My son is 17 years, and I got him a smartphone not too long ago during his birthday.

We're now in the tech era, and I was hoping to get him exposed to tech, and consequently stimulate his interest in programming.

However, I was going through his phone this morning and found some hardcore porn videos.

He's currently in school now, and I want to seek the advice of NLders before taking any action when he returns.

Is 17 years too young to own a smartphone? I sincerely doubt. What's the best way to handle this situation?

Thanks!

Whil i understand your fears and concerns as a mother, permit me to say that:
1. A 17 year old is not too small to use a smartphone.
2. Did you teach your child sexual education?
3. How close are you to your child?

I ask these because of several reasons.
Children will always want to explore especially when there is no proper guidance. Most kids these days are influenced by what they see. Most young adults were not taught sexual education and it's effects.
How do you handle the situation?
DO NOT BEAT YOUR CHILD!
You may be tempted to but please resist that urge. Pornography can be really addictive and can post a serious challenge later on if not curbed. Talk to your son. Let him share his concerns and what led him to that path in the first instance. Your child wants to explore but there is no proper guidance. Teach him sexual education because it seems he is getting the wrong information elsewhere.
Register your displeasure and disappointment in strong terms.

U caused it..why buy him a smartphone.u called for it.a small nokia or itel phone would have been ok..it has happened,just talk him out of it.

Danhoys:
My son is 17 years, and I got him a smartphone not too long ago during his birthday.

We're now in the tech era, and I was hoping to get him exposed to tech, and consequently stimulate his interest in programming.

However, I was going through his phone this morning and found some hardcore porn videos.

He's currently in school now, and I want to seek the advice of NLders before taking any action when he returns.

Is 17 years too young to own a smartphone? I sincerely doubt. What's the best way to handle this situation?

Thanks!

Truth is, don't beat him. You're his Mother, advise him.
Let him know what he's doing is a bad thing at the bad time.

You can't deny him his right; right to get aroused by things, e.t.c. I started getting the urges at age 12. I had nobody to control me or advise me but I did it on my own because I was already wise and exposed at age 12. I'll use my own experience to advise you.


Guide him, make him understand that some things are better than some less important things. I am sure he now wakes up with an erection. You can't change that. It's normal.

He'll be 18 next year, you don't expect him to be a [b]SAINT[\b] till the evening of his wedding.

Don't listen to any body that advise you to beat him, ignore such advice

donbachi:
U caused it..why buy him a smartphone.u called for it.a small nokia or itel phone would have been ok..it has happened,just talk him out of it.

Doesn't Itel have smartphones? Please read my post very well, especially where I stated my intention for buying him the device.

I wanted a device that he can use to start learning programming, so a small Nokia wouldn't serve in that regard.

Wtf

Bad influence dey run ur pikin life
Gat to be happy say u notice on time me i start watching bluefilm at the age of 12 na god save my ass wey i quit

Jus format him brain let am knw the disadvantage coz the thing dey addicted
Me that time sef u no go see single one bf 4 my phone as i dey watch am na delete direct thank god for mtn midnit awuf na him i dey use dey download dem then

Just sitamdown as a mother follow the advice of Richmondesofa

Danhoys:
My son is 17 years, and I got him a smartphone not too long ago during his birthday.

We're now in the tech era, and I was hoping to get him exposed to tech, and consequently stimulate his interest in programming.

However, I was going through his phone this morning and found some hardcore porn videos.

He's currently in school now, and I want to seek the advice of NLders before taking any action when he returns.

Is 17 years too young to own a smartphone? I sincerely doubt. What's the best way to handle this situation?

Thanks!

leave him alone he is growing...He will outgrow it...The only advice you can give him is to bd wary of women..Your boy is now a mañ

richmondefosa:
Whil i understand your fears and concerns as a mother, permit me to say that:
1. A 17 year old is not too small to use a smartphone.
2. Did you teach your child sexual education?
3. How close are you to your child?

I ask these because of several reasons.
Children will always want to explore especially when there is no proper guidance. Most kids these days are influenced by what they see. Most young adults were not taught sexual education and it's effects.
How do you handle the situation?
DO NOT BEAT YOUR CHILD!
You may be tempted to but please resist that urge. Pornography can be really addictive and can post a serious challenge later on if not curbed. Talk to your son. Let him share his concerns and what led him to that path in the first instance. Your child wants to explore but there is no proper guidance. Teach him sexual education because it seems he is getting the wrong information elsewhere.
Register your displeasure and disappointment in strong terms.

