rita25:
yes i stand by what i said such mothers end up controlling their sons marriage.she should back off....she can advice but not insist

Where did you see, the O P's mother insisting, she just gave an advice to her son not to waste resources on a wedding and go broke after and you said she is controlling him, I tire your for your reasoning capacity... I pray make your future in law do same to your child..
I believe you are a baby mama or will be one with these your thinking capacity, I don't think you can stay in a husband's house, if things are not the same again...

Biglittlelois:
Your mistake is, you shouldn't have told her your mum suggested it, you would have said that it was your idea, you should have brought up the topic in a way that will make her see reasons why it is logical to cut cost, instead of calling her on phone saying bla bla your mum bla bla, and i can imagine you saying it in a bossy way sef, it is her wedding as she said, as it is yours too, make her feel like she's in charge but you're the one controlling things on the side, very simple

Most times it is you men that majorly cause unnecessary animosity between your mother and wives, you guys don't know how to present a case smoothly without bringing up issues.

Op no follow this advice ohhhhh, op gat nothing to prove to the lady, do u know what sacrifice the mum made on op, abeg waiting women know self

brownemmanuel43:

Op no follow this advice ohhhhh, op gat nothing to prove to the lady, do u know what sacrifice the mum made on op, abeg waiting women know self

Since she made sacrifices, he should marry her abi. Didn't the lady's mother also make sacrifices for her? We don't see ladies always shouting about the sacrifices their mothers made because they are women and know manipulation when they see it. It's easier for the mothers to use this narrative and manipulate their sons.

ImaIma1:


Since she made sacrifices, he should marry her abi. Didn't the lady's mother also make sacrifices for her? We don't see ladies always shouting about the sacrifices their mothers made because they are women and know manipulation when they see it. It's easier for the mothers to use this narrative and manipulate their sons.

Well I'm still not surprised that a woman is replying me and sounding this way.
The said lady is not bringing anything, every godamn thing is on the guy man yet she is feeling on top of the moon
Well na SIMPs that tolerates such rubbish and nonsense from girls like that not my type

Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.

I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.

What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?

She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)

I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.

She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.

It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now

Pls advice accordingly. Thanks

Bro in these simple words ""YOU'RE FINISHED!!!""

You're definitely going to suffer if you ever continue with this marriage!!! My brother it's not too late to call it off!!! Someone who's waiting for service and isn't contributing shishi wants to make only VERBAL contribution in the marriage and not FINANCIAL contribution wants it to be a TALK OF THE TOWN WEDDING!!! bro for goodness sake you no see any working class girl to marry You no see any girl wey say "" Sweet heart don't worry about this marriage funds you want to spend , just go and see my parents and I'm ok" you no see babe wey say "" Babe lets join both wedding together so as to reduce cost cos the marriage starts after the wedding" you no see babe like that Why on earth we men like to dey suffer

Bro go and watch JUSTICE COURT TV on YouTube and see how finance has brought so called I love you I love you marriage to crisis!!! Bro you don dey call hardship into your life!!! I take GOD BEG YOU CALL OFF THIS WEDDING!!! there are so many babes out there who are reasonable and supportive this one isn't supportive at all!!! Baba you are heading towards destruction!!!. Okay since she wants that type of wedding is it a crime if she says ""Okay baby this is the type of wedding and don't worry about the TP I'll handle the transportation of the guest from the South East to the west and also handle their lodging"" Baba na crime? And this kind babe after wedding when money no dey she go dey shout telling you you're the man and you must provide for her!!!

BRO CALL OF THIS WEDDING NOW!!! DONT SAY J DIDNT WARN YOU!!!

fatymore:
Use that 500k/600k do cryp.to you go dey happy.

During the planning of my wedding,

We both discussed everything before telling anyone.

I contributed but he did the most. Where we have clashes I let his own prevail.

If I get your address I would kidnap you , Clone you , and marry your clone!!! You're AMAZING!!!

lordally:


If I get your address I would kidnap you , Clone you , and marry your clone!!! You're AMAZING!!!

