Freelane33:
Lol , so there are still people in this part of the world that cares about what people say ? Damn .. bro I don’t care , selfishness is a good thing a normal human being must posses , if you ain’t selfish then you gotta lye down for people to step on .. that’s the only way he can punish that wicked lady . Make money from her first before leaving for good . You don’t need to tell anyone that you’re leaving before you leave .. ....DISAPPEAR ..LEAVE AND LEAVE THE MATH FOR THEM TO SOLVE

which money?
we are talking about 12 solid years!
nobody knew .not your parents neither her parents.not even the child that would be 12 years old.
then everybody gets to know that you are not the father and you knew about this before you even married the girl.i dey laf you for this African society.they will just turn it around that you are a good digger!
then that office you think exist will become something else.
your mother will literarily side the girl against you.
you never jam!
that is when you will realize that money does not buy peace of mind

Hiah local man is mesmerize , amuse ,shock,
If I'm in your shoes
Return the pikin and marry her or not
I'll my chances
I'll marry another person

Read what I wrote very well bruh before quoting me .. I don’t care about the office okay , I’m not going to the office to sleep or stay there throughout my life or inherit the position because it was my great grandpa right . I can never be the op because no woman can try such nonsense with me , before you as a woman start a game , i as a man would have already ended it . Op if you think my advise is good pls follow it , that shitty lady will later shenk you when the real papa comes in . Use her for your own good too because she has used you for her own plan and it’s sailing and get out when you’re fully okay .. TRUST NA MUGUN.. TRUST NO ONE

baralatie:

which money?
we are talking about 12 solid years!
nobody knew .not your parents neither her parents.not even the child that would be 12 years old.
then everybody gets to know that you are not the father and you knew about this before you even married the girl.i dey laf you for this African society.they will just turn it around that you are a good digger!
then that office you think exist will become something else.
your mother will literarily side the girl against you.
you never jam!
that is when you will realize that money does not buy peace of mind

Freelane33:
Read what I wrote very well bruh before quoting me .. I don’t care about the office okay , I’m not going to the office to sleep or stay there throughout my life or inherit the position because it was my great grandpa right . I can never be the op because no woman can try such nonsense with me , before you as a woman start a game , i as a man would have already ended it . Op if you think my advise is good pls follow it , that shitty lady will later shenk you when the real papa comes in . Use her for your own good too because she has used you for her own plan and it’s sailing and get out when you’re fully okay .. TRUST NA MUGUN.. TRUST NO ONE

If she come do born children.for am nko... E go still shenk am .. Go follow the other one.

Vanzetti:
I would make this short as possible .I met my girlfriend when I was in my 300 level. I am her first. I met her when she was 18 years old, seeking admission. She is young and beautiful no doubt one of the reasons I'm attracted to her.

She gained admission in unilag because the school I studied in didn't offer the course she wanted. She gained admission that year I met her I had known her for about 8 months already. I was already in my 400 level as she resumed 100 level. We had asexual relationship also ( I deflowered her tho..)

She got pregnant for me when I was in my in my final year in school. It happened as she came back from school, she decided to drop at my place to spend the night. I never knew she was going to that and I was not prepared, if not I could have used protection that night.She called me after like 1 month to tell me she was pregnant. I love this girl so much.
She came to my place begging me not to deny her saying her elder sister also got pregnant for someone but was denied this made her parents mad. Her father had threatened that she must provide who was responsible. I later agreed and I followed her. The father (he is very rich' a senior oil worker) had promised to deal with me if I end up leaving his daughter after my schooling.

He had informed my parents and traveled down tho.. Arrangements were made that I would wife his daughter.
I had doubts that I was the father all those while but I couldn't voice out. On several occasions when I was on my IT in Lagos, this girl would deny me visit after work but prefers to visit me at her own time. My work was not far from yaba o, either she visits me at home or I only come at night claiming she is busy.

Even when I was in school I dont do night calls. Even decline video calls. As per guy wey I be, I sabi say bodi no be firewood cos I was also doing some outings on my own end.
I stay in Lagos too so I understand the rush in unilag especially for year 1 considering her beauty and nice body.

FFWD she gave birth to a girl tho. I just had to accept it but still had my doubts. I could not even tell my mom because she knew of our relationship and might tag me stupid. I had made it in mind after my schooling I would do a DNA test.