We're very close, and he has always been a good boy. I don't plan on beating him at all; that's a futile attempt.

I've not really sat down and talk about sex with him. I think the best thing to do in this situation is sex education, especially on the dangers of pornography.

I know he would want to explore; that's why I set up parental control. But the app doesn't give me details of videos he may receive or download.

Thanks for your advice...

Seize the phone Don't beat him talk to him like a mother, trust me beating him wouldn't solve the issue

DONFRANSKID:
Seize the phone Don't beat him talk to him like a mother, trust me beating him wouldn't solve the issue

I'm also thinking of temporarily suspending him from using the phone, at least three days.

Danhoys:


We're very close, and he has always been a good boy. I don't plan on beating him at all; that's a futile attempt.

I've not really sat down and talk about sex with him. I think the best thing to do in this situation is sex education, especially on the dangers of pornography.

I know he would want to explore; that's why I set up parental control. But the app doesn't give me details of videos he may receive or download.

Thanks for your advice...

For the bolded, i think you really need to seat him down and talk to him on the dangers. Since he has always been a good boy, all hope is not lost. He will listen.
There are tons of apps you can use to monitor his online activity. Also, if he is not too techy, then there is the possibility that he hasn't gone incognito.You can check his browser history.
Do not make it obvious that he is being monitored, else he might get smarter in hiding. Show him love.
What kind of friends does he keep too? Do not take away privileges yet.
Then as a last resort if he doesn't change, use emotional blackmail.

Whatta guan man!


First of all, you did nothing wrong to buy your son a smart phone, but I think before now you ought to have talked to your son about sex education, tell him the dangers of watching pornography, viewing indecent pictures and keeping healthy relationship with the opposite sex, keep a close eye on the circle of friends(cuz he may be under peer pressure to 'experiment things')...also seek his permission to routinely check his phone, above all, always pray for your children that the evil/viruses in this present world will not corrupt your beautiful children.

P.S: editor's, abeg make una come read wetin I write cuz I nor been too like my English teacher for secondary School.

Danhoys:
My son is 17 years, and I got him a smartphone not too long ago during his birthday.

We're now in the tech era, and I was hoping to get him exposed to tech, and consequently stimulate his interest in programming.

However, I was going through his phone this morning and found some hardcore porn videos.

He's currently in school now, and I want to seek the advice of NLders before taking any action when he returns.

Is 17 years too young to own a smartphone? I sincerely doubt. What's the best way to handle this situation?

Thanks!

Won't your son learn how to fvck at some point? The best thing to do is to not let him know you checked his phone and try becoming his confidant. He should be comfortable to tell you sex related matters. You can also give him general unsolicited sex advice.

Beating him will only make him distance himself from you and pray it is not a useless and evil person that becomes his closest confidant.

If you're bold and wise enough you can actually let him know you checked his phone, apologise for invading his privacy then give him the best sex education you can that achieves your best motive for him.

HarunaWest:

leave him alone he is growing... He will outgrow it ..The only advice you're can give him is to bd wary of women..Your boy is now a mañ

Out grow what ??

Did you know how many years it took me to finally take a stand and Say No to Porn ??

Porn is considered worst among numerous Addiction facing humans; as it is done in Private/Secret unlike others [gambling, alcohol etc]..


Please Mam, disregard the advice quoted above, Scorn your son to register your displeasure about his 'new acquired habit'..

If not late, introduce Sex Education...
Let him Know the true nature of himself..
Enforce and regulate the main purpose the phone was presented to him...


#SayNoToPorn..

Liverpoolman:
Whatta guan man!


First of all, you did nothing wrong to buy your son a smart phone, but I think before now you ought to have talked to your son about sex education, tell him the dangers of watching pornography, viewing indecent pictures and keeping healthy relationship with the opposite sex, keep a close eye on the circle of friends(cuz he may be under peer pressure to 'experiment things')...also seek his permission to routinely check his phone, above all, always pray for your children that the evil/viruses in this present world will not corrupt your beautiful children.

