I've finally made up my mind to get married.
Please forgive any errors in my post.

I created this account to remain anonymous
I am a man of 38 yrs.
I decided long ago not to ever get married due to very unpleasant experiences I've had with women.
I've had reasons to rethink my decision lately.
I have 3 women/girls am considering for marriage, they all have their strengths and weaknesses.
As I will list below.

1.
Janet: This woman is 39 yrs old, a year older than me. We had a very troublesome relationship that lasted for 17 yrs and produced 2 kids; boys.
This woman have done things to me that few people will ever experience in their lifetime.
She once locked up my mum in the police cell when I was not around.
She brought her boyfriend when she was pregnant and introduced me as her brother.
She has taken me to social welfare office and gave false allegations against me.
She has accused me of trying to use our kids for money rituals.
She has accused me of attempting to rape our house maid which she knows was false.
She has gone round the neighborhood telling anyone that cares to listen that am Hiv positive even when she knows it to be false.
No evil known to man that she has not done to me and my family. I pay all the bills, takes care of her, she's unemployed and very religious.
I still consider her for marriage for the sake of my boys I don't want them to grow up in a broken home. We have been apart for 3 yrs now.
Also, at 39 with 2 boys and loads of trouble it will almost be impossible for her to get married to any man.

2.
Cynthia
She's 26 yrs old and a single mother,(she gave birth at 17 with her 1st boyfriend) I met her after I stopped cohabiting with Janet and got a new apartment. She's what many will call a high class lady, she clubs,she dresses to kill, she drinks and we smoke together, she's the one that even taught me how to roll properly
Despite all these, she has a very good character and personality better than most girls who doesn't do what she does.I've met quite a few.
She doesn't hide who she is.
She's a very good cook, she cleans and she's very neat.

This lady is also special cos I've come to understand that things fall into place whenever she's around me, I've never lost any business opportunity or favour whenever she's with me. Whenever I tell her of challenges am facing, she will tell me that as long as she's with me that I will never fail to achieve whatever I want and this have always been the case. 3 times I brokeup with her just to test if she being around me have anything to do with the good fortune or if it's a mere coincidence. Things started crumbling around me. Clients no longer takes my calls, some of my contracts were terminated for no good reasons, clients will refuse to pay me for no reason.
Everything will come back to normal immediately we reconciled.(this mystery about her is beyond logic)
I am considering her for marriage for her personality, the good fortune she brings to my life and business.

3.
Queen

Queen is a 20 yr old girl that is very beautiful and a virgin.
She loves me so much.
she even told her mum about me.
She's yet to gain admission into the university. Her parents have agreed that we should go ahead with marriage on the condition that she will graduate before coming to stay with me as wife.
Her mum is optimistic that we will make a good couple, she told me to come with my people cos other suitors are coming for her daughter' s hand in marriage and she will prefer her daughter marries me.
Somehow, I am not comfortable with her cos of our age difference; I am 18 yrs older than her. Girls of her age are known to change or become promiscuous when they get into the university.
I am considering her for marriage because of her beauty, her love for me,her smartness her parents support to the our union.

There you have it guys, which of these women/girls do you think I should get married to?

Your wahala too much abeg

Caprisonne

You still have a long way to go Sir

You can't tell me your love for them is equall. There will be one amongst them that you love most. That number one is totally out of it.

Is it that at 38 you don't know the one that is best for you?
..
Is it until u reach 40?... Remember what they say about a f**l at 40...May it not be ur portion.

.

Thugnificent:
Your wahala too much abeg

... Kai wickedness

Crossalpha:
I've finally made up my mind to get married.
Please forgive any errors in my post.

I created this account to remain anonymous
I am a man of 38 yrs.
I decided long ago not to ever get married due to very unpleasant experiences I've had with women.
I've had reasons to rethink my decision lately.
I have 3 women/girls am considering for marriage, they all have their strengths and weaknesses.
As I will list below.

