Bro, you are thoughtful and it is commendable. That is a green light already.
Most women are actually selfish and only cares about themselves alone expecially in marriage.
"Her money is her money but your own money is our money".
My honest advice to you is to do all that is possible within your reach to help her in her business and pursuit but never with a mindset of expecting anything in return because if you are let down, your relationship may grow Toxic.
Just focus on yourself and ensure you are financially stable.
Advicing you to live her may not be that easy, there is no woman without her own kasala. You only try to be tolerant, exercise self control and be loving in patience.

While the response of your parents shows lack of concern for your well being, that one of your wife to be is worrisome. Even if it was to lie, she should have had the courtesy to lie and say she would contribute out of concern. Saying it our right and straight to your face that she wont shows she would mean, lack empathy, and you will be her meal ticket comfort. She would gladly go to the highest bidder in future. Flee from such, she has made no investment to getting you to were you are today. Your search for a wife is not over yet.

What are you expecting her to say? I will be buying foodstuff to assist you or I will be paying the utility bills?

You don't ask her what she is going to do. As a responsible lady, she knows what and where to help. You better don't let nairaland make u loose good lady as you said it us only dz aspect that is of concern.

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

My Anonymous, there is an adage in yoruba that says:
if it faces you, catapult it.
If it is at your back, catapult it
If you lonely, think deeply.

Your anger on the response of your proposed wife to be is that she said that she did not want you assign any responsibilities to her after your investment on tailoring business. But you forget that by the time she gives babies also she will want to display/showcase her handwork on your kids without asking you for a dime, is that NOT RESPONSIBILITY.

Montaque:


O boy. They don dey cause person wey wan help. You pray he should lose his job?? How will the girl get 1.5m now?

Angry and bitter girls. Parasites looking for who to leech on.

She has a family oga.

Lazy men. Leeches looking for girls to feed them. Isn't it the order of the day now.

Lol from the comments, I can see we have bunch of kids on the loose.

This is Africa, and if you agree that the man is the head of the family, then what exactly are you on about?
The lady in question said her mind and there's absolutely nothing wrong with her reply.
You my friend, have the responsibility to provide! That's your job.

The way you are analysing her reply here, is the same way she'll be analysing your question.
Because that question itself has a lot of interpretations.

From personal experience ehh, you see the very hardworking ladies with little or no obiakpo(strong heart), they are the ones that will quickly flash your sole responsibility on you cos they won't want you to relent and push the whole family finance burden to them.

But you see the ones that will support this your 'how much are you bringing' they will most likely do that out of desperation and na their type go show you shege when the chips are down.

You should also be worried about your own mindset entering the marriage, honestly you should.

is she the only girl in the world??

NiRfreak:


Don't invest on her yet. Use the money to invest in yourself or your own personal business since you are going to bear the financial responsibility of the family. Use your head. Don't bring stress early in your marriage into ya life.

It seems she will respect you more when u have all the money and cater for the family exclusively
.
Create a business in ya own name and run it...so when u have enough money u can give away without feeling pained of the consequences, u may now give her to invest in herself. Thats even in the name of love

Thread closed

We are missing something in this generation, as Christians if you studying your Bible very well, there is no place it tell us that the responsibility of the house is for the husband.
See what the bible say concerning both families
First
Is not good for man to be Alone,let me give him a helper that we sut for him
2 is not good for man to be alone Cox two are better than one, if one fall the other one will raise him up. The Bible referring to woman as house wife you need to help ur husband in everything
3,Man love your wife
4, Wife Submitte to your man.
You can see it now that the responsibility of the house is not for the man alone.
In this generation they advised us not to married a woman that's not working. If I may ask why ask not do so?
Answer so that help may come from both the two side thanks.

Last week, my girlfriend I am planning to get married to next year by the grace of God, I noticed how moody and not her usual self and I asked her what the problem was? Her reply was, she is worried we are getting married next year and possibly start a family and she doesn't have work or business, how is she going to support her husband in running the home in this difficult times. So to be frank with you bruh, that her reply is not okay at all. Forget about what the family tell you, The world is changing now, I don't know how rich you are, but you need support from your wife.
You need to sit her down and discuss with her you must change her perception, or better still use your money to invest in other business let her enjoy from the proceed.

