I notice in those days, our fathers or forefathers usually have their own personal room, while their wife or wives have their separate rooms too. With this arrangement, they can easily retire to their space when they need a quiet moment away from noise.
.
But with civilization and Western love practices, husband and wife now stay in same room, infact it's now like a taboo or strange for couples to have separate rooms, which I don't think is bad in the name of monogamous 'love' and oneness. At the same time, children can also be noisy even though there's hardly what one can do to prevent children from noise.
.
However I believe there are men who still crave that personal space and joy of being alone, who would prefer to have their own space not because they don't love cohabiting with their wives but for some occasional times they want to be alone.
.
Is that still possible these days with our present shared room settings? How do such men cope cos I believe it's some emotional or psychological need that may be hard to be met in marriage these days. Or do we just say such need can go to hell?

NiRfreak:
I notice in those days, our fathers or forefathers usually have their own personal room, while their wife or wives have their separate rooms too. With this arrangement, they can easily retire to their space when they need a quiet moment away from noise.
.
But with civilization and Western love practices, husband and wife now stay in same room, infact it's now like a taboo or strange for couples to have separate rooms, which I don't think is bad in the name of monogamous 'love' and oneness. At the same time, children can also be noisy even though there's hardly what one can do to prevent children from noise.
.
However I believe there are men who still crave that personal space and joy of being alone, who would prefer to have their own space not because they don't love cohabiting with their wives but for some occasional times they want to be alone.
.
Is that still possible these days with our present shared room settings? How do such men cope cos I believe it's some emotional or psychological need that may be hard to be met in marriage these days.

Travel for a while to clear your head and come back to continue your lovely marriage :

Deliberately build the kind of home u want. These say people want stuff but don't want to put in the work

space for sale!!!!

Patented:
Deliberately build the kind of home u want. These say people want stuff but don't want to put in the work

Before you build that house nkor....and after will you stop sharing room with your spouse?

Madam and masters bedroom designe continues for the rich despite what.

Yawnsssss. Looking for ways to cope inside a marriage you want to enter. Yep. Nothing extraordinary there at all.

Most of such marriages no get peace..complains upon complains.

Stop eating her food and talking to her for some time. Create imaginary quarrel.

There's no personal anything once you are married. If you truely love your spouse little time away from them and you miss them like crazy

chiommy123:
There's no personal anything once you are married. If you truely love your spouse little time away from them and you miss them like crazy

A day or two, won't miss anything. Man always needs some space to imagine the next reality but women always want that kind clingy thing. Well work or business creates some time to miss each other and like the other guys said, travel for time and clear your head. Lovy dovy no dey put food for table

NiRfreak:

Before you build that house nkor....and after will you stop sharing room with your spouse?

I said home not house oooooo. Was referring to d family not a building.

Patented:


I said home not house oooooo. Was referring to d family not a building.

I doubt one can hardly build a home and control noise and personal space without having to demarcate certain space, personal room from entry by other family member

Our fathers and four fathers married more than one wife. Do not compare them with now.

Bluezy13:
Our fathers and four fathers married more than one wife.
Do not compare them with now.

That means we can jettison the space they ones enjoy...or that space is no longer necessary or craved by married men?

NiRfreak:

That means we can jettison the space they ones enjoy...or that space is no longer necessary or craved by married men?

That space is no longer necessary.
We don't marry more than one wife such that the women will have separate rooms..So there is no need for separateness

Bluezy13:


That space is no longer necessary.
We don't marry more than one wife such that the women will have separate rooms..So there is no need for separateness

You are actively saying a married man has no right to privacy or personal space...
.
But we know people crave such space for their psychological wellbeing. It means u are saying to hell with their psychological wellbeing for space.

NiRfreak:


You are actively saying a married man has no right privacy or personal space...
.
But we know people crave such space for their psychological wellbeing. It means u are saying to hell with their psychological wellbeing for space.

You are vehemently accusing me of saying a married man has no right to privacy or personal space and you abruptly and conclusively opined that I categorically implied that to hell with a married man's psychological wellbeing for space.
I however deny these accusations. This is because a careful revisal scrutiny of my posts so far does not in any way justify your claim

I simply stated that your comparison of our fathers and forefathers' marital lives with respect to having separate rooms from their wives is uncalled for with the reason that they had separate rooms because they were largely polygamists since one cannot marry two to three or more wives and expect to occupy one room with all of them. It was necessary not for psychological wellbeing but for privacy of sexual gratification, catering for individual family members in direct proportion to his wives, as well as division of labour and financial allocations.

In light of the above, I would not be derailing from morality and legality if I should sue you for false accusations,
defamation of character and damages for the megabits, battery, energy and time I dwindled in clarifying my stance.