1.
Janet: This woman is 39 yrs old, a year older than me. We had a very troublesome relationship that lasted for 17 yrs and produced 2 kids; boys.
This woman have done things to me that few people will ever experience in their lifetime.
She once locked up my mum in the police cell when I was not around.
She brought her boyfriend when she was pregnant and introduced me as her brother.
She has taken me to social welfare office and gave false allegations against me.
She has accused me of trying to use our kids for money rituals.
She has accused me of attempting to rape our house maid which she knows was false.
She has gone round the neighborhood telling anyone that cares to listen that am Hiv positive even when she knows it to be false.
No evil known to man that she has not done to me and my family. I pay all the bills, takes care of her, she's unemployed and very religious.
I still consider her for marriage for the sake of my boys I don't want them to grow up in a broken home. We have been apart for 3 yrs now.
Also, at 39 with 2 boys and loads of trouble it will almost be impossible for her to get married to any man.

2.
Cynthia
She's 26 yrs old and a single mother,(she gave birth at 17 with her 1st boyfriend) I met her after I stopped cohabiting with Janet and got a new apartment. She's what many will call a high class lady, she clubs,she dresses to kill, she drinks and we smoke together, she's the one that even taught me how to roll properly
Despite all these, she has a very good character and personality better than most girls who doesn't do what she does.I've met quite a few.
She doesn't hide who she is.
She's a very good cook, she cleans and she's very neat.

This lady is also special cos I've come to understand that things fall into place whenever she's around me, I've never lost any business opportunity or favour whenever she's with me. Whenever I tell her of challenges am facing, she will tell me that as long as she's with me that I will never fail to achieve whatever I want and this have always been the case. 3 times I brokeup with her just to test if she being around me have anything to do with the good fortune or if it's a mere coincidence. Things started crumbling around me. Clients no longer takes my calls, some of my contracts were terminated for no good reasons, clients will refuse to pay me for no reason.
Everything will come back to normal immediately we reconciled.(this mystery about her is beyond logic)
I am considering her for marriage for her personality, the good fortune she brings to my life and business.

3.
Queen

Queen is a 20 yr old girl that is very beautiful and a virgin.
She loves me so much.
she even told her mum about me.
She's yet to gain admission into the university. Her parents have agreed that we should go ahead with marriage on the condition that she will graduate before coming to stay with me as wife.
Her mum is optimistic that we will make a good couple, she told me to come with my people cos other suitors are coming for her daughter' s hand in marriage and she will prefer her daughter marries me.
Somehow, I am not comfortable with her cos of our age difference; I am 18 yrs older than her. Girls of her age are known to change or become promiscuous when they get into the university.
I am considering her for marriage because of her beauty, her love for me,her smartness her parents support to the our union.

There you have it guys, which of these women/girls do you think I should get married to?

Look for the one that brings you peace

I guess the second option is the best for you man.

Forget about the mother if your children. That old woman won’t change

I won’t also advice you go for that last girl wey just wan enter university. You and I know the kind of stuff that happened over there with these teenage girls once they got admitted into varsity.

Anyway, check my Bio if you’ve got any Bitcoin or gift card to trade. Trusted and reliable

The present day Nigeria now is all about survival and how to survive, sadly the word "Love" sounds strange to Nigerians.

The second lady according to you seems to bring balance to your life and business.
It will be a huge bonus if she gives you maximum respect too.

Like I said earlier, the present day Nigeria is all about survival, Nobody wants a "Liability".

.

you are soon 40 and still cant make up your mind on such an important issue....?! you aint ready then, free the babes from their misery!

MrBrownJay1:
you are soon 40 and still cant make up your mind on such an important issue....?! you aint ready then, free the babes from their misery!

swears

Well, believe it or not that lady called Cynthia is the real deal...from everything you've explained about her she's your best bet. Do you know why?

Her qualities matches your kind of wife you're looking for, that's why this video below explains the uniqueness about the kind of ladies we take interest in..

