Localchampion:
I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to.
We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced.
So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.

Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking
1. He said I'm useless to him
2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them.
3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come.
4. He said his cousins girl did this and that.
5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla
6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner.
7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful.
8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together
He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember.
I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.

All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.

I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.

All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.

Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.

Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.

I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.

He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.

I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.

Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head.

Marry at your own risk. This guy sounds quite narcissistic and such people place more value on their own well being and their own vanities than on any other person's. If you get married to such a person you going to be in anguish from all the ways they show their narcissism.

Localchampion:
I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to.
We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced.
So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.

Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking
1. He said I'm useless to him
2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them.
3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come.
4. He said his cousins girl did this and that.
5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla
6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner.
7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful.
8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together
He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember.
I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.

All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.

I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.

All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.

Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.

Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.

I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.

He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.

I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.

Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head.

Follow your mind if you know what you want.

Solatium:



,the first thing you should have done was to make a good meal for the two of you,but instead you were giving the dude ₦1k as if you are giving handout to your ward.

I have to agree to this. How do you go visit your man in an LDR. You haven’t seen him in months, you get there and you can’t prepare ordinary noodles. Next thing is to start giving him 1k to buy you food. Such disrespect! That is enough to make any man flip. Let alone one that is financially disadvantaged.

I am not saying her bf is any better, but both of them need to reevaluate their Articles of Association.

Independent woman no mean say make you carry chair sit for your man head. There is a time for everything.

Babe

Come let’s get married and leave that bozo alone
For reals tho
Message me

Localchampion:

Truth is that I'm stuck with him due to religious reasons. But now, im just confused, I thought I have found a Romeo, I am now behaving like Juliet.

and why didn't u mention that religious issue

IamPlato:
To be honest with you, women should avoid men that think so retardedly like you

President of retardėd people, good morning sir.
If you weren't retardėd, you'd have seen clearly that I'm not one of your members
Get help soon

What's tha business?

thorpido:
The idiot here should bring the other side of the story.
Onye iberibe.

At least, you admit you don't know the whole story.

Take care

Pegi23:
. Sweet dreams ND interesting write up

Thanks girl. Have a nice day ahead...Morning.

pocohantas:


I have to agree to this. How do you go visit your man in an LDR. You haven’t seen him in months, you get there and you can’t prepare ordinary noodles. Next thing is to start giving him 1k to buy you food. Such disrespect! That is enough to make any man flip. Let alone one that is financially disadvantaged.

I am not saying her bf is any better, but both of them need to reevaluate their Articles of Association.

Independent woman no mean say make you carry chair sit for your man head. There is a time for everything.

Fair and balanced.

They both have work to do.

Localchampion:
I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to.
We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced.
So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.

Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking
1. He said I'm useless to him
2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them.
3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come.
4. He said his cousins girl did this and that.
5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla
6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner.
7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful.
8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together
He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember.
I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.

All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.

I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.

All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.

Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.

Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.

I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.

He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.

I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.

Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head.

Truth be told... Most men are intimidated by independent ladies... When you stopped doing those stuffs you normally did... I could swear it bothered him... Anyways there are always three sides of a story... Your side, his side and the truth....

Sarah20A:
This is how majority of Nigeria men in Nigeria behaves they want both the traditional and modern women in one body but they are not ready to move an inch to play their role.

Relationship and marriage is not a do or die

I agree

pocohantas:


I have to agree to this. How do you go visit your man in an LDR. You haven’t seen him in months, you get there and you can’t prepare ordinary noodles. Next thing is to start giving him 1k to buy you food. Such disrespect! That is enough to make any man flip. Let alone one that is financially disadvantaged.

I am not saying her bf is any better, but both of them need to reevaluate their Articles of Association.

Independent woman no mean say make you carry chair sit for your man head. There is a time for everything.