Bluezy13:


You are vehemently accusing me of saying a married man has no right to privacy or personal space and you abruptly and conclusively opined that I categorically implied that to hell with a married man's psychological wellbeing for space.
I however deny these accusations. This is because a careful revisal scrutiny of my posts so far does not in any way justify your claim

I simply stated that your comparison of our fathers and forefathers marital lives with respect to having separate rooms from their wives is uncalled for with the reason that they had separate rooms because they were largely polygamists since one cannot marry two to three or more wives and expect to occupy one room with all of them. It was necessary not for psychological wellbeing but for privacy of sexual gratification, catering for individual family members in direct proportion to his wives, as well as division of labour and financial allocations.

In light of the above, I would not be derailing from morality and legality if I should sue you for false accusations,
defamation of character and damages for the megabits, battery, energy and time I dwindled in clarifying my stance.

Lol. Hahaha.
.
Well I won't quite agree with your premise. Even though our fathers or forefathers dwelled in separate rooms from their wives as it seems separate rooms were more compatible with polygamy, I would say many who married angle wife also maintain separate room and it's not a norm that the monogamist amongst them shared same room.
.
Meanwhile, you have not also tell us how married men cohabiting in same room today can enjoy the personal space and tranquility our forefathers enjoyed...unless u deem it not necessary which u almost implied. However how men who crave that personal space cope in this setting was the main thrust of my post, cos I believe those men still exist in marriage

Depends on your spouse and the ground rules u both agree too from the beginning. Obviously when chilren some into play that is another matter but in that case even a physical barrier may not entirely solve the problem.

there are many Horror stories of marriage out there but it is not everybodies story. many marriages are working but its not like they will make a declaration on social media. Who would come to nairaland just to say that their marriage makes sense...................? few if any.

NiRfreak:

I doubt one can hardly build a home and control noise and personal space without having to demarcate certain space, personal room from entry by other family member

Patented:
Depends on your spouse and the ground rules u both agree too from the beginning. Obviously when chilren some into play that is another matter but in that case even a physical barrier may not entirely solve the problem.

there are many Horror stories of marriage out there but it is not everybodies story. many marriages are working but its not like they will make a declaration on social media. Who would come to nairaland just to say that their marriage makes sense...................? few if any.

Tor

NiRfreak:


Lol. Hahaha.
.
Well I won't quite agree with your premise. Even though our fathers or forefathers dwelled in separate rooms from their wives as it seems separate rooms were more compatible with polygamy, I would say many who married angle wife also maintain separate room and it's not a norm that the monogamist amongst them shared same room.
.
[b], you have not also tell us how married men cohabiting in same room today can enjoy the personal space and tranquility our forefathers enjoyed...unless u deem it not necessary which u almost implied. However how men who crave that personal space cope in this setting was the main thrust of my post, cos I believe those men still exist in marriage/b]

Although your question is somewhat ambiguous owing to the fact that the comparison is inconsequential in this setting, yet I will try and be direct and as concise as possible.

If I have a child, I may chose to cohabit in the same room with my child and at such I can't enjoy that psychological space and tranquility I may desire.
If I have up to two children perhaps, I may chose to get additional three rooms for each respectively and this will inadvertently leave me with a room for myself alone. Hence there will be the privilege of psychological tranquility and space.
Consequently, married men of today cannot enjoy that psychological tranquility and space because they are cohabiting.
Necessity is the mother of invention.

Lalasticlalala
Mynd44

Pls, kindly help move it to family section, that is where it was intended. Was Mistakenly posted on sexuality. Thanks

chiommy123:
There's no personal anything once you are married. If you truely love your spouse little time away from them and you miss them like crazy

This one watches too many romantic dramas.

Personal space is extremely important.... It doesn't mean the marriage wouldn't work out. Some of us just need some quiet time to find inner peace and attend to very important issues.

It's all about understanding.

Hehehehe!

What I value most in my partner/wife is Tranquillity and she will be my Reflection in everything I do.

That doesn't mean, I need to have a personal room or personal space to experience this aura of Tranquillity.

Tranquillity is who I am and Tranquillity is what my partner will be. That is, the ability to coexist and live in the same space without losing the aura of Tranquillity in my life and Environment.

introverts will find this hard to adjust into the new lifestyle.
now I see why people opt for babymama

Reex12:
introverts will find this hard to adjust into the new lifestyle.
now I see why people opt for babymama

You are seeing the picture and connecting the dots.

society or not I don't joke with my personal space,there are times I hate everything and everyone and I just want to stay alone and cool my mind

I will let every one that comes into my life to know that

Buy a home with several bedrooms/rooms. That way, you can retreat to one for a few hours on those occasions when you need some time to yourself.

Vision101:
Stop eating her food and talking to her for some time. Create imaginary quarrel.

Lol

PacAmaru:
society or not I don't joke with my personal space,there are times I hate everything and everyone and I just want to stay alone and cool my mind

I will let every one that comes into my life to know that

This is the point