Seeing that the club is now up and moving again. . . I'll still place my orders as usual. .
A bottle of hennessy and two sticks of suya. . . No onions please, i'm allergic.

Bro, everything is free today plus I'm celebrating the birthday of my only sister Natasha. That damsel means a lot to me anyways. Next reason is that as we've re-engineered Jokes Section Posts to count(which doesn't count when I registered),

*merriment mode activated*

*goes to the fridge and grabs a bottle of suya and a plate of Hennessey! *

*serves him the combo*

should I bring straw to drink your Hennessey too?

*catwalks into the bar* *takes a seat* please barman, i need a mix up of maltina and fayrouz with emm emm emm fried chicken. Thank you.

Jacky, do you serve suya in bottles and hennessy in plates?
Thought twas the other way round.
Well, *takes a seat, munches the suya, gulping down the hennessy* got a massage room? My nerves are shrieking!

Agybabe:

*catwalks into the bar* *takes a seat* please barman, i need a mix up of maltina and fayrouz with emm emm emm fried chicken. Thank you.

Barman, put her order for my bill I go pay but. . .

Agybabe:

*catwalks into the bar* *takes a seat*

*watches those swinging swaggaliciouz hips*
*thinks out loudly: she can be a good bar-tender, sure guys gonna go gaga. . .dey're trippin already *

nne, do you mind if you fill our vacancies as a bar-tender. We pay times 3 what our rivals pays including some fringe benefits like weavon allowance, chewing-gum allowance, lip-stick allowance. .all tax-free. .

please barman, i need a mix up of maltina and fayrouz with emm emm emm fried chicken. Thank you.

33cl or 50cl?

*goes up to Agybabe and presents her temporary appointment paper letter to be confirmed within 24hrs*
woooh, we've got a Miss World as our new receptionist/bar-diva. Check out those cute profile pix.

kokoA:

Barman, put her order for my bill I go pay but. . .

don't worry. .today is free for all.

moshoodn:

Jacky, do you serve suya in bottles and hennessy in plates?
Thought twas the other way round.
Well, *takes a seat, munches the suya, gulping down the hennessy* got a massage room? My nerves are shrieking!

yes oh. . .to be available soon though
we promise to do justice to those fractured nerves

kokoA:

Barman, put her order for my bill I go pay but. . .

but what, conditional samaritan?

jackpot:

*watches those swinging swaggaliciouz hips*
*thinks out loudly: she can be a good bar-tender, sure guys gonna go gaga. . .dey're trippin already *

nne, do you mind if you fill our vacancies as a bar-tender. We pay times 3 what our rivals pays including some fringe benefits like weavon allowance, chewing-gum allowance, lip-stick allowance. .all tax-free. .
33cl or 50cl?

alright offer accepted but i need a personal business car and a well furnished flat. Hope you have breaks too?

As for the drinks 33cl each.

jackpot:

*goes up to Agybabe and presents her temporary appointment paper letter to be confirmed within 24hrs*
woooh, we've got a Miss World as our new receptionist/bar-diva. Check out those cute profile pix.

my order please. Anyway, when should i start?

* attempting to fart, but spots Agybel, holds on to fart 4 another time! *


u r lucky this time, thank agybel!

The Gambler

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."

The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."

The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender.

"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.

The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"

"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy.

"Like what?" asked the bartender.

"Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.

The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.

So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.

The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

"Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender.

"That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.

With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."

The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said.

The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.

The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!"

The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!"

iotama22:

The Gambler

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."

The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."

The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender.

"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.

The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"

"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy.

"Like what?" asked the bartender.

"Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.

The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.

So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.

The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

"Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender.

"That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.

With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."

The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said.

The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.

The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!"

The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!"

wat is the sense in u posting this passage?



"pnuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuh"

Agybabe:

alright offer accepted but i need a personal business car and a well furnished flat. Hope you have breaks too?

*thinking. . .to minimize cost, what if I kill two birds with a stone by proposing to her so she can use my volkswagen beetle car as an official business car and my bungalow house as the furnished flat*

ok, there you go. . .flat and car is on its way. . .and yes you have breakfast. . .i guess it's also a type of break as you requested

As for the drinks 33cl each.my order please.

ok, 33cl it is. chilled or warm? ok, you can serve yourself anytime now since you're now a bar-t.

Anyway, when should i start?

you've started.
*goes over to the public address system* *coughs lightly*

Hello house, in a resolve to serve you better, i'm introducing the newly employed receptionist c.u.m bar-tender Agybabe.