I saved some money after service and I could have gotten married this year. I took my daughter which I had already lived secretly to the hospital when I was sick claiming that I wanted her to accompany me. My daughter is already 4 years.
The result came out and she is not mine. I ran the test in another hospital same result. I confronted her and she was in tears, she told me that she was confused and didn't know who the father was, that I was the better option. She had a boyfriend in Unilag who was about 18 years and the sane level with her. She had sex with him before coming back and landed in my place and also had with me. She was ignorant.
Her father threatened her that she most provide the person and there us no where for her to go because I was close by. And she thought u should be the one..she wasn't sure.

The bone of contention here is I already like my daughter and my girlfriend though I'm still very bad. But i have been with her after most if the times after she had given birth. She is in her fathers house.
The father has plans already and I to start work at Mobil in Eket. Following arrangements to marry his daughter he has only two girls and doesn't want them to carry children both without fathers .
I still dont know what to do, should I cancel everything and tell the father? considering the trauma I faced as a students and inconveniences I had while in school.
Will she be a faithful person in future? Will she use it against me?
Do I get her pregnant and speed up with the marriage procedures?
I dont want to regret at the end. My mother won't like it if she knows that the girl is not mine and won't consider her as her grandchild.

Modified: I appreciate your contributions as I am beginning to analyze a lot.

Some friends here and outside has adviced me that I should make it open to the family. If I want to marry her because she left school after pregnancy then I can go ahead and get married to her as someone who gets married to someone with a child already.

She has been on my neck since... She says shee was young and naive that she loves me more. I had been with her all this while. She told me tgat we can have other children also.
I have asked her of the father, she says she doesn't know of his whereabouts anymore. That she never even knew the paternity and thought I'm the one.

My daughter on the other hand loves me so much and my mother likes her a lot.
I still love her tho.. Even tho I had my doubts.
I had already packed to resume work this month.

I'm still confused.

This is some really deep sh!t!

Freelane33:
Read what I wrote very well bruh before quoting me .. I don’t care about the office okay , I’m not going to the office to sleep or stay there throughout my life or inherit the position because it was my great grandpa right . I can never be the op because no woman can try such nonsense with me , before you as a woman start a game , i as a man would have already ended it . Op if you think my advise is good pls follow it , that shitty lady will later shenk you when the real papa comes in . Use her for your own good too because she has used you for her own plan and it’s sailing and get out when you’re fully okay .. TRUST NA MUGUN.. TRUST NO ONE

you want op! to
marry the girl because of job o for 8 years!

for 8 years deny any further child in that marriage.

the child calling you Daddy for 12 years and oh for your mind that smile to that child na make she die

you people never knew for 12 years her people never knew for 12 years

one day every body gets to know but you have absconded thinking you have money.you are now denying mama and pickin


well who am i.everybody is not the same.
it is just that when you are privileged to hear all kinds of family squabbles in church counselling with and family meetings from Islamic homes by imams.and you see the efforts required to stabilize the home.i would not advise the op to even try the path above me.
a stitch in time saves nine.
that a mistake happened and one got careless does not mean the end of the world.
op let your parents and her parents know the truth and from there you both can decide to marry or not.

Keep everything down, marry the girl, love your daughter, get more children from her.

She was not whoring around, just a teenage fling. I believe she can be a faithful wife

Are you fool If you keep this within you and marry this girl ..I swear she go still cheat with you ... This girl don't love you as you claim and this dey vex me .. she wouldn't never allow you to come and meet her in school because she have already have another boyfriend chop her keptus you was just bombastic element to cover the shame of the poor girl ... I want you to do this to day ok ....Go and explain everything to your parents and later call the girl to come and explain to her you we marry her unless if she promise to stop her wayward cuz if she love you the poor girl wouldn't go have sex with another boy and come meet you again ... As I dey talk ..your parents and you go meet her parents expcially mother and explain to her ..let the girl parent No say no be your daughter ...E get reason forget about promise ..If you don't do all this things I told you..I swear is going to end up with tears ... I insult you cuz it's really upset cuz you want the lady to manipulate you

Bro

Show her parents the result and move on!

Ignore whatever attachment u have for the little girl, u go still get ur own pikin, save that attachment for your future child

As for helping u get a job, forget it, u dont want to live a life you will regret especially when your means of livelihood is tied to such a family and wayward/heartless liar

You know where God wan carry u reach sef?...U wan chook head for nonsense cos of job...please run fast and find urself a decent woman, also hustle and pray for your own breakthrough....peace of mind is very important in life

All of you saying "if you really love her" in the first page, are you guys Fvcking serious now? WTF is love without trust? like there's some decisions one shouldn't even be found contemplating on like this one. she gave you a bastard already and as if that wasn't enough, you're still thinking to go ahead with the marriage citing "Love" as a factor.

