Only the MIL can say why she really wants to stay with her son.maybe, the mil just wants to be close to her son.
Believe me, marriage is not always rosy, one of the greatest things a woman should ask for is a MIL that supports her.in case hubby begins to act up, she can always run to her MIL..
Now that she has pushed her MIL away, i hope she is happy, and i hope she doesn't give birth to a son.

Every one knows how couples are finding it hard to keep a successful marriage in our world of today, the mother in-law should have handled things maturely and backed out as soon as she saw that her daughter in-law didn't want a third party in the marriage. She can be visiting/ spending some weeks, but living there permanently is not the best. Newly married couples should be allowed to live alone and build their marital homes. Your sister can however allow the woman to move in with them when the woman is getting old, and the house is built, a nanny can be employed to cater for the woman.

Your sister isn't wrong honestly. It's the husband I fear for. He already started compromising to accommodate your sister. I thought true love hides all flaws? How come your sister is still seeing her husband's flaws?


The scam in love.

Your sister is lucky the guy is a simp, let her park all her family I won't still budge...a woman that will leave you tomorrow if anything bad happens...taaa
She keeps forming stubborn and "I no send" yet she rented the apartment herself, who is fooling who

The dude i am sorry to say is very stupid

viceddy95:
Your sister will one day become a mother-in-law and she will reap the seed she sowed.....

I blame the guy for allowing a woman rubbish his mother by deciding if the woman is free to stay with them or not...

Even unmarried men move out of their mothers' homes, despite her insistence that he should stay.
They usually want their privacy. Some even move out of the same town as their mothers.
Why does this now sound abnormal to some people on here that the wife doesn't want to live with her mother in law?
Most men I know move out of their parents home as soon as they can afford to. Even women do the same, even though most parents would refuse to let their daughters go and live alone before getting married. Their sons usually insist and they get their way.
Why is this different though?
What does the son do for his mother that moving out will prevent him from doing? Is he her carer/nanny? Is she in a poor state of health, needing constant care that her son provides?

mariahAngel:
First of all, what is the situation with the mother in-law?
Apart from her son that married your sister, does she not have any other children?
What about her husband?

She's a single mom
She have a daughter,but she's married

cococandy:
Why does she want to live with them so badly?
Where is she staying now?

I dunno why,but she's currently staying in her house

Malawian:
Is your Sister's husband the MIL only son/Child? Honestly, I don't understand the MIL wanting to live with them. Unless she doesn't have any more children to keep her company, but also seeing that she is intransigent about living with them later, I'ld say, this story is not yet over.

She have a daughter,but she's married

Nuelito:
Your sis is on point jare

May I ask please...is your sister's father-in-law alive?

In addition to that...your sister's mother-in-law never talk wetin dey her mind

She's a single mom

OluwaLina1:

She's a single mom
She have a daughter,but she's married

That explains the situation then. Her biggest fear has happened.

Is she alone or does she have anyone staying with her?

your sister's husband is a compleate simp.

It seems to me most people did not read the previous thread.

The way I see it, your sister is giving her the "bad MIL treatment" without giving her the chance to actually be a bad MIL.

It's not necessarily the fact that she doesn't want to stay with the MIL that is the problem but the emotions behind that statement. I suppose his house is near completion that's why the idea of staying in a place rent-free for a while came up.

Ordinarily, I wouldn't support residing with one's parent in marriage but in this case it only came up for a reason. For whatever reason of course, one could always refuse still. But the manner you do so really matters. In this case, your sister said the relationship should end rather than stay a few months with his mum. She's essentially saying " the emotions I have against your mother is stronger than the emotions I have for you (the son)"

If someone said that to you, miss OP, how would that feel? Especially when you haven't done anything in the first instance. So you see why I said it's beyond "just living with MIL now" but the emotions behind it
I understand that the MIL/DIL dynamic in Nigeria (the world over sef) is quite a touchy one but the fact that your sister came with a mentality, fully arming her against her MIL when there wasn't even any war is her first major mistake.

