in other words you pour sand sand in another man's garri and your name is enemy of progress

greggng:



Congratulations for bringing asunder to what God has brought together . The annoying part is that some naive people will give you like as if u achieved something good. . Your advice was not properly explained to your brother ....that was why he took it to the extreme. ....he should 've man up and do according to his financial capability instead of calling it off totally ...there is a difference btw making use of what you 've and not doing at all. Better pray nobody blames you for the failure of that marriage if they end up not marrying

I understand everybody has a different opinion to issues, but this particular opinion is useless I'm sorry to say this

Gbam? Nairalander should locate this guy and gave him ambassador for an advise, ur bro too played wise game.

she wan bring people to handle the food and stuffs.

in the end, her family and their guests will have access to all the foods and drinks while your own guests will be battling with bottle water and toothpick alone.

God save you o

mrgbenga1:
When has a marriage become a poverty alleviation programme

Since the days of Adam....

Especially poor homes with bigger entitlement mentality...

I Have said it times and time, I no go spend millions to entertain people at that stage, it's a small private stuff....That millons will go into getting her a clean ride or setting up a business for her..

Them no deh give medal for most elaborate wedding.

greggng:



Congratulations for bringing asunder to what God has brought together . The annoying part is that some naive people will give you like as if u achieved something good. . Your advice was not properly explained to your brother ....that was why he took it to the extreme. ....he should 've man up and do according to his financial capability instead of calling it off totally ...there is a difference btw making use of what you 've and not doing at all. Better pray nobody blames you for the failure of that marriage if they end up not marrying

This message is as irresponsible as the person that typed it...
The guy saw a red flag and quickly eloped....for me, the guy is so sincere....he could have done as you wanted him to do by playing along and later show his insincerity as you have opined but the guy acted in the sincerity of heart by bowing out of "an entitlement" relationship ....
Let her go and marry herself...for the guy, there are so many fishes in the ocean...i will advise him to throw his net for another catch....there are a lot of. selfless and conscientize ladies in the country he shouldn't bottle himself up with a liability lady and family

Nne stop discriminating against us wey only take 1 yoruba class for sec school.

Biko translate.

bukatyne:


Iyawo buruku se fe, ana buruku o se ni.

Oracleforce:



This was exactly.my story with my ex-girlfriend....
They told me how they want the marriage to be but they refuse to contribute anything...when I try to calculate all those expenses I have to incur before I can marry this lady it is close to 4million..not that I don't have the 4mollion but for the fact that nothing is coming from their family to support or contribute to the wedding program....nobody advised me before I opted out of the scam relationship....
Now., the lady is regretting her life for not marrying me....and she is growing older day-to-day....she will be 42 this year...
Some families are too self-centered for my liking

Family from the pit of hell.

ubola:
You are toxic. For inflicting pains on someone else's daughter may your generation receive a double portion. You had the chance of advising your indecisive brother to reduce the cost but you went ahead to poison his effeminate mind. Karma is surely waiting for you.

....so obvious that you are too emotional but emotional. doesn't bring food to the table...
Even the Bible says if the foundation is destroyed what can the righteous do?
The foundation of extortion and exploitation is neither a good foundation nor a reliable platform...
What do you think we happen if this guy eventually marries this entitlement family? He will be carrying more loads more than he can bear and /or frustrate his life to death....
There are so. much untimely death in marriage...this is because one party is bearing more loads than he can actually carry...

Let me.pause.....

bukatyne:


Iyawo buruku se fe, ana buruku o se ni.

Please where is your DM? I want to slide into it

Congrats! I hereby dubb you the grand defender of elder brothers from entitled family members.

100trillion:
My senior bro wedding was schedule for the 30th day of October 2021, his wife and her fams were on his heads, telling him to make sure the wedding is the talk of the town, that, he should rent a big hall and make sure food; drinks; meats; kola etc. are available.

So last night he told me, I asked if his wife contributed anything, he said "Monetary" No....that she said she'll bring ppl to cook food and handle things women are meant to handle.

I told my him: Snr bro, make marriage simple. Don't take loans for wedding, don't use all your savings on wedding just to please people. People come to eat, drink and leave you in povery. Manage what you have. If your wife can't help you to think straight, then she ain't wife worthy.
This afternoon, in my presence he called his in-laws and called off the wedding....thank God he has not complete the dowry.

Hope I was right?

Correct

M

naijadrivablog:


You are immature, so is your brother.

Why not talk things out with the in-laws Your brother can tell them what he can afford and if they want a society wedding, they should contribute to foot the bills.

Your brother is not ready yet.

The guy saw a red flag from the lady family and you him to talk it over, talking it over is just like the union of Fulani people and other ethnic groups in the country....it will always end in tears

BRATISLAVA:
Another woman bashing thread.

How much are you people paid to create these stories? Do you really think women don't have terrible stories to tell about men on a daily basis? The technique is old.

y can't u ladies take simple criticism? U see everything as an attack on ur gender its not fair, many of us here have sisters, mothers, girlfriends and wives we love and respect. If we talk its because we care abt u guys....if I tell u wetin my own senior broda girlfriend don do eh, the kind trouble wey she dey put for family u go shock...

ogub:
Calling off the wedding shouldn't have been the first thing to do he could have met with his prospective in-laws and tell them what he can afford to spend for the wedding and hear what they have to say

what he did was right, now the in-laws will come to know his reasons

there are two thing here. it's either the girl is the first daughter or your are getting married from igbo family. this are one of the ways to test the financial capacity for their expected inlaw.

one of the reasons I hate africa tradition.

