EJanni:
Keeping secrets in marriage is never good but I don't see anything wrong in try to build house for her family. If she had relied on you, you would have still complained about the burden.

You are worse than the woman in this story!

Yusufisraelj:
Mehn this is heart breaking, the wife no try at all.

Hmmm but watin man go do. What I will do in his position is not to take any action for like three months until my head clear, am not the divorce type but she go hear am small. Starting to sell the land and vehicle he bought for her was a bit premature and emotionally induced on his part, since her family all came by and she has shown remorse, he should capitalize on that to make new rules for explicit openness. Again talk is cheap, make person no jam this kind type.

Na weak men like una women dey take play joke!
What is premature in retrieving his money collected under false pretenses? Is you head correct? You went to the same university with a lady, got the same degree. She is working as well as you, she may even be earning more than you, but you are the one footing all the bills dying of high blood pressure. Tell me again, what is the definition of hell? That woman never loved him! And you can quote me anywhere!

EJanni:
Keeping secrets in marriage is never good but I don't see anything wrong in try to build house for her family. If she had relied on you, you would have still complained about the burden.

Reading is good for your brain.


Learn to read.

One advice my father gave me that I've never forgotten is "my son, fear women ".
I've seen many things ever since to reinforce that fear.

Mumu Simp. What are you still waiting for to divorce the bitch.

AbujaCitiBlog:

You are worse than the woman in this story!

Thanks

danietohbadt:



Reading is good for your brain.


Learn to read.

Thanks so much

AbujaCitiBlog:

Na weak men like una women dey take play joke!
What is premature in retrieving his money collected under false pretenses? Is you head correct? You went to the same university with a lady, got the same degree. She is working as well as you, she may even be earning more than you, but you are the one footing all the bills dying of high blood pressure. Tell me again, what is the definition of hell? That woman never loved him! And you can quote me anywhere!

leave him jera he's just talking trash, na so some go dey form wetin dey no fit.... The man took the right action...

Spending123:
I stand with Mosdii's quote any day, any time and anybody that trys to thwart that quote on Nairaland, I go swear juju for that person.

That was how I took my ex girlfriend out on her birthday, did shopping for her and flexed her, but when it was on my own birthday , she went to facebook and post....." clear road!! clear road!! a king was born"


Chidinma when did I tell you I own a kingdom? nah dog go bite you anywhere you are.

Them need to clear road for you

Kharol1234:
Them need to clear road for you

Bros I still the vex

AbujaCitiBlog:

Na weak men like una women dey take play joke!
What is premature in retrieving his money collected under false pretenses? Is you head correct? You went to the same university with a lady, got the same degree. She is working as well as you, she may even be earning more than you, but you are the one footing all the bills dying of high blood pressure. Tell me again, what is the definition of hell? That woman never loved him! And you can quote me anywhere!

Lols, how I wish you knew me in person, that aside, I don't understand your perspective of what marriage is and what informs that perspective.

But if you think being vengeful is the way to go, then you miss road. The goal here is to let the woman see that her priorities were misplaced and fix the situation, will living with her be comfortable in those times; NO, but like everything you (the man) will get over it. I'd rather have a family burn out of growth and genuine love, than a house full of paybacks, will there be consequences for actions definitely, but my overall objective will be that I create a situation where she trust me absolutely and won't hide a pin.

I'm a very strategic person, I'd rather lose a battle and win the WAR, than behave like someone settling scores. Call me simp, your headache.

Yusufisraelj:



Lols, how I wish you knew me in person, that aside, I don't understand your perspective of what marriage is and what informs that perspective.

But if you think being vengeful is the way to go, then you miss road. The goal here is to let the woman see that her priorities were misplaced and fix the situation, will living with her be comfortable in those times; NO, but like everything you (the man) will get over it. I'd rather have a family burn out of growth and genuine love, than a house full of paybacks, will there be consequences for actions definitely, but my overall objective will be that I create a situation where she trust me absolutely and won't hide a pin.

