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Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? - Family (16) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Sixfeetbelle: 5:01pm On Nov 18, 2020
omooba969:


On this thread, niqqur explained why he legged it without notice - can't remember the page.

So he explained after she had already called him out?

Mr. Omooba, is this how your relationships work?
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Decimus: 5:01pm On Nov 18, 2020
Michdaf:
You are the only person that understand what happened. I have even admit it. After that I couldn't get myself to talk to her. Though, it was only because I couldn't give her money then. what I was going through and her issue here on nl, made just give her a break.

I understand you bro. It's good now that you are ready to correct your mistake, that lady is a gem and she doesn't deserve such treatment from you. Since she's not picking your calls, text her to send you her account number so you can wire her account. She also said you are a civil servant, maybe you should place her on a certain percentage of your salary, like 35%.
If she refuse to send her account number, go and drop the money at her doorstep.

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by denvers: 5:01pm On Nov 18, 2020
this op dey find maga, continue you will surely find one .
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by lkillbrokehoes: 5:02pm On Nov 18, 2020
pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

Hmmmmm
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Sixfeetbelle: 5:03pm On Nov 18, 2020
Splitmind:


I see you're unfamiliar with the concept of covert contracts.

She wants him to do something for her but won't say it to maintain plausible deniability. Women do this all the time, urgent 2k, money for hair, do giveaway seen it all before. He'll come back when she's tired of messing around.

You're working an assumptions and only an insecure man thrives on that. As far as she didn't bill you, ghosting her and then showing up when she's no longer broke shows a "fair weather" fellow in action. Only present when things are rosy in your life.
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Nobody: 5:04pm On Nov 18, 2020
Decimus:


I understand you bro. It's good now that you are ready to correct your mistake, that lady is a gem and she doesn't deserve such treatment from you. Since she's not picking your calls, text her to send you her account number so you can wire her account. She also said you are a civil servant, maybe you should place her on a certain percentage of your salary, like 35%.
If she refuse to send her account number, go and drop the money at her doorstep.


Lol... You are a clown..

2 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Rockeet: 5:06pm On Nov 18, 2020
Michdaf:
Is not like my destiny is tied to her, she is a very nice lady. Forget everything people are talking about her. After I sorted myself out, I thought she would be angry with me( which she have every right to) and won't want to talk to me again, that was why it was up to this moment.

100% husband material. How I wish my kid Sis isn't married yet, phew she don become urs foc wink

Realistically I see 2 people who are more than friends and the lady has been expecting the guy up his game and take things to the next stage she throw the test at him to charge him. You guys should drop the ego, stop the blame game and let us know when you're tying the knot.

I want wedding pictures even if I can't be in attendance or wouldn't mind attending via zoom cool
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by omooba969(m): 5:06pm On Nov 18, 2020
Michdaf:
You are the only person that understand what happened. I have even admit it. After that I couldn't get myself to talk to her. Though, it was only because I couldn't give her money then. what I was going through and her issue here on nl, made just give her a break.

Are you under any obligation to give her money - Mr Nice guy. undecided

3 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Nobody: 5:06pm On Nov 18, 2020
CalliDora1:



Helloooo.. what do you mean by did she ask? Ask for what exactly? All I want to know is why he stopped calling and chatting and not why he didn't offer to help or not. Please!
Stories.. why didn't u call him to find out. Nairaland done turn shrine/ temple wey anybody can come to find what's happening to others?
You want to know why he stopped calling/ chatting then the normal thing to do is to ask him. Not coming here to paint him bad with ur baseless assumptions. Try being more practical about real life issues next time.

7 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by lkillbrokehoes: 5:08pm On Nov 18, 2020
purples25:
NL MEET UP? NL RELATIONSHIP?

MOST OF THEM BELIEVE ALL WOMEN ARE BEGGARS, LIARS AND PRETENDERS. SOME OF THEM ONLY BEFRIEND YOU TO COME BACK HERE TO INSULT YOU AND REVEAL YOUR PERSONAL DETAILS. YOU WERE UNLUCKY THIS TIME BUT NOT ALL ARE BAD.