Op, so she thinks one income will suffice a new family in the 21st century and during a global pandemic?
Dump her immediately with that selfish mindset!!!!!!! No talk, no reasoning or negotiating, just rubbish her and find a nice babe that wants to contribute from the start and give you peace of mind. This one signals future mental pain, stress, and suffering.

Humour time.
WTF, is she bringing to the table?

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

My friend please go ahead and marry her based on below points & Solution followed.
1: You have checked her attributes and testified she has everything you need in a woman.
2: You really loved her and believed she would make u a happy man as a husband and giving you a good home which is the most important.
3: You are right and lucky to have asked her and at least you have known how far she can go with you.
4: Your mother is right making you know that you remain the man and should keep your head afloat as the bread winner with voluntary contributions from your wife. That will be her stand if such problems occur in the future and the matter brought to her table.
5: U CAN NEVER FIND A PERFECT WOMAN FOR MARRIAGE so put #1 here into consideration.

SOLUTION:

1: Open up a business for her just for her going out and coming back therefore keeping her busy since idle mind is devil workshop as it is said.
2: The amount to invest should now depend on what you can afford to ignore.
3: Let her solve some of her little problems & even helping her family members from the proceeds. WITH THIS SHE STILL CONTRIBUTES IN ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.
4: Find a way of having more sources of legitimate incomes to remain afloat financially knowing the woman you have as a wife.
5: Apply wisdom next time you want to discuss anything that concerns money with her but don't punish her for this as she is just human.

Pray and ask God to guide you further.

I have never seen a man that have graduated from this institution called MARRIAGE.

annyz:


My friend please go ahead and marry her based on below points & Solution followed.
1: You have checked her attributes and testified she has everything you need in a woman.
2: You really loved her and believed she would make u a happy man as a husband and giving you a good home which is the most important.
3: You are right and lucky to have asked her and at least you have known how far she can go with you.
4: Your mother is right making you know that you remain the man and should keep your head afloat as the bread winner with voluntary contributions from your wife. That will be her stand if such problems occur in the future and the matter brought to her table.
5: U CAN NEVER FIND A PERFECT WOMAN FOR MARRIAGE so put #1 here into consideration.

SOLUTION:

1: Open up a business for her just for her going out and coming back therefore keeping her busy since idle mind is devil workshop as it is said.
2: The amount to invest should now depend on what you can afford to ignore.
3: Let her solve some of her little problems & even helping her family members from the proceeds. WITH THIS SHE STILL CONTRIBUTES IN ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.
4: Find a way of having more sources of legitimate incomes to remain afloat financially knowing the woman you have as a wife.
5: Apply wisdom next time you want to discuss anything that concerns money with her but don't punish her for this as she is just human.

Pray and ask God to guide you further.

I have never seen a man that have graduated from this institution called MARRIAGE.

Stop it!

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Well,
I won't say you are not thinking right. Marriage is a union of two people (a man and a woman) to become one. And when it comes to responsibilities, it should be handled as one. More pressure shouldn't be on one than the other. Society has and still teaching us that, handling responsibilities at home, is what makes a man. No sir!
It's not, it's part of it. This is what send some men to early grave or brings heavy depression on them.
My wife should be able to account for some responsibilities at home too, even as I do. It's our home, our family, our marriage. She's called a HELPER! So she should help in all ways.

P.S: This is not to approve and encourage some lazy men out there. We must ensure that we are truly the Head of the Family.

I think she responded that way because you were prejudging her.

You are not yet married to her and she has not fully started the business to know how she would handle the money that would come from it but you already can see into the future to know how she would behave.. Haba !



IMO you were too blunt are direct and most ladies don't like this There's a proper way to go about this to get her to act the way you expect. You may have offended her without realising it.



You're already putting pressure on her for a marriage she has not entered into and a business she has not fully started..

You already should know the kind of person she is dating her. Selfish or not and a selfish person is a selfish person anywhere and anytime

Your are lucky she is completely depending on you if not she may consider ending the relationship.

Na wife you wan marry nor be girlfriend. Take advice from those who are already married and have experience in this kind of situation.

Don't take serious her response. You would be surprised she would act differently by the time she gets married to you .

Na so most women dey do.Dem nor dey answer straight ..e nor easy to understand some of them


There are certain things you can know about a woman without directly asking her. If you go direct ,she can take offence and you may lose her.