Well, as I wrote, I came to do something very important, we didn't even see that day until night. Also I don't eat indomie, and it never cross my mind that that could be a food option

No offense poster, you are not in a relationship.

All those boys telling her to continue with him, I hope you can take your own advice when the time comes.

poster, please if there is a way you can cut short what you came to do in Enugu, please do so and return to your location.

above all, be with someone who appreciates you and gives you peace of mind.

pay no heed to anyone who tells you that it would be hard to find someone else.

this is one of those times I will tell you to end things with this kidult before you go loco.

pocohantas:


I have to agree to this. How do you go visit your man in an LDR. You haven’t seen him in months, you get there and you can’t prepare ordinary noodles. Next thing is to start giving him 1k to buy you food. Such disrespect! That is enough to make any man flip. Let alone one that is financially disadvantaged.

I am not saying her bf is any better, but both of them need to reevaluate their Articles of Association.

Independent woman no mean say make you carry chair sit for your man head. There is a time for everything.

Relationship should be symbiosis not parasitic,
The earlier we all realizes that the better for all of us

At 24 you are still young and will find a good man who truly deserve you. As they say a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage and he that wears the shoes knows where it hurts. Please for the sake of your peace and joy I will advice you discontinue this roleship and move on. He doesn't love you at all and I say this without mincing words. I am very convinced that he has a girlfriend she loves and adore but just taking advantage of you. This is what we (most guys) did in our flirting days and it will continue to happen. Anyways for whatever decision you finally take I wish you peace...

Localchampion:

Well, as I wrote, I came to do something very important, we didn't even see that day until night. Also I don't eat indomie, and it never cross my mind that that could be a food option

Then you make plans for the next day. Please it is condescending to be giving your man 1k to buy food. Before you take certain actions, look at him very well and ask yourself if that is how you want people to view the “head of your home”.

Read that Georgel’s comment and digest it. Men DO NOT appreciate this kind of your independence. You sound like a nice person, so keep it in mind for the next guy- because I can see this one done really stress you. It is not even his intention to be that annoying, they are generally annoying when they don’t have money. It is his inability to buy you hair and pizza that is making him like that o.

Even for NL, go Business, Autos and Foreign Affairs, you will see the guys there are chill. Na lack of money dey make man scratch body. When man get money, if you talk too much- he will ask if you still want to buy that phone you talked about last week.

pocohantas:


Then you make plans for the next day. Please it is condescending to be giving your man 1k to buy food. Before you take certain actions, look at him very well and ask yourself if that is how you want people to view the “head of your home”.

Read that Georgel’s comment and digest it. Men DO NOT appreciate this kind of your independence. You sound like a nice person, so keep it in mind for the next guy- because I can see this one done really stress you. It is not even his intention to be that annoying, they are generally annoying when they don’t have money. It is his inability to buy you hair and pizza that is making him like that o.

Even for NL, go Business, Autos and Foreign Affairs, you will see the guys there are chill. Na lack of money dey make man scratch body. When man get money, if you talk too much- he will ask if you still want to buy that phone you talked about last week.

Lol. Not like he asked, I came in the night, going for an interview, and he was going to buy food and I just dropped 1k from my bag. They are things that happened very fast without thinking, since I was busy with stuffs I came to do

pocohantas:


They don’t learn. They will still use her as case study on how women age faster. While the guy will be on NL, claiming to fund 80% recurring expenses.

Long distance Roleship kwa,

Am coming lemme me download the answer for your questions from my Playstore

Do not marry him. U will regret it if u do

othermen:
Have you asked God?

Which kind ask God?
Come make una stop to the disturb baba God oo
With all these mumu wey they guy they do?
My sister Fleeee oo

Localchampion:
I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to.
We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced.
So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.

Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking
1. He said I'm useless to him
2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them.
3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come.
4. He said his cousins girl did this and that.
5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla
6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner.
7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful.
8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together
He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember.
I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.

All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.

I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.

All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.

Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.

Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.

