| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Bloooody(m): 6:43am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Localchampion:
Ready for what? Truth be told your boyfriend is a mad man. He depends on you a woman like that of a child. If you value your life and mental stability you will go back home then call him on the cell phone to end this disgusting relationship. That man Is mad 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Gabriel99: 6:44am On Aug 27, 2020 |
He obviously has issues, but can it be corrected yes. Relationship is serious work in progress. In all you've said I didn't see one thing that suggested you corrected him, you only paid him back in his own coin. First off, seat him down and correct him, tell him your fears and that he needs to stop acting the "roleship thing" like you put.
If by the time you've told him, I believe if his sensible he'll apologize and adjust his behaviour. What you should be looking out is his response after corrections, is he teachable? Does he accept his wrong? If he is you'll be fine, but if after correcting him he still behaves in a similar manner, then consider ending the relationship. This is the time to work on each other and remove any attitude that stands in the way to your happiness and correction is the key not do me I do you.
Tell him how he should treat you and watch his response. For instance, you should have told him how uncaring he was after you noticed his nonchalant attitude after the money went missing and tell him you expected this and that, most times, men need to be told A-Z to understand and relate better. Teach him and if his not learning stop and end it.
Thank you and above all please be praying. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by nNEOo(m): 6:44am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Localchampion:
So many red flags here. Less concerned about your emotional problems,even when you were sliding towards depression. Big fat ego as seem in people with poor character. His shameless act of comparison. He has even remastered the act of duty evasion. Sense of entitlement. What kind of man will keep a lady at home without caring for her,what if she was your sister. I understand it is a long distance relationship and I'm aware of the possibility that he may have some girl who is closer to him vice versa but I'm only interested on how you're treated in your relationship with him. You seem independent both in mind and in finance,marriage is a long time commitment and temperaments must be complimentary in a healthy way. You're even lucky you've seen so much already, some people true color springs up like an anti body when the settle into matrimony. Don't start your marital journey on the big load of tolerance.tolerance should come later. Discarding is your call we can only advise. AS FOR ROLES Roles are what makes any coupled thing functional ,be it in the home,at work places,in government and it institutions ,in schools,in religious houses,even in the relationship or (Rolationship  ) one may genuinely not be able to carry out their own role due to certain events or circumstances hence the other units is expected to absorb until things get back to normal as seen in most cases. You must be respected and appreciated in that relationship if you truly deserve it. Stop tolerating bullshiits in the name of the father and the son. |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by justphillips(m): 6:46am On Aug 27, 2020 |
AFvckingAlpha:
The fvck
Niggarr!!
The guy needs to grow the fvck up!!
He ought to treat you better. You deserve a better man!
My brother in Christ 
|
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Brunicekid(m): 6:49am On Aug 27, 2020 |
othermen:
Have you asked God? Confirm question...Gbam! |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by watchindelta(m): 6:50am On Aug 27, 2020 |
techmaster092:
Who want to even marry you, u didn't read and understand you jst decided to comment in a hurry, d gal is a good gal n her type is hard to find.... If I lose 150k n u folo me talk rubbish na slap i go slap u you date her before wey u take know say na good girl lol  anyway let hear from the guy too  |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by watchindelta(m): 6:53am On Aug 27, 2020 |
shegzydave:
Bros be sincere From what she said let accept the fact that the guy is at fault, if you take patience to read it all, is the guy that is a trouble
maker, what else did he want the lady to do, she visited and still spending her own money to eat with him, obviously it shows the guy is taking her for granted because am sure she has been doing that, if you also loose 150k how will u feel in this time of period, pls let us be sincere for once.... The guy is at fault sir I concur with you but sometimes story they get two side. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by donprinyo(m): 6:55am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Relationship is should be symbiotic. Anything other than that is slavery. |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Jeffy1206(m): 6:55am On Aug 27, 2020 |
You ma no try at all!! You go guy house, you no fit de cook, una come de waste money de buy food? Na wa you sef. you both have your own issues and you can work on them with a heart to heart. But reading this your long story, I can say that there's no love in this relationship ; you're living as strangers! |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by vikkogg: 6:56am On Aug 27, 2020 |
I could remember vividly that I broke up with a girl in 2012 due to this same issue of selfishness. She was working and earning salary, but I'd still give her everything she asked for (money for hair, cloths, etc). I promised her some money but unfortunately, I lost some money around that time. Although, I was still gonna give her the money I promised her. But on telling her about the loss of some money, the next thing she said was "that doesn't concern me, you must give me what you promised me". I was very shocked but didn't show it to her. By God's grace, I left her in the relationship to be dating herself and that was one of the best decisions I ever made. I hate a one-sided relationship, God is my witness. I'm not advising you to do the same, sister. Different strokes for different folks. Devise your own way and pull through. Localchampion:
I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to.
We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced.
