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8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend - Romance (10) - Nairaland

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Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by farem: 10:03pm On Mar 03, 2021
donbachi:
After all the abortions.

...and countless dicking.
Nonsense-- they will be saying we are in relationship when all they mean is dicking.

Who wan buy cow � when the milk is free?

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Realhommie(m): 10:04pm On Mar 03, 2021
Nusaibart:
Most nigerian guys are as useless as this your yeye boyfriend avoid them like plague
How dare you say the guy is useless? Do you think to marry is a piece of cake? Are you sure you even know what marriage entails?

That dude is being real and very pragmatic. Do you know how the quality of his life and that of his immediate family will be greatly affected negatively should he go on to marry with that his 60k salary? All you guys just think of is marry, marry and marriage. How it's going to work isn't your concern because your only concern is the now.

2 things, either the lady exercises more patience or she walks. Q.E.D

2 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by tallerSSS: 10:07pm On Mar 03, 2021
Zzor:
You really don't know me,I don't joke around as regards the issue of men,I can't tolerate men in that age group and their problems, the older the better,most young men don't trip me,they mostly don't have anything to offer, I cherish my comfort and happiness a lot and I know who and where I can get that.
A_SH
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by galantjoe(m): 10:08pm On Mar 03, 2021
Am ready
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by PrimadonnaO(f): 10:09pm On Mar 03, 2021
UyaiIncomparabl:
A long-term relationship isn't always advisable. If after a year, you both or one of you aren't sure of taking the relationship to the next level, then you should quit. Date only when you are ready to settle down. Things like this breed ground for long term fornication, abortions even, too much familiarity and then after so many years when the spark has fizzled out completely, one of you will think it's fit to tell the other it's quits. Very unfair.

When you date a man in this situation, and you ask him about marriage and you see that he isn't forthcoming, please, don't be afraid to keep options, at least to be on the safer side if things go north. I will bet my life on this that if today you leave that guy, he will settle down with another woman by next year. He has seen too much of you. 8 years is too long a time to date someone. I doubt if he still has feelings for you. He may even be seeing you as a sister now. It's pathetic.

Date ONLY when you are ready for marriage, please and find someone who's as well ready for marriage. I know men can say one thing and mean another thing some times but you can always tell what they want from you if you are discerning. Your instincts can never lie. And talk to him about this. If he's not yielding or doesn't still see why he should propose to you, please feel free to leave him. I don't know how old you are, but you are a woman and your time is limited. Don't waste it on an indecisive and irresponsible man. Be assertive on this. I wish you the best of luck.

Sense overdose! kiss

3 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by oloshun(m): 10:09pm On Mar 03, 2021
donbachi:
After all the abortions.

You should know it is not everything that needs baby's comments. If you are not a baby, you think like one. Man up.

2 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by UjuJoan2: 10:10pm On Mar 03, 2021
authority2006:


Supporting or giving money to your husband shouldn't mean that you should not give him the respect he deserves now. This why many men couldn't entertain women assisting them financially

Oh it’s easy to respect a man in a marriage. What’s difficult is keeping up with the God complex most Nigerian men have.

I don’t mind oh, but you need to match that with taking full financial responsibility.

2 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by holyshadow: 10:11pm On Mar 03, 2021
well, truth is, u av endured longer than necessary. 8yrs of dating one guy while some marrages don't even last for 2yrs nowadays! answer the questions below to help you take your decision; # does ur religion condole such a long period of courtship? # is ur menopause clock reversible? # are there marriages dat started on a much lower financial base yet succeeding and happier? so long.

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by PoliteActivist: 10:12pm On Mar 03, 2021
Ronin1:


Right, and we all know love to be blind and foolish, the mofo. Love doesn't put food on your table. "Have kids when you can afford them", really? And you're saying this to someone that wants to get married because it's getting late... yeah right!

Love doesn't put food on the table when you are single too. As for kids, poor, illiterate people have kids all the time. It is only ideal that you have money, not a must

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by UjuJoan2: 10:12pm On Mar 03, 2021
frank950:


So your only definition of gaining respect in Marriage is the man solely providing financially in the family.

And the woman, being available at anytime to render sexual services. (let's not delve into the mutual enjoyment of this conjugal duty).

Like, you don't think there is more to marriage than these.....

I never said that money was in exchange for sex. Both man and wife enjoy sex so that’s not the issue.

But the roles are clear. The man provides, the woman tends to the children and keeps the home.

Will you wash plate? Wash the toilet? Bathe and feed the children?

Most Nigerian men consider these duties degrading and insulting. And yet they expect the woman to do all this and still provide financially. It doesn’t seem fair now does it?

