Is it a taboo for my wife to pack her things out of our matrimonial home. Her brother and brother-in-law came to move all her items including some of mine. Is this also a curse on their head for helping in breaking our marriage due to external family influence and control from her family in our marriage?

No it isn't. She moved out doesn't mean you guys won't resolve issues between yourselves.

Let things like for the time being so you can act on a clear head at a better time

RedPanthar:
No it isn't. She moved out doesn't mean you guys won't resolve issues between yourselves.

Let things like for the time being so you can act on a clear head at a better time

she is trying to force separation and divorce on me

wilblanc1984:


she is trying to force separation and divorce on me

She also may may not be acting on a clear head


Give her time. Later reconnect with one or two of her tight friends. Don't go speaking to her directly.

She thinks been a single monther is easy


Leave her first make she de rascal , Day go break for am

You never told us what you did to her.maybe you have turn her to punchbag and want our idea to resolve your shit.if so you are lucky the family didn't give you blackout.

You must have been physically abusing her for her brothers to come and move her out. You are lucky you are not even in jail

wilblanc1984:
Is it a taboo for my wife to pack her things out of our matrimonial home. Her brother and brother-in-law came to move all her items including some of mine. Is this also a curse on their head for helping in breaking our marriage due to external family influence and control from her family in our marriage?

It is not about taboo or curses as you both know the true health of your marriage, what the issues are and each convinced of being right.

Being away from each other, should provide you both the space to be reflective and ask self, hard questions. When you both are calm, efforts should be made to meet up at a neutral place and talk.

dandollaz:
You never told us what you did to her.maybe you have turn her to punchbag and want our idea to resolve your shit.if so you are lucky the family didn't give you blackout.

I have never been physical or cheated on her.....its all about them wanting to control my marriage

Eketem:
You must have been physically abusing her for her brothers to come and move her out. You are lucky you are not even in jail

I have never been physical and would never be

wilblanc1984:
Is it a taboo for my wife to pack her things out of our matrimonial home. Her brother and brother-in-law came to move all her items including some of mine. Is this also a curse on their head for helping in breaking our marriage due to external family influence and control from her family in our marriage?

You haven't told us what led to this action. Whatever the problem may be, there is always room for dialogue, so fret not.

wilblanc1984:

I have never been physical or cheated on her.....its all about them wanting to control my marriage

You can site instances of the control or series of events.

Nawoooh...wahala be like bicycle

wilblanc1984:
Is it a taboo for my wife to pack her things out of our matrimonial home. Her brother and brother-in-law came to move all her items including some of mine. Is this also a curse on their head for helping in breaking our marriage due to external family influence and control from her family in our marriage?

The kind of questions you're asking sef! You do know that ability to reason well helps greatly in conflict resolution? You tend to express your thought reasonably and understand the other party's expression reasonably.

Biko sit back and think what you could have done better before further moves. Curse kor, taboo ni.

wilblanc1984:

I have never been physical or cheated on her.....its all about them wanting to control my marriage

If what you said is true then take them to umunna(elders).what sort of rubbish to take your wife.

THERE ARE 3 SIDES TO EVERY STORY, LET'S WAIT FOR THE REST.

With this DNA treading season
Two things are certainly
First
It is either they run away first a.k.a pack out to avoid shame that will follow them when their husband discover that one or two of the kids didn't biologically belong him ,
Second
Or they may find a good way to poison their husband just to avoid the embarrassment DNA might bring

Mark my words
This year 2021 a lots of married men will die of food poison ,

Men be more careful this year Biko

wilblanc1984:

1. Is it a taboo for my wife to pack her things out of our matrimonial home.

2. Her brother and brother-in-law came to move all her items including some of mine. Is this also a curse on their head for helping in breaking our marriage due to external family influence and control from her family in our marriage?

It is not a taboo.

Why did they come to move her things?

Before you worry about the curse or not, why don't you worry about the state of your marriage?

You better enjoy this time out, have all the fun you can have now because she is coming back and then you will be stuck for good.

I think if your wife left home, then she had important reasons for it.
Mostly women are very loyal and patient, and if she still dares to leave you, then you have done something that she can no longer tolerate.
It is very interesting that you did not describe why she left. I think you're hiding it because you know it's your fault. Maybe you insulted her, or even beat her.
I don't think the brothers came for no reason. I think she called them to feel more secure.
If she wants a divorce, it means that your relationship can no longer be saved. Leave her alone and live on.