I have a twin sister

brownemmanuel43:

Well I'm still not surprised that a woman is replying me and sounding this way.
The said lady is not bringing anything, every godamn thing is on the guy man yet she is feeling on top of the moon
Well na SIMPs that tolerates such rubbish and nonsense from girls like that not my type

Didn't he know she wasn't bringing anything before? Why didn't he date her knowing she's not bringing anything? Why is it an issue now?

fatymore:



I have a twin sister

Does she have same mindset as you And how old?

Jirehz:


My cousin had exactly same issues with his now wife 2 years ago
Girl wey no dey bring any kind of financial support to the wedding oo

My bro just called her 2 days after the argument and told her to put the phone on loudspeaker and give her mom the phone.

“Mama I’ll be coming with with my elder brother to apologize for all inconsistencies. I no longer want to proceed with the wedding. I no get money!”

Nah there area scatter
Nah she come dey beg las las
She turn to Yes sir Yes sir girl till wedding and trad finish

God go bless this your elder bro.... He really knows how to trap the shit out............ LMAO!

Biglittlelois:
Your mistake is, you shouldn't have told her your mum suggested it, you would have said that it was your idea, you should have brought up the topic in a way that will make her see reasons why it is logical to cut cost, instead of calling her on phone saying bla bla your mum bla bla, and i can imagine you saying it in a bossy way sef, it is her wedding as she said, as it is yours too, make her feel like she's in charge but you're the one controlling things on the side, very simple

Most times it is you men that majorly cause unnecessary animosity between your mother and wives, you guys don't know how to present a case smoothly without bringing up issues.

Well said

ImaIma1:


Since she made sacrifices, he should marry her abi. Didn't the lady's mother also make sacrifices for her? We don't see ladies always shouting about the sacrifices their mothers made because they are women and know manipulation when they see it. It's easier for the mothers to use this narrative and manipulate their sons.

You just de talk yama yama...
What if the guy’s father gave the advice/suggestions?
Suggestion don turn manipulation.
Abeg if the girl cant go by that, get your own beother to marry her

Why una like wahala?

ImaIma1:


Didn't he know she wasn't bringing anything before? Why didn't he date her knowing she's not bringing anything? Why is it an issue now?

When you dey comment, think about if the guy is your brother. No just de mis yarn

philfrey08:


You just de talk yama yama...
What if the guy’s father gave the advice/suggestions?
Suggestion don turn manipulation.
Abeg if the girl cant go by that, get your own beother to marry her

Why una like wahala?

It's not yama yama talk. It's based on experience. Marriage should be threaded with care. It is not simply an extension of bf/gf relationship. Decisions should be between the couple and they should know how they present outside suggestions.

philfrey08:


When you dey comment, think about if the guy is your brother. No just de mis yarn

That's why I said earlier that if they are not the same page, he should start re-considering.

And if my brother is in anyway acting like a mummy's boy, he would have been cleared. Besides, my mum was never the type to interfere. She preferred you make your decision so that you can live with it.

Carchoice:
Did She pay the bride price with her own money?

Either way it turns out, one of you will be angry on the wedding day.

It's usually the person who spent all the money that will be angry on the wedding day

Jirehz:


My cousin had exactly same issues with his now wife 2 years ago
Girl wey no dey bring any kind of financial support to the wedding oo

My bro just called her 2 days after the argument and told her to put the phone on loudspeaker and give her mom the phone.

“Mama I’ll be coming with with my elder brother to apologize for all inconsistencies. I no longer want to proceed with the wedding. I no get money!”

Nah there area scatter
Nah she come dey beg las las
She turn to Yes sir Yes sir girl till wedding and trad finish

Your bro is a real machiavelian. Kudos to the nigga

ImaIma1:


That's why I said earlier that if they are not the same page, he should start re-considering.

And if my brother is in anyway acting like a mummy's boy, he would have been cleared. Besides, my mum was never the type to interfere. She preferred you make your decision so that you can live with it.

I really don’t see how a suggestion will make one a mummy’s boy.

So what if his dad suggested it?
Would there be an issue?