P.S: editor's Editors, abeg make una come read wetin I write cuz I nor been too like my English teacher for secondary School.

DONFRANSKID:
Seize the phone Don't beat him talk to him like a mother, trust me beating him wouldn't solve the issue

Seizing is not the solution.
This is because, when he finally gets it back, he will go back to the old ways. Sexual Education is very important here. Taking away all privileges and emotional blackmail should be the last option. We need to know how long he has been into pornography. The boy is a good boy. All hope is not lost yet.

Madam.. The best things you can do to ravage the situation is to inculcate the dismerits effect of pornographic to him. You've not made a big mistake to have gotten him a smartphone because we have been in computer and jet age. I would be glad if you could seat him down and talk to him rather that to punish him verbally because it may have serious effect on him self esteem. Teach him all that he needs to know about human developmental in which sexuality is included. More over, according to motivation by Abraham Maslow, in his stage stages of his theory which is psychological needs, this is the basic and primary needs of aan and in which sexual gratification is among.

At 17, he is young, but not a kid per say.. boys tend to start getting 'curious' from as early as 15..

My advise is DO NOT tell him or show signs that you saw porn on his phone. Rather, get closer to him, try to encourage a relationship where he can trust you to confide in you about his personal life..

Don't make such a fuss about this .. so as not to push him away. He will continue watching it but just get better at hiding, while you would've made him feel embarrassed for nothing.

Most boys watch porn, it's nothing new.

Danhoys:


I'm also thinking of temporarily suspending him from using the phone, at least three days.

collecting the phone without educating him about the danger of is nt wise even if u collect the phone he may be watching it with his freinds phne in sch or smwhere else and after u give him the phne he may go back to it again

The best thing is for 2 poison his mind abt porn capture his mind let him be the one to decide never to watch it again it's better.

Danhoys:


Doesn't Itel have smartphones? Please read my post very well, especially where I stated my intention for buying him the device.

I wanted a device that he can use to start learning programming, so a small Nokia wouldn't serve in that regard.

sorry for the pain it must have brought u.

richmondefosa:


For the bolded, i think you really need to seat him down and talk to him on the dangers. Since he has always been a good boy, all hope is not lost. He will listen.
There are tons of apps you can use to monitor his online activity. Also, if he is not too techy, then there is the possibility that he hasn't gone incognito.You can check his browser history.
Do not make it obvious that he is being monitored, else he might get smarter in hiding. Show him love.
What kind of friends does he keep too? Do not take away privileges yet.
Then as a last resort, if he doesn't change, use emotional blackmail.

I've been shying away from sex subjects, forgetting that my innocent boy can Impregnate a woman lol.

There isn't much in his search history. He's more focused on games and Facebook, and some educational apps that I've installed for him.

Since he's always on Facebook, I had to limit the app usage to 3hrs every day. I don't want to breed a Facebook addict.

His friends aren't saints, not notorious either. They do visit and I ensure they are always comfortable.

He is also football freak, and goes to training every week. To be honest, I don't know the kind of friends he has in this football academy, but I assume it's all about football and nothing else.

I might go over there this weekend to see his coach.

Thanks for your advice. It helps.

The importance of sex education cannot be overemphasized.But which one is hardcore porn?I though all porn is porn.

ALLOW THE NIGGA JARE.
ELSE YOU'D MAKE HIM WILDER THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE.WHY THE F U C K DID U EVEN GO THROUGH HIS PHONE?YOU GOT WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.THAT GIRL UP THERE SAYING BOYS START GETTING CURIOUS AT AGE 15 IS TALKING SHIT...YOU CAN FIND A BOY OF 16 STILL A VIRGIN BUT A GIRL OF 13 ALREADY HAS 3 TO 4 BODY COUNTS..

Danhoys:


I've been shying away from sex subjects, forgetting that my innocent boy can Impregnate a woman lol.

There isn't much in his search history. He's more focused on games and Facebook, and some educational apps that I've installed for him.

Since he's always on Facebook, I had to limit the app usage to 3hrs every day. I don't want to breed a Facebook addict.

His friends aren't saints, not notorious either. They do visit and I ensure they are always comfortable.

He is also football freak, and goes to training every week. To be honest, I don't know the kind of friends he has in this football academy, but I assume it's all about football and nothing else.

I might go over there this weekend to see his coach.