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

u have thought In the right direction, at least if she doesn't really support u, she should be able to cater for her self, in between. 1.5m will only buy you 6 Tvs bike. Keke maruwa is 890k presently.

it's bad enough if a woman does not have a job.
this woman has a job(work) but doesn't want her money to drop in supporting the family finances.
my brother, if ur wife cannot support you in assisting with the family finances, how else can she help you?

RichAbujaGuy:


Stop it!

Stop what

Bro... You know try o.... There are some things you ought to keep to yourself and that makes you a man... You are beginning to make me think whether you are something else...gwaaaaash

Nigerian girls are useless I can never invest my money in Nigerian girl wey no be my mama or wey my mama no born

imagine the entitlement mentality baba your wasting your your time with a gold digger

Don't marry that girl please.

earthrealm:


You surely are overthinking this.
Lemme play the devils advocate here, how would you feel if she asked you how to share the house chores?. She sweeps rooms, you sweep parlor?

An empowered wife is an asset to any man,
Saves you wahala of her asking you for toilet roll and matches money , and even her own family financial issues, she would solve it her self, and would only involve you if its major...

However some people are different and prefer being the only iroko tree in the family, that people come to for help, if that is your mindset, go ahead and dont empower your wife.

Lastly, this habit of asking opinions from family members is wrong, should ypu seek opinions, getting it from strangers who dont even know you is the best.

You are sure of balanced and unbiased advice

When you see married people with experience you know .

I salute your wisdom sir

@ bolded 1 that is exactly how his question sounds

@2nd bolded all these nairaland boys don't understand, he is expecting ROI,business transaction loool.


Let him keep his money then.

Zzor:
I support her fully, it's a big turn off for a man to be asking hid wife to be such question,assist her if you can from your heart and I believe she's wise enough to know where and when to assist you as per responsibilities. I hate guys who throw such question,i have ignored a guy for this reason and till today he's still wondering what he did to me, don't give me the impression that your eyes are fixed on my money, its a big turn off

You again

Dear Brother,

From all indications, your head is correct.

One thing you must understand from what those elderly people said to you is that they are talking based on their time and dispensation, of which those things have changed drastically, and all those mindsets that they had then are no longer obtainable in our modern-day world.

Gone are the days when men will be made to work themselves to the grave all in the bid of catering for the well-being of the family.

The valid truth of today's reality is that any woman or lady that is not helping the man carry some financial burden or taking other kinds of responsibility to see that the family forges ahead If she has the capacity to is then a liability.

May God deliver us from such gold digger.
Amen!

EKEKPROHJACKSO:
We are missing something in this generation, as Christians if you studying your Bible very well, there is no place it tell us that the responsibility of the house is for the husband.
See what the bible say concerning both families
First
Is not good for man to be Alone,let me give him a helper that we sut for him
2 is not good for man to be alone Cox two are better than one, if one fall the other one will raise him up. The Bible referring to woman as house wife you need to help ur husband in everything
3,Man love your wife
4, Wife Submitte to your man.
You can see it now that the responsibility of the house is not for the man alone.
In this generation they advised us not to married a woman that's not working. If I may ask why ask not do so?
Answer so that help may come from both the two side thanks.

Don’t mind them when it’s time to push their selfish agenda they’ll say the Bible called the man the head, but they forget the Bible asked them to submit when pushing gender equality and feminism. It’s this glaring selfishness that irks me about most Naija ladies. I don’t have problem taking care of a woman that behaves herself but most ladies nowadays go into relationships for selfish reasons.

Relationship is not a poverty alleviation program

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few nsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Well this is the essence of courting or dating someone before you marry them. A lot of things are keys. Compatibility in certain areas cannot be toyed with. Depending on certain individuals, some things are non negotiable. For some, it could be the issue of religion, attitude concerning family, financial dealings etc.
Discussions on financial responsibility is very pivotal to marriage and this is usually seen while dating a lady.
Dating is very very different from marriage. A lot of married men, if they open up and tell you what their women do in marriage, you will be shocked.
But most women will cover up and you will never know the woman is a solid contributor financially. From the outside, you will get the impression that it's all the mans financial muscle.