I'm a very strategic person, I'd rather lose a battle and win the WAR, than behave like someone settling scores. Call me simp, your headache.

You have lost the battle and the war totally if you reason like this. Did the lady and her Dad claim that she did what she did because she could not trust him? I know your type. You are already insinuating that trust was the reason why she betrayed her husband. Which is why you said, if you were in the husband shoes, you would have made her have so much trust in you that she would not hide a pin. It is obvious from your mindset that your type always believes that the man is wrong no matter what. You have conditioned your mind to hate your gender and be biased against your gender!

It is shameful, you reason this way. Even the wife's father recognized that they were wrong when he caught them! But you here, an internet warrior in your internet 'wisdom' has narrowed it down to lack of trust in her husband.
Your shame dey shame me!
Tueh!
As for me, the marriage ends the day I find out. I don't take kindly to betrayals! Certainly not from my wife.

AbujaCitiBlog:

You have lost the battle and the war totally if you reason like this. Did the lady and her Dad claim that she did what she did because she could not trust him? I know your type. You are already insinuating that trust was the reason why she betrayed her husband. Which is why you said, if you were in the husband shoes, you would have made her have so much trust in you that she would not hide a pin. It is obvious from your mindset that your type always believes that the man is wrong no matter what. You have conditioned your mind to hate your gender and be biased against your gender!

It is shameful, you reason this way. Even the wife's father recognized that they were wrong when he caught them! But you here, an internet warrior in your internet 'wisdom' has narrowed it down to lack of trust in her husband.
Your shame dey shame me!
Tueh!
As for me, the marriage ends the day I find out. I don't take kindly to betrayals! Certainly not from my wife.

I get your perspective of not trying to be bais and gender sensitive on certain issues, but going through your profile tells me you're a Christian let's disect this matter from our Faith.

Now Jesus speaking said - forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us; Luke 11:4

Peter speaking to church said - husband's dwell with your wife according to knowledge; 1 pet 3:7

By your predisposition you said that was betrayal on the woman's part and I say it's lack of trust, with the following assertions.

1. A woman who trust her husband will have nothing to hide from him.

2. A woman who trust her husband will not think anything she does to her family will be seen in a bad light to her husband.

3. A woman who trust her husband believes he will give good counsel to her hence the submission of her will and opinions to him which will be grounds for oppeness.

I have made these assertions from the following background, a man lacking wisdom (isolation God's counsel concerning a matter) has no business marrying.

That gross mistake on the wife's part can only emanate from a wrong mindset or lack of trust, it has happened, what is now the way forward;

You - it's betrayal hence divorce

What does the Bible say - a man of wisdom is hesitant to make quick judgement, he should learn to forgive and ask God to show him what to do and Grant him the knowledge he needs to up hold his marriage.

The Bible says except for the sin of sex, God does not approve Divorce, it says husband's love your wives as Christ loved the church laying down his life for her.

like I said will there be consequences for her actions; yes, but my overall objective is to bring the woman to a place where she cannot hide anything - spirits are real and seek to break homes with little misgivings, if all you think all there is to the matter is all physical, think again

That's capital offence, self-centeredness and greed on the woman's part - seek to correct that and build a marriage that last than finding faults to break your home, who will raise your kids?

EJanni:


U didn't read where I condemned her for keeping secrets? Or you're looking for something to say.

If you like get afraid, na u sabi

You condemned her for keeping secrets and yet you added that if she had told him, he would have complained. That implies that you are indirectly and craftily supporting her.
He didn't tell us his anger was because of what she did but because she hid it from him.

If you were in her shoes, you would have done the same...and that is why you scare me.

Yusufisraelj:


I get your perspective of not trying to be bais and gender sensitive on certain issues, but going through your profile tells me you're a Christian let's disect this matter from our Faith.

Now Jesus speaking said - forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us; Luke 11:4

Peter speaking to church said - husband's dwell with your wife according to knowledge; 1 pet 3:7

By your predisposition you said that was betrayal on the woman's part and I say it's lack of trust, with the following assertions.

