I and my wife have been married for 9 years now, we have 3 children Peace (7) Mark (5) and Zion (3). Our marriage has been relatively peaceful like most marriages but not devoid of little differences couples face once in a while. We live modestly and by the grace of God I provide for my family at least their basic needs.

But one thing that is becoming a real issue for me is my wife's habit of stealing money from my pocket, initially when I noticed my money was missing and confronted her she blantantlly denied it and claimed maybe I lost it outside.

Know fully well that that is not the case I decided to test I heed money under my box and she still located it when I noticed that my money was missing and confronted her with fact she denied at first but later admitted to taking it.

When I asked yesterday that what are the 3 things in life she will never? The first on her list was "I will never steal, excluding from my husband".

Her reply has kept me wondering if she will ever stop stealing, I can't leave any money in my pocket peacefully again she doesn't care whether the money is mine or not.

Please what can I do to help my wife I need your suggestions?

Meaning she is a thief

You are taking it lightly with her that why she had the guts to say "excluding you".

She no dey go church?
She obviously didn't have a good home training.

Look... Sit her down and give her a serious warning, that the next time she tries such with you, you won't hesitate to call a family meeting and expose her before everybody. In fact tell her, henceforth if any money goes missing whether she took it or not, you'll hang it on her.
You'll see, she'll be praying for you not to lose your money. But and if she waves your threat, then do it.

It's very bad to steal from anyone. It doesn't matter if it's your husband, mother or father; stealing is stealing!.
If you let it continue, your children will definitely join her and start picking your money.

I know a woman who used to do that to her husband. The husband used to shout and fight her then when the children were still small. Now her children are grown, they've started stealing from her and everyday she'll be shouting.

Hm..

Well give her more money, she will be definitely building a house somewhere that you don't know about..

Seems you don’t give her enough money

4tomandchi:
I and my wife have been married for 9 years now, we have 3 children Peace (7) Mark (5) and Zion (3). Our marriage has been relatively peaceful like most marriages but not devoid of little differences couples face once in a while. We live modestly and by the grace of God I provide for my family at least their basic needs.

But one thing that is becoming a real issue for me is my wife's habit of stealing money from my pocket, initially when I noticed my money was missing and confronted her she blantantlly denied it and claimed maybe I lost it outside.

Know fully well that that is not the case I decided to test I heed money under my box and she still located it when I noticed that my money was missing and confronted her with fact she denied at first but later admitted to taking it.

When I asked yesterday that what are the 3 things in life she will never? The first on her list was "I will never steal, excluding from my husband".

Her reply has kept me wondering if she will ever stop stealing, I can't leave any money in my pocket peacefully again she doesn't care whether the money is mine or not.

Please what can I do to help my wife I need your suggestions?

There was something you did not state which is very obvious in this post, op.
You don't give her money.
You tested her by hiding money somewhere and she located it and stole it, test her again but this time, hide the money in plain sight, but give her money before you do it, at least twice...then watch your money in plain sight remain there for a long while.

It's very important to give your wife money, don't provide the basic need in the house and neglect her. Money is a lubricant, at least now that you have the money, give her as much as you can, you won't lack.

But if you do all that's required and she still steals, then it's a quirk.
We all have weird quirks.
You have to accept hers.

Tell her to stop it and stop behaving like a weakling abeg...

4tomandchi:
I and my wife have been married for 9 years now, we have 3 children Peace (7) Mark (5) and Zion (3). Our marriage has been relatively peaceful like most marriages but not devoid of little differences couples face once in a while. We live modestly and by the grace of God I provide for my family at least their basic needs.

But one thing that is becoming a real issue for me is my wife's habit of stealing money from my pocket, initially when I noticed my money was missing and confronted her she blantantlly denied it and claimed maybe I lost it outside.

Know fully well that that is not the case I decided to test I heed money under my box and she still located it when I noticed that my money was missing and confronted her with fact she denied at first but later admitted to taking it.

When I asked yesterday that what are the 3 things in life she will never? The first on her list was "I will never steal, excluding from my husband".

Her reply has kept me wondering if she will ever stop stealing, I can't leave any money in my pocket peacefully again she doesn't care whether the money is mine or not.

Please what can I do to help my wife I need your suggestions?

Estimate the amount she steals and subtract it from her housekeeping money (if it is already sufficient).

If it is not sufficient, then she is stealing to make up for it. Don't increase the housekeeping money.

