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Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Anyone Ever Had An Experience Like This? / Why Do Women Divorcees Still Bear Their Ex Husband's Name After Divorce / Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Kelvinhunta: 9:07pm On May 02
I have passed through it, it's nothing that you can't handle! Marriage is the best option but when life is threatened, divorce is only the wise option. Depending on if you have kids, plans about coparenteing the kids. Babes go de run for u ooo. So think wella
foreman:


I think we have passed that stage dear. Just preparing for the aftermath. I really need people who have passed through the experience.
Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Kelvinhunta: 9:10pm On May 02
Not when your life is threatened
SweetCunt97:
The bible said the only excusable reason for divorce is Adultery. Cant you guys visit a marriage counselor?

1 Like

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by SweetCunt97(f): 9:28pm On May 02
Kelvinhunta:
Not when your life is threatened
Sorry
Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by evil1: 9:28pm On May 02
Let me tell you few things as a lawyer

Divorce is one hell of a process. Even the lawyer handling such matrimonial causes have to be very strong emotionally, if not it might affect him/her emotionally and pschologically. This is because emotions are put into play not just by the parties but also their respective counsel.

on the other hand, the divorce process is a very lengthy one and as such you should be prepared both emotionaly and financially.

Things you should consider are
1 Children and their custody (If the marriage is already blessed with one)
2 Property acquired within the marriage
3 Maintenance fee if it arises
4 Alternative Dispute Resolution ( court wil try as much as possible for you both to reconcile before even hearing your divorce petition).
5 The type of marriage you both underwent (Customary/traditional or Statutory marriage or the both).

Other matters will follow when the process is on
foreman:
I am about to get divorced. Just wanted have an idea from people who have experience.

Are there things you wish you did differently?

8 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by SweetCunt97(f): 9:28pm On May 02
Kelvinhunta:
Not when your life is threatened
Do u have kids?
Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by mutter(f): 9:48pm On May 02
Interestingly enough I was having a conversation last week with my ex husband.
I have been remarried cover 23 years.
For the first time he was ready to talk reasonably about where it went wrong.
In retrospect if we were wiser we might have kept the marriage upright because we really did love ourselves.
Despite his atrocities... and they were many, I made effort to keep a good communication and I thank God for that.
It must not always end in scandal and fighting.
Strangely enough we remained good friends.
We advise and encourage one another in difficult times. Z
When a marriage has broken down irretrievably its time to part ways but one should do so in a humane way.

32 Likes 1 Share

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by foreman: 10:21am On May 03
Oizee:
what's your story?

Complicated.
Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by foreman: 10:24am On May 03
Kelvinhunta:
I have passed through it, it's nothing that you can't handle! Marriage is the best option but when life is threatened, divorce is only the wise option. Depending on if you have kids, plans about coparenteing the kids. Babes go de run for u ooo. So think wella

Actually, I am almost done with the process. It's just the kids thing that's remaining for me. Can you shed more light on co-parenting, how does it work? What are the pros and cons of raising kids separately?

2 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by foreman: 10:28am On May 03
evil1:
Let me tell you few things as a lawyer

Divorce is one hell of a process. Even the lawyer handling such matrimonial causes have to be very strong emotionally, if not it might affect him/her emotionally and pschologically. This is because emotions are put into play not just by the parties but also their respective counsel.

on the other hand, the divorce process is a very lengthy one and as such you should be prepared both emotionaly and financially.

Things you should consider are
1 Children and their custody (If the marriage is already blessed with one)
2 Property acquired within the marriage
3 Maintenance fee if it arises
4 Alternative Dispute Resolution ( court wil try as much as possible for you both to reconcile before even hearing your divorce petition).
5 The type of marriage you both underwent (Customary/traditional or Statutory marriage or the both).

Other matters will follow when the process is on

Thanks. I would say my case is not so troublesome. We kind of have mutual understanding on who takes care of what.

I am just trying to decide whether to take some of the children or not because I know I don't have time to take care of them. Yet I need to know the implication of a woman raising kids alone.

