@OP

CALL EVERYTHING OFF!!!!!!!

It seems like she's trying get out anyway. Be the one who closes the deal, not that aggressive b!@tch.

thanks @ all, i have told her my mind but she is now full of promises of 'it won't repeat itself again', i told her i'm not willing to take the risk

netsurf:

thanks @ all, i have told her my mind but she is now full of promises of 'it won't repeat itself again', i told her i'm not willing to take the risk

Good, let her go.

To be honest I can't believe you still stayed for a while despite this, I woulda kicked her to the curb straight away.

But good work heh-heh!

Lol that's what you get when you re 40 trying to marry a 18-20 year old woman. Sounds more like my 42 year uncle who traveled to Nigeria to get married to 20yr old girl I just laughed n told em that he's about giving someone n her boyfriend American Citizenship. Com'on how d hell do u expect that marriage to last with such age diff no matter how wealthy you re.

OP.

Can you force her to close her FB's accounts? . . . . . .That won't still solve the prb,
Just be sure if she's really into you or still attached to her Ex . . . . . .You can't force her and however you can't plead her to submit herself to you. . . .Just be sure if she really loves yah or just . . . .

D-sense:

OP.

Can you force her to close her FB's accounts? . . . . . .That won't still solve the prb,
Just be sure if she's really into you or still attached to her Ex . . . . . .You can't force her and however you can't plead her to submit herself to you. . . .Just be sure if she really loves yah or just . . . .

From the time she's looking at her ex's account, it's time to GO. She's showing behaviour that hints she's still interested in her ex. That's enough to end it IMO.

No nonsense.

Kpele OP. I hear you cut things. Just go with a 35-ish woman. Someone more matured, more settled and has all her "little girl" fantasies and emotions in check.

Blood_Shed:

Good, let her go.

To be honest I can't believe you still stayed for a while despite this, I woulda kicked her to the curb straight away.

But good work heh-heh!

thanks a lot bro, I'm a no-nosense person myself but this lady has done some things that are positive for me and this is why i found myself at a cross road at taking a decisive step to addressing her untoward attitude. I lost my job for about 1 year but this lady was there for me all the time. but now that i'm back on my track, she starts this behavior, this is why it's so difficult taking action against her. But regardless of the past positive behavior, i cannot stomach the idea of my woman cheating.

netsurf:

thanks a lot bro, I'm a no-nosense person myself but this lady has done some things that are positive for me and this is why i found myself at a cross road at taking a decisive step to addressing her untoward attitude. I lost my job for about 1 year but this lady was there for me all the time. but now that i'm back on my track, she starts this behavior, this is why it's so difficult taking action against her. But regardless of the past positive behavior, i cannot stomach the idea of my woman cheating.

Stay out, even older ones are like that. Women hardly commit thesedays.

ferdiii:

Stay out, even older ones are like that. Women hardly commit thesedays.

thanks bro

Before you put a ring on that finger why don't you sit and ask yourself these

does she "REALLY" loves me?
Is she still in love with the Ex? (which i think she is)
can you cope with the kind of woman that will always refer to her Ex in any slight argument you two might have saying "my EX can never try that"?
are you willing to put up with her aggressiveness?

Marriage is not a bed of roses, its not something one walk into and walk out of if you can't cope
LOVE is not enough to build up a home

y me:

Before you put a ring on that finger why don't you sit and ask yourself these

does she "REALLY" loves me?
Is she still in love with the Ex? (which i think she is)
can you cope with the kind of woman that will always refer to her Ex in any slight argument you two might have saying "my EX can never try that"?
are you willing to put up with her aggressiveness?

Marriage is not a bed of roses, its not something one walk into and walk out of if you can't cope
LOVE is not enough to build up a home

Thanks sister, I have made up my mind already but now how do i avoid this type of ladies in my search since humans are unlike wine that one can taste before deciding to drink?