No walaha. na you Sabi Sha. God knows my family will disown any man who tries this shit and still thinking of marrying that whôre.

tunjilana:
Bro

Show her parents the result and move on!

Ignore whatever attachment u have for the little girl, u go still get ur own pikin, save that attachment for your future child

As for helping u get a job, forget it, u dont want to live a life you will regret especially when your means of livelihood is tied to such a family and wayward/heartless liar

You know where God wan carry u reach sef?...U wan chook head for nonsense cos of job...please run fast and find urself a decent woman, also hustle and pray for your own breakthrough....peace of mind is very important in life

well said brother. the last thing I'd ever accept from anyone is from my girl's family. wether job or connections, e get why!

as an egoistic man I hate see finish for this life from anyone close to me because they "gave" me a job. na from my own family or friends I fit accept connect. can't accept job from my in-laws so that make Dem no get any leverage over me and by so doing, they can get the middle finger if they step beyond boundaries.

Vanzetti:



Okay. What happens if she goes on to bear more children for me. I love the girl so much and she has been in tears since.

I just need an answer, what if she bears more children for me. Do I still stand at a disadvantage?

For the fact that I'm not the father, the other guy has right if he eventually knows because he was on no account confronted. He can come later and fight the child out from me.

In our culture and under the law that child born out of wedlock belongs to the family of the girl, her father to be precise and he can beaquath her to her future husband.

If you think you are in love with her and have decided to marry her let her family be aware of the child, tell them you are marrying her with the child and do the traditional rites, no other man will ever come to claim her even if he is her biological father.
My friend just got married to a single mother recently and the community officially gave the child to him as his child after presenting some items to them according to local tradition.
That girl has been through a lot emotionally and the chances of her becoming promiscuous in future is very slim and she seems to be in love with you.
I don't care about the job but ask yourself if you can build a happy home with her

Hmmm ..
Vanzetti, what's the update?

Guyman02:


In our culture and under the law that child born out of wedlock belongs to the family of the girl, her father to be precise and he can beaquath her to her future husband.

If you think you are in love with her and have decided to marry her let her family be aware of the child, tell them you are marrying her with the child and do the traditional rites, no other man will ever come to claim her even if he is her biological father.
My friend just got married to a single mother recently and the community officially gave the child to him as his child after presenting some items to them according to local tradition.
That girl has been through a lot emotionally and the chances of her becoming promiscuous in future is very slim and she seems to be in love with you.
I don't care about the job but ask yourself if you can build a happy home with her

Wait till the rela father shows with court papers...seeking to claim his child

And if the court orders paternity test to confirm if he is the biological father, reduse to release the kid for such test

And when paternity is established and court grants him visitation rights as long as he his willing to play the father role, also stop him from doing that

The law is the law and as far as the law is concerned, no one can stop a WILLING biological father from accessing his child except you can prove that he poses a threat to the child

The community that handed over the child to him l, are they some sort of adoption agency? ...

Vanzetti:
I would make this short as possible .I met my girlfriend when I was in my 300 level. I am her first. I met her when she was 18 years old, seeking admission. She is young and beautiful no doubt one of the reasons I'm attracted to her.

She gained admission in unilag because the school I studied in didn't offer the course she wanted. She gained admission that year I met her I had known her for about 8 months already. I was already in my 400 level as she resumed 100 level. We had asexual relationship also ( I deflowered her tho..)

She got pregnant for me when I was in my in my final year in school. It happened as she came back from school, she decided to drop at my place to spend the night. I never knew she was going to that and I was not prepared, if not I could have used protection that night.She called me after like 1 month to tell me she was pregnant. I love this girl so much.
She came to my place begging me not to deny her saying her elder sister also got pregnant for someone but was denied this made her parents mad. Her father had threatened that she must provide who was responsible. I later agreed and I followed her. The father (he is very rich' a senior oil worker) had promised to deal with me if I end up leaving his daughter after my schooling.

He had informed my parents and traveled down tho.. Arrangements were made that I would wife his daughter.
I had doubts that I was the father all those while but I couldn't voice out. On several occasions when I was on my IT in Lagos, this girl would deny me visit after work but prefers to visit me at her own time. My work was not far from yaba o, either she visits me at home or I only come at night claiming she is busy.