Also leave the amount in your pocket you are willing to lose and keep the rest in the bank. You should use this as an opportunity to embrace the cashless way of life.

Some women see it as a benefit of marriage just how some husbands see picking meat from the pot/soup/freezer and some children see inflating cost of schooling and other stuffs as benefits of their relationships.

Man up n be tough on her whenever your money gets missing.

Na wa o

There's a simple solution.
Stop keeping money where she'll be able to get to it.

Hopefully, she won't graduate into stealing the home appliances.

I won't draw conclusion on your complain. You should try to give her money without her requesting and put her to a test with something below what you gave to her.

Also, you should try and find out if she has a personal project she is handling that is not known to you or indebted to someone.

After that, you can confront her on a peaceful manner to let her know that you aren't okay with her attitude.

Subsequent act from her means she has a problem and that way you can go ahead and try to help her in solving it.

Had it been that she didn't deny taking the money where you kept it - assuming that your thoughtlessness wasn't the reason why she lied - I'd said she simply took what belongs to her. Now let me assume that you come into equity with cleans hands in the union; the following will always happen if she too comes into equity with clean hands in the union:

- She won't hide when taking it

- She won't deny taking it

- She won't be frivolous

- And you won't feel bad when she takes it

Citing that you have shouted "my money" in your submission, however, I don't need a soothsayer to tell me that either you or the both of you don't have an altruistic interest for each other and see money beyond what it's - a means to an end, but not an end itself.

Time to intercede on her behalf. Fight this battle on your knees, coupled with actions like exposing her to the consequences, also taking drastic steps to ensure she doesn't get tempted. Remind her that her seeds are watching, what kind of home training or example is she laying for them?
Most importantly fear of God is what keeps one.

God's help to you

.


am ain't supporting her but as long as she's your wife there's no big deal there!



this generation has truly lost the meaning of marriage





.

I understand how you feel, especially when you aren't that buoyant but referring to her as a thief just because she took your money, isn't too cool. What happened to the phrase in marriage that says " the two shall become one".. At this juncture, may I ask, if she is working or a stay at home mom at the moment? Men, with understanding knows that if you take care of your wife financially and otherwise, there is a blessing attached to it but for her to go about taking your money, means she needs the money. Things are expensive this days, call her and ask what and what she need as a wife. Don't go about tagging your wife, the mother of your children a thief. Talk to her and let her know why she should meet you whenever she needs urgent money and you as well, don't wait for her to ask before extending hand to her, no matter how small it is.

You've been living with a liar and a klepto. Bone of your bone they say

ststyreal:
I understand how you feel, especially when you aren't that buoyant but referring to her as a thief just because she took your money, isn't too cool. What happened to the phrase in marriage that says " the two shall become one".. At this juncture, may I ask, if she is working or a stay at home mom at the moment? Men, with understanding knows that if you take care of your wife financially and otherwise, there is a blessing attached to it but for her to go about taking your money, means she needs the money. Things are expensive this days, call her and ask what and what she need as a wife. Don't go about tagging your wife, the mother of your children a thief. Talk to her and let her know why she should meet you whenever she needs urgent money and you as well, don't wait for her to ask before extending hand to her, no matter how small it is.

Irrespective of whatever she must not be stealing. There's no other word to describe her than "thief". Being in a marriage doesn't change the narrative that she stole money and that's being a thief.

Goldbw122:
Well give her more money, she will be definitely building a house somewhere that you don't know about..

...

Which kain yeye advice be this??

4tomandchi:
I and my wife have been married for 9 years now, we have 3 children Peace (7) Mark (5) and Zion (3). Our marriage has been relatively peaceful like most marriages but not devoid of little differences couples face once in a while. We live modestly and by the grace of God I provide for my family at least their basic needs.

But one thing that is becoming a real issue for me is my wife's habit of stealing money from my pocket, initially when I noticed my money was missing and confronted her she blantantlly denied it and claimed maybe I lost it outside.

Know fully well that that is not the case I decided to test I heed money under my box and she still located it when I noticed that my money was missing and confronted her with fact she denied at first but later admitted to taking it.

When I asked yesterday that what are the 3 things in life she will never? The first on her list was "I will never steal, excluding from my husband".

Her reply has kept me wondering if she will ever stop stealing, I can't leave any money in my pocket peacefully again she doesn't care whether the money is mine or not.

Please what can I do to help my wife I need your suggestions?