Click the link and watch this YouTube video you'd understand what I'm talking about

-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMhEsJc8W6o

Why don’t you marry the 3, saves you the stress of picking

Go for Cynthia, you already know her weaknesses! Please, need just four things in life, which are: sex, progress, good food, and peace; Cynthia is giving all three.

Janet is bad news you will get no peace and will meet your untimely death. I understand your needs to be close to your two boys. The truth is, you wouldn’t be able to offer them any value because Janet will ensure you are miserable and peaceless.

Queen is the perfect example of ‘not all that glitters is gold’. She has not explore life, she is still a mystery yet unraveled. Once unraveled, you might be in for a shock or something average or specular, but at close to 40 years old, any shock might send you to your untimely grave. Plus, she is not yet in the Univeristy even, by the time she has spent five years on campus plus ASUU strike plus NYSC, bros she would have opened her eyes and might start questioning what bewitched her to fall in ‘love’ with an almost 50 yrs old man, as you will be close to 50 yrs by the time she finish serving….let Queen go!

Cynthia Is the real deal, there are no perfect women or men out there……even if you are able to find the perfect one, you will be too imperfect for them!

Cross alpha
Someone locked your mother up and you are still considering her because of one flimsy sentimental reason? Na wa o. You should be planning on how to effectively avoid her wahala for life, before she causes you more grief.

Also let me guarantee you, that your “virgin” babe will leave you as soon as she gets her degree. You have heard similar cases, but you still want to fall for that trap? Why do you think your case will be different? Her mother will tell you off when the time comes. After you’re done investing in her daughter, she will ship her off to another man.

Don’t play yourself.

AkatConcept:
I guess the second option is the best for you man.

Forget about the mother if your children. That old woman won’t change

I won’t also advice you go for that last girl wey just wan enter university. You and I know the kind of stuff that happened over there with these teenage girls once they got admitted into varsity.

Anyway, check my Bio if you’ve got any Bitcoin or gift card to trade. Trusted and reliable

Ok, thanks man.

DaddyRochie1642:
The present day Nigeria now is all about survival and how to survive, sadly the word "Love" sounds strange to Nigerians.

The second lady according to you seems to bring balance to your life and business.
It will be a huge bonus if she gives you maximum respect too.

Like I said earlier, the present day Nigeria is all about survival, Nobody wants a "Liability".

Yea she's peaceful and respects me too.
Thanks

linearity:
Go for Cynthia, you already know her weaknesses! Please, need just four things in life, which are: sex, progress, good food, and peace; Cynthia is giving all three.

Janet is bad news you will get no peace and will meet your untimely death. I understand your needs to be close to your two boys. The truth is, you wouldn’t be able to offer them any value because Janet will ensure you are miserable and peaceless.

Queen is the perfect example of ‘not all that glitters is gold’. She has not explore life, she is still a mystery yet unraveled. Once unraveled, you might be in for a shock or something average or specular, but at close to 40 years old, any shock might send you to your untimely grave. Plus, she is not yet in the Univeristy even, by the time she has spent five years on campus plus ASUU strike plus NYSC, bros she would have opened her eyes and might start questioning what bewitched her to fall in ‘love’ with an almost 50 yrs old man, as you will be close to 50 yrs by the time she finish serving….let Queen go!

Cynthia Is the real deal, there are no perfect women or men out there……even if you are able to find the perfect one, you will be too imperfect for them!

Thanks, I also have that thought about Queen but she's always giving me the assurance that she won't disappoint me.

Janet somehow has the support of my married younger sister out of everyone in the family.(even our kids prefers to spend time with me than with her)
My sister will always tell me that it will be wickedness for me to abandon a woman that put 17 yrs of her life with me in a relationship and marry another.

Why did Janet lock your mother up?
I won't be sentimental here, what did your mother did to warrant her being locked up? Was she been threatened by your mom? You go habited with a woman 4 17 years and apart from 2 boys there's no commitment from you, so what are the reasons?You are expecting a baby mama that has cohabited with you for 17 years without marriage to be mentally and emotionally stable?An unordained marriage with no traditional or legal backing? The type we call 'Abuja marriage' here? You're not the 'crown' on her head, so do not expect to be honored.
. The lady in question is very silly for birthing for a man twice out of wedlock. Both of you are not brought up by good parents.