Thanks for your advice. It helps.

Glad i could be of help.

Mandela27:
ALLOW THE NIGGA JARE.
ELSE YOU'D MAKE HIM WILDER THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE.WHY THE Bleep DID U EVEN WENT THROUGH HIS PHONE?YOU GOT WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.THAT GIRL UP THERE SAYING BOYS START GETTING CURIOUS AT AGE 15 IS TALKING SHIT...YOU CAN FIND A BOY OF 16 STILL A VIRGIN BUT A GIRL OF 13 ALREADY HAS 3 TO 4 BODY COUNTS..

He's not 18 yet, so going through a device I bought for him shouldn't be a taboo.

Danhoys:


I'm also thinking of temporarily suspending him from using the phone, at least three days.

You Should also sit him down and explain to him the dangers of getting addicted to porn.

Do not try to hide anything from him, he is no longer a small boy.

Do not be harsh on him on the porn videos issue or else he will do it where you can't find out. Most guys have done this just to explore. It doesn't always necessarily mean he will impregnate a girl.

phelonrays:


Out grow what ??

Did you know how many years it took me to finally Say No to Porn ??

That is you. People are different.
You were an addict.

HarunaWest:

That is you. People are different.
You were an addict.

Anyone can be an addict without proper support and guidance. It's only a few that broke free on their own, and it's always rare.

Sex or pornography is not a taboo in my dictionary, but I'm hoping to fix his attention on something more productive.

Perhaps later in life, he can even participate in a sex orgy for all I care. But first, he's got to develop and build himself mentally, and know what he really wants.

That's what I'm trying to do, to support and guide, not control him.

Where is the boys father?
Things like this are supposed to be handled by his father not you!! if his father is not in the picture look for a man he respects to talk to him about sex and urges.

you cant get through to him he'll begin to keep his social distance from you...you can talk to your daughter about sex and period let his father talk to him cause only his father can relate.

As a child my dad saw a porn Cd packet in my room...called me inside, sat me down and talked to me about the dangers of such especially cos i was 15 or so, i remember telling him not to tell my mum, he said he wouldn't but i know he did, they tell each other everything thing.

the point is my mom did not say a word about it to me because it wasn'y her place.

Danhoys:


He's not 18 yet, so going through a device I bought for him shouldn't be a taboo.

SIS YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN THE BEST POSITION TO EDUCATE HIM ON SEX,HIS DAD SHOULD DO THAT,HE SHOULD TELL HIM ABOUT THE DANGERS OF GETTING ADDICTED TO PORN,FAPPING,HE SHOULD TELL HIM HIS MENTAL HEALTH WOULD BE AFFECTED SO BAD.AND YOU,NEVER GO THROUGH HIS PHONE AGAIN,IF YOU DIDNT WANT THE PHONE TO BE FOR HIS EYES ONLY,THEN YOU SHOULDNT HAVE BOUGHT IF FOR HIM.FUC.KK,YOU WOMEN JUST WANTO KNOW AND SEE EVERYTHING...

Danhoys:


Anyone can be an addict without proper support and guidance. It's only a few that broke free on their own, and it's always rare.

Sex or pornography is not a taboo in my dictionary, but I'm hoping to fix his attention on something more productive.

Perhaps later in life, he can even participate in a sex orgy for all I care. But first, he's got to develop and build himself mentally, and know what he really wants.

That's what I'm trying to do, to support and guide, not control him.

He is in the age of curiousity.
Just let him be. If you caution him too much, he will delve more into it. He will then become the sort of kid that prays to leave the house for higher institution where he can have freedom.. If there is anyone to advice him, it should be a male person in his life. His dad or probably and uncle that he respects.

I know how you are feeling as a mum. It can be painful, but trust me he is just acting his age..Its a phase that he will overcome.

HarunaWest:

He is in the age of curiousity.
Just let him be. If you caution him too much, he will delve more into it. He will then become the sort of kid that prays to leave the house for higher institution where he can have freedom.. If there is anyone to advice him, it should be a male person in his life. His dad or probably and uncle that he respects.

I know how you are feeling as a mum. It can be painful, but trust me he is just acting his age..Its a phase that he will overcome.

Thanks for your wise words. I would have to hand this issue to his elder brother, since his father is not capable at the moment.