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Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by faste: 9:37am On Sep 07, 2021
CXLVII:
Start working with alcohol. It will make you bold.
The. price is addiction !
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by faste: 9:41am On Sep 07, 2021
Mekailo:

Am confused, because you just expressed yourself here, so you don't have a problem
This is digital expression..real life expression hard for am!
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by Lattop(m): 10:25am On Sep 07, 2021
faste:
Can that increase his confidence?
Yes
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by oloripeter(m): 10:37am On Sep 07, 2021
Try to force yourself to say something to people either or not. You can join association from there you will gain confidence. Doing my time I joined student Union in institutions and I became speaker In my department then
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by funkeyuche: 11:17am On Sep 07, 2021
Brother just search for David Goggkins on YouTube watch and list to is videos...I promise you will become so extroverted. Thank me later

1 Like

Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by BigMoneyeye: 11:36am On Sep 07, 2021
sirp9898:
Guy start to dey high u get your confident
grin
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by justmi1: 11:54am On Sep 07, 2021
This OP has same characteristics as me, only that I am 10 years older ( 31yrs) and my over 3 decades of existence has been boring. I have never had a relationship at my age.

I have been too serious with life, I have thought of suicide several times, I feel like I have wasted my life, I feel like restarting it all, I regret many things I didn't do or say.

I really wish I could change alot, I have phobia for gatherings, i would rather be indoors as i am right now.

Sometimes i wish i could just die in my sleep. It's so hard. Goodluck OP

2 Likes

Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by bigjackass: 12:05pm On Sep 07, 2021
Mekailo:

Am confused, because you just expressed yourself here, so you don't have a problem
he meant verbally
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by Skidee: 12:30pm On Sep 07, 2021
I beg you in the name of whatever you believe in, don't listen to those churchrats advising you to start drinking. If you start, the end maybe very risky through addiction.

First of all, if you are a Christian, start going to church, join the youth group and become relevant by participating in church and youthful activities, as there are so many fun activities lined up in the youth's department. Also, start mingling and contributing in discussions. same as if your religion is otherwise.

Join sport activities in your area like going to play football in a small local field or street, you can make friends too from there.

Save and work on joining a part-time school to help broaden your horizon and become relevant to yourself.
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by Janosky: 12:30pm On Sep 07, 2021
mastermaestro:


I have faced exactly what the dude is currently going through. I mean the diffidence part of it. Too much reading has a way of disconnecting one from real people. Reading is good for learning, but certainly not for solving shyness and confidence issues.

Dude needs to go out and mingle with real people. The most shy and depressed people are actually those who spend most of their time reading endlessly. Books cure ignorance. But books don't improve social life. In fact, the more you read, the more introverted you become. The more separated you are from your real surrounding.
You guys should just leave book matter out of this unless you want to plunge the young man further into his miserable solitary living.

Mind you I still love reading, but now with commonsense. Let him go out and explore his world! Now is not the time for any book! He needs practical face to face interactions! He doesn't need some book illusions! Enough of this isolated living!

What you are doing amounts to telling the OP to learn traffic rules by sitting in front of the car steering & driving on a busy highway.

Bros, he has to learn step by step.

You don't seem to realize that at this point the OP has no confidence to converse with anyone in public let alone face a crowd.

The OP needs to feed himself with knowledge of what he needs to do.
It begins with reading and personal application of what he has learnt.

Shalom.
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by Daniwes: 12:32pm On Sep 07, 2021
Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad cry
I lack self confidence too cry
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world! cry

Damn!.. i can relatee
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by Kobojunkie: 12:48pm On Sep 07, 2021
Gudlite:
YOUR CASE IS NOTHING IF YOUR ARE WILLING TO WORK/DEVELOPE YOURSELF.

HOW:
1) YOU HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR ATTITUDE AND STOP BLAMING YOUR PARENT
2) MOST PEOPLE YOU WISH TO BE LIKE ,WHERE ONCE LIKE YOU OR WORSE THAN YOU.
3) A PROBLEM KNOWN IS HALF SOLVED
4)LEARN TO RENEW YOUR MIND BY READING THE BIBLE,READING BOOKS AND LISTENING TO MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER, AND PRAY TO GOD TO HELP YOU.

