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Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Anyone Ever Had An Experience Like This? / Why Do Women Divorcees Still Bear Their Ex Husband's Name After Divorce / Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by mkoabiola: 12:42pm On May 04
SweetCunt97:
Religion isnt a ticket into heaven. I really dont see why anyone would allow it break God's institution of marriage.
U are perfectly right.
Breaking up or about to divorce under d guise of religion.
Till date we stil have couples enjoying thier marriage despite difference in religion

1 Like

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by TheGift: 12:43pm On May 04
We are talking about Divorce oooo. It's a totally different ball game from merely dating.
SanctifiedSista:
am not divorced grin nasty breakup
Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by ezugegere(m): 12:43pm On May 04
I really feel so bad for those kids. They will not find it easy. They're vulnerable and it will get worse as they grow into adolescence without a mother around to guide them, a father that will be too busy to care for them, a nanny that will abuse them and friends that may mislead them.
I think you two are just being too selfish and wicked that you place your own happiness and satisfaction over those innocent children that didn't beg to be born. Whatever you do, I want you to know that you and your estranged wife will be judged if anything bad happen to those children.

16 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Tekzyflex(m): 12:46pm On May 04
Marriage is another living in bondage... My happiness seized since I got married.my only joy is my Son. I just go carry responsibility and liability say nah marriage. Mtchew

17 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Qatar2022: 12:46pm On May 04
Kriss216:

So she will stab him to death?
Don't mind useless idiot, that's why men die early in Africa because we don't leave when we supposed to

2 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by socialmediaman: 12:49pm On May 04
adadike:
i don't like divorce at all and I don't pray to end it suddenly with my future husband
Can you tell us why you want to get divorced, maybe we can help remedy the situation Biko my dear, divorce is not the best

I’d rather focus on his specific request. He didn’t ask for advise to remedy his situation

3 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by seanwilliam(m): 12:49pm On May 04
NairaIand:
The happiness of getting married is inversely proportional to the feeling when getting a divorce.

check my magical designs:
https://www.nairaland.com/4450471/stamped-concrete-4500-flat-per
u go dey get reach 10000 mentions per day o grin

4 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by seanwilliam(m): 12:50pm On May 04
ezugegere:
I really feel so bad for those kids. They will not find it easy. They're vulnerable and it will get worse as they grow into adolescence without a mother around to guide them, a father that will be too busy to care for them, a nanny that will abuse them and friends that may mislead them.
I think you two are just being too selfish and wicked that you place your own happiness and satisfaction over those innocent children that didn't beg to be born. Whatever you do, I want you to know that you and your estranged wife will be judged if anything bad happen to those children.
so they should keep up with toxic relationship cos of their kids

Do u know the cause of the divorce? What if it's life threatening situation.. e dey sweet to type sha

2 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by YelloweWest: 12:51pm On May 04
Richy4:
OP, you won't get much here...I don't know your gender but I guess u are a man.... Just type in "A Men's Divorce Forum"...It will bring out some top forum that you can join online/offline depending on your location.... it's like support group for people going through divorce phase....I saw it by accident some time ago online while looking for something else...I hope u find what you were looking for... wishing u the best..
Type here on nl or Google?
Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by ezugegere(m): 12:53pm On May 04
seanwilliam:
so they should keep up with toxic relationship cos of their kids

Do u know the cause of the divorce? What if it's life threatening situation.. e dey sweet to type sha

Who created the toxic relationship in the first place? Is it not their ego and selfishness?

5 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by YelloweWest: 12:55pm On May 04
evil1:
Let me tell you few things as a lawyer

Divorce is one hell of a process. Even the lawyer handling such matrimonial causes have to be very strong emotionally, if not it might affect him/her emotionally and pschologically. This is because emotions are put into play not just by the parties but also their respective counsel.

on the other hand, the divorce process is a very lengthy one and as such you should be prepared both emotionaly and financially.

Things you should consider are
1 Children and their custody (If the marriage is already blessed with one)
2 Property acquired within the marriage
3 Maintenance fee if it arises
4 Alternative Dispute Resolution ( court wil try as much as possible for you both to reconcile before even hearing your divorce petition).
5 The type of marriage you both underwent (Customary/traditional or Statutory marriage or the both).

Other matters will follow when the process is on
After handling divorce cases, I dumped litigation! Nothing is worth the destruction of my mental well-being.

5 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by socialmediaman: 12:57pm On May 04
ezugegere:


Who created the toxic relationship in the first place? Is it not their ego and selfishness?

