Danhoys:
My son is 17 years, and I got him a smartphone not too long ago during his birthday.

We're now in the tech era, and I was hoping to get him exposed to tech, and consequently stimulate his interest in programming.

However, I was going through his phone this morning and found some hardcore porn videos.

He's currently in school now, and I want to seek the advice of NLders before taking any action when he returns.

Is 17 years too young to own a smartphone? I sincerely doubt. What's the best way to handle this situation?

Thanks!

congratulations, your son is maturing

HarunaWest:

That is you. People are different.
You were an addict .

Lol..

I woke up in the morning and become and addict; abi.??

It hasn't crossed your mind that Palm wine goes by drops before you realize a gallon full?

Stay there, be deceiving yourself...

Danhoys:


Thanks for your wise words. I would have to hand this issue to his elder brother, since his father is not capable at the moment.

lovely..You are welcome

phelonrays:


Lol..

I woke up in the morning and become and addict; abi.??

It hasn't crossed your mind that Palm wine goes by drops before you realize a gallon full?

Stay there, be deceiving yourself...

Uncle Palm Wine i watched porn more than you ooo. But i decided to halt one day.
The power to say NO is what many people can not overcome....

Mandela27:
SIS YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN THE BEST POSITION TO EDUCATE HIM ON SEX,HIS DAD SHOULD DO THAT,HE SHOULD TELL HIM ABOUT THE DANGERS OF GETTING ADDICTED TO PORN,FAPPING,HE SHOULD TELL HIM HIS MENTAL HEALTH WOULD BE AFFECTED SO BAD.AND YOU,NEVER GO THROUGH HIS PHONE AGAIN,IF YOU DIDNT WANT THE PHONE TO BE FOR HIS EYES ONLY,THEN YOU SHOULDNT HAVE BOUGHT IF FOR HIM.FUC.KK,YOU WOMEN JUST WANTO KNOW AND SEE EVERYTHING...

I'm his mother, and I have a healthy relationship with my son. I can talk to him about sex, without having to make him feel ashamed of his action.

After all, sex is a normal part of life. Getting his dad involved could even be worse, as he might lose his temper.

I feel protective of him as his mother, reason I went to his phone, to know what he's been up to.

When you have a kid someday, perhaps you'll understand. For now, I don't think you're experienced in this subject.

As long as he is not watching Gay porn he is perfectly normal but if you want to be iron lady just restrict the site on his browser,but if you talk to teenagers or ever teach some of them before you would be amaze how much they know and how they find it amusing their parents strictness to such matters but when you open up to them then you can guide them right and correct them and help them focus on their career path rather than little pleasures.

as early as 5am ,wake him up and talk to him....na the best time my papa dey advise me then and it really worked

Whaooo. The boy has chosen the career path at early age

remove that phone from him far b4 he starts practicing anything he sees there with his sisters, buy him a smaller phone to make n receive calls from u and to u,

Kuns84:


Why so?
Or are you a single mother?

I know the husband I married, he wouldn't be able to handle this sensitive subject properly.

Despite my immense knowledge in human psychology and behavior, I still came here looking for inputs.

Dealing with teens is complicated, and I want to make sure I don't say the wrong words, or do the wrong things.

Thanks for your input so far.

uruba23:
As long as he is not watching Gay porn he is perfectly normal but if you want to be iron lady just restrict the site on his browser,but if you talk to teenagers or ever teach some of them before you would be amaze how much they know and how they find it amusing their parents strictness to such matters but when you open up to them then you can guide them right and correct them and help them focus on their career path rather than little pleasures.

I really don't see a difference between straight and gay porn. Even if he's gay, it is still inappropriate to watch such at an early age.

Very soon he will join the long list of Vaseline crew...

Danhoys:


I really don't see a difference between straight and gay porn. Even if he's gay, it is still inappropriate to watch such at an early age.

Agree it is inappropriate because it is rated 18 and he is 17.

DONFRANSKID:
Seize the phone Don't beat him talk to him like a mother, trust me beating him wouldn't solve the issue

Seizing his phone isn't the solution, I was in jss1 when I saw a porn video and I never had a phone then....

Lol my crazy classmates usually sneak their phones to sch...

My advice is just to give him sex education, pornography is now becoming an epidemic. You can hardly open a normal website without porn ads popping out...

Danhoys:
My son is 17 years, and I got him a smartphone not too long ago during his birthday.

We're now in the tech era, and I was hoping to get him exposed to tech, and consequently stimulate his interest in programming.

However, I was going through his phone this morning and found some hardcore porn videos.

He's currently in school now, and I want to seek the advice of NLders before taking any action when he returns.

Is 17 years too young to own a smartphone? I sincerely doubt. What's the best way to handle this situation?

Thanks!

A 17 yr old boy would be uneasy(embarass) when his mum explain sex and porn education.

But, if not, explain to him about sex and porn, be straightforward.

Explain why porn is bad, which would affect how he relates with girls, also can be addictive. Also, explain to him about sex, when its necessary(age); the consequences of sex.

He may not ask questions, because he is embarassed. All said to him would be in his mind.

Kuns84:


How dare you make such conclusions. So basically he's not man enough to handle the affairs of his own son right?

Such audacity you've got .. to boldly emasculate your son's father like this. Stay in your motherfvcking lane madam.

You feel emasculated, and please stop projecting your insecurities.