RECOMMENDED BOOK

AUTHOR; JOYCE MEYER

TITLE: BATTLE FIELD OF THE MIND


ONE GREAT MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER

LES BROWN.(Go to you tube and search for it)

GOODLUCK AS YOU EMBARK ON THE JOURNEY OF CHANGE.
Solofresh2, I don't recommend this book or any other so-called Christian book. I too used to struggle with similar issues and the problem got worse for me when I began trying to "obtain" confidence from books, including this one. undecided
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by joinnow: 12:53pm On Sep 07, 2021
Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad cry
I lack self confidence too cry
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world! cry
Join toastmasters
If you are a christain join businessman fellowship
Join rotaract club

Read public speaking book.
Socialize well
The above will help you build confidence.
Learn to say no

1 Like

Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by aligntosucceed(f): 1:26pm On Sep 07, 2021
I'm sure you know, you don't have to follow all the advice given to you here. kindly filter the advice. Start with self-discovery, discover who you are, and the kind of life you want to live, then start taking steps towards it. look for someone to talk to, hang out with friends, read books on self-development, be closer to God. I wish you all the best and I'm here rooting for you.

1 Like

Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by bepositive11: 4:18pm On Sep 07, 2021
Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad cry
I lack self confidence too cry
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world! cry

First of all, please ignore the people suggesting dr*gs and alcohol. They are dangerous and temporary solutions for your permanent problem. They will do more harm than good

Secondly, please stop blaming others for your situation. Yes, maybe your parents didn't do the needful, but forgive them. They did the best that they could. It's now time for you to take matters into your own hands

Start by stepping out of your comfort zone little by little. Challenge yourself.

Look for opportunities to put yourself in positions where you have to build confidence. Whether it's public speaking or sports or volunteering

Look for ways to challenge yourself in a way that you'll have to face your fears head on. Start small. As you build confidence, you will get bolder and bolder and before you know it, you'll be confident

It's a journey. Be patient with yourself and remain determined

1 Like

Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by bepositive11: 4:19pm On Sep 07, 2021
sirp9898:
Guy start to dey high u get your confident

More like fake/temporary confidence
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by ImaIma1(f): 4:27pm On Sep 07, 2021
slawormiir:
Damnnn niggar
Typical of a pussy ass niggar....
This is what happened when father raised weak men and mother reinforced it

This is why I detest boarding school ....bros op story sounds just a like a kid who spent his entire gadmnnn life in boarding school

No exposure to the real society...no street ruggedity, no toughness....

Ogbeni start hanging around with friends..come out of your house....visit play house, bar, football viewing centres...get high with beer....play Saturday football with hood niggars ....involve yourself when niggarz are arguing...
I don't know if Ogbeni op is in Benin city...make I instil some street and self confidence into am...as I dey type so....I still dey outside with my niggarz...probably before we go enter house today he go be around 1am


On the contrary, boarding school makes one independent. My siblings and I all went to boarding schools, and none of us is timid or shy. BS makes you grow up quick and make decisions without mummy and daddy there to guide you.
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by 1Bishop(m): 4:53pm On Sep 07, 2021
Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad cry
I lack self confidence too cry
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world! cry

You need a coach. I was once like you. I have been there before. I know how painful it can be. I am willing to help you. Send me an sms. I have sent you an email.
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by ObalaEmma: 5:55pm On Sep 07, 2021
Being broke and shy Is like Siamese twins. Being shy due to year's of indoors is more physiological than behavioral - Reason people tell you to drink. But that won't solve your problem. If you have Adhd or Mdd, I think this is not the solution. You really have to get something to hold your attention.

1 Like

Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by themanderon: 6:13pm On Sep 07, 2021
Solofresh2:
Hello fellow Nairalanders,
Please I need your advice on this.I find it hard to express myself to people because of been rejected by them
I find it hard to express myself because of being criticized
I find it hard to express myself even at my place of work because of being sacked going back to square one
There are somethings I don't voluntrily want to do when people ask me to do then but I can't say no because I don't want to look bad cry
I lack self confidence too cry
I really need help because deep down I hate it when I can't express my feelings to people
Have been pretending to enjoy pain and stress since I was born and now am 21 years of age,no school,no handwork, always feeling shy but I have one talent which is music but I don't know how to go about it and I don't want to see sucide as an option
I blame my parents for this things because when I was small, they don't allow me to go out and experience life
As I write about this now,I feed myself and instead of them to give me, they are always demanding from me
I don't even know where to start from
Am tired of this goddamn world! cry