3 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by foreman: 10:31am On May 03
mutter:
Interestingly enough I was having a conversation last week with my ex husband.
I have been remarried cover 23 years.
For the first time he was ready to talk reasonably about where it went wrong.
In retrospect if we were wiser we might have kept the marriage upright because we really did love ourselves.
Despite his atrocities... and they were many, I made effort to keep a good communication and I thank God for that.
It must not always end in scandal and fighting.
Strangely enough we remained good friends.
We advise and encourage one another in difficult times. Z
When a marriage has broken down irretrievably its time to part ways but one should do so in a humane way.

23 years wow. How did you guys handle children?
@bolded, why did you say that?

1 Like

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Lovebliss2(f): 10:52am On May 03
woodfrank:


Please can you help me with your divorce lawyer? I am about to get divorced as well.

What's happening?
You guys are making it look like marriage is not it at all.
Why this high rate of divorce?

1 Like

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Oizee(f): 11:00am On May 03
foreman:


Complicated.
too bad, I wish you success cuz divorce is not easy especially when kids are involved

1 Like

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Vision101(m): 12:06pm On May 03
@ahnie
Mba what love came not do...does never ever exist.you must be pay all the bills,love and pamper me and my extended family,sing to me every morning...lace my feet with vanilla and lick.see infact you must worship me.


Provide funds for me to travel see the world every week,shop and visit choice places.
These re all I want ...Deal or no deal?


pls kindly propose to me with a Ferrari.


@me
Then I offer that you take my life because that is the only thing can pay for what you listed.

Are you ready to take my life?
Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by foreman: 1:08pm On May 03
Vision101:
@ahnie
Mba what love came not do...does never ever exist.you must be pay all the bills,love and pamper me and my extended family,sing to me every morning...lace my feet with vanilla and lick.see infact you must worship me.


Provide funds for me to travel see the world every week,shop and visit choice places.
These re all I want ...Deal or no deal?


pls kindly propose to me with a Ferrari.


@me
Then I offer that you take my life because that is the only thing can pay for what you listed.

Are you ready to take my life
?

Is it not better to ask what she brings to the table?

1 Like

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by cococandy(f): 5:40pm On May 03
Don’t separate your kids. Let them live together. At least they’ll get have each other while mourning the loss of married parents.

They can alternate holidays and school seasons with one parent or the other

foreman:


Thanks. I would say my case is not so troublesome. We kind of have mutual understanding on who takes care of what.

I am just trying to decide whether to take some of the children or not because I know I don't have time to take care of them. Yet I need to know the implication of a woman raising kids alone.



15 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Kelvinhunta: 7:26pm On May 03
Yes. 4 beautiful kids
SweetCunt97:
Do u have kids?

1 Like

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Kelvinhunta: 7:34pm On May 03
Depending on what u want for your kids. Depending if she is a good mother. Alot of things r involved even d type of marriage u had has a role to play EG if u did registry wedding it's more difficult that someone who did just traditional wedding. Also d reason of d breakup EG if she is interested in a guy already, she may not be interested in taking d kids as she plans to remarry and have more kids. U taking custody of d kids will restrict ur movements as u can't keep late-night again. Alot of factors. If u get money and she is lazy then she will like to milk u by regularly requesting for children upkeep money and using it on irresponsible lifestyle
foreman:


Actually, I am almost done with the process. It's just the kids thing that's remaining for me. Can you shed more light on co-parenting, how does it work? What are the pros and cons of raising kids separately?

1 Like

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by evil1: 7:36pm On May 03
If you both have an understanding then its settled

On the implication of raising a kid by just one parent affects the child more especially if a female child.
Because of the kind of system we live in, a child raised by a single parent especially from a broken home comes along some emotional and pschological effects.
foreman:


Thanks. I would say my case is not so troublesome. We kind of have mutual understanding on who takes care of what.

I am just trying to decide whether to take some of the children or not because I know I don't have time to take care of them. Yet I need to know the implication of a woman raising kids alone.



3 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by MummyD2020(f): 9:07pm On May 03
SportsHD:
I'm not even married yet but i know I'm getting a divorce.
As a future divorcee, life's good. yunno banging pretty beaches, my kids going to the best school. My ex wife receiving her allowance every month.

It's nice to finally have freedom. grin

Marine beach abi lekki beach? Dem plenty

2 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by foreman: 11:11pm On May 03
Thanks people for your contributions.

