Coolabbie:

It shudnt be a yardstick 4 measuring d luv of a man neither does it make d man a sissy 4 choosing 2 be dere. Its all about personal preference. But 4rm wat i hear 4rm married women whose husband were in d labour room wit dem,it serves 2 strengthen d bonds of d marriage.

well people are made to both through different experiences

ZIM DRILL:

do they come to our work places to see how we suffer to put food on the table ?

does it make me less of man if i dont ?

i think am no use in that room that the reason we have nurses and midwifes

OMG!      

I can't belive I just read this!      

In this day and age when some women work more hours than their husbands? When women are 'mandated' to contribute equally financially? You just have to talk about how you 'suffer' to put food on the table!

OMG!  

ZIM DRILL:

explain that

was the pain half shared

D-sense:

Kokoye,Being there doesn't interpret you are sharing her pain . .  .That's the fact most pple ignore.
You can simply share the pain by stying outdoor ''labour room '' praying for her. . . . . . .The ultimate stand!!!
I'm not against being there pending the delievery but the excuses some of you guys frame up are just too skeptic.

Are you guys married and do you have kids? I think not though I may be wrong. Dont not force your opinions or thoughts on me cos I wont force mine on you . . .remember??

It is possible to feel and share someone's pain and that is my opinion.

When my wife or child is in pain, believe it or not - I am in pain as well. whatever affects them will surely affect me.

Back to the labour room, yes I felt her pain, held her hands, calmed her down, prayed and talked to her while she went thru it. Do u think that made her feel a little better? Sure it did!!  According to me and her, that is pain shared.

But then, that is my wife not yours. I dont know how yours will take it.

I am not against any man who does not want to be in the room. I am just speaking for myself and my wife . .not urs pls.

So please do not tell me about me.

According to me, If you show genuine concern for me and offer a helping hand, you are sharing my pain, no matter how little and I will appreciate it.

different comments from the page

I tell my husband that he helped get me pregnant so he is just as responsable as I am about giving birth. So he needs to be in there. I told him also that he wont have to cut the unbilical cord if he is not comfortable. Your husband also needs to be in there to support you because this is his child too. If that wont work then try making a deal with him

My husband and I had the opposite problem, I didn't want him to watch the birth, because I didn't want him to see all that 'stuff'. So, he stayed by my head and held my hand through the labor. He was given our baby first thing, because they had a little work to do on me, and he loved it.

I am appaled that your husband, the father, would not want to be there. He was there to make the baby, he should step up and be a good husband and be there for the delivery. You don't have a choice do you? I think I would put my foot down and tell him that both parents should be there to recieve their child. By the way how old is your husband??

I am in the same boat you are in. My husband wants to wait in the waiting room and I want him in the operating room. I have 2 other children with him, both delivered by c-section and he wasn't there for either of them. Work got in the way of the first one and my mother was with me for the second one. This being my last baby I want him there. My mother tells me that I should just let him make the choice, but the way I look at it is we both made the choice to have another child we should both experience it together. Good Luck with your decision.

My husband and I agree, what a bunch of pansies!! Men love to go on about how tough and manly they are and yet here they are all complaining about weak stomachs and the sight of blood?? What wusses! Are you men or boys?! Proud to be mother of four and wife to a real man who is right there with me through it all!

kokoye:


Are you guys married and do you have kids? I think not though I may be wrong. Dont not force your opinions or thoughts on me cos I wont force mine on you . . .remember??

It is possible to feel and share someone's pain and that is my opinion.

When my wife or child is in pain, believe it or not - I am in pain as well. whatever affects them will surely affect me.

Back to the labour room, yes I felt her pain, held her hands, calmed her down, prayed and talked to her while she went thru it. Do u think that made her feel a little better? Sure it did!! According to me and her, that is pain shared.


But then, that is my wife not yours. I dont know how yours will take it.

I am not against any man who does not want to be in the room. I am just speaking for myself and my wife . .not urs pls.

So please do not tell me about me.