So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.
Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking
1. He said I'm useless to him
2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them.
3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come.
4. He said his cousins girl did this and that.
5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla
6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner.
7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful.
8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together
He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember.
I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.
All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.
I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.
All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.
Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.
Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.
I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.
He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.
I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.
Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head. |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by wax123(m): 6:57am On Aug 27, 2020 |
You just gave us ur own side of the story, am not gonna judge that nigga yet.....but my simple question is why would u be spending 1k per meal for days and be claiming that their is no food stuff in the house to cook n no money ...are u guys in buhari's class |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Philantropists: 6:59am On Aug 27, 2020 |
You are dating a guy that base in ENUGU. His future is based on number of beer bottles he can drink in a day and how many girls he can sleep with.
A city of civil servants where 60 percent of the youth spend more time at beer parlor or cyber cafe. Oyo
Localchampion:
I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to.
So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use . 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Eddygourdo(m): 7:01am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Localchampion:
I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to.
We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced.
So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.
Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking
1. He said I'm useless to him
2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them.
3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come.
4. He said his cousins girl did this and that.
5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla
6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner.
7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful.
8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together
He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember.
I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.
All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.
I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.
All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.
Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.
Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.
I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.
He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.
I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.
Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head. why were you eating out? Why didn't you use the money for buying rubbish outside to cook at home. That's what a woman does. She improvises. See how happy he is when you did your role, encourage him to do his as well. Don't abuse him as money no easy to make (you are also a hustler and you know say e no easy). Don't encourage laziness in that boy, ask for money here and there did for nothing go save it and to force him to hustle hard. Na money dey make love and marriage sweet oh. But don't kill what makes him a man (his ego) by using denigrating words, encourage him and subtly be demanding sometimes make him go hustle hard for una. That is a man's role, you own na to build home, a good start should have been cooking with the little you have and no giving excuses not to sweep and cook like na you be the first to loose money |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Obito555(m): 7:04am On Aug 27, 2020 |
He is complaining becos he doesn't have a Good job, we rise by lifting others, if u can find a job for him I believe this attitude will change for better good luck on your choice |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by sparko1(m): 7:15am On Aug 27, 2020 |
After reading some comments, it’s obvious some guys feels cooking should only be done by the lady, definitely not, a guy should at least cook for his guest for the first 2-3 days, any lady staying after that need not to be told she should at least assist in cooking especially since it’s for both of you.
Don’t ever under any circumstance compare your lady or guy with anyone, that is the fastest way to destroying the relationship.
The fact that he doesn’t know or care about what you came to do (expect you told him you just came for servicing) is a big red flag.
You seems to be an introvert, so let me advice you as one, most times we overlook bullshit in the hope that things will work itself out. Thinking is what we are specialized in, I can guess how much pain the argument have caused in your head before you decide to voice out.
I can’t say this is the right move, an introvert can’t be a relationship without understanding, (I once found myself apologizing all the time because I forgot to call for a week or two, yeah very bad, but in my mind, that is not a problem. I have to let her go). If after two years you can’t seem to have a perfect understanding of each other, my advice let it go. |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Jerewise332(m): 7:15am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Inasmuch there's no perfect relationship else where, your so called boyfriend is not mentally mature, why would a responsible guy compare his girl to others?, for me it's totally unacceptable.. My sis. God is showing you warning signals because if he can act like this in a relationship definitely he'll do more in marriage. Reasons he apologized, is because of those benefit he derived from you. I rest my case |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Bahamas95(m): 7:18am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Stop wasting your time, that guy isn't ready for any serious relationship/marriage.
It's obvious he is just a fair weather boyfriend. Once you don't dance to his tune there will be problem. |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by osaslord500(m): 7:20am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Localchampion:
I'm the one stopping him from doing that. The reason His yet to lay his hands on me is because I'm the quiet type when I'm very angry.
Also, till now, hes yet to give me money for those things I asked for, that would be a one sided role You came to your boyfriend house, you had cash on you and instead of you to try to cook something, you decided to be giving him 1k to buy food for you. That's very wrong. Secondly you lost money, instead to cheer up and look for a way forward to either get the money or make more money you decided to be depressed and moody to your boyfriend that you haven't seen in a year, to an extent you didn't sweep the house or do anything for 2days. That's also very wrong. I'm not saying you boyfriend is right but sometimes before we judge others, we need to look at our own faults. Thank you |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by kpompey: 7:21am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Please make a list of all you need.I need a wife. |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Mystery9(m): 7:24am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Madam if you don't want punches later in marraige resign 4rm this child play. Because tomorrow maybe too late. |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Tribers: 7:28am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Localchampion:
I believe this If you can see this my advice to you is don't listen to all the advice here, I'm also a guy in a long distance relationship and put this in mind your guys are different that what relationship is all about you learn to understand each other there is no perfect relationship outside , my dear your love will fade even tho it's not a long distance relationship but you have to build it up again marriage is not for children it for those who are ready to grow themeselve , emotional, financial spiritual , so there is a chance you love the guy you can't come here and post it ( people opinions on your relationship is a bad thing ,they are also traumatized) |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by TronMaster: 7:31am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Localchampion:
.