My children are girls, very brilliant girls. Apart from their mother being a control freak, I think she is okay to take care of them. The major concern for me is that she seems to be naïve about people around the children. She tried to leave them at a time with one of her siblings to look after them, of course I didn't agree because its a guy, a guy that we drink together sometimes. She allows them go to neighbors house, for extended hours, to play which I have had to intervene in the past. And so many instances that we had serious disagreements. I cannot just imagine my girls left around potential rapists. My wife believes my mind is too dirty. I agree. But I have seen things that makes me suspicious of people and I don't want to take chances, especially with girls. If they were boys, I wouldn't even bother. I grew up on the streets and I believe boys must see ugly side of life.

I am thinking taking them with me and hiring a mature maid will work.

25 Likes 1 Share

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Pacesetter2021: 12:06pm On May 04
foreman:
Thanks people for your contributions.

My children are girls, very brilliant girls. Apart from their mother being a control freak, I think she is okay to take care of them. The major concern for me is that she seems to be naïve about people around the children. She tried to leave them at a time with one of her siblings to look after them, of course I didn't agree because its a guy, a guy that we drink together sometimes. She allows them go to neighbors house, for extended hours, to play which I have had to intervene in the past. And so many instances that we had serious disagreements. I cannot just imagine my girls left around potential rapists. My wife believes my mind is too dirty. I agree. But I have seen things that makes me suspicious of people and I don't want to take chances, especially with girls. If they were boys, I wouldn't even bother. I grew up on the streets and I believe boys must see ugly side of life.

I am thinking taking them with me and hiring a mature maid will work.
if what you said is true, then pls look into this deeply in terms of living arrangement for the girls. My mother was carefree when I was little and I gree up always fighting to protect myself from more molestation. Whatever you do, let the girls not be left in a potentially harmful environment and their mum shldnt be denied access to them. And if you are getting divorced, hope your focus is to raise those girls to the best of your ability and not to get a new wife that will give you a boy..... It most likely will get worse from there, I mean your life and peace.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Abdulquadrimuha(m): 12:33pm On May 04
It seems being single is the way now cos I don't understand this divorce saga this days

3 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by tydi(m): 12:34pm On May 04
Great.. I feel for people in marriage (deception)

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by AgentGoat: 12:35pm On May 04
SportsHD:
I'm not even married yet but i know I'm getting a divorce.
As a future divorcee, life's good. yunno banging pretty beaches, my kids going to the best school. My ex wife receiving her allowance every month.

It's nice to finally have freedom. grin


mumu grin

4 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by femi4: 12:35pm On May 04
foreman:
I am about to get divorced. Just wanted have an idea from people who have experience.

Are there things you wish you did differently?
Go back to your wife. God hates divorce

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by NairaIand: 12:36pm On May 04
The happiness of getting married is inversely proportional to the feeling when getting a divorce.

check my magical designs:
https://www.nairaland.com/4450471/stamped-concrete-4500-flat-per
Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by SavageResponse(m): 12:36pm On May 04
foreman:
I am about to get divorced. Just wanted have an idea from people who have experience.

Are there things you wish you did differently?

Good luck in your decision

1 Like

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by EgunMogaji2: 12:37pm On May 04
foreman:
I am about to get divorced. Just wanted have an idea from people who have experience.

Are there things you wish you did differently?

With children? A little bit rougher but you won’t die.

Without children? Get ready for a new lease on life grin

1 Like

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by babythug(f): 12:38pm On May 04
I’d say be positive.
Don’t be quick to get into another relationship.
Take time to evaluate your old marriage and be honest To yourself regarding your wrongdoings.
If kids are involved be the best parent you can be - funding , spend time where possible
Don’t focus on what your ex did or did not do
Focus on your appearance and health
And yes there will be times you wish you had stuck it out
Cc: foreman

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by godfrey02: 12:40pm On May 04
SanctifiedSista:
Divorced men, go and get back ur woman..u can do it grin


What about the divorced women ?
Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by InvertedHammer: 12:41pm On May 04
foreman:
I am about to get divorced. Just wanted have an idea from people who have experience.

Are there things you wish you did differently?
/
God didn't marry.

Even at 33, Jesus refused to marry.

Satan didn't marry.

Catholic church (oldest christian religion) decided their priests will not marry.

There is something they are not telling us grin grin grin

/

7 Likes

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