You can completely blame him
Wahala too much for man on a daily basis
To be honest he messed up though but I'm sure if it's a girl he truly have feelings for he'll ask why she's not eaten even though he's got nothing to assist her with

That man is the only man on Earth who has successfully dodged a stray bullet and at being dragged for dodging it

If you know you know

usb2016:

I know He must be a Typical Yoruba gold digger , that is how they behave looking for an independent lady to depend on . Please just block his ass and move on with your hustle. Ndi Ofe ose!!!

Nwa nna, o kwa han. Ike guru.

pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

sensible woman.

CalliDora1:


My dear. @bolded is my thoughts because he resumed the question this morning again.

Sugar what?.. this person I'm telling you is a MAN as in very mature guy and from all indications he's not a play boy. But why he pulled that stunt at the last minute was what got me upset and worried.

I'm thinking whether to download all he did to him and how I see it or just block him.

I don't want to appear wicked or rude but my interest is no longer there.

I think there's something missing in your story

The guy doesn't want bad energy, he also sensed you're lying

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

Abadon that guy,
im here for you

i sent a pm

CalliDora1:


Lol.. you see my life? I'm not reasoning anything o. Just looking for a diplomatic way to ghost him because I know he'll want to come with bro stunts. He might want to come and start using sharing of Bible tactics for me and if I ignore, e go be like say person don chop winch. So want be very diplomatic and polite as possible.

Okay, understood.

Switch to the below when responding to his messages-

aiit
kk
kkk
Cool
Lol
Tenks

Etc. I believe that is diplomatic and polite enough. Hin body go tell am.

CalliDora1:


This is not a matter of being presumtious. it is very glaring he's a fair wheather friend and I think I'm done.

women...always adding emotions to everything... your friends have given you advice na.

pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

Aptly put!

pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

I wonder if na two people dey operate this pocohantas account sometimes.. not because your submission suits me but because it is very logical..

Girl when I been dey broke na so meself been dey run away from little demands from girls...

Ha, I'm laughing right now. You shot yourself my dearest sister. There are a lot of ways to test him, if he truly like you & you want both to live together. By telling him you're fasting for 3days and still not resume to work, Don't you know majorities of guy don't want a liability nowadays.

for example, look at the rate of newly couples wed every Saturday, it has gone down gann. That's to tell you, people are doing low-key wedding sitting room wedding, or some will just invite u for naming ceremony, and you will be wondering how come.

The truth to be told, nobody want to date a jobless lady or guy, but in other hand, you need to calm down cos some couple are meant for each other to reach their successful height.

Don't test a guy or gal. If you see, you don't like their current situation, I implore you, don't ever talk of love cos it won't enter ear.

CalliDora1:



Lol..@bolded.. I don't blame you. Poco don give you something talk, shey? 2k kor. Why would I ask my supposed man for 2k if i want to stock up my pantry? Abi because of small lockdown everyone want to dey reason themselves anyhow? please don't reason me like that.

2k is just a slang for monetary favours requested by ladies as soon as you start chatting with them. It is our experience not Poco's words. We can spot it from a mile before it comes. Guy man spotted it. It's nobody's fault. We are all trying to survive.

pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

DONT MIND HER, she has watched too much Nolly wood... you are absolutely right because the guy has codedly told her that he cant do "urgent 2k" with the lines

"he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help"

.

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

please i dont understand this issue of

"i wanted to test him"

why does she want to test a friend? why? abi na tiktok trend? If not that the lady in question also get ulterior motives of turning the gentle man into "urgent 2k" disposing machine. Here we have her try to console her conscience like the entitled brat that she is

"Look, my kind of person, if I want to ask for something, I won't beat about. Ill go straight and ask because[b] I believe[/b] we are friends and can share things."

Dear CalliDora1 dont "beat about" it and just tell him you are not interested in any intimate relationships however you dont mind him occasionally suppling you the "urgent 2k" that is supposed to be meant for his fuq buddy.

All these girls wey get small small yansh too dey get problem.

Idaytesj29:


I like your rounded comment, what I want to add is that, ....WHY DIDNT HE ASK YOU WHY YOU HAVE NOT EATEN FOR TWO DAYS IN A ROW? He simply wasn't a good man. A good man will ask to know why, even if he doesn't have means to help. In such case, he may offer emotional support. But nawa for the guy.

Why didn't she say what the problem was instead of being coy and expecting him to read her mind.

Women and their stupid games sha.

Bodyodour:
he asked you for 3 days whether you have eaten and you said NO. Any Nigerian guy will cut-off any connection because its now an indirect way of collecting money. Check it nah. Ask most Nigerian girls how she is doing she will tell you she is not fine.Ask her why she will tell you money is her problem .

Yes, you are right with the bolded.
However, a caring guy will ask why you have not eaten for the past three days. That's is care. It is not until he sends her money that makes him care.
That guy is not caring probably an opportunist or looking for a babe to pass time with. Infact he is a regular naija guy. My advice to op is to forget him.

