He is brave who asks for forgiveness but the one who forgives is the bravest. It is not only difficult to forgive but at times it is difficult to forget. It takes a lot of courage to forgive and forget. In any form of relationships you or your partner or other family members are seen making mistakes and asking for forgiveness and then being excused for faults and mistakes is a part of life. But at times your partner makes such mistakes that you find it difficult to forgive. Especially in a married life when one of the partners hurts your feelings badly you find it hard to forgive. And even if you forgive you cannot forget it. It hovers over your mind and irritates you again and again. So when you forgive learn to forget it too as unless you forget you cannot forgive completely. You are always suspecting your partner to be committing that mistake again. That trust seems to have lost. In marriages couples often make mistakes. They involve into extra marital affairs, an act that is very common in relationships. Couples tend to get carried away and involve into affairs with colleagues and other friends thus creating problems in their married life.

Once the secret is disclosed you or your partner who ever is on the wrong asks for forgiveness. You both sit together and forgive and start your relationship afresh. Everything is fine now. Your partner has promised never to repeat that mistake again and as been forgiven by you. But actually everything is not fine. At the back of your mind you have questions filled up such as is he or she going again with that person or with someone else? It’s quite late and your partner has not turned up you start thinking is your mate with that person at such and such place with such and such person who embittered your relationship. It is normal to have such thoughts. Although it is difficult yet it is important to learn to trust. Once both the partners sit together to solve the problem and the offender comes up with a commitment never to make that blunder again then the defaulter should stick to his promises and never break that trust while the offended should have full trust on the other partner. “Forgiving is the highest form of human behavior that can be shown to another person. Forgetting is equally as high a human behavior; it is letting go of the need to seek revenge for past offenses.” You should show complete trust on your partner and should not constantly ask him or her about questions related to it such as where have you been? Were you again with….! Such questions create an unhealthy atmosphere. There is distrust and it is likely that your partner again commits the same fault, now out of irritation.

Loving and forgiving are the biggest asset in a relationship but that does not mean that the partner who has been pardoned need to repeat that mistake again. It is a heinous crime to break the trust again when once you have been forgiven. If you reiterate your mistake after being pardoned then you need to think twice as what you do comes back to you. And somewhere or the other you would be paying for such mistrust. In the long run you would be searching for a stable partner and find it difficult to get as a precious relationships are hard to find and even more difficult to find such forgiving and understanding partners.

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Easier said than done. How do you forgive or forget a fiance that destroyed your happiness. She cheated over and over again ! forgiveness is easier but forgetting will require a brain surgery !

Sweet T:

@Topic
Easier said than done. How do you forgive or forget a fiance that destroyed your happiness. She cheated over and over again ! forgiveness is easier but forgetting will require a brain surgery !

I totally agree.
When a guy who has given you joy and happiness, and you completely love him. All of a sudden you hear/see that he's cheating on you. Forgiveness might take a week, months or even years but forgetting is totally out of the question. You can't pretend it never happened. You can only pretend to forget.

Tru that it is soooo easier said than done
and You cnt do one (forgive) and not the other.(forget), so if You cnt do both in a relationship
after the other partner cheats then
i suggest You don't stay in it , cause its not helping anyone

Forgiving someone is not bad at all, infact it makes u human,but to forget is very hard because he who forgets a bad deed has a very great tendency to forget a good deed done to him.It will take a man with amnessia to forget anything done to him.If u want to remember the old strategy to conquer new battle, then u mustnt forget anything.
I av forgiven my girl friend times without number, but everything she did to me is stl lingering in my brain.

In my opinion, the term forgive and forget does not mean forgive and have amnesia.

I think it means hey look, am human and i just messed up. Can you please not hold it against me and drop the issue and leave it alone? I promise never to do it again or at least I'll really try.

Understanding forgiveness is just like understanding Love. Its more of a state of mind rather than just feelings. Love like God and forgive like God. You must remember though, that wisdom is profitable to direct. Learn from lessons and don't be a fool, i.e. Forgive those who truly need forgiving and leave hurtful memories where they belong, In the past!

Speakin from a spiritual point of view, sometimes only God can truly heal deep hurts and pains. Look up to him.

@ Topic.

That's too long. kinda lazy withstories! try to make a shorter version.

* Yawning*

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forgiving, you just might try and succeed.
but forgetting, wake up to reality. like said above easy said than done. once a deed is done its done. it can never be erased.