He hasn’t even mentioned anything specific about being in a toxic relationship. We don’t even know if it’s his/her spouse who wants the divorce. Why not focus on giving him a reply on what he specifically requested?

2 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by OlawaleBammie(m): 12:57pm On May 04
ahnie:

Mba what love came not do...does never ever exist.you must be pay all the bills,love and pamper me and my extended family,sing to me every morning...lace my feet with vanilla and lick.see infact you must worship me.


Provide funds for me to travel see the world every week,shop and visit choice places.
These re all I want ...Deal or no deal?


pls kindly propose to me with a Ferrari.

I dont tink u can enter hell in peace with this ur mindset, just forget it

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Womanizer(m): 1:01pm On May 04
SanctifiedSista:
am happy you're laughing. U will be fine..just don't stay indoors or fvck random strangers

So you want to tell us you have not fúcked another person since you broke up? grin
Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Shokoloko(f): 1:02pm On May 04
foreman:
I am about to get divorced. Just wanted have an idea from people who have experience.

Are there things you wish you did differently?

One advice, whether you were right about the divorce or you were wrong and acted in haste, you are going to regret it. You are going to cry and feel despair/fear. You might want to call up the person and beg. You might want to call up your family and rant/cry
When that feeling of regret comes (it will come) DO NOT ACT ON IT. Lock yourself up: shout, scream, cry to make yourself feel better.

Do not go looking for a relationship with the OPPOSITE SEX UNTIL ALL THE FEELINGS HAVE COME AND GONE.
I honestly wish you have a support system. it makes it better

IT WILL PASS!!!

5 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by nnamdiosu(m): 1:04pm On May 04
foreman:


I think we have passed that stage dear. Just preparing for the aftermath. I really need people who have passed through the experience.

No stage is passed bro.
Even on final court prouncement, even after the pronouncrmrnt, things can be amended for better.

Nevertheless, it's not the end of the world.
If there are kids (underage): you guys have to work out custody sharing and expenses sharing. You have to let the kids know you all are still a family, just that some people will be leaving apart. That will help till they mature to understand and assimilate. (So it doesn't wreck them.emotionally)

If the kids aren't underage: better. You can move forward

If no kids: it's well.

All I can say is, follow God more these period.
It's gonna really hurt when you see happy couples or families for the first few months.
But time will heal, slowly.

Wish you the very best.
If you or her or both wanna talk, I'm here.

7 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by musicproducer: 1:05pm On May 04
foreman:
I am about to get divorced. Just wanted have an idea from people who have experience.

Are there things you wish you did differently?

u finally slept with ur house girl shey grin

1 Like

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Felabrity: 1:06pm On May 04
seanwilliam:
u go dey get reach 10000 mentions per day o grin
it's not the right spelling

Seun will not allow that
Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Awoleesu(m): 1:06pm On May 04
Hmmm, now this is something!

Dear OP, if I get you right you want someone to share their divorce experience, how they managed the change in marital status and how they moved on right?

So, let me try...

First, you have to be double sure this is what you want. You must be able to assure yourself that you'll be fine without your partner, and that whatever becomes of him/her matters less to you - let that sink!

Then, you should brace up to adapting to new roles or learning new skills. For example, if you absolutely relied on her for doing the meals, keeping the house etc, that's about to change and you may have to carry these on yourself.

You also need to learn to work on your emotions. cos, trust me, post-divorcement brings a great deal of emotional upsets and imbalances. You must be ready to take jeers, insults and non verbal expressions that insinuate you're an outcast. You must watch it not to take it out on anyone (including yourself) and you must be prepared for the frustrations that come with loneliness (of course, except if you have a new partner in the wait...BTW, I hope this has nothing to do with that house girl you suckled back then grin)

Having said all these, a couple of advise is handy :

* Subscribe to one or more social groups of Divorcées (they abound online)

* Calm down and be deliberate and calculative about your next moves... you don't want a bad history repeated ain't?

* Watch your libido! it's the easiest temptation for formerly married persons. Widowhood or divorcement is no license to indiscriminate sexual activities! Save your time, money and soul!

* Be introspective! Now is the time to reflect on how you lived with your Ex. Time to right your own faults and grow beyond dwelling on the faults of the other party.

* Be kind, friendly (without being suggestive) to your Ex should your paths ever cross after the divorce - There's no point bearing grudges. After all we are often kind to strangers...

* If you have kids between you, do your best to remain an excellent Dad/Mom. Impart in them the need to be optimistic about marriage, not withstanding your own experience. Let them know that marital relationships do still thrive! They really don't need to tow your path.