Now I see why many relationships fail. People still want to ignore early warning signs and entertain this nonsense.

Blood_Shed:

Now I see why many relationships fail. People still want to ignore early warning signs and entertain this nonsense.

true

thanks @ all

Poster,

Two years ago, you brought up story about the 2 women you have impregnated and you were getting ready to wed one of them. So, what happened then as I am surprised you hadn't married yet.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-351443.0.html

TheCongo:

Poster,

Two years ago, you brought up story about the 2 women you have impregnated and you were getting ready to wed one of them. So, what happened then as I am surprised you hadn't married yet.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-351443.0.html

, still the same lady i wrote about, besides, i didn't impregnate 2 of them, i said the first one claimed i was responsible but for your information, the lady later refuted her claim that I was responsible when it was clear to her that I'm not accepting her claim.

the introduction to the second lady had taken place and i hope to invite you soon for the wedding IF she stopped misbehaving.

OP abeg a twenty something yr old university undergraduate too young for you as a wife.From the way u sound it looks like ur girl na probably in her early 20s and she still dey for school.She no go fit be ur wife ooo.

netsurf:

, still the same lady i wrote about, besides, i didn't impregnate 2 of them, i said the first one claimed i was responsible but for your information, the lady later refuted her claim that I was responsible when it was clear to her that I'm not accepting her claim.

the introduction to the second lady had taken place and i hope to invite you soon for the wedding IF she stopped misbehaving.

Okay, she was pregnant back in 2009. How is the child? boy or girl?

See how people are talking about his age as if he's a granpa. Some of my friends (who are usually way way older than me) are in their fourties,single and they have girls below 25yrs fighting over themselves to hook them for marriage. So wetin una dey talk?

@Poster, She's still into her ex and rushing into marriage with her will not end it. You need to show her you still "got it". Let her know you can dump her in a heart beat and you should have the balls to do it if it comes to that. Since time immemorial, the only way to keep women in check is to let them know they are expendable at the drop of a pin. Once they feel you can't do without them or can't get better women than them, they start misbehaving (just like she's doing now).

harakiri:

@Poster, She's still into her ex and rushing into marriage with her will not end it. You need to show her you still "got it". Let her know you can dump her in a heart beat and you should have the balls to do it if it comes to that. Since time immemorial, the only way to keep women in check is to let them know they are expendable at the drop of a pin. Once they feel you can't do without them or can't get better women than them, they start misbehaving (just like she's doing now).

GBAM!!!!

She's the type that will consistently say " My ex-boyfriend was. . . . " " My ex-bf would not. . . ." etc when you guys have an arguement. Dude you dont want to be the "mistake" o. If na me, I for don fashi that side. Not going to be any guy's "mistake".

harakiri:

See how people are talking about his age as if he's a granpa. Some of my friends (who are usually way way older than me) are in their fourties,single and they have girls below 25yrs fighting over themselves to hook them for marriage. So wetin una dey talk?

@Poster, She's still into her ex and rushing into marriage with her will not end it. You need to show her you still "got it". Let her know you can dump her in a heart beat and you should have the balls to do it if it comes to that. Since time immemorial, the only way to keep women in check is to let them know they are expendable at the drop of a pin. Once they feel you can't do without them or can't get better women than them, they start misbehaving (just like she's doing now).

Guy a forty something year old pally is too old for a girl in her early 20s and the reason those ur friends in their fortys have young girls fighting over them is the money.After dem don chop these guys dem go dump them and move on.Trust naija girls

lefulefu:

OP abeg a twenty something yr old university undergraduate too young for you as a wife.From the way u sound it looks like your girl na probably in her early 20s and she still dey for school.She no go fit be your wife ooo.

@ lefulefu, she is now 28 and i'm 40, is that too much?

C'mon OP! Why would you want to marry a woman that visit her ex-boyfriend's facebook page after every confrontation? I can only imagine the feeling of inadequacy you've been subjected to by her insensitive acts.