Now if this means a lot to you and this lady does not believe in contributing to her family's upliftment, bros you go suffer inside marriage with her You will bear the burden so bad and become resentful. You need to have a serious chat with her and watch her every reaction. If she doesn't change, then it's up to you. You cannot change your mother's opinion or even change her as a mother. But you can change girl friend or fiancee.

PS: cultivate the habit of NOT reporting little things to your mother/in-laws. Learn it now or you will have more issues to contend with later

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Boss you valid, it is a well known fact that during the course of marriage trials would come and go, sapaa will come and go and it won't be all rosy. As a man like you my investment in my girlfriend/wife to be is only to cushion the effects of whatever test that comes our way but i have to the realization that women don't think this way maybe not all shaa but the bulk of them. they want to eat their cake and have it. They want a serial provider and don't want to provide even relationships of today you'll see girls not doing shii for their bf and they ask ask ask and bicker like the bvthces they are when you can't provide. some even go as far as sleeping with men outside for rewards or switching up in their marriages.

back to your matter! I'll share a word my dad told me and he said whatever you do for a woman, do it out of the kindness of your heart because it's like pouring water inside a basket. Don't expect nothing in return. If another man comes and best all your doings, she'll forget you in an instant. They are monkey branchers by nature.
I'll advise you to support and business by providing her with a little sum for startup make she Hussle the rest sabi sey street no easy and use your money as you intend to earlier. let the investment be the failsafe contingency incase shii wan rub you cus lack of money go make woman disrespect man for marriage wella.

Personally I think it's high time we menfolk start dating or looking or looking to settle with women who are capable to help us or our marriages, women do it everytime and call it hypergamy. she'll leave you once you can't provide. Let's do the same, nobody wan marry woman wey no fit help.

Imagine giving your wife monthly upkeep and feeding money plus she works and earn, you go broke one period and she no fit even borrow you 50k talk less of dash you sef. which kind woman be that.

We sef come life to enjoy ooo, no be every time give give give

I rather see you to be the problem, you may end up killing her good motives or intentions.
You are yet to invest but you start counting your profit.
It seems as if you are trying to shift responsibility to her.
May be you want to invest while she becomes the machinery while you go back home watch TV . no it doesn't work that way.
You will have allow her to run the business first after you have invest.

Sadly That's Every naija Girls Mentality!

It's the reason they looking for marriage to someone rich to relief their Burden

Like i always say, Marriage is a burden Relief Institution To African Females

don't blame them, Thats the mentality Instilled in them by their parents sha

Martini101:
As far as you don’t encounter a prolonged hard time during the course of the marriage to her, this one shouldn’t be an issue if the earlier mentioned qualities are maintained and improved on.
NB: Don’t expect to meet a perfect person.

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Don't be hasty in your judgement; have in mind our ladies are one unique species, understand them. I think she might have given you that response because she wants you to appreciate her more if she ends up assisting you [b]

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Don't be hasty in your judgement; have in mind our ladies are one unique species, understand them. I think she might have given you that response because she wants you to appreciate her more if she ends up assisting you [/b]

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Don't be hasty in your judgement; have in mind our ladies are one unique species, understand them. I think she might have given you that response because she wants you to over-appreciate her more if she ends up assisting you with anything, maybe for men to think they are doing something not initially alloted for them to do. most of them think that way, its reasonable for their level tho'.
My advice is that a man should work hard, invest in yourself very well to be perfectly capable, and you won't have to really need her support in materials rather than in prayers; and if she later does more, its going to feel great.
But paradventure, she means what she says, it only points out irresponsibility, immaturity and uncared attitude in the lady, and it nothing but a discredit to the virtuous woman.

RomanGreen:


I pity the simp that will marry you, you ladies see marriage as poverty alleviation program, it's high time men start paying you ladies back in your own coin....now before you broke-shame me, I'm very comfortable and my girlfriend is so very supportive..... Unlike leeches like you who want to reap where they did not sow.....una never see anything, useless gold digging hoes, y'all think your pussies are free ticket to a man's wealth

Asin all the bvtch knows how to do is bicker and bvtch about everything that doesn't end up in favour or doesnt favour women. smelling ass, raggedy lowlife that will hit the wall soon.

We will be waiting for you here madam zzor when you fast approach the wall and hit it like wiley coyote.

This is modern perspective. The old folks would never understand bro. Now that the females demanding equal gender, we also want sharing of responsibilities not necessarily to be equal but they should make contributions.