I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.

He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.

I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.

Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head.

Never ever be in a relationship where the guy is not looking after you somewhat because you will resent him.... it is on the primitive level that the more you do the less he does.

Relationship is give and take. Ask him for some money no matter how small but if he refuses you need to stop giving more so you don't start hating him.

5 years investment is a long time so try salvaging it. Traditional roles work for a reason.... men will always want you to cook and pamper them (nothing wrong with that) make sure he is also meeting your needs or you may have to walk away. Too many fishes in the river to be in an unhappy relationship.

Localchampion:
I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to.
We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced.
So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.

Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking
1. He said I'm useless to him
2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them.
3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come.
4. He said his cousins girl did this and that.
5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla
6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner.
7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful.
8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together
He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember.
I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.

All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.

I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.

All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.

Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.

Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.

I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.

He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.

I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.

Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head.

It's obvious he doesn't value you. I advise you to call it quits, because you should understand your value. Any man who does not appreciate you, and keeps on degrading you by words and actions is showing red flag. It shows he doesn't respect and value you. He is not meant for you.

IamPlato:
If you love your happiness don't listen to the advice of many guys here, especially those guys telling you to stay with that selfish boyfriend....


Many guys here think they are red pilled but they are just online living things they have no idea what relationship is all about... Selfishness is an abomination don't tolerate it

Are you sure you reason with your head @ all, who will write a statement to incriminate him or herself, can't you spot her words are carefully concocted. "i give him money" effect women are way ahead of men
Lets even agreed the guy is wicked than the devil, she said the guy is broke buh everyday they buy food frm outsides ...with cost of food, two adults do d maths she drops 1k.
I want to also assume d guy is very selfish buh what do we make of a gurlfriend that visited her boyfriend, she won't cook or clean the house all in the name of "i'm working", is it not strange her so called broke & stingy boyfriend gave her 5k to buy foodstuff the moment she took d initiative to ask. How he treated her afterwards shows if OP could understand her man better she will enjoy him.

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GerogeI:


Well, can I steal you from this your boyfriend. I like women who are focused and think?

Have you thought about dating some other person or are you stuck on him.

In fairness, guys like women to show the feminine side, at least few times in a while. To be talkative, flirt, be vain, ask for help, damsel in distress way, not role challenging way, to cook, to cry, to be totally hooked on them, buy new clothes, and look sexy, to be callous in spending. Just a few times in a while.
I think women call that being "sophisticated". Good looking, achiever, tending towards independence.

But you have a mans mind, objective and focused, with a woman's heart- emotional and depressed. You need to be more feminine a bit, without loosing your focused approach to life, but still have some fun.

I will tell you a secret my grandmother teaches her women folks in the villages. "What ever money you save for your husband by looking shabby, unkept or uninteresting, will be used to fund another woman outside to keep looking fabulous"

A man is moved by sight first, before his heart.
You do not do a typical man favour by not spending his money, he will not see that beauty.
Spend it a little, but not callously.

Your brain will never die!!

Your grandma is the OG of wisdom. You are lucky to be around her.

Biko steal this woman from that user boyfriend of hers.

thorpido:
That you told him you lost money and he didn't even sympathize with you shows he cares just about his own happiness.
Talk to your feet o.

at op. Please listen to this so you don't regret latter.

IamPlato:
To be honest with you, women should avoid men that think so retardedly like you

Hiliarous ! am thinking "women should rush a man like you" afterall "ode won like" feel free to download d song buh d Ironic of life is women don't even consider men that lick there ass & do all there biddings. can any gurl cum out n declare love for you.
Man to man incase you av kids you beta go for DNA test, cos women appreciate men like you more with bastards

jornwhite:



Are you sure you reason with your head @ all, who will write a statement to incriminate him or herself, can't you spot her words are carefully concocted. "i give him money" effect women are way ahead of men
Lets even agreed the guy is wicked than the devil, she said the guy is broke buh everyday they buy food frm outsides ...with cost of food, two adults do d maths she drops 1k.
I want to also assume d guy is very selfish buh what do we make of a gurlfriend that visited her boyfriend, she won't cook or clean the house all in the name of "i'm working", is it not strange her so called broke & stingy boyfriend gave her 5k to buy foodstuff the moment she took d initiative to ask. How he treated her afterwards shows if OP could understand her man better she will enjoy him.

first of all I think you guys need to get that mentality that a girlfriend is suppose to cook for you when she comes over....

did you read all she wrote before jumping to support a fellow brother, we all do not know the full story... you said she carefully picked her words so the guy can be blamed bro everybody who lays complains about others do not talk about themselves because the complain is not about them but others...


if you are being logical you will know when something is right or wrong...



you don't have to be too uptight about ladies.... we all know ladies got their problems to but in this case a guy is the case study so focus on the damn guy and leave the girl's flaws out... that is not your problem...

Cashalhaji:


Hmmmm, it's obvious this guy loves u (to marry), rates u high & expects u to act as a wife material ( hence his fraustration in having to settle for bought food).

Unfortunately too he's husband material is not complete, that's why he couldn't care enough for ur lose & pain when u lost ur money ( but I sense that's his deliberate insensitivity, because he was already getting angry of not feeling ur presence even though u were around).

Point 1.. both of u have genuine intent to marry.
Point 2 .. both of u have attitudenal differences /shortcoming to brace up with (CHANGE)
.. U don't say because u lost ur money to sweep is even a big deal, u don't say because u were busy some brief fast food can't be made by u at home .. eg tea & bread, egg , yam etc ... money spent in buying food can do better and be more appreciated with fast home cooked food.
He too could have had a better way of letting u see ur mistakes than fraustratingly. Expecially he should be able to show care to ur lose & ur busy schedule too ... Not just about what u can do for him.

Point 3 ... Yeah u don't expect much from him .. that's why u don't complain but that doesn't mean it's right when he's not fulfilling his obligation, so as he's making u see ur roles as a woman, u need not take offence but to also logically he letting him see his roles too as a man .. that eventually makes u both sit up & be more responsible. U don't say because u condone his irresponsibility he should same to urs .. that will make u both irresponsible at d long run & a terrible omen for d family to be.

Lastly .. don't give up yet .. I feel there's love & commitment. The only prob here are attitudenal differences & expectations .. this every relationship have to contend with in one way or d other.

more wisdom to the elders, localchampion next you wana seek advice look for experienced elders that av seen it all, not we children of nowadays, don't be shocked that most of the advice you get in here are from people whu cannt keep a r/ship for a year. So much wisdom in his comment i hope you find it.

jornwhite:




Hiliarous ! am thinking "women should rush a man like you" afterall "ode won like" feel free to download d song buh d Ironic of life is women don't even consider men that lick there ass & do all there biddings. can any gurl cum out n declare love for you.
Man to man incase you av kids you beta go for DNA test, cos women appreciate men like you more with bastards

If you know the meaning of ass licking you will know how to use the word but when you don't know you will embarrass yourself shamefully in public...



if you are educated enough about relationship, your brain will think before your mouth talks but in your case na the reverse set happen...


good luck with being a retardd...

Localchampion:
I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to.
We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced.
So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.

Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking
1. He said I'm useless to him
2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them.
3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come.
4. He said his cousins girl did this and that.
5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla
6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner.
7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful.
8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together
He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember.
I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.

All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.

I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.

All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.

Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.

Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.

I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.

He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.

I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.

Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head.

He is still a boy ruled by his emotion while u are equally not different from him. Birds of the same feather. If u can not fill in for ur partner no matter the reason, then u are no match for each other. Marriage is ability of one partner to lift up his or her mate when they fall and not start revenge but to look away from fault and manage them. Dont forget u equally have ur own fault.