I don't know what all this is about. If you can buy for both, by all means do that. All the people saying thrash about the wife they married, God have mercy!

If your wives buy houses and lands for their parents or in their names instead of you, the husband, you will start foaming in the mouth.

Why are you husband and wife when you see each other as strangers, some calling their wives, a woman. No one can take a place of a mother, but your mother needs more love from her husband.

For me, I hope I get, give and share enough love with my husband that I do not have to get jealous when my sons and daughters are doing same with their spouses.

jornwhite:




You are right and there is no arguement in all these, the moniker you quoted already admit a man's wife/kids are his primary responsibility, that settles the logical aspect, bub i think he wants to know the emotional aspect tew, as men its hard for us to know so tell us as a mother will you be happy your son bought a car for is wife when you're trekking ? its a harmless question

As a mother, I won't be in competition with my son's wife because I know she is his responsibility. My mentality is different. It is my husband I should disturb for a car if I cannot afford one.

And if my husband fails in that area, should I sit on my son's neck and try to manipulate him to buy me a car? I don't think so. He has his responsibility and his family to take care of. I should be the one sending his wife and children gifts, not causing trouble between them because of my own needs.That's the way I see it.

Fussion1000:



If you married good woman she would do more than that, my mother did, doing and will still do farrrrrr more than my grandma did for my dad, my mother took over from where my grandma stop on my dad, more than 50yrs now, was my grandma took care of dad up to 30yrs no?


Coming to my lovely wife ,she is best that can happen to any man, God's willing she will do farrrrrrrrr more than my mother on me.

We are blessed with good mother ,father and wives in our own family.

I made my wife to understand that without my mom's encouragement, continuous prayers, & relentless efforts, maybe I would have gone astray & probably wouldn't have gotten to where Iam today, and I might not end up getting married to her as well, because no woman will want to marry a useless man for a husband. So my mom contributed immensely to my success.

Fussion1000:



Of course balance it, but man MUST spend much more for his wife than mum, think of it, its ur wife alone but our mother, if one don't do others will, but if you don't do for ur wife who take up ur responsibility towards ur own wife


"Our mother" vs 'my wife', the balance must not equal.

If i can tell it to the face of older women with grown up children in the church, how less faceless public forum, anybody is free to leave the way pleases him in marriage, the end will justify everybody.

If you don't treat ur wife well, but face mother, the problems that will arise will bound on children.

Yes. A wife definitely should get more. That mother that guys are all shouting about won't let her husband do more for his mother than her.

When people understand the principle of marriage, they will understand better.

Fussion1000:



Did you need to reply foolish guys who are product of useless upbringings which had resulted to their failed marriages, the car they bought for their mums in village, will be used to carry their kids to schools nah.

Sorry for Nigeria indeed, saying exact opposite of what they are doing, some of them have not sent a penny to parents this year, yet he comes online to cheer .......oh dear mother.

Hahahahahaha! You are too harsh!

Every guy loves their mother first ONLINE o.

pocohantas:



Hahahahahaha! You are too harsh!

Every guy loves their mother first ONLINE o.

But in reality, even to send a gift money for them once in a year its a tug of war.

Surely, the position of parents cannot be over emphasized, but taking care of ur OUR mother "much more" than MY wife is absurd.

In naija we argue exact opposite of what we are doing!

Fussion1000:


But in reality, even to send a gift money for them once in a year its a tug of war.

Surely, the position of parents cannot be over emphasized, but taking care of ur OUR mother "much more" than MY wife is absurd.

In naija we argue exact opposite of what we are doing!

Don’t blame them. I reckon their mums were abused or not well taken care of by their fathers. It is only normal they try to fill in the void their fathers left. If a home has a loving father, you will notice less nonsense. The mother won’t have the time to be haunting her DILs. Neither will the son be making reckless statements, because the woman won’t be latched on him for emotional/financial support. Not when she is enjoying retirement with her husband/hobbies.

Men get this into your skulls!

A wife can easily leave you when you become poor but, a mother will always be there for you.

ImaIma1:


He is a very wise man and he knows his mother.

What he has done for her, you might not be able to do in your lifetime.

lies if he value his mom like you said and has the resources to buy he a car why would he be calculating on doing so okey what if he mom refuse to train her nko human being are so ungrateful

The debate on Mother and wife is one that will never go away and there's no perfect answer or opinion to it, so Duncan should just shut up with his curses







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heniford2:
lies if he value his mom like you said and has the resources to buy he a car why would he be calculating on doing so okey what if he mom refuse to train her nko human being are so ungrateful

Refuse to train him? Who else is responsible for training a child if not the parents? Did the child beg to be brought to the world? No.