One thing you have to understand in this world is that you cannot please everyone no matter what you do. All you have to do is to satisfy your conscience and God whatever actions you take. You cannot continue to displease yourself to please others even if you do not all would still see you as a good person. Be yourself and you would be surprised how people might even turn out to like you. Most importantly keep God first for he is able to help you with whatever inadequecies you think you may have.
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by lookyzy: 6:46pm On Sep 07, 2021
Kobojunkie:
Solofresh2, I don't recommend this book or any other so-called Christian book. I too used to struggle with similar issues and the problem got worse for me when I began trying to "obtain" confidence from books, including this one. undecided
please, how do you solved yours?
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by Kobojunkie: 7:03pm On Sep 07, 2021
lookyzy:
please, how do you solved yours?
I kept reading books and trying to force myself to do things that others hoping for a breakthrough but that didn't happen. Instead, what did was that my mind began to fracture. I eventually lost my mind too. Took a long for it to heal itself, during which I had no other choice but to face my demons , learn and accept them. undecided

I dug deep into myself to find and acknowledge the root of the problem... it wasn't until after then, that my self esteem and confidence started to naturally resolve themselves.
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by Palazee(m): 8:06pm On Sep 07, 2021
bonetalk:

I hope you don't take an advice like this one serious....
I think, you really need to start socializing and meet with good friends, this will help you overcome your challenges.. socializing helps a lot, u need to also believe in yourself....
Don't shift blame on your predicament, be responsible for yourself and everything that happens to you, otherwise the situation will never change....
Bible says we aren't given the spirit of fear but of love , power and sound mind, always use this as your prayer point, join a group in your church and be active in church activities.
Love yourself and believe in yourself
Can't you advice the op without quoting me

Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by Xantel(f): 9:18pm On Sep 07, 2021
[he should join his church choir, then pick up from there]

Easier said than done

good, can you link him up to an instrumentalist or sound recording studio?

You know he needs relevant company now. Not just random strangers![/quote]
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by shantti(m): 8:52pm On Sep 23, 2021
Demigod22:
I have been there before, it's a terrible thing to experience. Depression is lack of expression. Just go out more and mingle with people. Build your self confidence by reading books, chatting with people and go out.

How will he go about to start the mingling, it's not that easy for him nah
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by shantti(m): 9:13pm On Sep 23, 2021
Bro, overcoming this problem is a gradual process, this is a psychological issue which many guys have passed through, am tempted to say that it is part of growing up, it's that stage where you haven't yet found your social identity. Some conquered theirs early, others conquered theirs late. This is my own advise for u.
1) quit masterbation
2) Start doing INTENSIVE workout every blessed day. I don't mean like 10 push ups oh, I mean like 100 push ups broken into sets of 10, 150 squats broken into sets of 25, 40 pull ups broken into sets of 8, 50 lunges broken into sets of 10, 70 crouches broken into sets of 10, 1000 rope skipping broken into sets of 100.
3) Start your day with a simple morning prayer and then GO OUT AND JOG.
4) Join a society in the church that will guarantee you going for a church program once a week. You will start mingling with people from there.
5) you are your own best friend, always try to be happy, try to forgive easily and don't harbour anger or hatrad for more than a day. This is important for your mental health.
6)PLEASE AND PLEASE, Avoid drugs and weed. Be very moderate in taking alcohol.
You will be fine, trust me

1 Like

Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by Demigod22: 9:19pm On Sep 23, 2021
shantti:


How will he go about to start the mingling, it's not that easy for him nah

Yes, that experience is not really easy.
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by Drella(m): 11:20pm On Jan 01, 2022
Drizzy5001:
I used to be like you, but not until I started getting high and drinking beer, all tnx to my lodge mates in school that's when I became bold, at least I can talk to anyone now, without fear, no matter who you are. cheesy

Can you talk to anyone without being high?
Before you give a false answer, remember that I get high too.
Re: I Find It Hard Expressing Myself And It Is Killing Me by segcymoor(m): 5:41pm On Jan 04, 2022
abbatoir:


Error... what you guys assume to be confidence according to this write up is pride and over confidence


Real confidence like that of lion related to introvert...Calm, cool and quiet manner




Very good at observing and defend... trust me that's the actual confidence and not GRA gra


Fact...

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