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Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) - Romance - Nairaland

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Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 5:44pm On Mar 05
I will be updating this thread on how to be charming and cunning. These facts are to be implemented in your relationship with people, on how to gain someone's favor and how to become powerful.

If you haven't seen Phase 1 yet on "Machiavellian Tactics", I highly recommend you see that first (but you can start with this too though).
https://www.nairaland.com/6425951/phase-1-machiavellian-tactics-life#99274149

Anyways we move! wink

These facts are not for the faint-hearted.

IMPORTANT: Do not talk about the tactics with people, they will view you as a monster. Just practice it. The game is to be sold, not to be told. If you practice cunning you will succeed, if you talk about cunning you will fail. Use manipulative tactics to charm and persuade people, but never talk about the tactics you use.

NB: I'm not the sole author of these posts.

without further ado, let's get started cool

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 6:00pm On Mar 05
"First - Know What You Want"

Consciously calculating what it is you want from someone, what the purpose of your relationship with them is, makes it immensely easier to know how to interact with them and what precise words to say.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 6:01pm On Mar 05
Power Imbalances:

In most relationships, the power dynamic is governed by dependency; whichever party needs the other less is the party that wields power.

If you need them more than they need you, they wield power over you. If they need you more than you need them, you wield power over them. If you both need each other intensely, or you both have little or no need for each other, your power levels are equal.

The power dynamic being governed by dependency is true of almost all types of relationships; business, romantic, even friendship. Do what you can to minimize the degree to which you are dependent on others, and maximize the degree to which they are dependent on you.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 6:03pm On Mar 05
Financial Dependency:

Financial dependency (one party needing another for money or other financial resources) keeps together far more relationships than anyone would care to admit.

Most employees hate their employers, but continue to associate with them because they need their wages in order to survive.

Many women throughout history have despised their husbands, but continued their marriages because they were economically dependent on their husbands (in America from 1970 – 2020, this has no longer been the case since the legal system has allowed women to divorce their husbands and continue extracting money from them via alimony and child support).

Financial dependency keeps many parent-child relationships together; it seems to be the case that children who have plenty of money are far more likely to become estranged from their parents than children who are poor, because financial necessity does not compel them to continue association.

Perhaps the most bitter pill is this; the game of power never stops, and indeed there are power struggles even between those who love each other.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 6:04pm On Mar 05
Loyalty:

“…besides your closest friends and loved one’s, it’s every man for himself in this world.” -Felix Dennis

Most contacts have zero loyalty to you; if they calculate that the benefits you deliver to them is less than the cost you impose upon them, they will abandon you without hesitation. They care about their own interests, not your well being.

The number of people who will stay loyal to you and continue helping you even when they have nothing to potentially gain from doing so is less than 5; if you were to carry out suicide tomorrow, there are less than 5 people on the planet who would actually care.

Be good to these people; they are worth more than any worldly wealth you might ever gain. There are many things money can buy, but real loyalty is not one of them.

You might think the only way to find out who is truly loyal to you is to experience catastrophe and see who continues to stand by you, but you would be wrong.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 6:12pm On Mar 05
Loyalty Testing, Simulate Your Downfall:

“Simulate your downfall to see who folds and sells you out. Loyalty is gauged in the face of failure, not success.” -IM

It is often possible to simulate your downfall; make it look like everything is falling apart, when in reality everything is perfectly fine. Do this, see who stays loyal, and who abandons you.

The appearance of catastrophe has to last for at least a few months. With most of the mercenaries surrounding you, it is unlikely that they will abandon you the day after your downfall comes; for most it will take at least a few weeks.

If a person stays loyal even after 3 months of you appearing to have been destroyed, you can safely assume their loyalty is real.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 6:14pm On Mar 05
This may sound like a drastic and unnecessary exercise in deception in return for nothing. In reality, it is a deception that serves a critical purpose; finding out who the real loyalists are.

You cannot build an empire on the backs of mercenaries. History is filled with kings who were destroyed by their closest allies abandoning or outright backstabbing them.

Betrayal from your allies is far more dangerous than any attack from an enemy. In the case of backstabbing, the closer someone is to you the easier it will be for them to destroy you since they are more familiar with your vulnerabilities than anyone else. In the case of abandonment, the closer someone is to you the more you depend on them, and so it is all the more damage that their disappearance will cause.