100trillion:
My senior bro wedding was schedule for the 30th day of October 2021, his wife and her fams were on his heads, telling him to make sure the wedding is the talk of the town, that, he should rent a big hall and make sure food; drinks; meats; kola etc. are available.

So last night he told me, I asked if his wife contributed anything, he said "Monetary" No....that she said she'll bring ppl to cook food and handle things women are meant to handle.

I told my him: Snr bro, make marriage simple. Don't take loans for wedding, don't use all your savings on wedding just to please people. People come to eat, drink and leave you in povery. Manage what you have. If your wife can't help you to think straight, then she ain't wife worthy.
This afternoon, in my presence he called his in-laws and called off the wedding....thank God he has not complete the dowry.

Hope I was right?

You are wrong. Your brother will now spend more on the wedding in the nearest future. You should have told him to bargain with the inlaw to be in cutting the cost. I m sure they ll be reasonable with him

ogub:
Calling off the wedding shouldn't have been the first thing to do he could have met with his prospective in-laws and tell them what he can afford to spend for the wedding and hear what they have to say

bro I would call of the wedding, too without this your line.

Do they need someone to tell especially the bride to be, not to reason with her head? so I have to impress people and show them I have arrived when in the a sense my income is little and she is not contributing to the 'talk of the town wedding'

this is why marriages suffer in the first 2yrs. because some people are still paying loan collected during wedding and nothing left for the house

It's mostly girls from very poor family background that always want talk of the town wedding to announce their exit from generational poverty




When a rich family want an elaborate wedding for their daughter, they make sure they equip their daughter well enough to attract and catch well to do men who will be glad spending on the wedding day knowing fully well that they have clinched a chick with super package worth spending on.

mariahAngel:


Why you no add this part to the op?

Because he is making up the story as he goes.
That info he left out is very crucial to make sense of the story but he didn't include it initially because the story ain't real

Abeg I can't find my car key since last nyt o. Who help me see am?

Another reason why I like Offpoint and donpata...

No go dey do pass yourself o

SeriouslySense:
Just make wedding simple, you don't need so much expense if you don't want to spend so much, you don't need to impress people with food and drinks, just make it simple. For me i hate burials, especially, no need for food and drinks, in burial, celebrate people, when they are alive and living, not when they are dead, Show love to those who are alive.

As for weddings, spend according to your discretion, food and drinks are not important for me, make sure, you have examined the costs of setting up the home, and things like solar panel for electricity, and examine other costs in the home, to make the home comfortable for your Wife etc. Also how to make your family independent with perhaps a business too.

I like your POV

He made it talk of the town alright....he called it off , now the town have something to talk about... he was really listening ...lol

Blakpot:


And so?
Does that make it ok to abuse them?

Anyway tnx for ur honesty.
At least one can narrow down to the source of ur hatred; frustration aggression.
No money/little money= No woman= Unhappiness= Hatred for women.

Also fail to factor in the period we live in and cultural influences.

1)We live in 21st century an era of hyper consumption.

2)Materialism is common in western cultures, of which we are heavily influenced by.

Moreover u can't paint every woman with the same brush u paint Instagram slay queen with, its unfair.

You are absolutely right.

100trillion:
Mbaise, Imo State.

That 300k covered for palm wine, beer nd kola o..

The fact that you know that some part of Mbaise people have a long list when dowry is involved, does not mean you will be telling us this... We know that you were lying but there's nothing we can do about it.. just continue..

Filmdirect:


I believe we are looking at the result of rampant promiscuity. It goes like this: the first time someone uses someone sexually they feel a hint of guilt and shame. They push it off because their body and mind is weak and their craving is beyond their self control. They don't like what they have become and begin to despise the object of their desires.

With that any narrative to confirm their internal bias/self hate is latched on. To feel good they tell themselves it's all the woman's fault. They are hoes, money grabbers, selfish, greedy. The more they beat on the female gender the more they look noble, selfless, perfect. It never occurs to them that they are hoes along with the women, for sex takes two.

If there is greed, they feed it. In fact many of them will not choose a girl who doesn't wear expensive wigs, designer bags and clothes, or have salon fashioned nails. Why? Because the contrary does not look good in public or feed their ego amongst their peers. They don't see themselves as selfish, even after many of them though wishing for a woman who is perfect have in their lives cheated on a good woman.

Yes, it's very toxic the way men on this site bash women and i've noticed its getting worse. Well, let them continue to create monsters out of other men who listen to them. Their daughters are going to be part of the society they create.

You've said it all.

All the loathing they reserve for women is a reflection of themselves.

I only pity them when the fire they have created begins to burn closer to the bushes around their homes.

There is a misogynist/gay mod on seat.

haaryobhami:


cause that's what u vagina people are

Do you really want women to begin chronicles and abuses on you penis people?

trailblazar:

Your logic is very similar to what money can not solve, more money will solve it. Faulty

Oh really?
You came to this conclusion out of that short sentence because why? You're in my head?

Oh! OK! How about this then....
"Your brother never see the woman wey him wan marry" because in reality, people don't just call off a wedding from one moment to the next simply because...

Guy, you wan tell me say if you get woman wey you dey head over heels in love with, you'd call off your wedding to her just like that because "the expenses are too much?"
Does that story even make any sense?

Gmajor:


Because he is making up the story as he goes.
That info he left out is very crucial to make sense of the story but he didn't include it initially because the story ain't real

Exactly! Your head dey there!

100trillion:

because I was typing in a haste and I use a feature phone!

Lies!

Nobody leaves out such a crucial part that helps a story make sense.

100trillion:
He told them. But they said if he ain't get no money, that he should not bother taking their daughter home....

Yet i'm sure she and her family are languishing in poverty.