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by shadeyinka(m): 10:14pm On Mar 03, 2021
PoliteActivist:


The relationship is undefined, meaning nothing prevents her from exploring and being open to other opportunities
It doesn't work that way!
A romantic relationship demands faithfulness and commitment. This tie down the lady with the man.

Secondly, ladies are wired to expect something serious coming out of a relationship. Men are wired to look for loopholes to escape being tied down by a relationship

3 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by dapadawee: 10:18pm On Mar 03, 2021
abigail11:
I have been dating this guy for 8 years now. My relationship with him started since my university school days.

Ever since we graduated and started working, I have been expecting him to propose to me, which he didn't.

When I confronted him, he said he needs a tangible source of income first before he will marry me.

His current salary is 60k, yet he doesn't want us to go into marriage now.

I personal told him that we can manage what we have and plan our life together since I'm also working. But he said no, his reason is that he doesn't want us to suffer.

My problem is this:
1. Time is not on my side
2. He want to make millions before he can marry me, what if it takes more years to do that?
3. I'm ready and he is not ready.
Please I need advise. I don't know what to do.
Na 20 years warranty no be even guarantee.
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by authority2006(m): 10:20pm On Mar 03, 2021
frank950:

� �
Then your partner is lucky to have you.
Thanks.
We got married 10 years ago with combined income that was even ridiculous to mention. She was afraid just like the man in the case of @Op but I knew delaying wasn't the best option but what were we going to do about our shiity income.

2 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by juman(m): 10:21pm On Mar 03, 2021
Move on.
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Hassanmaye(m): 10:24pm On Mar 03, 2021
zudozz:
Becos he already knows u are senseless...

1-2-3-4-5-6-...years.. Everyday u keep toto for am he dey Bleep.. He know say u no get sense.
Haha wickedness grin

1 Like 1 Share

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by zudozz: 10:36pm On Mar 03, 2021
Hassanmaye:

Haha wickedness grin


But its true nau. Next thing now u hear her saying ''men are scum''! Meanwhile na u no gree use d sense wey God give u.

How can a man that wants to spend d rest of his life with u be sleeping with u outside wedlock for 5 years?! shocked

If a man wants to marry u 6 months of relationship or courtship is enough. If he does nt have money or he is struggling 2 years is enough for d both of u to put things together and start from somewhere even if its one room.

But 6 years? everyday u comot ur cloth one man go dey climb ontop of u... my dear u no get sense!

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by KIDfurniture(m): 10:37pm On Mar 03, 2021
Na them... she knows bf's salary already.. he wants the poor boy to suffer more.. marriage ko .. union ni.. go and work and make money young girl... how much is your salary ?




[/quote][quote author=abigail11 post=99568563]I have been dating this guy for 8 years now. My relationship with him started since my university school days.

Ever since we graduated and started working, I have been expecting him to propose to me, which he didn't.

When I confronted him, he said he needs a tangible source of income first before he will marry me.

His current salary is 60k, yet he doesn't want us to go into marriage now.

I personal told him that we can manage what we have and plan our life together since I'm also working. But he said no, his reason is that he doesn't want us to suffer.

My problem is this:
1. Time is not on my side
2. He want to make millions before he can marry me, what if it takes more years to do that?
3. I'm ready and he is not ready.
Please I need advise. I don't know what to do.

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by emmyniftyyem: 10:38pm On Mar 03, 2021
He may not have any reason to marry you especially if you are already carrying out wifely duties. He will just think to himself, 'why shackle myself with marriage when I can get all it gives without all the drama?'

2 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by bigpicture001: 10:38pm On Mar 03, 2021
abigail11:
I have been dating this guy for 8 years now. My relationship with him started since my university school days.

Ever since we graduated and started working, I have been expecting him to propose to me, which he didn't.

When I confronted him, he said he needs a tangible source of income first before he will marry me.

His current salary is 60k, yet he doesn't want us to go into marriage now.

I personal told him that we can manage what we have and plan our life together since I'm also working. But he said no, his reason is that he doesn't want us to suffer.

My problem is this:
1. Time is not on my side
2. He want to make millions before he can marry me, what if it takes more years to do that?
3. I'm ready and he is not ready.
Please I need advise. I don't know what to do.

Me am begging my babe to allow us get to it..but sh no gree ooo....babe say I never reach levels sh dreams of...God dey!

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by purples25(f): 10:39pm On Mar 03, 2021
frank950:


"it's cheat code for guys"

are you insinuating that all women offer in relationship is "allowing themselves to be eaten....."

Like after the marriage, the only thing that can be rendered by the woman license to be eaten since due payment has been made.

the standard is so low in this part of the world.