1. A woman who trust her husband will have nothing to hide from him.

2. A woman who trust her husband will not think anything she does to her family will be seen in a bad light to her husband.

3. A woman who trust her husband believes he will give good counsel to her hence the submission of her will and opinions to him which will be grounds for oppeness.

I have made these assertions from the following background, a man lacking wisdom (isolation God's counsel concerning a matter) has no business marrying.

That gross mistake on the wife's part can only emanate from a wrong mindset or lack of trust, it has happened, what is now the way forward;

You - it's betrayal hence divorce

What does the Bible say - a man of wisdom is hesitant to make quick judgement, he should learn to forgive and ask God to show him what to do and Grant him the knowledge he needs to up hold his marriage.

The Bible says except for the sin of sex, God does not approve Divorce, it says husband's love your wives as Christ loved the church laying down his life for her.

like I said will there be consequences for her actions; yes, but my overall objective is to bring the woman to a place where she cannot hide anything - spirits are real and seek to break homes with little misgivings, if all you think all there is to the matter is all physical, think again

That's capital offence, self-centeredness and greed on the woman's part - seek to correct that and build a marriage that last than finding faults to break your home, who will raise your kids?

Some things are becoming clear from your viewpoint right here. It is either you are a lady using a male profile here or you have a strong bias against your own gender. It has to be either of the two.

A woman hides her income from her husband, uses her income exclusively for her family, buying cars, lands and houses. Your Verdict: The man is at fault because his wife does not trust him.

Please, you may not know it but something is seriously wrong with your ability to reason objectively.

Where in the write up, did the wife accuse him of being untrustworthy as the reason for her betrayal and lies?

If trust was the issue, why then did the wife start spending her own money after being discovered? Even the father in defense of his daughter laid the blame squarely on his own feet. He blamed himself instead of the husband because he knew the daughter betrayed the husband.

My brother, go for gender reassignment surgery and become a woman. You have no business self hating your own gender. These days it is very possible to change your own gender. Or start cross dressing. But please for the sake of your own sanity stop parading yourself as a man as one of the characteristics of men is ability to reason objectively.

It is very simple, his wife has betrayed his trust and love completely.

Forgive her, divorce her thoroughly and move on. There's nothing left.

AbujaCitiBlog:

Some things are becoming clear from your viewpoint right here. It is either you are a lady using a male profile here or you have a strong bias against your own gender. It has to be either of the two.

A woman hides her income from her husband, uses her income exclusively for her family, buying cars, lands and houses. Your Verdict: The man is at fault because his wife does not trust him.

Please, you may not know it but something is seriously wrong with your ability to reason objectively.

Where in the write up, did the wife accuse him of being untrustworthy as the reason for her betrayal and lies?

If trust was the issue, why then did the wife start spending her own money after being discovered? Even the father in defense of his daughter laid the blame squarely on his own feet. He blamed himself instead of the husband because he knew the daughter betrayed the husband.

My brother, go for gender reassignment surgery and become a woman. You have no business self hating your own gender. These days it is very possible to change your own gender. Or start cross dressing. But please for the sake of your own sanity stop parading yourself as a man as one of the characteristics of men is ability to reason objectively.

It is very simple, his wife has betrayed his trust and love completely.

Forgive her, divorce her thoroughly and move on. There's nothing left.

I understand you clearly, the challenge with your "objectivity" is that you believe most likely in disagreements that things are wrong only with the other party and not you, hence your unreasonable doubt on my gender and a change for my sex, that's being careless on your part. I've never attacked you directly, but you find joy doing that.

This leaves me with the position your are either close minded and follow the redpill narrative or have a faulty mindset on what the definition of masculinity really is. At the end your kind glory in self righteousness and not tolerant on other people's misgivings.

Real objectivity lies in what you can change as a person, without relying on anybody else, it is the ability to see how you can create your own realities without depending on anybody, and if something is wrong in a relationship, you see what you can do to improve general dynamics and health and not pass blames, and if you feel you can't handle it you walk out of that relationship.

