If you're here, i congratulate you. This is a big step and i hope i make every part of it worthwhile.

We live in a world where many rape cases pop up here and there - with a majority of victims, being women.

There is something called 'CONSENT'.

Rape is basically sexual intercourse without consent or with incorrectly obtained consent. You may be asking yourself

What then is consent?

Well, consent is a voluntary approval of something - in this case, sex!

I will be revealing what it is in detail soon, so you use it to guide your sex life. This article will focus heavily on women but does not mean men cannot take something from it.


Continued in the comments

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1. Consent Is Not Automatic

If you're in a relationship with someone, the fact that you cuddle and kiss that person does not in any way mean you are ready for sex.

Do not let anyone guilt trip you, you can only have sex when you approve it.

As a woman, if you're in a relationship with a man. He caresses you, kisses you and you respond - this is fine.

But if he forces himself into your pants even when you do not approve - it is rape (the kissing doesn't give an instant gateway)

2. Consent Can Be Revoked

When a man and a woman is in a relationship, anyone can choose to back out in the middle of sexual intercourse.

We are not robots, the fact you agreed in the first place does not mean you cannot change your mind.

If you are having sex with someone, and you choose to back out - but he/she still chooses to be forceful and overpowers you into sex you did not permit

That is legally rape.

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3. Consent Cannot Be Given By An Underaged

The legal age of consent in Nigeria is 18.

This means anyone younger is not in the right state of saying who they should sleep with or not.

If you're younger than 18, don't be misled by anyone who says you're old enough to have sex - you could just be an early victim of abuse.

4. Consent Is Voluntary

There are men that think sleeping with a drunk woman is right - in as much as she agrees.

Here's the thing, if it is given under influence of drugs or alcohol - it does not count.

A right frame of mind must be established before anything else. This is why heavy drinking is not adviced in any setting (it increases the chances of being abused)

If you must have sex, make sure you're stable and not forced in any way or threatened.

5. Consent Changes With Time

Probably you and your partner used to indulge in anal sex or oral.

You can choose to not want to have it again, because your preference may have changed.

If at all, anyone still tries to force you into what you no longer want, that is like you have guessed an attempt of rape.

Guys, take note of this - don't get yourself into trouble.

Men who don't understand consent can legally rape their partners and receive life imprisonment for just a lack of understanding.

The fact you kiss her frequently doesn't mean a day will come when you must have your way.

nwaezeemmanuel:
1. Consent Is Not Automatic

If you're in a relationship with someone, the fact that you cuddle and kiss that person does not in any way mean you are ready for sex.

Do not let anyone guilt trip you, you can only have sex when you approve it.

As a woman, if you're in a relationship with a man. He caresses you, kisses you and you respond - this is fine.

But if he forces himself into your pants even when you do not approve - it is rape (the kissing doesn't give an instant gateway)

6. Consent Is Needed In Marriages

That's right! Many countries and some parts of Nigeria recognise marital rape.

Meaning a man can rape his wife, i know many will disagree but it happens - same way, a man can abuse his wife by hitting her.

Of course, some husbands can be raped by their wives (it happens)

If you're married, make sure each time you have sex with your spouse it is not abusive or forced - for the sake of the law

Globally, sex with an underaged is considered paedophilia and has serious consequences.

Underaged girls are incapable of giving consent and many do not handle sex well, with some bleeding heavily or passing out after sex.

nwaezeemmanuel:
3. Consent Cannot Be Given By An Underaged

The legal age of consent in Nigeria is 18.

This means anyone younger is not in the right state of saying who they should sleep with or not.

If you're younger than 18, don't be misled by anyone who says you're old enough to have sex - you could just be an early victim of abuse.

7. Consent Is Not Implied

Here's a good example.

A lady dressed half naked may not necessarily be looking for a hook-up or one night stand.

Thinking that she wants sex by the way she is dressed is not right. If there is no clear approval, do not make assumptions.

Life imprisonment is a big deal.

8. Consent Should Not Be Breeched

Let's say you agree with your partner that you will have sex on one condition that he wears condom.

And while you are not looking, he starts and goes on without wearing condoms - consent has been breeched!

You need to make sure your conditions are met, and that you're not being deceived or tricked at any point in time.

nwaezeemmanuel:
7. Consent Is Not Implied

Here's a good example.

A lady dressed half naked may not necessarily be looking for a hook-up or one night stand.

Thinking that she wants sex by the way she is dressed is not right. If there is no clear approval, do not make assumptions.

Life imprisonment is a big deal.

This is so true,I intern in a fashion house. OMG if you see the kinda wears woman wear it takes one with moral and code of conduct too overlook woman . All in all Rape is evil.

That is all i can pour from my head.

I hope some of this made sense at least. If you're a woman or man and may have been abused before now, don't keep it to yourself

There are regulations in Nigeria to help you like:

The Penal Code
Criminal Law of Lagos
Criminal Code
Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act

Like

I stare occasionally, but i try to control myself and remember that she may like to dress that way or that could be her style.

It would be wild if i assume she wants to have sex badly - rape is definitely evil!

youngking22:

This is so true,I intern in a fashion house. OMG if you see the kinda wears woman wear it takes one with moral and code of conduct too overlook woman . All in all Rape is evil.

If you use Instagram, here are handles of NGOs tackling gender based violence, rape actively!

Women At Risk International Foundation

https://instagram.com/warif_ng?igshid=xzml09ze2bo6


Mirabel Centre Nigeria

https://instagram.com/mirabelcentreng?igshid=1ovz87lpnfqcy


They attend to both male and female.

To everyone viewing, please make sure there is voluntary approval in every aspect of sex - should you be involved in any!

I pray you will not trend online for negative news.

It is very easy to abuse anybody, but if you understand consent - you're covered.

nwaezeemmanuel:
Like

I stare occasionally, but i try to control myself and remember that she may like to dress that way or that could be her style.

It would be wild if i assume she wants to have sex badly - rape is definitely evil!

And woman are not helping matters oooo, you will hear I don't have bum-bum , I will wear nyash, I will show all these guy pepper ahhhhhh aunty be calming down.

Of course, some ladies are very extravagant in their dressing and want to be noticed.

I personally think a woman can be noticed without showing her parts - it's not necessary and attracts unwanted attention.

youngking22:

And woman are not helping matters oooo, you will hear I don't have bum-bum , I will wear nyash, I will show all these guy pepper ahhhhhh aunty be calming down.

If you liked this post, feel free to check this other one i published some days ago.

It's not so sophisticated, but has some things i feel may help people with their sex life.

https://www.nairaland.com/6168647/before-sex-advice-first-timers

nwaezeemmanuel:
Of course, some ladies are very extravagant in their dressing and want to be noticed.

I personally think a woman can be noticed without showing her parts - it's not necessary and attracts unwanted attention.

well, it all boils down too the fact that if we guys will stop sexualizing woman, and accept them for the delicate creature there are, Rape could stop.

Going through Nairaland, i will say there is a lot of work to be done.

Many guys here sexualise women

youngking22:

well, it all boils down too the fact that if we guys will stop sexualizing woman, and accept them for the delicate creature there are, Rape could stop.