Do not propose! What good is a marriage in disarray going to do you?

@Poster, I know this is off topic but is she from Akwa Ibom? I am not asking for ethnic reasons. Her profile (age and all) fits my Ex gf. Just asking lol.

@ OP

Shes looking at it wondering why she ever left a good man to settle with a douchebag. Just saying

am i the only one who is surprised at all the answers on this thread?! what is wrong with viewing an ex profile after quarrels? does MR POSTER thinks that she should erase her past from her mind? being with you means JUST THAT, being with you, it doesnt mean you should also control her mind and what she can or cannot watch online. if you really have a problem with that then you better date someone who has NEVER dated!

what a bunch of hypocrites, as if you guys view your partner's profile after quarrels?! here is a damn clue for y'all: after quarrels you feel down/low and will use whatever "tool" to feel better about yourself or what just happened. so a great memory, photos of past happy moments (or whatever) will do the trick. there is absolutely NOTHING wrong about that.
what the poster should ask instead is what was so special about that ex that makes her feel this way.

here is my solution to you MR POSTER, grow some balls, raise your self esteem level, believe in yourself, take better care of your woman and accept her for who she is instead of trying to force her into being who YOU want her to be.  with such age difference, there are bound to be different view of life, different ideas or simply different beliefs on how to have a great time together. thats what you get from dating someone 13yrs younger than you.

MRbrownJAY:

am i the only one who is surprised at all the answers on this thread?! what is wrong with viewing an ex profile after quarrels? does MR POSTER thinks that she should erase her past from her mind? being with you means JUST THAT, being with you, it doesnt mean you should also control her mind and what she can or cannot watch online. if you really have a problem with that then you better date someone who has NEVER dated!

what a bunch of hypocrites, as if you guys view your partner's profile after quarrels?! here is a damn clue for y'all: after quarrels you feel down/low and will use whatever "tool" to feel better about yourself or what just happened. so a great memory, photos of past happy moments (or whatever) will do the trick. there is absolutely NOTHING wrong about that.
what the poster should ask instead is what was so special about that ex that makes her feel this way.

here is my solution to you MR POSTER, grow some balls, raise your self esteem level, believe in yourself, take better care of your woman and accept her for who she is instead of trying to force her into being who YOU want her to be.  with such age difference, there are bound to be different view of life, different ideas or simply different beliefs on how to have a great time together. thats what you get from dating someone 13yrs younger than you.

Thanks, know what?, she is right here reading all these, she just walked in behind me while i was reading your response, she just saw this thread for the first time, now she is full of remorse, apologizing again for every wrong she had done, she says she didn't know i was serious when i complained about what she did. Now let me say this, before that incident of her viewing her ex profile, we had a little misunderstanding about the way she dress which i tried to correct but she was adamant and got angry so i ignored her throughout that day. Now rather than look for a positive way to get my attention, she logged on to facebook and started viewing her ex, today, she is saying that she just did that to hurt me and to get my attention because i ignored her for a whole day.

^^and what were the reasons she viewed her ex profile the TIME BEFORE? and the one BEFORE THAT?

MRbrownJAY:

^^and what were the reasons she viewed her ex profile the TIME BEFORE? and the one BEFORE THAT?

don't mind her, I'm only hanging on with my fingertips to the very slippery edge of the cliff of  this relationship and  what has been fueling my desire to cling is that I am certain she is not with me for  financial gains. This is exactly what I said to her yesterday.

but brotha, you said something that may be part of your problem: you want to decide how she should dress (aka you want to control her). as much as you may not like what she wears, there are subtle ways to deal with the issue at hand. if that escalates to a fight then you guys are VERY different.

here is my advice to you: you have been with this damsel for 3 long years, don't you think it's about time you accept her for WHO SHE IS? rather than trying to manipulate her into being WHO YOU WANT HER TO BE?!