In Nigeria today, you are more likely to be taunted for being a nice guy and all effort is meant to turn you into a monster, so much that you might become crueler.

The male folks see you as a "mumu" and the female folks see you as a weakling and spineless but I say there is nothing wrong with you.

There is nothing wrong with giving someone care and attention and the fact that most Nigerian ladies take this for granted does not mean you are a fool.

So how can you maintain a balance in a world where doing right is almost becoming taboo? I will share my personal observations, culled from my own experiences too.

Understand one thing: THE GOAL is to PROTECT YOURSELF at all COST! because women on the other hand arE very very intentional in their mission

Know Who You Are: Knowing who you are and what you carry is very very important. Understand one thing, your kind is very very rare and you must always proclaim this when you are in a relationship. It is not every guy that will see that nice handbag and say "let me get it for this lady" As a matter of fact, a lot of ladies rarely get gifts from their supposed men in a relationship.

So, if you are an exception, that makes you rare. There are other qualities that make you rare and you know them. SO, never let a lady make you feel that she can run you over.

Be Firm: One of the things that make girls take nice guys for granted is their lack of ability to exude masculinity. When a lady does something that is wrong, be SUPER FAST to put her in her place.

For instance, if she yells at you because you queried her over something that demands a query, especially when done in a calm tone, DO NOT... I repeat, DO NOT let it slide. Immediately give her a stern warning never to yell at you ever again in her life.

Do not take nonsense from any girl... While doing this, there are 99% chances that she will NOT admit her wrong openly for egoistic reasons (I don't even know the one that is an exception to this). But deep down, she knows she messed up. Her admittance might come like months later or even years. That is how these ladies behave.

Set Standards: You need to set standards to weed out the kind of girls that come into your life. Do not accept anything just because she has a pretty face, boobs, and pussy, especially if you are the highly intelligent kind with good prospects for the future. You have to be highly selective and never date anyone below your societal standards.

My point, for instance, is that just because you met a very pretty lady with a nice ass and figure is NOT enough reason to date her. Have you considered what she can offer?

In setting standards, do not, like me, erroneously assume that you are discriminating against your fellow human. This is why I got it wrong. I will explain.

I met one lady on here in one of those threads where you make your intentions known and people loved the way I presented my points and reasons etc. In fact, I was the spotlight on that day and discerning ones could see the genuineness in my approach. Ladies and Gentlemen, it ended in tears .

Do Not Date Girls From Poor Home: Now, this sounds pretty harsh but I am sure 8 guys from 10 guys here will agree with me in my following points.

This section is a subset of setting standards and I must let you know that women on the other hand are very intentional about this. That is why you hear them say they can't date a broke boy or they can't date a guy without car.

So let me explain. In setting standards, if I had done that early enough, the girl I met here wouldn't have insulted me the way she did.

How do I mean? She was not a graduate in the true sense vs I who went through the whole process and even did NYSC to serve Nigeria. Economically, she has never earned 300k consistently but because of the little privilege, she blurted " I can't date someone that is not financially stable" and all because I was going through some financial crisis which denied me the opportunity to get what she requested for. SO, in her small mind, she above me just because she has no other thing aside boobs, ass and pusssy.

Now, if I had set a standard at that time to never allow a girl from a poor home (one where feeding is a problem), one that is at least a graduate, working, that insult might never have happened because looking at the whole thing, it is I who was supposed to discard her on the ground that she is NOT up there.

The funny thing is that sometime later, after using my financial state at that time to weed me out, she wanted me to me loan her money. Funny?

Be Very Critical About Background: Another reason why you need to stay away from girls who are from poor homes as a Nice Guy is that there is every chance that they can't reciprocate affection because where they come from lacks that emotional expression. It is popularly said that " You can't give what you do not have" Nice guys are generally known to be overly loving, caring, and giving this to someone that is not used to it is a complete WASTE! You will hear something like " I don't fall in love easily" " I don't know how to communicate" "I am not good at this or that" Does these words sound familiar? If yes, RUN!

This is not discrimination or segregation because, on the other hand, women do it ALL THE TIME. So why shouldn't you?

Have an Abundance Mindset: Always have an abundance mindset such that as soon as she starts giving you attitude, do not make her feel you that you can't get another girl or you will die without her.

Only Date Stay With One That Makes Effort: You do not want to be in a relationship where you are the only one that makes all the efforts. If a lady does not give same energy as you are giving, even from the first day you met her... STAY FAR AWAY from her for your own emotional safety. You will know this from the way she responds to your chat on the first day

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Wow... as a confirmed ex NiceMan, this is absolutely truth...