Even when I was in school I dont do night calls. Even decline video calls. As per guy wey I be, I sabi say bodi no be firewood cos I was also doing some outings on my own end.
I stay in Lagos too so I understand the rush in unilag especially for year 1 considering her beauty and nice body.

FFWD she gave birth to a girl tho. I just had to accept it but still had my doubts. I could not even tell my mom because she knew of our relationship and might tag me stupid. I had made it in mind after my schooling I would do a DNA test.

I saved some money after service and I could have gotten married this year. I took my daughter which I had already lived secretly to the hospital when I was sick claiming that I wanted her to accompany me. My daughter is already 4 years.
The result came out and she is not mine. I ran the test in another hospital same result. I confronted her and she was in tears, she told me that she was confused and didn't know who the father was, that I was the better option. She had a boyfriend in Unilag who was about 18 years and the sane level with her. She had sex with him before coming back and landed in my place and also had with me. She was ignorant.
Her father threatened her that she most provide the person and there us no where for her to go because I was close by. And she thought u should be the one..she wasn't sure.

The bone of contention here is I already like my daughter and my girlfriend though I'm still very bad. But i have been with her after most if the times after she had given birth. She is in her fathers house.
The father has plans already and I to start work at Mobil in Eket. Following arrangements to marry his daughter he has only two girls and doesn't want them to carry children both without fathers .
I still dont know what to do, should I cancel everything and tell the father? considering the trauma I faced as a students and inconveniences I had while in school.
Will she be a faithful person in future? Will she use it against me?
Do I get her pregnant and speed up with the marriage procedures?
I dont want to regret at the end. My mother won't like it if she knows that the girl is not mine and won't consider her as her grandchild.

Modified: I appreciate your contributions as I am beginning to analyze a lot.

Some friends here and outside has adviced me that I should make it open to the family. If I want to marry her because she left school after pregnancy then I can go ahead and get married to her as someone who gets married to someone with a child already.

She has been on my neck since... She says shee was young and naive that she loves me more. I had been with her all this while. She told me tgat we can have other children also.
I have asked her of the father, she says she doesn't know of his whereabouts anymore. That she never even knew the paternity and thought I'm the one.

My daughter on the other hand loves me so much and my mother likes her a lot.
I still love her tho.. Even tho I had my doubts.
I had already packed to resume work this month.

I'm still confused.

The job wey d papa wey offer u don blind ur eyes... it will end in tears later on bro.... bcus one tin go lead to another o

tunjilana:



Wait till the rela father shows with court papers...seeking to claim his child

And if the court orders paternity test to confirm if he is the biological father, reduse to release the kid for such test

And when paternity is established and court grants him visitation rights as long as he his willing to play the father role, also stop him from doing that

The law is the law and as far as the law is concerned, no one can stop a WILLING biological father from accessing his child except you can prove that he poses a threat to the child

The community that handed over the child to him l, are they some sort of adoption agency? ...

Court does not recognise biology in marriage, you can as well legally adopt a child and the biological father cannot claim him/her.
Under customary law such as Igbo culture the family can hand over the child to her husband as long as you are not married to her and didn't perform the rites you can't claim the child and the courts also consider native laws except where it overrides the constitution

You can't legally adopt a child without the birth parent except where they are not known or unwilling to accept that they are the father(not marrying the mother isnt enough to say they have given up paternity, also u cant easily prove that the father is unwilling, all he needs to do is show up one day)....so adoption is almost impossible without some forgery or impersonation

Also the lconstitutional aw on parental right supercedes customary law when it relates to right to fatherhood and motherhood via birth. The only time such right is taken away is after legal adoption has happened.

Guyman02:


Court does not recognise biology in marriage, you can as well legally adopt a child and the biological father cannot claim him/her.
Under customary law such as Igbo culture the family can hand over the child to her husband as long as you are not married to her and didn't perform the rites you can't claim the child and the courts also consider native laws except where it overrides the constitution

You can't legally adopt a child without the birth parent except where they are not known or unwilling to accept that they are the father(not marrying the mother isnt enough to say they have given up paternity, also u cant easily prove that the father is unwilling, all he needs to do is show up one day)....so adoption is almost impossible without some forgery or impersonation

Also the lconstitutional aw on parental right supercedes customary law when it relates to right to fatherhood and motherhood via birth. The only time such right is taken away is after legal adoption has happened.