There is one limiting factor; the downfall you simulate must be easily reversible, so that you can make everything appear normal (good) after you are done with the simulation.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by Mide3367: 6:45pm On Mar 05
Following..

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by BadRadio: 6:50pm On Mar 05
where the fvck is phase 1?

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 6:53pm On Mar 05
Principles of Charm

Looks, Halo Effect:
Good looking people are considered to be more likeable and more trustworthy than ugly people. Most people are heavily influenced by outward appearances.

Not everyone is blessed with the genetics to be beautiful, but we can all put effort into optimizing our physical appearance.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 6:55pm On Mar 05
Pretense, You Like Them:

“If you dislike a man, do your best to hide it, for in ways you could not possibly foresee you may need his help, and you can hardly get it if he knows you dislike him. On many occasions I needed the help of a man who I despised, and he believing I liked him, or at least being unaware of the truth, served me readily.” -Francesco Guicciardini

In order to charm people, you must maintain the pretense that you like them. Any dislike or disdain you have for them must be concealed.

This sounds obvious, yet many subordinates fail to do this when interacting with their superiors.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 6:57pm On Mar 05
Speaking Style, Mirror Them:

Mirror the word choice and sentence structure of the person you are trying to charm. Mirror their vocal tonality, and the speed or slowness with which they talk.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 6:58pm On Mar 05
Complements:
“The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.” -Jean Giraudoux


Complementing people is a good way of charming them, however do be careful with this. Complements that are direct and overt tend to be seen as disingenuous; a shallow manipulative tactic, which indeed they are.

Complements that are subtle and delivered indirectly are perceived as genuine (even if they are just a manipulative tactic).

If you seem calm when you deliver a complement, it seems genuine, whereas if you seem nervous or needy when you deliver a complement, it makes you seem fake. People love their children and their pets; complement their children or their pets, and they will like you.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 7:03pm On Mar 05
Making Conversation, Minimize Your Talking:

The less you talk the better. Let the other person do a majority of the talking; this boosts people’s ego and makes them fool good. For the sake of charm you want the high enthusiasm typical of extroversion, but the not talking a lot typical of introversion.


You should talk roughly 40% of the conversation; a significant minority. Most of your speech should be dedicated towards asking open ended questions that get the other person talking, and talking a little bit about yourself.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 7:05pm On Mar 05
At the beginning of the conversation you will probably have to do most of the talking to get the conversation going, but roughly 30-60 seconds in it is wise to shift towards asking the other person open ended questions to get them talking and have them do most of the talking for the rest of the conversation.

No matter what they say, maintain the pretense that you find what they are saying to be interesting even if in reality you think it is boring. Conversation does not have to last very long for you to charm someone; 60 – 120 seconds is plenty.

Be very careful with what you say. You must carefully calculate your words, and at the same time the person you’re talking to must perceive that you are NOT calculating your words; that you’re just saying what you actually think.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 7:07pm On Mar 05
Topics of Conversation:

For the sake of charming people, make conversation about topics that interest them, not topics that interest you. In general steer the conversation towards topics that are pleasant, rather than unpleasant; you want to be associated with positivity, not negativity.

If at any point the other person brings up something negative that has happened to them, appear to be sympathetic, not judgmental.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 7:12pm On Mar 05
Happy Lies, No Ugly Truths:

“No one is hated more than he who speaks the truth.” -Plato

If you tell a person something and it offends their sensibilities, they will hate you for it, even if what you are telling them is true. Telling people the truth is terrible for charm, since it is usually the case that the truth is ugly and unpleasant.

For the sake of charm, tell people what they want to hear; usually happy lies.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by Mide3367: 7:14pm On Mar 05
TheUndercover:
Complements:
“The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.” -Jean Giraudoux


Complementing people is a good way of charming them, however do be careful with this. Complements that are direct and overt tend to be seen as disingenuous; a shallow manipulative tactic, which indeed they are.

Complements that are subtle and delivered indirectly are perceived as genuine (even if they are just a manipulative tactic).

If you seem calm when you deliver a complement, it seems genuine, whereas if you seem nervous or needy when you deliver a complement, it makes you seem fake. People love their children and their pets; complement their children or their pets, and they will like you.
give example of such compliment

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 7:14pm On Mar 05
Advice, Appear Receptive:

Whenever someone gives you advice you must appear receptive to it, and grateful for it. If you overtly reject someone’s advice, they will feel insulted. This is most true when dealing with superiors. At the same time, most advice from most people is garbage; so while you outwardly must appear receptive and grateful, inwardly you should discard it.