STILL, BE CAREFUL! THIS IS WHAT MOST OF THEM DO. A LOT OF THEM ( NOT ALL ) ARE BITTER AND SEVERELY BIASED AND OUT TO ' EXPOSE' WHAT NEVER OCCURRED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

SORRY DEAR.
Lol dis one have been exposed here, Fakeass! cheesy
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by omooba969(m): 5:08pm On Nov 18, 2020
Sixfeetbelle:


So he explained after she had already called him out?

Mr. Omooba, is this how your relationships work?

My relationship?? Well NL girls are not ready for me yet.

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Michdaf: 5:09pm On Nov 18, 2020
Decimus:


I understand you bro. It's good now that you are ready to correct your mistake, that lady is a gem and she doesn't deserve such treatment from you. Since she's not picking your calls, text her to send you her account number so you can wire her account. She also said you are a civil servant, maybe you should place her on a certain percentage of your salary, like 35%.
If she refuse to send her account number, go and drop the money at her doorstep.
Ok good. For those calling slow, I had something with her then, is just that I messes up. Am ready to do what it takes. I don't judge people. She is a very nice girl and will make a good wife. Am not saying this to get her good side but is the truth. Am not a simp. Have been different relationship so I can tell.
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Mypeople2(m): 5:09pm On Nov 18, 2020
Tadeknkeepcalm:

After his empathy and constant apology, you conclude he assumed you're a "failure". Like how? Seriously how? Why didn't you try to call him afterwards to see if he would still pull away? Abi did both of you make a pact that he should be the one doing the calling?
Ask the babe if she ever called the guy .They will never call and ask him if he has eaten ...na guy dey call babe ..Later they will be saying we are all equal ..Trash !
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by abbatoir(m): 5:09pm On Nov 18, 2020
pocohantas:


People ask that question out of concern, not because they want to open a fast food kitchen for you. Just good ol concern. If you don’t like it, open your mouth and tell him to stop asking you.

We are here to talk about what he thinks, which prompted his actions- not what I think.

Once again, I never said you are guilty. I said you are a victim of stereotyping. You are quite presumptuous...

Gracias

You will be very good at law..
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by omooba969(m): 5:10pm On Nov 18, 2020
[s]
lkillbrokehoes:
Lol dis one have been exposed here, Fakeass!
[/s]

Abeg leave purples25 alone o - abeg!
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by spiralwedge(m): 5:11pm On Nov 18, 2020
CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.


You both are not intelligent enough to keep up conversations. Imagine, "have you eaten?" What the fvck is that?
Both of you dont have wide interests, exposure to talk about? If you did, there would be no need for assumptions or false expectations, and there would be normal natural flow.
I have to conclude that you both fit each other. Otherwise, you would have blocked him long ago. If he couldn't keep up a conversation, what about you?

2 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Sarita01(f): 5:11pm On Nov 18, 2020
Sixfeetbelle:


Yeah yeah. We know he jakpad to avoid being billed but he came back. Explain that.
If you ask me na who I go ask,I can't make deductions about the guy from her own point of view alone cos everyone likes to paint themselves in a likeable light,but based on what she wrote,it seems the guy came back for his already made independent missing rib(cos she said her business is now thriving),buy we won't know if that's the real truth until we listen from both sides,right now we can only work with her own story.
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by abbatoir(m): 5:11pm On Nov 18, 2020
slawormiir:
damnnn niggarrrr
Isoright.....i put on my intellectual cap reading between lines as I perused through the op write up while blazing my weed

And i must confess

All i see here is two smart people
Nigga..
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Decimus: 5:11pm On Nov 18, 2020
CalliDora1:



Lol... You are a clown..
Don't pick his call yet. The longer you delay it and put him in suspense, the higher the reward.

Nigga be like 'please pick my calls' for market square o

6 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by lkillbrokehoes: 5:12pm On Nov 18, 2020
omooba969:
[s][/s]

Abeg leave purples25 alone o - abeg!
Run off boy, if she wasn't exposed here she won't type dat trash
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by purples25(f): 5:13pm On Nov 18, 2020
omooba969:


What do you think we need?

Harmless question though. smiley

Everybody needs emotional love.....until marriage. That's it. grin
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by luminouz(m): 5:14pm On Nov 18, 2020
Sixfeetbelle:


Poco does not stand for many girls though
She ain't the only one, just the earliest!!