According to me, If you show genuine concern for me and offer a helping hand, you are sharing my pain, no matter how little and I will appreciate it.

pain cant be shared you only imagined what she was going through

have you ever heard of this joke scientist developed a machine that can transfer labour pains to the husband, lady in labour husband by her side the machine is tuned on a 1/4 level and the hubby didnt feel anything then went to half still nothing finally to full still nothing across the road the milk man was screaming --- moral of the joke, pain can be shared

Ujujoan:

OMG!

I can't belive I just read this!

In this day and age when some women work more hours than their husbands? When women are 'mandated' to contribute equally financially? You just have to talk about how you 'suffer' to put food on the table!

OMG!

you are missing the point dont use the feminist agenda to think


there are more man in work than men world wide and mostly men work in dangerous places those who do never ask their wives to acompany them to work inorder for the wife to see how much he suffers for the family

ZIM DRILL:

you are missing the point dont use the feminist agenda to think


there are more man in work than men world wide and mostly men work in dangerous places those who do never ask their wives to acompany them to work inorder for the wife to see how much he suffers for the family

You keep making the blunder!

Whether there are 'more' men 'in work' or not is completely irrelevant. The fact remains that some women work as much as men and provide sometimes even more. Men no longer have the claim of being the sole providers of the family. do such women deserve to be accompanied into the labour room

If a man and a woman work together to get pregnant and the woman carries the pregnancy alone for nine months, I see no reason why the man can't quit being a jerk and accompany her into the labour room. Feminism aside.

And please, let's not start listing the pains women have to go through on their own without asking the men for help! And yet we ask for one thing, and you have the guts to talk about work!

ZIM DRILL:

pain cant be shared you only imagined what she was going through

have you ever heard of this joke scientist developed a machine that can transfer labour pains to the husband, lady in labour husband by her side the machine is tuned on a 1/4 level and the hubby didnt feel anything then went to half still nothing finally to full still nothing across the road the milk man was screaming --- moral of the joke, pain can be shared

That is according to you and your joke.

According to me, If you show genuine concern for me and offer a helping hand, you are sharing my pain, no matter how little.

ZIM DRILL:

pain cant be shared you only imagined what she was going through

have you ever heard of this joke scientist developed a machine that can transfer labour pains to the husband, lady in labour husband by her side the machine is tuned on a 1/4 level and the hubby didnt feel anything then went to half still nothing finally to full still nothing across the road the milk man was screaming --- moral of the joke, pain can be shared

Are you sure you are married

Ujujoan:

You keep making the blunder!

Whether there are 'more' men 'in work' or not is completely irrelevant. The fact remains that some women work as much as men and provide sometimes even more. Men no longer have the claim of being the sole providers of the family. do such women deserve to be accompanied into the labour room

If a man and a woman work together to get pregnant and the woman carries the pregnancy alone for nine months, I see no reason why the man can't quit being a jerk and accompany her into the labour room. Feminism aside.

And please, let's not start listing the pains women have to go through on their own without asking the men for help! And yet we ask for one thing, and you have the guts to talk about work!

like i said dont use the feminism to think yes woman are contributing to families but man in the world do the hard work
and you are the same people who say "you should act like man or be a man meaning get used to all shi.t "while you sit around saying i am a woman

the ALONE you put in bold doesnt make anything special that how nature/god intended that can never be shared between husband and wife nature made that way carry it for 9 months and get used to it

which pain other pain except labour and periods pain that women go through that makes you say WHAT WOMEN GO THROUGH WITHOUT MEN'S HELP

Ujujoan:



Are you sure you are married

does it make any difference

remember am not talking of SHARING as in talking about what you went through am talking of transfer of pain from one person to another

true most of our dads didnt hang around the delivery room, but that's no reason for you not to do it.

best response given

ZIMDRILL:


you are missing the point dont use the feminist agenda to think


there are more man in work than men world wide and mostly men work in dangerous places those who do never ask their wives to acompany them to work inorder for the wife to see how much he suffers for the family

so those "few women" who suffer to put food on the table don't count then?