In fact, the parents probably prayed for a child and brought the child into the world without the child's consent or knowledge. So it is the child's right to be brought up in a way that gives him or her a competitive edge in society. Let's clear that first.

His mum did not lack anything at all. Whenever she needed to go out, he sent her a driver. Must she own a car because the wife owns one? Is it a competition?

ImaIma1:


Refuse to train him? Who else is responsible for training a child if not the parents? Did the child beg to be brought to the world? No.

In fact, the parents probably prayed for a child and brought the child into the world without the child's consent or knowledge. So it is the child's right to be brought up in a way that gives him or her a competitive edge in society. Let's clear that first.

His mum did not lack anything at all. Whenever she needed to go out, he sent her a driver. Must she own a car because the wife owns one? Is it a competition?

while i can't change your mindset for me and other guys if I'm to buy any stuff for my wife my mum most have it first QED

ImaIma1:


As a mother, I won't be in competition with my son's wife because I know she is his responsibility. My mentality is different. It is my husband I should disturb for a car if I cannot afford one.

And if my husband fails in that area, should I sit on my son's neck and try to manipulate him to buy me a car? I don't think so. He has his responsibility and his family to take care of. I should be the one sending his wife and children gifts, not causing trouble between them because of my own needs.That's the way I see it.

That settles it then

heniford2:
while i can't change your mindset for me and other guys if I'm to buy any stuff for my wife my mum most have it first QED

My mindset is not bound by cultural, traditional or manipulative ideas.

What about your dad? Wasn't he the one who paid the money to train you, so why is the car for your mum?

first of all, Duncan mighty was addressing his fellow men. for a woman to be the first to comment and kick against his advice/opinion raises alot of suspicion.
women are selfish in nature, most times if it doesn't affect them or someone they love dearly; they dont care! my family is predominantly female, I have 7 sisters.

Duncan mighty's advise is for men who have experienced true love from a woman (their mothers).
if you've never experienced true love from your mother, his advise is not applicable to you.

I noticed most men enter into relationships with women expecting the same type of unconditional love they got from their mother from their girlfriends/partners.......in most cases it is impossible and very rare.
very few men will get the same unconditional love they got from their mother from their wives/girlfriends(story for another day)
if you are lucky to have both....good for you.
but do not enter into a relationship with a woman expecting unconditional love.

I experienced unconditional love my mother, so now

-where was the so called girlfriend/wife when my mum took a loan from the bank to be paid in over 7yrs just to put a roof over my head ?

-where was the so called girlfriend/wife when my mum was sleeping in a car for a week in northern nigeria just to avoid spending her travel/hotel allowances just to be able to pay school fees (school was resuming the following week she had nothing) ?
-where was the so called girlfriend/wife when a loan that was meant to be paid to someone else in my mums office was accidently paid to my mother's account. she immidiately withdrew the money and paid for my final year graduation (I couldn't graduate if I didn't clear myself).
she almost got sacked if not for her oga that vouched for her good character. the gist go round for her office.

-where was the so called girlfriend/wife when I accompanied my mother to go and beg for fees from some rich fellows way we sabi ( I cried inside of me, my whole mother dy beg person for money at the end the person no still burrow her the money )
in case you're wondering my mother is lanister; she always pays her debt.

as I'm talking to you now my mother wants to take another loan for me to go for my masters.
it's me that is even telling her to be calming down.


I don't look like C.ronaldo and I'm aware that no girl will look at my face if I'm not a somebody in society (it is unfortunate that this how most men will find alleged true love )


if any man doesn't want to shower his mother with love, that is his problem.
your so called girlfriend/wife (if at all she is a good person) would shower her own parents with love......no loose guard !!!

Nicoswit:

Hopefully you will say this when you become a mother

I sabi people like her

yahjac:
first of all, Duncan mighty was addressing his fellow men. for a woman to be the first to comment and kick against his advice/opinion raises alot of suspicion.
women are selfish in nature, most times if it doesn't affect them or someone they love dearly; they dont care! my family is predominantly female, I have 7 sisters.

Duncan mighty's advise is for men who have experienced true love from a woman (their mothers).
if you've never experienced true love from your mother, his advise is not applicable to you.

I noticed most men enter into relationships with women expecting the same type of unconditional love they got from their mother from their girlfriends/partners.......in most cases it is impossible and very rare.
very few men will get the same unconditional love they got from their mother from their wives/girlfriends(story for another day)
if you are lucky to have both....good for you.
but do not enter into a relationship with a woman expecting unconditional love.