My mom will never allow my brothers to have a child out of wedlock (They know better, you give girl Belle, you marry am even if she be winch. Those are the rules) and in turn me no fit born for man wey never marry me talk more living with him, so I go to condom section and refill my purse as well if I must _sex.

You don't live your lives unplanned without caution. An unexamined life ain't worth living. You and your baby mama should reconcile, you both are Morally depraved and should be together.

LadyRosa:
Why did Janet lock your mother up?
I won't be sentimental here, what did your mother did to warrant her being locked up? Was she been threatened by your mom? You go habited with a woman 4 17 years and apart from 2 boys there's no commitment from you, so what are the reasons?You are expecting a baby mama that has cohabited with you for 17 years without marriage to be mentally and emotionally stable?An unordained marriage with no traditional or legal backing? The type we call 'Abuja marriage' here? You're not the 'crown' on her head, so do not expect to be honored.
. The lady in question is very silly for birthing for a man twice out of wedlock. Both families are not brought up by good parents.

My mom will never allow my brothers to have a child out of wedlock (They know better, you give girl Belle, you marry am even if she be winch. Those are the rules) and in turn me no fit born for man wey never marry me talk more living with him, so I go to condom section and refill my purse as well if I must _sex.

You don't live your lives unplanned without caution. An unexamined life ain't worth living. You and your baby mama should reconcile, you both are Morally depraved and should be together.

I didn't want to go into giving full details so that my post will not be too long.
Let me try to answer your questions .

1. Why she locked up my mum.[/b]We had an occasion that brought many of our relatives to our family house, the house was filled and people were still coming.
My own house is also in the same vicinity, my mum asked one of my aunt to go and stay in my house since there was no more space in our family house.
When my aunt got there Janet refused to let her into my house. After much explaination and pleading my aunt called my mum and told her what happened. My mum got to the house and scolded her for her behaviour, she insulted my mum and my aunt lost it and hell was let loose.
Janet went to the police, my mum and aunt was arrested and put in the cell.

[b]2. Having 2 kids out of wedlock.
My kids are seven years apart, this is because for the 17 yrs were always having issues that separates us. We were never together for the whole 17 yrs.
There was a time she relocated to another state, there were times she stayed alone in her own apartment.....will continue later.

Crossalpha:

I didn't want to go into giving full details so that my post will not be too long.
Let me try to answer your questions .

1. Why she locked up my mum.[/b]We had an occasion that brought many of our relatives to our family house, the house was filled and people were still coming.
My own house is also in the same vicinity, my mum asked one of my aunt to go and stay in my house since there was no more space in our family house.
When my aunt got there Janet refused to let her into my house. After much explaination and pleading my aunt called my mum and told her what happened. My mum got to the house and scolded her for her behaviour, she insulted my mum and my aunt lost it and hell was let loose.
Janet went to the police, my mum and aunt was arrested and put in the cell.

[b]2. Having 2 kids out of wedlock.
My kids are seven years apart, this is because for the 17 yrs were always having issues that separates us. We were never together for the whole 17 yrs.
There was a time she relocated to another state, there were times she stayed alone in her own apartment.....will continue later.

Your number 1 explanation didn't buy me much, I feel there's more... Her story may be more pathetic than yours. Like who no go support him mama? Even me will see more reason with my mom.


The second is, why get her pregnant after 7 years? If you no want this woman why knock her up again? This attitude of birthing and living without marriage sorry to say I noticed it more with delta folks...

I can't tell you what to do, my advice if I were you is to reconcile and give her steps and reconciliation path to achieve a home with her. There's still room for all parties to forgive and reconcile, and move on. She too get where e dey pain her say you 4ck up as well!

Your own mother failed by allowing you make this mistake so far...

Wow...this one na good news indeed...