, just waking up from sleep after a night vigil in a cele church close to General Tompolo's house
strolls into the bar still with my pyjamas
Barman, i need a short of whisky + Fried meat, preferably[b] fried Python [/b]

sits down, takes a sip of the whisky - my nokia 3310 with bluetooth ,opera mini and QWERTY keyboard rings

hold on , its Baba Suwe calling me,
pls let me answer him, i think he has a confession to tell me, hold on

jackpot:

*thinking. . .to minimize cost, what if I kill two birds with a stone by proposing to her so she can use my volkswagen beetle car as an official business car and my bungalow house as the furnished flat*

i will managed that

ok, there you go. . .flat and car is on its way. . .and yes you have breakfast. . .i guess it's also a type of break as you requested :Dok, 33cl it is. chilled or warm? ok, you can serve yourself anytime now since you're now a bar-t. you've started.

thanks

*goes over to the public address system* *coughs lightly*

Hello house, in a resolve to serve you better, i'm introducing the newly employed receptionist c.u.m bar-tender Agybabe.

thank you very much. Our dear customers, i solicite for your utmost co-operation as we do our best to serve you better. I am sure you will enjoy this bar. Merci.

cool318:

, just waking up from sleep after a night vigil in a cele church close to  General Tompolo's house
strolls into the bar still with my pyjamas
Barman, i need a short of whisky + Fried meat, preferably[b] fried  Python [/b]

sits down, takes a sip of the whisky - my nokia 3310 with bluetooth ,opera mini and QWERTY  keyboard rings

hold on , its Baba Suwe calling me,
pls let me answer him, i think he has a confession to tell me,  hold on

i think you need a sleep after that vigil sir.

^Madam al dis ur stunts to revive thread no make am at al , ur ogas don try it no go gree reverse so abeg posting fullstops and coma go beta

I wud surely find dat funny and entertaining u hear

^^

.

^now dats hilarious

hahahahhahaha

,

Dani moi 

Abeg now - do us all a favor 'n lock this hell-hole of a thread!

This place dey kill off healthy brain cells

Biko now 

El Guapo:

I almost Kissed the Door, thought it was Efemena! **Chei the Power Of Palmy**

El you well so? So I resemble door for your eye?

abeg go Spec Savers - dem dey do BOGOFF (Buy One Get One Free) deals. . .

Efemena_xy:

Dani moi 

you think he'll fall for your fake kiss? Lie lie. Even if you want open your flea-infested maggotified puhssie, it won't work.

Abeg now - do us all a favor 'n lock this hell-hole of a thread!

This place dey kill off healthy brain cells

Biko now 

you have been defeated time without numbers. A poll was raised to that effect and you were put to big shame. Better go back to your graves, you never-do-well sick mal-fed arse-licking ghosts. Mtchew

h-uncle Bernard, sup?

Emperoh:

Garri and milk with sugar mixed with Palmy!!!

buy panadol extra first so you can effectively manage the after-effects of consuming the mixture.

Idowuogbo:

^Madam al dis your stunts to revive thread no make am at al , your ogas don try it no go gree reverse so abeg posting fullstops and coma go beta

I wud surely find dat funny and entertaining u hear

madam i think you need a cool drink after a hard day

Efemena_xy:

Dani moi 

Abeg now - do us all a favor 'n lock this hell-hole of a thread!

This place dey kill off healthy brain cells

Biko now 

you mean to say dull brain cells. If you think this thread is boring, stop coming, i promise i won't ask you why.

^ok u wan make we run joke madam , oya nau

i looked @ ur dp biko na marker u take draw ur eye brow

remember na joke we dey run oo

Agybabe:

you mean to say dull brain cells. If you think this thread is boring, stop coming, i promise i won't ask you why.

Chineke did u jus call my efe a dull brain 

Now d joke have started dis thread go sweet

U go hear am village gal ,anoda question ororo gon don finish for your village see your lips 

jackpot:

you think he'll fall for your fake kiss? Lie lie. Even if you want open your flea-infested maggotified puhssie, it won't work. you have been defeated time without numbers.

Na your ashi of a wife boyfriend you just describe so.

Berra go see Doc make dem cure you of your claps. You be health risk to society. . .

A poll was raised to that effect and you were put to big shame. Better go back to your graves, you never-do-well sick mal-fed arse-licking ghosts. Mtchew

Oh puleeeeeezzzz!! Just shut up jor!

If to say I see the poll, not only I for vote against you, I for also  carry people come vote against you too

then and only then the fun go begin

**Bushmeat**

Idowuogbo:

^ok u wan make we run joke madam , oya nau

i looked @ your dp biko na marker u take draw your eye brow

remember na joke we dey run oo

haba sis, no be the same marker wey you use na im me too use, abi you don forget the time you draw am for your face?

Idowuogbo:

Chineke did u jus call my efe a dull brain 

Now d joke have started dis thread go sweet

U go hear am village gal ,anoda question ororo gon don finish for your village see your lips 

see the way you dey embarrass your village, so na ororo una dey use? I use lip gloss, wondering if your village will eva get advance to know what that is called. Kai! I weep for you ooo.