1 Like

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by abbatoir(m): 5:14pm On Nov 18, 2020
MrCover:
You met the wrong guy

I agree with you...Man is designed to be generous




Their is a thin line between generousity and mugu

2 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by purples25(f): 5:16pm On Nov 18, 2020
omooba969:
[s][/s]

Abeg leave purples25 alone o - abeg!

Lol leave him. Fake for what? Fake for wearing make up ? And then presenting myself with none offline, when asked for my identity for a job? Lol they have done their worst, let him talk.

I'm still wearing the same shirt the guy posted here that day on my profile, cuz i have nothing to hide. A picture taken from that day on my profile....my normal face. Leave him, let him talk . cheesy

I'm not ashamed of my face nor complexion nor assets.
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Nobody: 5:16pm On Nov 18, 2020
Sixfeetbelle:


So invariably you're admitting the guy jumped into conclusions, which he shouldn't have if he truly cared about her. And if money was his problem, shouldn't he have waited to at least have been billed before disappearing?

And if he is to be forgiven for ghosting her, why is he back? Does he suddenly now have money to feed her?

By the way, she didn't have to tell him she was fasting. My doctrine forbids you from telling people you're fasting especially if it's a personal convenant between you and God.

My dear, God bless your soul. You seem to get the drift of things here. Wonder how some people reason.
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Michdaf: 5:16pm On Nov 18, 2020
omooba969:


Are you under any obligation to give her money - Mr Nice guy. undecided
No, am not. You may think of me any how you want, but she didn't ask me for anything. When you like someone and you see that person going through a situation, won't you in any way assist. I have given money to people that are hungry that I don't have any emotional feelings with, so if I felt disturb not being able to meet up with the need of someone I have feelings that is steady growing, I don't think am a simp or any thing.

1 Like

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by omooba969(m): 5:17pm On Nov 18, 2020
[s]
lkillbrokehoes:
Run off boy, if she wasn't exposed here she won't type dat trash
[/s]

Be careful!

1 Like

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by durasome(m): 5:17pm On Nov 18, 2020
R0kstarr8:
This aunty no well o.. why would u test a guy that way if I'm the one I would even block u why would you say u haven't eaten for days and no reason for it, u wanna bill him.. if he send u money now u will collect abi.. you just pained that Ur format didn't work, Ole!, girls this days are not to be trusted I like that guy way.. u can quote me if u felt otherwise
.exactlymy thought if the guy had sent you money would you have returned it saying you don't need it?your strategy to milk him didn't work and you are here look for like minds like yours who would not reason properly before passing judgment. It will have rather been proper if I ask a friend have you eaten and if I get a no answer then I ask why and I get a nothing reply then I would start wiring money because am CBN.don't crucify him because you didn't ask for help and since you didn't get it,it's not his fault.

1 Like

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by lkillbrokehoes: 5:19pm On Nov 18, 2020
omooba969:


[Size=14pt]Be careful![/size]
U no get work abi? only u is following 35 females, run along boy!

3 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by omooba969(m): 5:21pm On Nov 18, 2020
Michdaf:
No, am not. You may think of me any how you want, but she didn't ask me for anything. When you like someone and you see that person going through a situation, won't you in any way assist. I have given money to people that are hungry that I don't have any emotional feelings with, so if I felt disturb not being able to meet up with the need of someone I have feelings that is steady growing, I don't think am a simp or any thing.

Damage control... grin chai this guy!
Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Decimus: 5:21pm On Nov 18, 2020
Michdaf:
Ok good. For those calling slow, I had something with her then, is just that I messes up. Am ready to do what it takes. I don't judge people. She is a very nice girl and will make a good wife. Am not saying this to get her good side but is the truth. Am not a simp. Have been different relationship so I can tell.

Correct guy. Now you have to appease the goddess, so she can at least pick pick your calls.
Send some money to her so she can 'pump' it into her business.

Open a BTC wallet for her too and send her abroad for Masters next year.
People don't value what they have until they lose it, please don't make her sad again.

A story went viral yesterday, about a Knight that trained a lady through Nursing school, they are happily married now, i can see same thing about to happen here.

14 Likes

Re: Why Did He Do This? I Need To Understand Why Some Act This Way. Is It Right? by Nobody: 5:22pm On Nov 18, 2020
omooba969:


Looks like the chap is SLOW. angry

Nope. You are the slow one here. I won't have you talk about him like that. Ok?

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