Smh.

Of course there are other things to be gained in marriage. But this thing here is a problem.

Fertility, youth, purity, beauty.

No matter what any man says, these are the things they truly want from a woman. Yes, she can work, but a man would rather choose an almost untouched beauty without a job than a capable older, modern , experienced woman.

Therefore these relationships without closure/marriage lead to the degradation of the woman. A woman after eight years can say she wants to marry but by that time the men will be saying she is old, she must have been used, etc. Most men will avoid her and that's just the truth. As a woman gets older, no matter her wealth and degree, her options to marry get smaller. So yes, it matters for the woman that she gets some gain from whatever sexual stuff she engages in. It is important to her because that is one of the things men value in a woman. Clearly you can see she is at a loss if she gives it all for nothing, when that is part of her relished attributes. A woman giving her body is giving a very precious thing she is rated by so she loses if she gives it in charity. A man will not be rated by his body and you know this.

Knowing this fully well, men still explore the expensive and precious youth of a woman, which they know, if not for the lapse modernity has given them, they can't have that for free. Even then they will pay for this when wanting to actually SECURE a woman with such attributes as youth, fertility, purity, and beauty into their household. So what are they doing with these young women that they have all their pearls for free? Let me be plain. They are eating a very expensive meal for free. They are eating what a potential suitor would have paid for OR valued the woman dearly for.....for free.

If it was about clever and independent career women, why is this time in history the one that records the most of single women, hmm? Men are getting more and more repelled by the independent and career women. I watch videos every day where even the western men diss their women for not being sexually pure and too old. So this sex of a thing is really important for women and relationships scam her of the sexual value that she would need to get a life partner.

She loses her purity for nothing. And at the end of the day, this is one of the most inportant things you guys care for. Don't pretend that it is not.

5 Likes

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Thereishel: 10:40pm On Mar 03, 2021
abigail11:
I have been dating this guy for 8 years now. My relationship with him started since my university school days.

Ever since we graduated and started working, I have been expecting him to propose to me, which he didn't.

When I confronted him, he said he needs a tangible source of income first before he will marry me.

His current salary is 60k, yet he doesn't want us to go into marriage now.

I personal told him that we can manage what we have and plan our life together since I'm also working. But he said no, his reason is that he doesn't want us to suffer.

My problem is this:
1. Time is not on my side
2. He want to make millions before he can marry me, what if it takes more years to do that?
3. I'm ready and he is not ready.
Please I need advise. I don't know what to do.

Open your heart for other man he would not marry you. Someone that has been having sex with you for 8 years what do you expect?

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Hassanmaye(m): 10:42pm On Mar 03, 2021
zudozz:



But its true nau. Next thing now u hear her saying ''men are scum''! Meanwhile na u no gree use d sense wey God give u.

How can a man who wants to spend d rest of his life with u be sleeping with u outside wedlock for 5 years?! shocked

If a man wants to marry u 6 months of relationship or courtship is enough. If he does nt have money or he is struggling 2 years is enough for d both of u to put things together and start from somewhere even its one room.

But 6 years? everyday u comot ur cloth one man go dey climb ontop of u... my dear u no get sense!
Is true some of this women are stupid and mad I swear!! I get one I love so much during my university days she was foaming jonzbon and following bad boys up and down, she didn't have time for me, I was struggling she doesn't care, now I'm stable, she is yet to get married and in her madness she think I will pity her, time is not on her side. Hmmm

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Kirkman: 10:48pm On Mar 03, 2021
Mcslize:


I really wish the girl I am dating right now will break up with me. I don't know where the relationship is heading.

And she has been reminding me she doesn't want to experience another heart break. I don't know what she meant by that. Hope she is not thinking I am her final bus stop?
Bros how you want take do am now? It's not gonna be easy for your girl cos getting a serious good guy nowadays is hard, where will she start from and with whom?
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Chummynoni(m): 10:49pm On Mar 03, 2021
authority2006:


He and his fiancée needs to sit and discuss about how to boost their income. For how long are they going to postpone the marriage? 8 years already after graduation.
They could pull their little resources (savings) together and let either the man or the woman go into buying and selling while the other one continues with the salary work. The one with salary work can assist after closing hour.
I got married with far less amount as salary but I quickly realised that I needed to change my orientation concerning work and income. I'm not there yet but the decision paid off.
Informative! U made sense
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by zubimete(f): 10:49pm On Mar 03, 2021
abigail11:
I have been dating this guy for 8 years now. My relationship with him started since my university school days.

Ever since we graduated and started working, I have been expecting him to propose to me, which he didn't.

