yahjac:
first of all, Duncan mighty was addressing his fellow men. for a woman to be the first to comment and kick against his advice/opinion raises alot of suspicion.
women are selfish in nature, most times if it doesn't affect them or someone they love dearly; they dont care! my family is predominantly female, I have 7 sisters.

Duncan mighty's advise is for men who have experienced true love from a woman (their mothers).
if you've never experienced true love from your mother, his advise is not applicable to you.

I noticed most men enter into relationships with women expecting the same type of unconditional love they got from their mother from their girlfriends/partners.......in most cases it is impossible and very rare.
very few men will get the same unconditional love they got from their mother from their wives/girlfriends(story for another day)
if you are lucky to have both....good for you.
but do not enter into a relationship with a woman expecting unconditional love.

I experienced unconditional love my mother, so now

-where was the so called girlfriend/wife when my mum took a loan from the bank to be paid in over 7yrs just to put a roof over my head ?

-where was the so called girlfriend/wife when my mum was sleeping in a car for a week in northern nigeria just to avoid spending her travel/hotel allowances just to be able to pay school fees (school was resuming the following week she had nothing) ?
-where was the so called girlfriend/wife when a loan that was meant to be paid to someone else in my mums office was accidently paid to my mother's account. she immidiately withdrew the money and paid for my final year graduation (I couldn't graduate if I didn't clear myself).
she almost got sacked if not for her oga that vouched for her good character. the gist go round for her office.

-where was the so called girlfriend/wife when I accompanied my mother to go and beg for fees from some rich fellows way we sabi ( I cried inside of me, my whole mother dy beg person for money at the end the person no still burrow her the money )
in case you're wondering my mother is lanister; she always pays her debt.

as I'm talking to you now my mother wants to take another loan for me to go for my masters.
it's me that is even telling her to be calming down.


I don't look like C.ronaldo and I'm aware that no girl will look at my face if I'm not a somebody in society (it is unfortunate that this how most men will find alleged true love )


if any man doesn't want to shower his mother with love, that is his problem.
your so called girlfriend/wife (if at all she is a good person) would shower her own parents with love......no loose guard !!!

In all of these,where was your father?.
If your father was responsible and did his duty, your mother wouldn't have suffered all of this. I hope you will love and support your wife too so she won't be suffering like your mother did to raise the kids. Most father's don't care for their kids as mothers do that's why children always love their mothers more, if you don't also carry your responsibility well that's how your children will focus more on their mother than you.

ImaIma1:


So if your wife also collects a loan for you or begs people on your behalf, will you put her on the same pedestal as your mother?

All these you mentioned are things that parents do because they brought you into this world. Or is it the doctor that is meant to train you? Did your mum do all these for the maid? Nope.

You will now live your life to payback all of it because you believe she did you a favour. And if you are not the wise type you will keep throwing it in your wife's face how your mother suffered for you like her own mother didn't also.

Marriage is a different ball game from boyfriend and girlfriend. When the time comes, you will understand the difference.

seriously the way some men talk about their mothers it will be as if the their wives mother didn't suffer for them too. Of course his mother will not do all of that for another man's child, she did all of that because he is her son. So my point exactly is, it's every parents responsibility to care for their children but shouldn't use it as a yard stick to compare wives and mothers. What your mother did for you, your wife will also do it for your children. He only mentions mother , what about his father. Was he just a sperm donor?

Pinkie2018:
seriously the way some men talk about their mothers it will be as if the their wives mother didn't suffer for them too. Of course his mother will not do all of that for another man's child, she did all of that because he is her son. So my point exactly is, it's every parents responsibility to care for their children but shouldn't use it as a yard stick to compare wives and mothers. What your mother did for you, your wife will also do it for your children. He only mentions mother , what about his father. Was he just a sperm donor?

It's our African culture. And the funny thing is that it is the sons that have this heroine syndrome about their mothers. The daughters love their mothers but still maintain a clear head and are able to please her without it getting in the way of their marriages.

But the men can keep wailing around about how their mothers backed them, sold her clothes and belongings for their sakes.

They will be alright.

Fussion1000:




U are talking based on the way ur father maltreated ur mother during ur upbringing, after all so many of you are products of single parenting, if ur mother had opportunity to marry a caring husband and dad like my dad
you will understand it more.

The way you are talking it shows clearly u re from single parenting, because for me, my dad and my mum contributed jointly to make me who am I today and not only mum as many of you are canvassing.

Your wife is ur primary responsibility of you, why ur parents should be jointly taking care of among children.

When they asked you to open ur eyes wide to marry a wife like mother , you won't listen.



If nobody can replace ur mother , nobody can also replaced a woman that bore you kids.

Your wife is flesh of ur flesh, nobody, I repeat nobody loves other flesh as his

If you oppotune to marry a good wife, she will double whatever ur mother had done.

As you are talking, don't forget you will still grow old, who will be taking care of you then? I guess ur mother too!