I know, his happiness is the most annoying to me, when I cooked and all, as if I didn't wanna do it, as if he wasn't the one that was broke, since he gave me the money for the food, he has been complaining he has no money again. He wants his bread and cake same time.
Till now, he hasn't given me the money to make my hair and frowning that I'm asking him money when I know he doesn't, he said he would be more than happy to do them for me bla bla bla. I don't understand what broke dudes are doing in a relationship though. Money is needed to keep a relationship healthy. The character is just there to ensure peace of mind. Niggas should make money first before talking relationship. I'll be damned if my lady ask me for anything and scratch scratch it goes. |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Reference(m): 7:36am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Without being a proper Christian the most important relationship in the world is just a gamble, simple. If you cannot do these two things:
Read the mind and intent of a man and tell what happens tomorrow, then I think it is better to take the risk 'on God'. Ehat do you stand to lose, nothing.
You are BOUND to make a wrong decision any way else you go. |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Sapaz02: 7:38am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Can u chat me privately pls? Check my profile for more details ok. Thanks � |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Sirmikky1(m): 7:39am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Did you put the ₦150k in Greenrich?? |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by femi4: 7:40am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Localchampion:
I'm really confused about my boyfriend if hes worthy of getting married to.
We are in a long distant relationship, we hardly see, sometimes thrice in a year, but I believe the reason we are still together is because its a distant relationship, as each time I go to Enugu to greet him and stay for 2weeks, my love for him is always reduced.
So much this time around, we haven't seen for a year, and I had something important to do in Enugu, so I decided to stay in his place and use the opportunity to greet him. The first 4days, we were totally fine with each other, as I was busy with doing the stuff I came to do. Meanwhile, I didn't spend his money, as I came with my money and give him money to buy me food, so for the first 3days he was the one buying the cooked foods we ate, but I would give him 1k. Naturally, I don't eat outside, nor do I eat junks, but because he said he doesn't have money, I just pitied him and did not mention the fact that he should get foodstuffs, I don't want him to start feeling bad that he has no money plus I was even busy, remember I came for a purpose. And I don't use it as attitudes for him, I'm a very happy enduring lady.
Now after the fourth day that I finished the program I originally came for, I lost my money, about 150,000, truth is when I'm sad, im usually harsher, and would not talk much, would become exessively quiet, because if I talk, I may start to cry, this is when problem started between us, he acted unconcerned about my predicament, I just ignored him, trying to see how I can get back my money. And the truth is, if I get the money, I will surely give him part of the money, there's no time I will make money and not give him. So for like two days, I was in depression due to my money, I didnt sweep, I was just sighning, and not cheerful to him, the next day afterwards, was when he bursted, and started talking
1. He said I'm useless to him
2. He compared me with other people's girlfriend, how they take care of their boyfriend, how they cook for them, cook extremely homey food for them.
3. He said his friends couldn't visit him because I'm in his house, and thus hes missing because the fact that I'm in his house I'm useless, not doing anything for him, and yet his friends couldn't come.
4. He said his cousins girl did this and that.
5. He said I'm talking of marriage, he said what is he marrying, he said when I'm not even showing any readiness bla bla bla
6. He said I should look at his house, does it look like a girl is there, he said his friend told him that since I'm around now, his cheeks would become bigger, and in his mind, he knew he would only grow thinner.
7. He said I should leave his house first thing tomorrow morning, since I'm not useful.
8. He said at this point, hes confused, if i want to break up, I should just let him know, because what is the point of our stay together
He said just too many hurtful things and those are the ones I could remember.
I was able to record some of those things, so I can relisten to them later. But he collected my phone and deleted all I recorded.
All through, I was just quiet and smiling because I don't even know where to start replying him and he was very serious, his face was in a fight mood, I don't wanna talk because I really don't like problems or fight. Then later, he said I must say something, he seized my phone, and almost made me loose a deal.
I just kept quiet, later when I started talking, he denied having said USELESS, something he mentioned more than twice and apologized swiftly.
All his accusations were wrong because the reason I didn't cook is because he has no single food at home and hes the one always complaining he has no money, so I just taught that, I wouldn't make my stay to disrupt his life, he knew I hate eating outside, and the fact that we buy food is something I am enduring, because the foods makes me nauseated each time I eat them. He knows how much i cook for him when he comes visiting me, I will cook several things, what I can't even eat myself due to financial problems, I am the one always fighting him to cook that Junks are unhealthy. But just because I was pitying him, I didn't bring up the idea of cooking, he accused me of being useless, he said I'm the one to bring up the idea as a girlfriend, bla bla bla.
