Missionaire:


You don't know nothing oga. E be like say na only me dey reply you sef. Just rest. You are right. Inter-ethnic marriages are bad. Marry from your tribe and let those who want to intermarry also do.
Live and let live.

Dude, i didn't ask you to reply, you could have ignored and forget about the writeup.

Btw, Suddenly when i asked about marrying from another religion. Excuses started flowing in and it ended up with i don't know nothing.

Typical Nigerians.

While I disagree with some or most of the submissions, I was actually wondering recently how couples from different ethnic groups get along in marriage especially when neither can speak the language of the other.

The signs I have been seeing suggests I might eventually get married to a person of a different ethnicity. But while watching TV with a love interest recently, I noticed something curious: she'd rather watch movie channels in her own language more so than those in English.

This is a little matter. However, it got me wondering a little: how will this work out if we got married? And it might not be polite to simply go elsewhere and shift my attention to something else while leaving her to enjoy her choice.

Little things like the above are the "challenges." But the other issues you brought up...

This is a very myopic and limited reasoning. People are conquering continents to the ends of the earth and your are there holding to your african village people.

This is a localised mindset of someone that thinks tribally and resists growth and integration.

The myopic mind will say marry from your race, marry your people, marry from your country, marry from your state, marry from your tribe, marry from your community, marry from your kindred, marry from your kin......endless.

You should as well marry your sister or your brother or at best is to marry yourself.

What do you know about your origin, what do you know about your lineage or ethnicity and where it extends to? Every ethnic group is an offshoot of another and if you continue to iterate you will find out that they are all from a common ancestry.

OP Learn to iterate things to the infinite stage before you conclude. Where does your ethnicity begin and end, can you iterate the beginning and the extent of your ethnicity? Can you trace your roots to 1000 years ago to tell who belongs to your ethnicity or who doesn't. So how can you judge people's root and who belongs to an ethnicity or not. If you flip and infinitely integrate inwardly who is actually a member of your ethnicity? Does it end in your family or it ends in your blood or it ends in your cells or in your DNA? Who is purely of your ethnicity? What do you know about your origin or the origin of the ethnicity or the culture or the language you speak? Do you know where it evolved from? So because you met a language in 1900 or 1985 or 2021 means that is the language of your ethnicity, do you ever reason that your language and culture has also evolved right before you? You think the yoruba or ibo or hausa spoken in 1950 is the same with today? I have travelled round the world and I will tell you that there is beauty and strength in diversity and the entire world is a convoluted mix of same shit and you must operate with this mindset to be successful in life.

thebosstrevor1:
Most people like to support inter ethnic marriages between different tribes in Nigeria because they want to be seen as woke and cultured or because they afraid of being call tribalist, racists and bigot.

The truth is inter ethnic marriages bring more trouble for families than intra marriages.

Some yoruba women will say i love igbo men while some igbo men will say i love yoruba women, some yoruba and igbo men will say i love hausa and fulani women but nobody will tell you the stress and pain of getting into these marriages.

Have you encountered cultural shock like different types of demands and settlements just because you want to marry someone from a particular tribe or when you have to change religion just to be accepted to marry this person.

After, the marriages and child birth, what languages to speak at home, problem of whether to speak in English or the father or mother tongue.

How about identity crises, problem of where are you from, is your identity igbo, yoruba, hausa or fulani, question of who am i? Should you follow the father or mother side.

Politically and culturally, you are not accepted by both your mother and father side, when you try to contest in your father side, they will say you are not too igbo, yoruba or hausa to contest, on your mother side, they will disown you because you bear a different surname from the people.

Lets imagine your father dies today, we all know that some uncle and aunties will come to claim properties and then send the woman and her children back to square one just because she is not of the same tribe or ethnic group.

Inter marriages is sweet on paper for diversity and unity pass mark but very dangerous and stressful for those in it in real life.

Yorubas kills yoruba. During the ife-modakeke crisis ife husbands killed their wives that are modakeke and vice versa. Tribe has nothing to do with marital happiness...Marital happiness is anchored on agreement, openness, sacrifice and sincerity!

efficiencie:


Yorubas kills yoruba. During the ife-modakeke crisis ife husbands killed their wives that are modakeke and vice versa. Tribe has nothing to do with marital happiness...Marital happiness is anchored on agreement, openness, sacrifice and sincerity!

Tribe and religion play a role in marital happiness but also we can not ignore the fact that within the same ethnic group couple do have problems

thebosstrevor1:


Tribe and religion play a role in marital happiness but also we can not ignore the fact that within the same ethnic group couple do have problems

A major contradiction is lurking in your post...If tribe and religion play a role in marital happiness how come couples of the same ethnicity and religion have problems - actually a ton of problems? We are supposed to see a lot of cases where couples of the same tribe and religion remain together in happiness but you and I both know that is not the case. Marriage is a covenant between a man and woman that are a match for each other. The matching criteria here is where the complexity lies because humans are complex beings and I believe only someone with an understanding of the complexity of mankind can suitable decide the matching criteria and that person in my opinion is GOD...marry your match as provided by GOD and commit to abiding by the covenant of marriage and your marriage will be a journey of ecstasy!

efficiencie:


A major contradiction is lurking in your post...If tribe and religion play a role in marital happiness how come couples of the same ethnicity and religion have problems - actually a ton of problems? We are supposed to see a lot of cases where couples of the same tribe and religion remain together in happiness but you and I both know that is not the case. Marriage is a covenant between a man and woman that are a match for each other. The matching criteria here is where the complexity lies because humans are complex beings and I believe only someone with an understanding of the complexity of mankind can suitable decide the matching criteria and that person in my opinion is GOD...marry your match as provided by GOD and commit to abiding by the covenant of marriage and your marriage will be a journey of ecstasy!

I am not denying the fact that couples of the same tribes do encountered problems in their marriages but the problem they encountered is different from a couple from different tribe or religion or different race.

We all know marriage isn't an individual thing in this part of the world, if you marry you are basically marrying into the family, in most cases families do have a say in the type of person their children can marry, some parents might not like a particular tribe or someone from a particular religion and they will make it a priority to destroy the relationship or marriages.

Anyway matching criteria isn't determine by God in the real world but by humans and many things influence in their choice.