Sorry sir, my dad didn't maltreat my mother, neither am I a product of single parenting. But there's this undying and genuine love a good caring mother deserves. I no dey joke with my Mama, e get why. Perhaps your points don't really matter to me, because, I take good care of my wife too, so why the argument? The fact still remain that I love my mother sooooo very much!!

ceeceeco:
Sorry sir, my dad didn't maltreat my mother, neither am I a product of single parenting. But there's this undying and genuine love a good caring mother deserves. I no dey joke with my Mama, e get why. Perhaps your points don't really matter to me because I take good care of my wife too. So why the argument? The fact still remain that I love my mother sooooo very much!!

Have you married?

SPDAZZY:
I don't know what all this is about. If you can buy for both, by all means do that. All the people saying thrash about the wife they married, God have mercy!

If your wives buy houses and lands for their parents or in their names instead of you, the husband, you will start foaming in the mouth.

Why are you husband and wife when you see each other as strangers, some calling their wives, a woman. No one can take a place of a mother, but your mother needs more love from her husband.

For me, I hope I get, give and share enough love with my husband that I do not have to get jealous when my sons and daughters are doing same with their spouses.

U don't need to reply foolish and idiot men, they refused to focus on their primary assignment, when they have problems maritally, they come online to shout that naija girls are bad, when they are the one who pulled down their home


I can never ever love and care for any creature more than my flesh ,I insist my dear wive.

Casper21:

I wonder who this fool is talking to

your papa for don pour the sperm wey form u for bedsheet.

Pinkie2018:
In all of these,where was your father?.
If your father was responsible and did his duty, your mother wouldn't have suffered all of this. I hope you will love and support your wife too so she won't be suffering like your mother did to raise the kids. Most father's don't care for their kids as mothers do that's why children always love their mothers more, if you don't also carry your responsibility well that's how your children will focus more on their mother than you.

for you to sit and assume someone's lifes story without prove or facts is purely laughable

Pinkie2018:
In all of these,where was your father?.
If your father was responsible and did his duty, your mother wouldn't have suffered all of this. I hope you will love and support your wife too so she won't be suffering like your mother did to raise the kids. Most father's don't care for their kids as mothers do that's why children always love their mothers more, if you don't also carry your responsibility well that's how your children will focus more on their mother than you.

for you to sit and assume someone's lifes story without prove or facts is purely laughable to me.

from the comfort of your keyboard you conclude my father wasn't responsible.....lol
did you consider the fact that he could be dead, sick or disabled ? (life happens)

then again you still jump to another conclusion that most men are not responsible towards their kids...... which is still laughable, considering the fact that we have many baby factories with women commanding and sustaining these factories

I don't even know why I'm stressing myself to explain my opinion considering the fact that women are their own biggest enemies. most of you guys fight, compete and bring down each other(normal levels)
a classic case of war between mother vs daughter-in-law shouldn't be a surprise to me.

ImaIma1:


It's our African culture. And the funny thing is that it is the sons that have this heroine syndrome about their mothers. The daughters love their mothers but still maintain a clear head and are able to please her without it getting in the way of their marriages.

But the men can keep wailing around about how their mothers backed them, sold her clothes and belongings for their sakes.

They will be alright.

it is not an African culture, it is a global perception.
from boyhood most males unconsciously make their mothers their first love and put her on a pedestal. and it's this same lens they use to view other females.

eventually some come out of it while most dont. coming out of it in my opinion is the best way to actually relate well with women.
until a man stops putting women on a pedestal he won't be able to relate well with them.

before I forget, the dynamics of a (mother, son and daughter in law) is diffrent from that of ( mother, daughter and son-in-law.)

yahjac:


it is not an African culture, it is a global perception.
from boyhood most males unconsciously make their mothers their first love and put her on a pedestal. and it's this same lens they use to view other females.

eventually some come out of it while most dont. coming out of it in my opinion is the best way to actually relate well with women.
until a man stops putting women on a pedestal he won't be able to relate well with them.

before I forget, the dynamics of a (mother, son and daughter in law) is diffrent from that of ( mother, daughter and son-in-law.)

Absolutely @ the bolded.

Women understand each other and they understand manipulation because they do it too. So while a mother can twist her son's arm and he will easily bow to her will, it's not that easy with the daughters.

Duncan Mighty, you're stup!d!

Acidosis:




Duncan Mighty, you're stup!d!

Most Nairaland men don't think so

ImaIma1:


It's our African culture. And the funny thing is that it is the sons that have this heroine syndrome about their mothers. The daughters love their mothers but still maintain a clear head and are able to please her without it getting in the way of their marriages.

But the men can keep wailing around about how their mothers backed them, sold her clothes and belongings for their sakes.

They will be alright.

Seriously, most broken homes today is as a result of the interference of mother inlaws. And their sons allow them control their homes to the chagrin of their wives and when you ask, you will hear long epistle about how their mother suffered for them and all that. I wish they will balance between loving their mom and theirs wives without letting each encroach into into