Later that day, I brought the idea and he gave me 5k to the market, I cooked and did everything. I didn't buy a single food I could eat (I don't eat pasters), because the money isn't enough, so I just bought foods he likes and made a nice sauce. His friend came visiting, I packed foods for her and did normal. His friend called him to relate how I treated her, this is when my boyfriend started filling extremely happy, and thanking God for meeting me, saying nice things.
Since then, he has been saying stuffs of how much he's been gifted to have me bla bla bla, to me, whatever I have for him has greatly reduced, because I don't know the Essence of the relationship, because to him, its a roleship, where I must do my roles and if I miss, he won't even think why could I have missed it, if its intentionally, was it because I'm sad, the next thing he would be saying is if we should break up or not. Now, this is someone I never compared with anyone, I don't even compare people, I just do normal to him, like I will do to a brother, plan for him, etc, yet he compares me all the time and wants me to live like the other average girls that are using iphones.
I told him yesterday that since he wants a roleship, he would also man up, and for the first time in our 5years relationship, I started behaving like the normal girls, I asked him for money to make my hair, he doesn't have, I asked him for money for cream, he doesn't have and he has been angry because I told him I don't care whether he has money or not, since I must do my roles, he should also do his roles, and for the first time I also compared him and told him what men are doing for their girls.
He has been frowning and sad since I said those words to him, because they are deep, I just served him exactly what he did to me. I'm not happy, I'm doing that to him, I'm even sad I'm telling him all these because this is not me. I'm still going to make him realize how useless he is in my life, absolutely useless, and that is the truth, since he sees our relationship as a role one, then hes useless.
I can't marry him like this, God forbids, someone who can't endure due to the situation of things and understand, and he wants me to understand his own and endure for him, its not just possible for me, and he's good at talking, abusing, bullying, etc. Hes the one that will tell me to snap pictures for him, I will tell him I don't have clothes, he will say ''Go and Buy now'', He will bully me with my hair and compare it with that of other girls. He wasn't broke before the lockdown, but I didn't collect money from him because I want him to achieve and grow with the money, so that by the time we get married, he would be financially very okay.
Please should I marry this kind of Man? I really don't know why I should because it seems his happiness towards me, his affection and romance is dependent on fulfilling ROLES in his head. Please, don't marry him. He's 1. Lazy 2. Unappreciative 3. Selfish and 4. Self centered |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Linus199(m): 7:44am On Aug 27, 2020 |
oh God! I don't see a relationship here |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Dejoe2019: 7:49am On Aug 27, 2020 |
A rule that has always worked for me is when in doubt, don't. You created your nairaland account a month ago and you have created 6 topicso all about your boyfriend and distant relationship. It's a sign that you are really worried and in doubt about how the relationship will work. With this mindset, even if you close your eyes and get married to him, you will continue to doubt if your decision was right. And as such, nothing he does will ever satisfy you and to even say this is a 5 year old relationship, makes it even more worrisome. It's obvious both of you have serious issues at hand. Right now you are both forcing yourselves to love each other. After the wedding day reality sets in. It's painful to let a 5 year relationship go down the drain. But it's total devastation to close your eyes to the obvious truth. I married my best friend 15years ago. And that is the only reason my marriage has survived till now. Anything short of marrying your best friend you can truly love in good and bad times and for better and worse is a recipe for disaster. Marriage is not what you see on movies, the reality is different. Please make a good decision now, while you still have time. Cheers. 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Nonydchamp: 7:52am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Each time most ladies contribute financially in a relationship, they want to tell the whole world. Why didn't you create time to make food in the house? |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Richmanlove: 7:54am On Aug 27, 2020 |
My dear do what you think is good now, dont let anybody tell you something contrary to your conviction because at the end if the day is gonna be you and you alone in marriage. My dear marry your friend who understands you. Dont pity him and go for him you will have regret later. Pray God to guide you before you say yes to any man. |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Deborah98(f): 7:59am On Aug 27, 2020 |
You see what from all I have read here,I can comfortably deduce that your guy doesn't love you or Maybe he does but he's nagging, bullying you like you wrote and all that is giving an impression that something is lacking in the relationship, secondly you need to have a taste like what kind of a man do you want,look let me clarify you on this, whatever you can't stop in your relationship probably you won't stop it in marriage, please sit down and ask your self with this attitude of your boyfriend,will you be able to cope with him,cos from all you wrote he isn't that supportive type and when he tries doing it turns out to be fight, however you want to view just know what you want and go for it, good luck. |
| Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by thorpido(m): 7:59am On Aug 27, 2020 |
Luckysbab:
No. Petty men listen to one side of the story and jump into conclusions like idiots. The idiot here should bring the other side of the story. Onye iberibe. |