When I confronted him, he said he needs a tangible source of income first before he will marry me.

His current salary is 60k, yet he doesn't want us to go into marriage now.

I personal told him that we can manage what we have and plan our life together since I'm also working. But he said no, his reason is that he doesn't want us to suffer.

My problem is this:
1. Time is not on my side

Please I need advise. I don't know what to do.
Oh dear! you are in the wrong lane. Nairalanders dnt care nor value 'f` gender. Go to facebook & join singles nd married groups like women in nigeria & diaspara, extraordinary moms, once a mum always a mum etc. You will be glad sharing ur story nd nt to be confused. Best wishes

1 Like 1 Share

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by LINTUNE(m): 10:57pm On Mar 03, 2021
Zzor:
Hope I didn't break your heart lol
u know how to find trouble, u are something else, smh..

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by ogbonti: 11:11pm On Mar 03, 2021
IKennaGabriel:
Can't you wait for him to be ready too?Can't you wait for him to be ready too?

are u alright ?
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Cleanworld(f): 11:11pm On Mar 03, 2021
abigail11:
I have been dating this guy for 8 years now. My relationship with him started since my university school days.

Ever since we graduated and started working, I have been expecting him to propose to me, which he didn't.

When I confronted him, he said he needs a tangible source of income first before he will marry me.

His current salary is 60k, yet he doesn't want us to go into marriage now.

I personal told him that we can manage what we have and plan our life together since I'm also working. But he said no, his reason is that he doesn't want us to suffer.

My problem is this:
1. Time is not on my side
2. He want to make millions before he can marry me, what if it takes more years to do that?
3. I'm ready and he is not ready.
Please I need advise. I don't know what to do.

8yrs Sis? your first child will have being in Jss 1 now. please call it off now, he will look for you and go and pay dowry if he's truelly the one. His salary is just an excuse because both of you can work together and make something out of your lives.

The more his commmitted in his responbilities as a husband the more he will find a way to earn more than a meagre.

My2cent

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Goldiness: 11:12pm On Mar 03, 2021
abigail11:
I have been dating this guy for 8 years now. My relationship with him started since my university school days.

Ever since we graduated and started working, I have been expecting him to propose to me, which he didn't.

When I confronted him, he said he needs a tangible source of income first before he will marry me.

His current salary is 60k, yet he doesn't want us to go into marriage now.

I personal told him that we can manage what we have and plan our life together since I'm also working. But he said no, his reason is that he doesn't want us to suffer.

My problem is this:
1. Time is not on my side
2. He want to make millions before he can marry me, what if it takes more years to do that?
3. I'm ready and he is not ready.
Please I need advise. I don't know what to do.


Leave the guy he is not serious with you. You know in your mind that the relationship will not work, forget him and move on, pray to God to give you your own man.

1 Like

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by midehill(m): 11:19pm On Mar 03, 2021
Zzor:
Sweetheart I'm on his side on this,its always wise for a lady never to date a man in her age group, a man must be stable financially before thinking marriage and he already made you understand that,the only mistake you made is dating him.Since he's not ready please look for someone who's ready and settle down with him,never let your emotions direct your thinking in marriage issues.Please let him go so as not to waste more time as you already have. Follow this tips:Cut off from a relationship that has no head way after six months to avoid stories that touch.As for me I already resolve never to date a man below 50yrs because most Nigerian men below 50 are still struggling.Such a messed up country

You started well but ended It foolishly
Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Acidosis(m): 11:33pm On Mar 03, 2021
Please make sure you marry that man. Don't go and settle down with a new man you've known for only 4 or 6 months. Many of you (ladies) do this a lot and it ALWAYS end up in tears, love-less marriage, divorce, or DNA wahala.. ,You won't ever get over that man so why on earth would you want to leave him now after 8 years of sex? Omo shocked Even married people most times no do this thing reach una..lol

Please don't punish an innocent man because of your wasted years sha. And stop addressing yourself as a single lady. No you're not. You're an illegally married spiritual wife. You can't be single after 8 years.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: 8 Years Of Relationship And Not Even A Proposal From My Boyfriend by Saig: 11:34pm On Mar 03, 2021
EkelediliBuhari:
Marriage is not all life is about

Focus on building yourself first... have a personal vision and drive... if you find another person along the way you move on
If he happens to be ready then you marry

But don’t marry him because he’s available and you’re “running out of time”.... who gave you time table??

Focus on your personal life and all will fall in place

There's is more to life than just building. people have different things that make them happy. if marriage is one of them, so be it. Why tell people to keep building when they truly desire a friend and companion? Keep building without happiness, for what??

3 Likes

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