Mondisweets:
so those "few women" who suffer to put food on the table don't count then?

not in this scenario

ZIMDRILL:


not in this scenario

So women who also labour to put food on the table can always come up with excuses for not doing something for their husbands simply because they get paid too then?

So if your wife decides not to do something for you because she feels she might loose her sexual attraction to you, it would not bother you?

Its funny how other people may think that they deserve partners who love them unconditionally and are willing to compromise for them, yet they cannot be that person for their partner.

I have come across guys who aren't as supportive as the wife will want them to be when she is pregnant and when he gets sick and she is not as compassionate as the guy would expect her to be becauase (when she was pregnant she wasnt the first to get pregnant) he wasnt the first man to fall sick with that disease they cry foul.

If you feel your ego comes before her during a critical time, do not be surprised when she starts putting other things before you. After all you give what you get.

Mondisweets:

So women who also labour to put food on the table can always come up with excuses for not doing something for their husbands simply because they get paid too then?

So if your wife decides not to do something for you because she feels she might loose her sexual attraction to you, it would not bother you?

Its funny how other people may think that they deserve partners who love them unconditionally and are willing to compromise for them, yet they cannot be that person for their partner.

I have come across guys who aren't as supportive as the wife will want them to be when she is pregnant and when he gets sick and she is not as compassionate as the guy would expect her to be becauase (when she was pregnant she wasnt the first to get pregnant) he wasnt the first man to fall sick with that disease they cry foul.

If you feel your ego comes before her during a critical time, do not be surprised when she starts putting other things before you. After all you give what you get.

you are missing the point am saying by nature men do hard work but they dont moan about it they know that there is no two ways about it has to be done to put food on the table

all am saying at this point is that divison of labour was divided by how strong we naturally just like you find a woman who doesnt bother to know how to change the tyre of her car, by the division of labour due to gender who would rather find a passing by man change the tyre for her because he was raised to believe that jobs that need natural streghtn is for men but if she really circumstance for her to change the tyre she will

ZIMDRILL:


you are missing the point am saying by nature men do hard work but they dont moan about it they know that there is no two ways about it has to be done to put food on the table

all am saying at this point is that divison of labour was divided by how strong we naturally just like you find a woman who doesnt bother to know how to change the tyre of her car, by the division of labour due to gender who would rather find a passing by man change the tyre for her because he was raised to believe that jobs that need natural streghtn is for men but if she really circumstance for her to change the tyre she will

The pain of child birth is as intense as breaking 5bones at the same time, so what does that one require? Spiritual strength?

All you are just asked is to be present and help her feel at ease, having at least one face she knows during that critical moment to support and console is all thats needed from your part but you are acting as if its the same as requesting him to walk to pluto and back

Mondisweets:


The pain of child birth is as intense as breaking 5bones at the same time, so what does that one require? Spiritual strength?

All you are just asked is to be present and help her feel at ease, having at least one face she knows during that critical moment to support and console is all thats needed from your part but you are acting as if its the same as requesting him to walk to pluto and back

really if it was that intense women wouldnt give birth twice

anyway am not against the idea of being there if one wishes to be there

but it shouldnt used as way to measure how much i love my wife

some women dont even want there husbands to be there

my point is this some women use it as tool to measure how much she is loved or as way to a man how painful is childbirth , so that the reason i gave the example that how many man take their wives to work to show them how hard is the work they do ? the most likely answer is no why because whether easy or not you must work for your family and there should be any special treatment home because you work so hard because thats what you supposed to do

the same on women who want men to be there during child birth, whether he is there or not in the room it will still be painfull thats how god made it, and him being not there in the room and compare him with your friend's husband doesnt make him a less loving husband, once you start to compare you favour the side you like but it doesnt mean the side you doesnt like doesnt have love they do and they have their own way of showing love but the problem would be you as person you, you want him to show it the way you have seen next door, which is not this natural way of showing love

We express love differently and once you want your partner to change based on a character of someone, the troubles beings

ZIMDRILL:


really if it was that intense women wouldnt give birth twice

stop showing ignorance child labour is that painful but women still give birth anyway. Unlike some people who think they deserve platinum awards simply because they work 40hrs a week and pay half the bills (and the wife is paying the other half).