OGA... HABA!!! You needed a breathing space to cool off, she too needed same... or do you want to suffocate because u want to retain the status married?

Please let her cool off and think, while you do same... if there's something to salvage from it, it will work better with clear head... This is the best time to think about the relationship... not to apportion blame from external parties... ask yourself nice questions like do I want to continue?,....WHY SHOULD I EVEN CONTINUE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP?.. if I do want to continue, what should I do to make it work? what Have I not done that I needed to do to make it work...? etc...

N.B: I don't care about what transpired between both of you but I must say that i like the parent of the girl already... they don't want their daughter to end up in a coffin because of "MRS" Status...

wilblanc1984:


she is trying to force separation and divorce on me

it can be emotionally hard when one person wants the breakup but the other doesn’t.

You can’t force her. For now let her go and explore avenues for reconciliation. Your parents? Your community leaders? Your religious leaders? Who is available to help? You said you weren’t physically abusive. That’s a good thing.
But why specifically does she want out?

Something is really amiss if you claimed your wife packed out voluntarily from your home (NOT that you gave the other as most men do,and even yet the wife refuses to leave). This is really strange and absurd these modern times. as most women with even the worst of ill treatment move no were but still endure the worst. Two of you are insincere to each other and dont think you are ready for marriage. that is to say she is ready to repeat such over and over again if any issue comes up. You all have to refine your marital vows to avoid some unpleasant circumstances as is happening day in day out.

It is not a curse. And sometimes, it is justified when a woman packs out of her house. Sometimes the husband can be unreasonable and even abusive. She's a human being, why won't she pack out?

cococandy:
it can be emotionally hard when one person wants the breakup but the other doesn’t.

You can’t force her. For now let her go and explore avenues for reconciliation. Your parents? Your community leaders? Your religious leaders? Who is available to help? You said you weren’t physically abusive. That’s a good thing.
But why specifically does she want out?

I have never cheated on her too....

wilblanc1984:


I have never cheated on her too....

You didn't cheat, you didn't hit her and she left?

wilblanc1984:


I have never cheated on her too....

good for you both. Those are not the only marital issues that exist. Something must have happened.

Forget about curses and seek solutions

cococandy:
good for you both. Those are not the only marital issues that exist. Something must have happened.

Forget about curses and seek solutions

The issue is too much family interferences from her side and they want to control everything we do in our marriage. They want to have me under their control. There is nothing that happens or decision we need to make as spouses that her family isn't aware of and tries to influence

Something must have caused it. She couldn't have just moved out of your house like that with the help of her brother in-law for that matter..

Anyways, to your question, it's not a taboo. It's called separation pending when you guys are able to resolve the issue on ground. So it's allowed. Try and meet with the family to settle it before it drags on for long and leads to divorce.

salisuammy:

You didn't cheat, you didn't hit her and she left?

Or maybe he's a poor guy trying to survive and the wife came from a rich family who doesn't want their daughter been with a struggling guy.Or they are financially contributing to the op's home and are now detecting when the op will mate his wife....



My opinion oooo

chii8:



Or maybe he's a poor guy trying to survive and the wife came from a rich family who doesn't want their daughter been with a struggling guy.Or they are financially contributing to the op's home and are now detecting when the op will mate his wife....



My opinion oooo

Possible, but no good woman just leaves her home without any provocation.

wilblanc1984:


The issue is too much family interferences from her side and they want to control everything we do in our marriage. They want to have me under their control. There is nothing that happens or decision we need to make as spouses that her family isn't aware of and tries to influence

So it sounds like you’re the one who should be wanting out of the situation.
If she comes back to you, are you willing to live in a marriage heavily influenced by her family? Do you see an end to their interference?
It’s good to know what you’re willing to accept or not before you insist she comes back.

Just because you want the marriage to continue doesn’t mean that’s what’s best for you. She left because according to you, you won’t let her family control you. She has therefore made it clear what conditions she wants for the marriage to continue.

You wanting her back means you agree to those conditions or are you hoping you can change her and her family?