So from your depositions that is too hard for you to handle, I now understand your position. Like I've said from inception as for me, I'll look for what I can do to change the situation where that "betrayal" can never happen again, I don't marry with the aim of divorce, hence my absolute dependency on God to show me what to do and his counsel on everything. For your info only good and submissive ladies who don't hide anything from me comes across my path, it's not my doing but there are certain things when you posses only sincere people cross your path, bkos what you know, how you handle things and your source matters a great deal.

Enjoy your weekend.

Yusufisraelj:


I understand you clearly, the challenge with your "objectivity" is that you believe most likely in disagreements that things are wrong only with the other party and not you, hence your unreasonable doubt on my gender and a change for my sex, that's being careless on your part. I've never attacked you directly, but you find joy doing that.

This leaves me with the position your are either close minded and follow the redpill narrative or have a faulty mindset on what the definition of masculinity really is. At the end your kind glory in self righteousness and not tolerant on other people's misgivings.

Real objectivity lies in what you can change as a person, without relying on anybody else, it is the ability to see how you can create your own realities without depending on anybody, and if something is wrong in a relationship, you see what you can do to improve general dynamics and health and not pass blames, and if you feel you can't handle it you walk out of that relationship.

So from your depositions that is too hard for you to handle, I now understand your position. Like I've said from inception as for me, I'll look for what I can do to change the situation where that "betrayal" can never happen again, I don't marry with the aim of divorce, hence my absolute dependency on God to show me what to do and his counsel on everything. For your info only good and submissive ladies who don't hide anything from me comes across my path, it's not my doing but there are certain things when you posses only sincere people cross your path, bkos what you know, how you handle things and your source matters a great deal.

Enjoy your weekend.

He still keeps blaming his gender! Na una type for challenge Jesus for not selecting even one woman among his twelve apostles. Your mind is completely closed against your gender! To you every marital issues must be the fault of the man!

That is where you are wrong! The person who betrayed the trust is the woman and not the man, the person who crossed the line is the woman and not the man. So, the ONUS is on the woman to WORK HARD and restore the broken trust and love. The man does not need to lift a damn finger!

That is where you are wrong, quit blaming your gender, if you are really a man.

Did you see any part of the post where anybody from the family blamed him! STOP hating yourself and your gender. If you are truly a man, God knows why he made you one.

The woman needs to work hard indeed to restore the broken trust. You don't even understand the extent of the betrayal and lies.

You are not invested enough in the story to understand the dept of the betrayal.

The man needs God guidance to forgive this, not the slanted oblique ideas of people like you!

AbujaCitiBlog:

He still keeps blaming his gender! Na una type for challenge Jesus for not selecting even one woman among his twelve apostles. Your mind is completely closed against your gender! To you every marital issues must be the fault of the man!

That is where you are wrong! The person who betrayed the trust is the woman and not the man, the person who crossed the line is the woman and not the man. So, the ONUS is on the woman to WORK HARD and restore the broken trust and love. The man does not need to lift a damn finger!

That is where you are wrong, quit blaming your gender, if you are really a man.

Did you see any part of the post where anybody from the family blamed him! STOP hating yourself and your gender. If you are truly a man, God knows why he made you one.

The woman needs to work hard indeed to restore the broken trust. You don't even understand the extent of the betrayal and lies.

You are not invested enough in the story to understand the dept of the betrayal.

The man needs God guidance to forgive this, not the slanted oblique ideas of people like you!

Look I understand you, you don't seem to get where am coming from, the woman needs to really work on building that trust/"betrayal" she has broken/created, but saying the man will not lift a finger is where I'm of a difference.

You see, what atmosphere did he create that gave her the space to only reveal her initial salary only and kept mute on the subsequent increase? What tolerance did he permit that allowed her think she was okay doing those things behind his back? Does that tell you the level of communication between them? Do you know mostly a man dictates the general well being and how a relationship should grow?

You see faults in love relationships mostly travel both ways, there are exceptions however.