anyway am not against the idea of being there if one wishes to be there

dont complain if your wife wishes not to take care of you properly when you are sick because she feels she might lose her attraction to you if she does then.

but it shouldnt used as way to measure how much i love my wife

but you can use the number of sacrifices she makes for you as a measure of her love for you right?

some women dont even want there husbands to be there

so because some women don't want their husbands there, other women should automatically want the same thing?

my point is this some women use it as tool to measure how much she is loved or as way to a man how painful is childbirth , so that the reason i gave the example that how many man take their wives to work to show them how hard is the work they do ?

which is very illogical because u cannot compare an 8hr shift to child labour, its not the same thing! Its the 21st century and there are a lot of women who labour to put food on the table but you dont here them making noise about it.

the most likely answer is no why because whether easy or not you must work for your family and there should be any special treatment home because you work so hard because thats what you supposed to do

women are doing both, putting food on the table and giving birth, so why are you trying to make seem like the greatest thing a black man can accomplish is putting food on the table?

the same on women who want men to be there during child birth, whether he is there or not in the room it will still be painfull thats how god made it, and him being not there in the room

Thats because its the need of support that counts the most to her.

and compare him with your friend's husband doesnt make him a less loving husband

If your wife doesnt show you the kind of support you would want her to show u ( be it in your job or achieving your dreams) because she feels you will not die if she doesnt support you, so there is no point in doing so. how would you feel? More loved? more respected?

once you start to compare you favour the side you like but it doesnt mean the side you doesnt like doesnt have love they do and they have their own way of showing love but the problem would be you as person you, you want him to show it the way you have seen next door, which is not this natural way of showing love

so woman can only want something because they saw someone else getting it, not because its something they personally want?

We express love differently and once you want your partner to change based on a character of someone, the troubles beings

So we can safely say its okay for a woman to not show her husband support in achieving his dreams, so long she keeps their house clean the rest really doesn't matter.

Mondisweets:
stop showing ignorance child labour is that painful but women still give birth anyway. Unlike some people who think they deserve platinum awards simply because they work 40hrs a week and pay half the bills (and the wife is paying the other half).

dont complain if your wife wishes not to take care of you properly when you are sick because she feels she might lose her attraction to you if she does then.

but you can use the number of sacrifices she makes for you as a measure of her love for you right?

so because some women don't want their husbands there, other women should automatically want the same thing?

which is very illogical because u cannot compare an 8hr shift to child labour, its not the same thing! Its the 21st century and there are a lot of women who labour to put food on the table but you dont here them making noise about it.

women are doing both, putting food on the table and giving birth, so why are you trying to make seem like the greatest thing a black man can accomplish is putting food on the table?



Thats because its the need of support that counts the most to her.



If your wife doesnt show you the kind of support you would want her to show u ( be it in your job or achieving your dreams) because she feels you will not die if she doesnt support you, so there is no point in doing so. how would you feel? More loved? more respected?

so woman can only want something because they saw someone else getting it, not because its something they personally want?



So we can safely say its okay for a woman to not show her husband support in achieving his dreams, so long she keeps their house clean the rest really doesn't matter.

stop reading between the lines

the basic message is, women shouldnt use it as tools to be shown love

ZIMDRILL:


stop reading between the lines

the basic message is, women shouldnt use it as tools to be shown love

and i say you should never use your wife's unwillingness to support in certain aspects as a measure of her love for you also

Mondisweets:
and i say you should never use your wife's unwillingness to support in certain aspects as a measure of her love for you also

her love for me is shown by things she does wilingly not by making her belief in my idea as she will be doing out duty than out of love

ZIMDRILL:


her love for me is shown by things she does wilingly not by making her belief in my idea as she will be doing out duty than out of love

and if she refuses to take up your surname, because she feels it will out of moral obligation as as opposed to something she actually wants to do?

Mondisweets:
and if she refuses to take up your surname, because she feels it will out of moral obligation as as opposed to something she actually wants to do?

with or with my surname she is still my wife by either married traditionally or civil