I experienced unconditional love my mother, so now

-where was the so called girlfriend/wife when my mum took a loan from the bank to be paid in over 7yrs just to put a roof over my head ?

-where was the so called girlfriend/wife when my mum was sleeping in a car for a week in northern nigeria just to avoid spending her travel/hotel allowances just to be able to pay school fees (school was resuming the following week she had nothing) ?
-where was the so called girlfriend/wife when a loan that was meant to be paid to someone else in my mums office was accidently paid to my mother's account. she immidiately withdrew the money and paid for my final year graduation (I couldn't graduate if I didn't clear myself).
she almost got sacked if not for her oga that vouched for her good character. the gist go round for her office.

-where was the so called girlfriend/wife when I accompanied my mother to go and beg for fees from some rich fellows way we sabi ( I cried inside of me, my whole mother dy beg person for money at the end the person no still burrow her the money )
in case you're wondering my mother is lanister; she always pays her debt.

as I'm talking to you now my mother wants to take another loan for me to go for my masters.
it's me that is even telling her to be calming down.


I don't look like C.ronaldo and I'm aware that no girl will look at my face if I'm not a somebody in society (it is unfortunate that this how most men will find alleged true love )


if any man doesn't want to shower his mother with love, that is his problem.
your so called girlfriend/wife (if at all she is a good person) would shower her own parents with love......no loose guard !!!

So if your wife also collects a loan for you or begs people on your behalf, will you put her on the same pedestal as your mother?

All these you mentioned are things that parents do because they brought you into this world. Or is it the doctor that is meant to train you? Did your mum do all these for the maid? Nope.

You will now live your life to payback all of it because you believe she did you a favour. And if you are not the wise type you will keep throwing it in your wife's face how your mother suffered for you like her own mother didn't also.

Marriage is a different ball game from boyfriend and girlfriend. When the time comes, you will understand the difference.

ImaIma1:


So if your wife also collects a loan for you or begs people on your behalf, will you put her on the same pedestal as your mother?

All these you mentioned are things that parents do because they brought you into this world. Or is it the doctor that is meant to train you? Did your mum do all these for the maid? Nope.

You will now live your life to payback all of it because you believe she did you a favour. And if you are not the wise type you will keep throwing it in your wife's face how your mother suffered for you like her own mother didn't also.

Marriage is a different ball game from boyfriend and girlfriend. When the time comes, you will understand the difference.

yes I will live my life to pay her back for all of it with gladness and joy in my heart.
I agree with Duncan mighty...it's my opinion.

feel free to do as you wish too

hope you know you have to be married to be qualified to tell me that marriage is another ball game entirely.....just saying

yahjac:




yes I will live my life to pay her back for all of it with gladness and joy in my heart.
I agree with Duncan mighty...it's my opinion.

feel free to do as you wish too

hope you know you have to be married to be qualified to tell me that marriage is another ball game entirely.....just saying

Yes I know. That's why I said it.

ImaIma1:


Yes I know. That's why I said it.

well, I wish you well in your "different ball game".
by the way given Duncan's age I would assume that Duncan has more experience in this "different ball game"

yahjac:


well, I wish you well in your "different ball game".
by the way given Duncan's age I would assume that Duncan has more experience in this "different ball game"

Age is not the only basis for him to give good marriage advice. How is his marriage? Is he actually fit to give advice?

ImaIma1:


Age is not the only basis for him to give good marriage advice. How is his marriage? Is he actually fit to give advice?

I will have to agree with you on this one.... regardless Duncan isn't a small boy he has done well for himself as a man.
I still share & maintain the same perspective with him on the topic being discussed.

ceeceeco:
Well, your feelings for your mom depends on how your mom treated you, maybe your mom didn't show you motherly love as a son. I know you will say she did but that's not true because your comments says it all. Bro listen and listen very good; I can be buying things for my wife & taking good care of her as well, but I can never love my wife more than my mother, never. Mom's love is so priceless. That woman can't pass through all the stress she passed through to make sure I & my siblings become successful and you expect me to love another woman more than her, u no well. No woman in this world can sacrifice half of what my mother sacrificed for us to be successful. A woman that deny herself food & sleep, always fasting & praying even when we are busy sleeping @ night she's awake praying. Bros no make me vex. Just get out! Nonsense lover boy.

U are talking based on the way ur father maltreated ur mother during ur upbringing, after all so many of you are products of single parenting, if ur mother had opportunity to marry a caring husband and dad like my dad
you will understand it more.