Please note that parting with a loved one is as sore as being bereaved. If you must do this, then Man up!

All the best!

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by ikevictor: 1:11pm On May 04
See your wife as your daughter, you’ll begin to forgive more.

3 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Nobody: 1:12pm On May 04
You Will Either Regret Not Leaving The Marriage Sooner Or Not Trying Harder To Make It Work...Either Ways,Marriage Is No Longer A Priority,That Is Why We Are Still Asking And "Curious"To Know What" She Is Bringing To The Table".
Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by princewarri1985: 1:16pm On May 04
Divorce means freedom from prison, so that you try other soups because you have been eating only egusi soup for ages and you need to try other soup like okro, ogbola and afam soup and edikang ikong soup...... Coming back home everyday to find things in the same exact positions you left them...... The only disadvantage is always coming back to your kids running after you to great and hug you.....thats only if your ex wife was granted custody of the kids, because kids makes every home lively, but believe me, with time you are going to get over it

1 Like

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by hustla(m): 1:17pm On May 04
This one sensible threads have been making NL FP

We thank God o

3 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by ikevictor: 1:18pm On May 04
If children are involved, it’s not a good option especially if issues involved can be resolved in other ways.

But if there are no children, you can go ahead. But be sure of one thing. After the divorce you will move on to another woman eventually. Then you will realize that most women are same, you just have to learn them and theres a possibility the one you divorced will be better than the new one, just that you may not have applied the right solution.

And when you encounter issues with the second one, you can no longer complain else people will say that the problem is obvious you not the women. That’s when you’re forced to endure, then die silently.

So, separation is not always the end of a problem, sometimes it’s the beginning of an endless heartache.

I wish you well brother.

13 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by stevonth: 1:20pm On May 04
My brother me too oooo! i really do not know what to do and how to get her back!! i even knelt down in front of her kinsmen to beg her to change her mind but she still said no. It broke my heart. and we have been blessed with two kids( a boy and a girl). I am not a product of a broken home and i dont want my kids to experience this broken home shit!!! But the matter is no longer upto me cos i really want us to work things out for the sake of our kids but she doesnt want to anymore! Hmmmm!!! i really tire i swear


foreman:
I am about to get divorced. Just wanted have an idea from people who have experience.

Are there things you wish you did differently?

6 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by seanwilliam(m): 1:20pm On May 04
ezugegere:


Who created the toxic relationship in the first place? Is it not their ego and selfishness?
going by this point , then you're right and intelligent..

6 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by komodapson(m): 1:21pm On May 04
SweetCunt97:
The bible said the only excusable reason for divorce is Adultery. Cant you guys visit a marriage counselor?

dey deceive yourself there. how about verbal abuse and domestic violence.
Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by komodapson(m): 1:21pm On May 04
SweetCunt97:
The bible said the only excusable reason for divorce is Adultery. Cant you guys visit a marriage counselor?

dey deceive yourself there. how about verbal abuse and domestic violence?
Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by litigator(m): 1:25pm On May 04
A wedding is easy, but marriage is not.

As a family lawyer, a student counsellor and a married man, it's not always easy to practice what you preach. But despite this, I will always advise divorce as a last resort. I prefer judicial separation.

The heart gets fonder with time and you are bound to miss each other's craziness, this will spark some hope of reconciliation, no matter how little that spark might be.

Divorce could be messy and there is no easy way to move on as a divorcee.

One bad thing about divorce is the fact that you will always use him/her as a standard in your new relationships, and this will be the genesis of many failed relationship.

Another thing is the fact that it might take a while for you to adjust to this new way of life.

I remember after some cases, the client will always call to hang out and visit the office with an excuse of having sessions they didn't need. I guess they just need someone to talk to.

Some take to beer and whoredom, while others simply bury themselves in workload. Working 12-20 hours, 7 days a week.

Let's not talk about the need to start cooking your food. As for the kids, it could change them forever.

7 Likes

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Maski87: 1:26pm On May 04
It's the best life still banging my ex wife and my new wife

1 Like

Re: Divorcees, What's Your Experience Like? by Billionsclub: 1:26pm On May 04
SportsHD:
I'm not even married yet but i know I'm getting a divorce.
As a future divorcee, life's good. yunno banging pretty beaches, my kids going to the best school. My ex wife receiving her allowance every month.

It's nice to finally have freedom. grin
is it the kind of life u want to live for yourself. it is better to keep mute than to say a negative word. I won't be surprised is it is a teenager or someone in his early 20s that is writing this

1 Like

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