Having said that, it is worth to note that not everyone is capable of heart to heart talk, especially in sensitive issues.

My husband is an incredible superhero, unfortunately I find him incapable of handling this situation having known his strengths and weaknesses.

Despite being a professional psychologist, I still find myself incapable since he's my son, talk of someone who knows nothing about such a field.

Most men will always resort to force, anger, or even beating. I don't want that!

Kuns84:


Madam ITK, if you like, project whatever you wanna project on me

Still doesnt change the fact that you need to mind your business!

You can never stop him from watching porn, neither can you play the role of a father to him.

I'm his mother, that makes him my business.

Perhaps you grew up not having such attention from parents, hence this mindset.

I can only hope that parenting improve in this side of the globe.

Thanks for your contribution so far.

Danhoys:


I'm his mother, and I have a healthy relationship with my son. I can talk to him about sex, without having to make him feel ashamed of his action.

After all, sex is a normal part of life. Getting his dad involved could even be worse, as he might lose his temper.

I feel protective of him as his mother, reason I went to his phone, to know what he's been up to.

When you have a kid someday, perhaps you'll understand. For now, I don't think you're experienced in this subject.

YOUR DUTY AS A MADA IS TO LOVE HIM AND NOT TO BUG HIM WITH HIS WHATEVER ATTITUDE.SO WHAT IS HIS FATHER'S JOB IF I MAY ASK?YOU DEY DO PASS UR DUTY MA

Mandela27:
YOUR DUTY AS A MADA IS TO LOVE HIM AND NOT TO BUG HIM WITH HIS WHATEVER ATTITUDE.SO WHAT IS HIS FATHER'S JOB IF I MAY ASK?YOU DEY DO PASS UR DUTY MA

So it isn't my job to correct and educate my son?

How do NLders think for Christ sake?

It will be best to take this to Reddit or Quora.

Thanks for your input.

Kuns84:


No mind am.

She opened this silly thread knowing exactly what actions she's gonna take anyway. May God deliver all young men from intrusive, I too sabi mothers like this.

Wouldnt be surprised if the boy watches porn as an escape from his nosy, nagging mother. From the sound of things, popsy has logged out too .

It is better to live in a corner of the roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman - proverbs 25:24.

Perhaps that's the type of environment you grew up in. Sadly, the case isn't the same here.

I love my son, and our relationship is strong and healthy. As far as I know, he's a good boy, doesn't disobey and always does his assignments.

I don't restrict him from hanging out or having fun, for as long as he's done with his home chores which entail washing of plates and sweeping the house.

I can't even remember the last time I shouted or beat my son, cause I don't believe in those devices.

My dream is to ensure my son grow up from a conducive environment. Watching of porn is also normal among teens.. I'm not even angry about it, but seeking for ways to educate him and nothing more.

When you have your own kids one day, you'll understand better.

Thank you.

Kuns84:


No mind am.

She opened this silly thread knowing exactly what actions she's gonna take anyway. May God deliver all young men from intrusive, I too sabi mothers like OP.

Wouldnt be surprised if the boy watches porn as an escape from his nosy, nagging mother. From the sound of things, popsy has logged out too .

It is better to live in a corner of the roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman - proverbs 25:24.

SWEARS.THESE WOMEN THINK THE BEST WAY TO TAME A BOY IS TO MONITOR HIM,NAG,BE OVERLY PROTECTIVE.SHIT,THEY ARE ONLY MAKING THE BOYS WISER AND SMARTER AND EVENTUALLY END UP SEEING THEM AS ONE OF THEIR PROBLEMS.

Mandela27:
SWEARS.THESE WOMEN THINK THE BEST WAY TO TAME A BOY IS TO MONITOR HIM,NAG,BE OVERLY PROTECTIVE.SHIT,THEY ARE ONLY MAKING THE BOYS WISER AND SMARTER AND EVENTUALLY END UP SEEING THEM AS ONE OF THEIR PROBLEMS.

It's obvious you're a teen. You'll know better when you're older.

Danhoys:


It's obvious you're a teen. You'll know better when you're older.

LOL.REST,NO BE UR OWN I WAN TALK.

To be honest with u Op. As a man who grew under the watch of a single mum , it is best advised u allow his dad wade into this sensitive issue. There are so many things I wish it was my dad who mentored me, but sadly my mum did all of that.....

Danhoys:


It's obvious you're a teen. You'll know better when you're older.

Danhoys:


Perhaps that's the type of environment you grew up in. Sadly, the case isn't the same here.

I love my son, and our relationship is strong and healthy. As far as I know, he's a good boy, doesn't disobey and always does his assignments.

I don't restrict him from hanging out or having fun, for as long as he's done with his home chores which entail washing of plates and sweeping the house.

I can't even remember the last time I shouted or beat my son, cause I don't believe in those devices.

My dream is to ensure my son grow up from a conducive environment. Watching of porn is also normal among teens.. I'm not even angry about it, but seeking for ways to educate him and nothing more.

When you have your own kids one day, you'll understand better.

Thank you.

Madam, I grew up in an all boys household and I also have sons (though mine are still babies/ toddlers).

From the sound of things, you've got a good boy on your hands - so what more do you want?

You can't control every aspect of his life ma. It is his FATHER's job to discuss sex with him, not yours.

If you have a daughter, you are free to do all these with her. Leave that boy alone and stop going through his phone. He will approach his father when he's ready to discuss - but if he never does, that's fine too!