Avoid doling out advice to others; unsolicited advice is usually perceived as an annoyance. Even if someone does ask you for advice, be hesitant to give any since if you give advice that offends their sensibilities they will dislike you.

That being said, whenever someone tells you about some difficulty they are having, do appear to be sympathetic.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 7:16pm On Mar 05
Remember Names:

If you forget someone’s name, they will feel insulted.

You must also remember the names of their family members, particularly their spouse and children. Whenever you see them, ask how specific family members are doing.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 7:26pm On Mar 05
Gossip Positively:

Perhaps the most surefire way to make someone like you is to talk about them positively when they aren’t in the room.

If someone finds out you have said positive things about them, it becomes easy for them to like you and almost impossible for them to dislike you.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 7:35pm On Mar 05
Some people are likeable because they’ve been humbled by life, are polite & have good self-restraint. But the majority, no, they are fake…likeability is a skill. It can be trained, because charm is a formulaic manipulation. If you know what to do and what not to, you will be liked…

The liked and favoured are held to laughably low standards, never criticised and quickly rewarded whilst the disliked and opposed are held to impossibly high standards, never accepted, nor given their due. A form of soft power, being likeable is a skill that puts you on easy mode.

When one is liked, a job mediocrely performed is seen as great, but when disliked, a job greatly performed is seen as mediocre. The capacity for human bias to render the individual one-dimensionally good or bad knows no bounds. If it sees you as good, your flaws are ignored and your strengths are amplified, but should it see you as bad, your flaws are highlighted as your strengths are dismissed.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 7:43pm On Mar 05
Now, lets digress a little and talk about some cunning tactics, shall we? wink

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 7:59pm On Mar 05
Never complain, particularly in front of others. People have their own problems to worry about; hearing about yours only annoys them.

Caveat: You can charm a person by complaining about the same thing they are complaining about. Hatebond with them; hate the same things, and the same people, who they hate.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 8:00pm On Mar 05
If during an ally’s darkest hour you refuse to help them, the worthlessness of your loyalty shall be remembered forever.

They will never trust you again, and they will most likely refuse to ever help you again. Indeed, they may be so enraged by your disloyalty that they actively plot revenge.

On the other hand if during an ally’s darkest hour you are there to help them, they will remember your loyalty forever and be very willing to help you in the future.

When your ally is in their darkest hour, you have a very important choice to make.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 8:01pm On Mar 05
When someone asks you for a favor you should do it if possible.

There is a very high probability that at some point in the future, in a way you could not possibly foresee, you will need a favor from them; if you refuse to help them during their hour of need, they will remember this, and refuse to help you during your hour of need.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 8:03pm On Mar 05
Hitler never killed anyone with his own hands. Words were his only weapons.

Words are the most dangerous weapon in the universe, because they determine who becomes the target of physical weapons.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 8:13pm On Mar 05
Women have high attack, but low defense.

They are good at manipulating others, but they themselves are easily manipulated

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 8:14pm On Mar 05
Insults should have zero impact on your psychological state.

Becoming angry when insulted is not a sign of strength; it’s a sign of weakness.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 8:19pm On Mar 05
Mide3367:
give example of such compliment
I understand your question, but I'm looking for the perfect words to clarify it.

If you compliment someone every single time, it will sound as if you're actually making fun of them, it won't sound genuine. Make your compliments rare and genuine. Making complement on little detail about someone goes a long way, for example you can say "I like your style, you're strong, you're a great listener", etcetera.

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 8:35pm On Mar 05
Beware of those who try to manipulate you into doing something by appealing to your ego. A man with an ego is easy to manipulate.

Simply imply he’s a ‘coward’ or ‘weakling’ or ‘not a real man’ for refusing to do something, and he’ll do it.

Whenever someone says “Real men do X”, what they mean is “I am trying to manipulate you into doing X, by appealing to your ego.”

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Re: Phase 2 - Charming And Cunning Tactics (Life Lessons You Must Know) by TheUndercover: 8:35pm On Mar 05
Never let your ego get in the way of doing what is tactically in your best interest.

Your ego doesn’t matter. Only outcomes do. Narcissists never realize this.

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