Hmmmm...

See this Olosho op, Can you imagine?

LadyRosa:


Your number 1 explanation didn't buy me much, I feel there's more... Her story may be more pathetic than yours. Like who no go support him mama? Even me will see more reason with my mom.


The second is, why get her pregnant after 7 years? If you no want this woman why knock her up again? This attitude of birthing and living without marriage sorry to say I noticed it more with delta folks...

I can't tell you what to do, my advice if I were you is to reconcile and give her steps and reconciliation path to achieve a home with her. There's still room for all parties to forgive and reconcile, and move on. She too get where e dey pain her say you 4ck up as well!

Your own mother failed by allowing you make this mistake so far...

I don’t know, why you felt that….the OP ‘….got Janet pregnant’ as if, Janet was forced or blindsided into getting pregnant. If there is a ‘fault’ in getting pregnant, I think they both share it 50-50 and are both equally responsible.

And, I don’t care if a relationship lady for 1 day or 30 years, you ladies should realize that; unless a guy explicitly tell you that, the relationship will be moving to the permanent site, please don’t assume it will be.

Boyfriend and Girlfriend relationship, is a relationship ‘at will’ each party have the right to terminate it anytime they choose, Janet should have terminated the relationship herself, if she didn’t see any value in it despite no marriage promises….but she choose not to….unless OP promised to marry her or acted in someway to make her believe they will get marry, I don’t see any fault from OP.

Even if the OP promised her marriage, and situations on ground no longer warrants that outcome, he should not be obligated to get into marriage.

@Ladies, please when you get into any relationship, don’t assume anything….define what is ‘valuable’ to you….ask questions…if the relationship no longer presents any value to you, please bounce!

And don’t get pregnant for any guy in the hope of ‘hooking’ him to marry you; it is not beyond reason to assume that Janet felt that, with the birth of two boys, OP will have no choice than to marry her….but, here we are now, the choice is not 50-50 to marry Janet but 3-to-1, like 33%.

OP, whatever you do, don’t get into marriage out of pity or out of obligation or out of remorse or out of sacrifice! Life is too short!

Marry the one with big yansh

linearity:


I don’t know, why you felt that….the OP ‘….got Janet pregnant’ as if, Janet was forced or blindsided into getting pregnant. If there is a ‘fault’ in getting pregnant, I think they both share it 50-50 and are both equally responsible.

And, I don’t care if a relationship lady for 1 day or 30 years, you ladies should realize that; unless a guy explicitly tell you that, the relationship will be moving to the permanent site, please don’t assume it will be.

Boyfriend and Girlfriend relationship, is a relationship ‘at will’ each party have the right to terminate it anytime they choose, Janet should have terminated the relationship herself, if she didn’t see any value in it despite no marriage promises….but she choose not to….unless OP promised to marry her or acted in someway to make her believe they will get marry, I don’t see any fault from OP.

Even if the OP promised her marriage, and situations on ground no longer warrants that outcome, he should not be obligated to get into marriage.

@Ladies, please when you get into any relationship, don’t assume anything….define what is ‘valuable’ to you….ask questions…if the relationship no longer presents any value to you, please bounce!

And don’t get pregnant for any guy in the hope of ‘hooking’ him to marry you; it is not beyond reason to assume that Janet felt that, with the birth of two boys, OP will have no choice than to marry her….but, here we are now, the choice is not 50-50 to marry Janet but 3-to-1, like 33%.

OP, whatever you do, don’t get into marriage out of pity or out of obligation or out of remorse or out of sacrifice! Life is too short!

You're correct, reason why I castigated the Janet in my first post and blamed it more on bad upbringing. A lady living with a man without any formal commitment?!? And birthing two sons. Where I come from, those children belongs to my father until the bride price is fully paid.

He must marry her. I'm not obligating him to, after all 'ihe di n' oyi ga na n'oyi'. Wetin dey for relationships with out commitment dey Waka like that...

It's his call.

Thugnificent:
Your wahala too much abeg

I swear