The way you are talking it shows clearly u re from single parenting, because for me, my dad and my mum contributed jointly to make me who am I today and not only mum as many of you are canvassing.

Your wife is ur primary responsibility of you, why ur parents should be jointly taking care of among children.

When they asked you to open ur eyes wide to marry a wife like mother , you won't listen.



If nobody can replace ur mother , nobody can also replaced a woman that bore you kids.

Your wife is flesh of ur flesh, nobody, I repeat nobody loves other flesh as his

If you oppotune to marry a good wife, she will double whatever ur mother had done.

As you are talking, don't forget you will still grow old, who will be taking care of you then? I guess ur mother too!

ImaIma1:


My mindset is not bound by cultural, traditional or manipulative ideas.

What about your dad? Wasn't he the one who paid the money to train you, so why is the car for your mum?

we R talking about mom when we get to dad too his in titlement would be giving to him as supposed

blowjohn:
I still dont understand why a grown up man will wear socks with slippers , but won't wear socks with shoes!

saaphiere:
The earlier men understand that their WIVES need more attention and caring than their moms the better for them. Something like 60:40.
If you want to experience hell in your marriage, buy something for your mom first before buying for your wife or give your mom a quality item than your wife.

As for Duncan laying curses on men because the take care of their wives than their mom, I really don't blame him. Anyone is entitled to do or say dumb things to trend. Just of recent a child made a fool of his parents just to trend by telling them their TV is touch-screen.

I am not saying you should not take care of your mom. I am not saying you should wait for your mom to beg you for things before you give her.
I am saying you should take care of your mom and wife but never give your mom more than you give your wife if you want peace in your home.

God bless you. What most of them don't know is, most wives are the pillars of their homes these days. What if the wife made the man who he is?

Not in this case. If the mom is sick, a sane man should use his money and take his mom to the hospital. You can't compare life with car. But in the case were both mom and wife are healthy, invest more in your wife. Your wife is the one you return home to meet everyday.

Wow! God bless you. Even the Bible says a good friend is better than a bad brother. There are men who won't amount to anything if it wasn't their wives.

Onoms4luv, am highly dissapointed making such a statement. Where was that your acclaimed wife when your mother was grooming you from pregnancy till birth again till you become that man you are now. She washed your smelling shit when you cannot talk, she sacrifice her sleepless night for you to sleep. You are there talking rubbish. It's good to take care of both shikena. If you want to gain heaven better be good to your parents. Ode

this guy should go and sit-down

saaphiere:
Lack of care and attention make most women cheat in their marriage. It's good to help your mom but never place her above your wife.


God bless you Fussion1000. I least expected this raw truth from a male.

thank God ur a woman...someday ur child would see his contributions in your life as "help" and not important as his wife's....

simplelad:


Onoms4luv, am highly dissapointed making such a statement. Where was that your acclaimed wife when your mother was grooming you from pregnancy till birth again till you become that man you are now. She washed your smelling shit when you cannot talk, she sacrifice her sleepless night for you to sleep. You are there talking rubbish. It's good to take care of both shikena. If you want to gain heaven better be good to your parents. Ode

See me see problem, you dey insult me for my own opinion. wahala dey this country ooo. na dis kind people go marry dey allow their mama dey control their marriage.

If my opinion pain you, abeg find the nearest transformer make you hug. mumu

yahjac:


I will have to agree with you on this one.... regardless Duncan isn't a small boy he has done well for himself as a man.
I still share & maintain the same perspective with him on the topic being discussed.

Ok

Good chat!

SPDAZZY:
I don't know what all this is about. If you can buy for both, by all means do that. All the people saying thrash about the wife they married, God have mercy!

If your wives buy houses and lands for their parents or in their names instead of you, the husband, you will start foaming in the mouth.

Why are you husband and wife when you see each other as strangers, some calling their wives, a woman. No one can take a place of a mother, but your mother needs more love from her husband.

For me, I hope I get, give and share enough love with my husband that I do not have to get jealous when my sons and daughters are doing same with their spouses.

Making sense Wifey.

Reason why we cannot allow the world and it's people model our lives and put us in their mold. The Holy book said '... A man will leave his father and his mother and stick to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' and no longer two. (Gen. 2:24; Mt.19:5)

My owe my mother the most, for she's his wife. I owe my parents the much care I can give, but my wife and family is topmost priority. Even the Holy further stated that when a man is unable to provide for his household he is worst than a man without faith. (1 Tim. 5:

So Duncan is no authority on family and can only speak for himself.