CalliDora1:


@bolded. Really??... Lol...
Look, my kind of person, if I want to ask for something, I won't beat about. Ill go straight and ask because I believe we are friends and can share things. So no biggies. But I didn't want to ask partly because I've not fully made up mind about him and secondly, he's a nairalander ( though a very discreet one) and you know that "kiss and tell" character about them. So that notion has been formed about them generally and that was another reason I dont bother to demand. I really don't see anyway I'm to be blamed for his actions because I never accosted him about it before he decided to deaden all forms of communication.

Pocohantas gave you a very matured response so quit arguing with her. Meanwhile, I think you and that guy should relax on your suspicion on each other because it would choke whatever friendship/relationship both of you are aspiring.

You seem to be a very simple lady, that is not so experienced in wiles/deceit but the guy seems to be barricaded with philosophies to protect his hard-earned money (hopefully he's got such) from been "stolen" by some ladies. You can't really blame him. Times are tough for most people (male and female alike) and sometimes affect both thinking and actions.

But it is very obvious that you want a real relationship with him by narrating it here on Nairaland, knowing he is a discreet member. So don't feel embarrassed by his condescending response ( "na wa o" ) or his actions (abandonment). Simply laugh them off and consciously make subsequent moments with him fun-filled, cheering him up and brightening his day with lots of joke/laughter. You would also enjoy the merry moments because he would be forced to reciprocate. Moreover, he could start sending some money to your bank account without you ever asking him, simply because you are gaining a soft spot in his heart that is overriding all "barricading philosophies".

He is one of those Alpha males we have here in nairaland. Pls do the needful. Block him.

CalliDora1 gest=96174622:


Lol.. so.. hahahahaaaa so if someone is hungry, you'll check out? Lol.. you funny o. You see I wasn't wrong afterall. So he actually thought I wanted him to open a cafeteria for me lol..

on a normal,he did what guys normally does (I will run if am d one ) . Some ladies are quite deceiving seriously.

YourCoffin:


2k is just a slang for monetary favours requested by ladies as soon as you start chatting with them. It is our experience not Poco's words. We can spot it from a mile before it comes. Guy man spotted it. It's nobody's fault. We are all trying to survive.

Dont mind the girl. she be learner!!

This one is a bit complicated o..... But the guy no try Sha.... U saying u didn't put anything on him

But average guys knw wen a lady said I av nt eaten over n over she want money while I wouldn't knw his financial strength I think he shld av offer to help and even if he couldn't he didn't ought to have ghost u for weeks or month.... E no make

Experience they say is the best teacher lot of guy avoid doing stuff for new lady we just met because of the syndrome I ate his money n stuff
Has average Nigerian girl always want the opportunity to take.... So I won't blame him for thinking you are being smart

slawormiir:
damnnn niggarrrr
Isoright.....

All i see here is two smart people

Your life go better. they are playing the cat and the rat, but turn out the girl has more trust issue than the guy who is trying to save his penny.

Opting to meet would have save their relationship

Idaytesj29:


I like your rounded comment, what I want to add is that, ....WHY DIDNT HE ASK YOU WHY YOU HAVE NOT EATEN FOR TWO DAYS IN A ROW? He simply wasn't a good man. A good man will ask to know why, even if he doesn't have means to help. In such case, he may offer emotional support. But nawa for the guy.

I said he did and asked if I didn't have food but I just replied, I'll be fine. He actually did but my concern is why he went mute and is now coming back asking the same annoying questions.

These girl have found a habit of sustaining themselves on innocent guys, it's only in 9ja u think some guy who's not related or attached to u will help u I mean, what's the wisdom in that, don't this ladies have relatives to ask help from? They think talking to them means, you're automatically a mugu, it balls down to how other guys have be prey to them...not every guy is ur prey...after taking money they'll call the guy mugu within their friend/gosip...dear guys stop giving girls money without strings attached, ur mom, kid sis, dad and relatives need the 2k more...never forget this facts

Honestly I feel sorry for this lady, if things are as she presented them. I don't like cheating or fraud be it emotional or financially. Sorry lady GOD will give you a good man. If not that I am married I would have linked up with you. For you to fast means you might be GODly

purples25:
NL MEET UP? NL RELATIONSHIP?


STILL, BE CAREFUL! THIS IS WHAT MOST OF THEM DO. A LOT OF THEM ( NOT ALL ) ARE BITTER AND SEVERELY BIASED AND OUT TO ' EXPOSE' WHAT NEVER OCCURRED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

SORRY DEAR.

Áàti kòfà nle, ifa ti n shé

pocohantas:
You are overthinking things.

How can you keep saying you haven’t eaten for 3days without any explanation? Haba! Don’t you know that is Naija babes intro to ask for urgent 2k?

The guy is not psychic to know you were fasting. Whenever I tell a man I haven’t eaten, I always make sure I add the reason (e.g) Busy day, I am trying to watch my intake/weight...etc.

While it wasn’t so nice of him to disappear, we should remember that building relationships is hard in Nigeria because we suspect ourselves too much. Imagine if he kept telling you he is lonely.

It is okay if you want to block him, I just want you to know you are not entirely blameless. It takes time and trust to unlock certain aspects of a friendship...