In truth, j would not react any differently than her MIL has. You have proved to me that you don't want me therefore I don't want you too. Especially now that you have a mindset that "all MiL are terrible". That means the day I as much as say "don't do this" you will obviously tell the world that "see, this is why we don't want our MIL" and automatically make me the villain.

The second mistake she made is saying that "she can come and live with them when the house is complete". It's not really a mistake but shows your sister is quite cunny. The same reason why you can't stay with me now should apply to why I would not be able to stay with you. But your sister made that statement as if to appear good. As if to say "she gave your mother the chance to stay but she refused" fully knowing that after such rejection in the first instance anyone will refuse. Your sister is a gaslighting queen.

Now, your sister is saying she's not friendly. Even more gaslighting. Does she not know that you can't eat your cake and have it? You can't accommodate your MIL and you want her friendship? Do you not know you should be able to bear her insults to actually become friends with her?

Now that I have pointed out what she has done wrong, let me tell you what she could have done right.

She should have had the discussion solely with her husband. And if the MiL was already aware of the supposed moving. Then stay, even if it's just one month stay and make plans with your husband to rent a place the following month. You could say you enrolled to a program and you would have to move. You could say anything just so you do not leave the MIL feeling unwanted. No one in this world wants that feeling. And who knows, maybe in that one month you could have found a mother in her, a sister, a friend. Something that could give you leverage in your own marriage and your husband's family as a whole but no. You chose to work with the Patience-ozokwor-narrative you painted in your head.

Your siste's husband is a simp

Your sister's husband is C.R.A.Z.Y
U see ur sister gan gan is C.R.A.Z.I.E.R
If it was me ur sister jam and she came up with all of this,
Before we part ways, I go beat am ehnnn
Secondly, God's grace ur sister self go born sons
And exactly what she has done will be done to her
Like someone once said
Ur sister don see her husband finish

she should have walked away she will regret this for this rest of her life. there won't be cordial relationship with other family members. the husband will get fed up in the long run.

Draslo:
Your sister will likely birth sons and if she's lucky to be alive when they marry, she'll be paid back in her own coin, just maybe not the same circumstances. If na Dangote pikin she marry and the son wants his mother to live with them, I can bet she'll have absolutely no problems with it.

Why must she insist that they come and stay with her first? Like there's something behind it.

There's no karma here. MIL just being stubborn and adamant. She will relax soon.

crackhaus:
Your sister is the best woman in the world. Blessed is she amongst women.

Hmmm...i would have expected you to be against her. Isn't this crackhaus? Or you been hacked?

ImaIma1:


Why must she insist that they come and stay with her first? Like there's something behind it.

There's no karma here. MIL just being stubborn and adamant. She will relax soon.

There's nothing behind it. Go and rad the initial thread

viceddy95:
Your sister will one day become a mother-in-law and she will reap the seed she sowed.....

I blame the guy for allowing a woman rubbish his mother by deciding if the woman is free to stay with them or not...

What seed? By insisting they must stay with her? Where is that done? We must be able to decipher when a mother is being unreasonable and stubborn. Not every act of a mother is out of love. Some is out of selfishness. Know this and be free.

That's why some children are under the manipulation of their mother and are calling it love.

Draslo:

Mummy's boy

cococandy:
Why does she want to live with them so badly?
Where is she staying now?

She wanted the DIL under her so that she can still be controlling tins with her son. When the DIL is in her own house, mama cannot just come and call the shots

Draslo:

There's nothing behind it. Go and rad the initial thread

I followed the initial thread last year.

Imagine my MIL insisting that we must come and live in her house first after getting married, I would have cancelled the wedding too. In which culture is that done or what verse in the bible supports it?

I blame the guy for not having the wisdom to make sure his wife and mother understand each other. He too was leaning towards staying with mummy. I don't think he was ready for marriage.

ImaIma1:


Mummy's boy

You're being ridiculous. What's a sacrifice of living in your mother's house with your wife for a while when you're sure of a reward of a brand new house? You people have shallow thought processes. Are all MILs evil? Maybe their relationship will even get better for it.

I know living with folks is weird but if it's for good reason, then it's worth it.