Talk to her.
Let her know exactly how it makes you feel when she steals from you and denies it. (I’d totally lose respect for such a person)
Give her what is due her as your wife, then tell her to ask first before taking anything else from you.

If you don’t mind me asking; are you stingy with your wife? Be honest...
Taking your money without asking could be her way of getting back at you. Stinginess in a spouse is intolerable.

ATMC:

[/b]There was something you did not state which is very obvious in this post, op.
You don't give her money.[b]
You tested her by hiding money somewhere and she located it and stole it, test her again but this time, hide the money in plain sight, but give her money before you do it, at least twice...then watch your money in plain sight remain there for a long while.

It's very important to give your wife money, don't provide the basic need in the house and neglect her. Money is a lubricant, at least now that you have the money, give her as much as you can, you won't lack.

But if you do all that's required and she still steals, then it's a quirk.
We all have weird quirks.
You have to accept hers.

..
I read the op, and no where in it was the bolded stated or insinuated..

ststyreal:
I understand how you feel, especially when you aren't that buoyant but [/b]referring to her as a thief just because she took your money, isn't too cool[b]. What happened to the phrase in marriage that says " the two shall become one".. At this juncture, may I ask, if she is working or a stay at home mom at the moment? Men, with understanding knows that if you take care of your wife financially and otherwise, there is a blessing attached to it but for her to go about taking your money, means she needs the money. Things are expensive this days, call her and ask what and what she need as a wife. Don't go about tagging your wife, the mother of your children a thief. Talk to her and let her know why she should meet you whenever she needs urgent money and you as well, don't wait for her to ask before extending hand to her, no matter how small it is.

..
So what should we called a person that takes money that isn't his/hers without the owners permission?? +

mariahAngel:


Talk to her.
Let her know exactly how it makes you feel when she steals from you and denies it. (I’d totally lose respect for such a person)
Give her what is due her as your wife, then tell her to ask first before taking anything else from you.

If you don’t mind me asking; are you stingy with your wife? Be honest...
Taking your money without asking could be her way of getting back at you. Stinginess in a spouse is intolerable.

Men are suffering.

After providing for the family, we have to cater for our wives as well?

That begs the question, can't women work?

First oga, stop calling the mother of your kid thief, is very very wrong and disrespectful to hear...

If she's a complete house wife, give her enough money, and also give her money if she doesn't request for it....

I know why you are angry is because she always deny it whenever you ask her......

Uyi168:
..
I read the op, and no where in it was the bolded stated or insinuated..

Exactly.
He insinuated he gives her money for upkeep of the home but that is like giving her money to keep their home...what about money to keep herself, madam has got personal needs to meet, let's say she's jobless.

I feel stealing is an option for especially one who has no source of income.

If op claims she steals from him, one can assume he doesn't give her money, else it would have been stated.

Uyi168:
..
So what should we called a person that takes money that isn't his/hers without the owners permission?? +

This is his wife we are talking about here. They are now one not two anymore. You see, this is why I like Catholic church marriage. They will make you realise that you both are now one indivisible being just like Christ and his church. What belongs to the husband belongs to the wife as well. If he calls his wife a thief, then he is as well, the husband of a thief, so he also bears the title.

MufasaLion:


Irrespective of whatever she must not be stealing. There's no other word to describe her than "thief". Being in a marriage doesn't change the narrative that she stole money and that's being a thief.

They both own the money. What belongs to the husband belongs to the wife as well. They are now one and not two. Calling the wife a thief makes him the husband of a thief as well, you see, does that sound good to the ear? He should rather talk to the wife in the language she would understand rather than painting her a thief.

ststyreal:

This is his wife we are talking about here. They are now one not two anymore. You see, this is why I like Catholic church marriage. They will make you realise that you both are now one indivisible being just like Christ and his church. What belongs to the husband belongs to the wife as well. If he calls his wife a thief, then he is as well, the husband of a thief, so he also bears the title.

Are you saying there's nothing like marital rape?

Men who rape their wives are justified to do so?

God knows how much I hate people taking my stuffs without my consent .

Op , report the thief to her parents then stop bringing home much cash . Bring only the money for upkeeps and few extra change.

What kind of example is she setting for the kids?
Some people sef tire prrson .

poshestmina:
God knows how much I hate people taking my stuffs without my consent .

Op , report the thief to her parents then stop bringing home much cash . Bring only the money for upkeeps and few extra change.

What kind of example is she setting for the kids?
Some people sef tire prrson .

Thank you!!