I love u for this

Bola146:
I have met a lot of guys in Angel's image and I have met some useless, insane, kids, lazy guys here on nairaland, so I'm not surprised. I think he is looking forward to know much about you financially and materially. Just don't expose all your life to him, he is a pretender looking for sugar mummy ( they are many here especially those kids ) he knew you couldn't be hungry , just play along with him.

[img]https://media1./images/c4d9023b721e0001aa2a888c2db35203/tenor.gif?itemid=17167689[/img]
E be like say you don see things for this firum

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

That’s the kind of BS I don’t want in my life. Every year, I re-evaluate my friend list to decide who stays & who goes. I took some classes with a few Africans. I’d always get to work late & lie to my boss that class ended late. Truth is that I was the only one driving & had to drop them off at their homes before going to work. One was a fellow Kenyan so we kept the communication even after the training ended. My family suffered two losses within a short span of time. Each time I messaged this so called friend, there’s be no response.In normal chats, he sees my messages but during loss, he claims not to see. Probably because we Kenyans usually contribute money. Even if he didn’t give me money, I’d have understood he was a student, but ignoring me at times of loss, that’s not a person I can call a friend, so I cut our friendship. On the other hand, I recently chatted with a guy who started borrowing money. Gave him twice & then blocked him. He could have been afraid of being exploited, but if you two were already dating, then I don’t think he’s worth keeping because it shows he’s a fair weather person.Want to enjoy the good times but, don’t look for him in your time of trouble because he’ll have taken off. If your boyfriend can’t support you in your time if need, him being in your life is a big mistake.Can’t be trusted.

@CalliDora1

If i was the 1, I would have block you on the 3rd instance.

Because i would have suspected that
1. You were testing me
2. You are manipulative and arrogantly trying to collect urgent 2k from me.

I would be right, cos from your post, it was a manipulative test.

I would not want to be a friend with someone that is not straight and fortcoming. Even on a long distance just-friendship.

CalliDora1:
Long post. Please bear with me.

This trait seems to be common among some Nairaland men (with apologies to all the men here though) cos I never really experienced such attitude with men ive met offline. So don't know whether they have a nairaland men's association (not the red pillars or mgtow kinda thing though) where they agree to behave likesome. The way they reason sometimes just baffles me.

Ok. So, I met someone here as a friend and I wanted it to stay that way. Along the line, he wanted more than just friendship but I just kept dodging because I don't want any issues as he's a good friend (a born again) and I like our friendly chats and all that. So didn't want anything serious that could jeopardize that but he kept pressing on and stressing until I naturally began to feel relaxed (against my wish) you know how that constant checking on someone tends to make one want to compromise their Stance. So I sort of got trapped.

Now here's the issue. He would always want to know about my biz and job. If I went or not. So I decided to test him. He would always call and ask if I've eaten. So that day, I said no (was fasting) but didn't want to divulge it to him that I was fasting. He called later in the day and asked again, I said I've not eaten, he dropped. I now felt he prolly thought I wanted him to feed me huh??.. I observed he reduced his calls. Third day he called and asked again, I said no. And he said "na wa o" I was like why, he said I'm sorry I can't help. Huh?? I don't remember asking him so I decided to play along. He called in the evening, I still said I've not eaten ( cos I had not broken my fast then) and he said I'm sorry ( I was just laughing within). I asked him, for what? he said because he couldn't help. And since then he stopped calling only to chat after a week to ask if the biz I was pursuing was through. I ignored him and for two months no contact.

Just last night he chatted me up again asking if I've resumed work and I said yes. he then asked if he's free to call me bla bla. And since last night hes been trying to keep up chats but I'm kinda cold towards him and he asked why I'm so cold. Acting like nothing happened.

Now, this is what I feel. so if someone is truly dying of hunger (God forbid) you'll abandon the fellow? or that they can't date someone who's biz is shaky or has not resumed work due to a global crises that affected everyone? I'm not saying anybody should carry someone else's burden ( there was really no burden anywhere as God has been faithful.) but I don't understand what actually played out there and why he's all of a sudden interested again after learning I've resumed work. I don't just understand because I don't want to be rude. Was that a right thing?

I'm really confused here because.. I mean.. I never asked you to help me with anything but being there would have been enough. Calling and chatting would have helped me scale through the bordom I felt that period of compulsory break from work and biz but he went into Oblivion even when I never placed any demands on him.

I bow to men and the way they reason o.

Bad girls have spoiled just few one that remain.

Reason why most guys reluctant or refused to send money for girls is that, when you chat with 50 girls 48 will complain of hungry, call card or transport fare.

The most annoying tin is that after sending it for them, they would be making jest of the guy as maga.

Before I send call card, I would have seen 150% of girl commitment.

infogenius:


Yes, you are right with the bolded.
However, a caring guy will ask why are you have you not eaten for the past three days? That's is care. It is not until he sends her money that makes him care.
That guy is not caring probably an opportunist or looking for a babe to pass time with. Infact he is a regular naija guy. My advice to op is to forget him.

you aren't lying. I did that before but she turned me into her ATM. Me just japa!! Help a girl today, she will come with times 3 of another problem.