Draslo:

You're being ridiculous. What's a sacrifice of living in your mother's house with your wife for a while when you're sure of a reward of a brand new house? You people have shallow thought processes. Are all MILs evil? Maybe their relationship will even get better for it.

I know living with folks is weird but if it's for good reason, then it's worth it.

This is not about MILs being evil. A newly wedded couple need their space to be able to bond well without interference. This kind of arrangement rarely ends well.

It breeds contempt, bitterness, hatred. When you fight, your mother is aware and is likely to take sides. You need to fight and settle on your own. Get to know each other on your own without someone hovering over.

God that said that a man shall leave his parents and cleave to his wife is not foolish. Is the promise of a new house tied to living with her first? Why?

Marriage is hard enough, to now have to stay in another person's house straight after tying the knot is not advisable. To you, it is your mother so you feel at home. But to her, she is stranger, a guest in that house. It can't be her matrimonial home.

ImaIma1:


I followed the initial thread last year.

Imagine my MIL insisting that we must come and live in her house first after getting married, I would have cancelled the wedding too. In which culture is that done or what verse in the bible supports it?

I blame the guy for not having the wisdom to make sure his wife and mother understand each other. He too was leaning towards staying with mummy. I don't think he was ready for marriage.

For good reason. Good fuckingg reason

Draslo:

For good reason. Good fuckingg reason

What reason? And please if you're going to curse, don't respond.

ImaIma1:


This is not about MILs being evil. A newly wedded couple need their space to be able to bond well without interference. This kind of arrangement rarely ends well.

It breeds contempt, bitterness, hatred. When you fight, your mother is aware and is likely to take sides. You need to fight and settle on your own. Get to know each other on your own without someone hovering over.

God that said that a man shall leave his parents and cleave to his wife is not foolish. Is the promise of a new house tied to living with her first? Why?

Marriage is hard enough, to now have to stay in another person's house straight after tying the knot is not advisable. To you, it is your mother so you feel at home. But to her, she is stranger, a guest in that house. It can't be her matrimonial home.

They're not staying there forever ooooo!

ImaIma1:


What reason? And please if you're going to curse, don't respond.

I curse like pure water. Sorry for that. Reason being that since they're building, they wouldn't have to worry about also paying for rent. When my dad was growing up, his parents weren't super rich but they had a huge home and all his step brothers and sisters had a room each. Except for the women, all of them started their families in their respective rooms before moving out at some point. I was four when my folks moved out and rented their first ever flat at Adeniyi Jones. I guess the world isn't the same anymore

Draslo:

They're not staying there forever ooooo!

It is not a good place to start from.

Draslo:

I curse like pure water. Sorry for that. Reason being that since they're building, they wouldn't have to worry about also paying for rent. When my dad was growing up, his parents weren't super rich but they had a huge home and all his step brothers and sisters had a room each. Except for the women, all of them started their families in their respective rooms before moving out at some point. I was four when my folks moved out and rented their first ever flat at Adeniyi Jones. I guess the world isn't the same anymore

I understand you. It was convenient and the couples obviously agreed, not like your grandma insisted that it is a must when they had another choice.

When my brother got married, his wife stayed with us in our family house till they were able to afford a flat and move out. It was not because my mother said they must stay there first like it's mandatory.

Some mothers still want to control their son's lives when they get married and it is very wrong. I learnt from my mum. She knew how to mind her business and let everyone live their lives as adults. So I don't get it when a mum is forcing herself into a space.

Draslo:
Your sister will likely birth sons and if she's lucky to be alive when they marry, she'll be paid back in her own coin, just maybe not the same circumstances. If na Dangote pikin she marry and the son wants his mother to live with them, I can bet she'll have absolutely no problems with it.

You talk out of sentiments. It's not like she threw the woman on the streets or shes dependent or sick. If she is old and independent, theres no way she would want to Intrude In the sons family. Is that a good thing? Not everyone likes companionship. So leave the curse. And with this her stance. She could be avoiding future problems btw the two. Dont look at it one sided. Issues can be up from either of them tomorrow. The lady too much