Am not hating on my gender, but I'd rather focus on what I can do to create my realities, while the woman works on herself to regain that trust I will focus on things that I can do never to create that space for such stupidity on her part to thrive.

Yusufisraelj:


Look I understand you, you don't seem to get where am coming from, the woman needs to really work on building that trust/"betrayal" she has broken/created, but saying the man will not lift a finger is where I'm of a difference.

You see, what atmosphere did he create that gave her the space to only reveal her initial salary only and kept mute on the subsequent increase? What tolerance did he permit that allowed her think she was okay doing those things behind his back? Does that tell you the level of communication between them? Do you know mostly a man dictates the general well being and how a relationship should grow?

You see faults in love relationships mostly travel both ways, there are exceptions however.

Am not hating on my gender, but I'd rather focus on what I can do to create my realities, while the woman works on herself to regain that trust I will focus on things that I can do never to create that space for such stupidity on her part to thrive.

Keep blaming the man, you just cannot stop yourself. If someone is untrustworthy, must it be because of someone else. People like you may even blame Jesus for the betrayal of Judas. In your own mind, Jesus should have worked on himself to gain the trust of Judas, abi?

The woman hid her salary increase because exposing it will raise questions on what she does with the huge sum she controls! Get it into your skull, it was not the MAN'S FAULT.

Quit blaming your gender. She and her family planned the whole thing, all along, they are only sorry now because they were caught.

Learn to appreciate your gender. For your own good health.

AbujaCitiBlog:

Keep blaming the man, you just cannot stop yourself. If someone is untrustworthy, must it be because of someone else. People like you may even blame Jesus for the betrayal of Judas. In your own mind, Jesus should have worked on himself to gain the trust of Judas, abi?

The woman hid her salary increase because exposing it will raise questions on what she does with the huge sum she controls! Get it into your skull, it was not the MAN'S FAULT.

Quit blaming your gender. She and her family planned the whole thing, all along, they are only sorry now because they were caught.

Learn to appreciate your gender. For your own good health.

Lols, it is well. Let's disagree to agree.

akaahs:

Just speechless. Everything is just like movie to me. Hope I won't pass through such nastic experience one day.

Nastic?? Oga oo.

He's a weak man

Bluezy13:


You condemned her for keeping secrets and yet you added that if she had told him, he would have complained. That implies that you are indirectly and craftily supporting her.
He didn't tell us his anger was because of what she did but because she hid it from him.

If you were in her shoes, you would have done the same...and that is why you scare me.

If I were in her shoes, it wouldn't have been a secret.
If you're in a financial mess and your married sister opted to help you would you decline?

I didn't support her action but I commend her for not turning her back against her family. If her husband pursues her, they're the only ones she can fall back on.

EJanni:

If I were in her shoes, it wouldn't have been a secret.
If you're in a financial mess and your married sister opted to help you would you decline?

I didn't support her action but I commend her for not turning her back against her family. If her husband pursues her, they're the only ones she can fall back on.

Imagine you building a house for your father and all the expenses on the family including your sanitary pads depend solely on your husband who is even struggling to keep up and you are even lending a penny.

Bluezy13:


Imagine you building a house for your father and all the expenses on the family including your sanitary pads depend solely on your husband who is even struggling to keep up and you are even lending a penny.

Oga live me biko, shey u said you're scared just run along.
Respect my opinion and move on. I'm not the woman and the woman is not me.

EJanni:


Oga live me biko, shey u said you're scared just run along.
Respect my opinion and move on. I'm not the woman and the woman is not me.

You don't have to be sternly uncouth.
You should have just ignored my post.
And I think you should ignore this one after reading.

Only weak men depend on their wives for financial support.

Only weak ass men share the financial burden of their home with their wives

EJanni:

If I were in her shoes, it wouldn't have been a secret.
If you're in a financial mess and your married sister opted to help you would you decline?

I didn't support her action but I commend her for not turning her back against her family. If her husband pursues her, they're the only ones she can fall back on.

Another proof that women love opportunistically