remember, you get better results when you use a bundle of broomsticks to sweep, as compared to a broomstick.



Tip #7. It won’t be Smooth

Yes, I’ve given you some relationship tips that should help you. Yes, they work.

Truth is: it won’t be a roller coaster ride.
Good things take time. You may have heard of the duration it takes to manufacture a Rolls Royce. When compared to other car brands, the difference is clear.

You can’t do all these in a day (good luck if you can). But striving to do them daily will spring forth with good fruits in no time.

In school, we don’t graduate with first-class at our final level. Accumulating A’s, B’s, and C’s in the right proportion makes this possible.

You want to take the small wins and build up from there.

What you should do

Acknowledge that this will take some time to accomplish. That’s the first step.

Appreciate the small wins because they add up to something great.

If you can do these or most of them, then watch out for a positive difference in your marriage, relationship, or dating life.



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1 Like

Re: Some Tips To Spice Up Your Dating Life by Highbeepeeh(m): 7:35am On Jul 18, 2020
Las las she go leave me go meet BABA OLOWO na where story end be datundecided
Re: Some Tips To Spice Up Your Dating Life by Afrocadio: 8:08am On Jul 18, 2020
Highbeepeeh:
Las las she go leave me go meet BABA OLOWO na where story end be datundecided
And you'll have Highbeepeeh grin

(1) (Reply)

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