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Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) - Literature (26) - Nairaland

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Smart Lady Gets Perfect Revenge On Yahoo Guy That Wants To Use Her For Rituals / In - Between ( A Fictional Story) / Life Of A Shy Guy (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by amzee(m): 4:17pm On Dec 03, 2021
@dodoatirice na just dis morning i com across dis ur tori n base on say i no go work 2day,i don dey page 25 now.
I dey anticipate 4 mor updates. Na good writer u b.

3 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Rick9(m): 6:06pm On Dec 03, 2021
waiting.
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Jaydasilva10: 6:58pm On Dec 03, 2021
More
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Rick9(m): 7:11pm On Dec 03, 2021
*Sighs*
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Twelvedemon12(m): 8:01pm On Dec 03, 2021
Two for the road cry but him know how far say him own na different thing
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Zeel007: 8:22pm On Dec 03, 2021
Update
Update
Update

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Rick9(m): 9:34pm On Dec 03, 2021
No show yet.
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by formular760: 9:59pm On Dec 03, 2021
See as people dey Queue for update. Una no kne say e noor easy. Dah guy fit dey busy
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by uthlaw: 10:51pm On Dec 03, 2021
Update update!
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Zeel007: 10:55pm On Dec 03, 2021
Update
Update
Update
Update
Update
Update
Update
Update
Update
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Rick9(m): 12:25am On Dec 04, 2021
Sighs*

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by DSC7: 7:44am On Dec 04, 2021
Happy weekend dodoatirice....

Come give us update oooo....

I no get work today...... grin

2 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Haakeem(m): 10:33am On Dec 04, 2021
Op hala us update na.hope u are doing well?

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 11:16am On Dec 04, 2021
Fiction and Stupid Questions

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 11:45am On Dec 04, 2021
The Dude was literally living the life I would’ve lived if i had just slowed down and gone the way i did till this point. I explained to this dude the way he explained his story to me. He agreed i was in a complicated situation but didn’t seem bothered about it. (I told him a watered down version of my ritual money and ofcourse, I didn’t tell him i took peoples destiny or lives spiritually.

Niggaboi:
But OG, i wan dey dey with you, i no even believe say you go stop check the situation wey me and those bastard pussies dey (reffering to that crash) you come even get level pass me come stop commot me for the situation.. na real OG you be regardless.

Me: (i just kept nodding)

Niggaboi:
Bt bros, how many Road waka you get?

Me: (gesturing with my fingers) seven maybe eight or thereabouts all in all

Niggaboi: (hailing continues)

He asked if he could go to my place with me so from there we’d hangout again, for Nigga boi atleast for the time being i had no crazy intentions, i understood that he had take a path in the game that didn’t involved any ritual if at all, and he only neede to be consistent and buy recommended tools and he’d be fine. I knew it was only a time before Nighaboi leveled up. At forst meet I thought he was broke ass who just got a small bag recently and decided to splurg it away in the club. But his mindset was a progressive one and he was not as Evil as me. Back to the situation at hand, i told him he could come with me to my crib but I wouldn’t be able to go out to anywhere because of the fit i always threw which would one day happen infront of everyone. He was quiet after i said that but still insisted he’d go to my place with me.

I drove in my Benz and he did in his Lexus. We went in convoy, the shortest convoy in the world. I smoked his ass though. Inside my crib, he just wouldn’t keep shut. This nigga talk talk talk talk sotey we finish a bottle of Hennessy and half. It was fun, it was refreshing to have someone in the house asides Jago who brought along a vibe that made me relaxed as a ritualist. Like i had never felt at home with anyone in my home in my ritualistic career. The thing that put me at ease with him was when i regained composure and completely mobility and consciousness of my soul and body, he just sat there in the Bloddy Benz unbothered. Then there must be something about this guy. But I’d have to sleep with one eye open even so because for street, Snitches start out well in a street relationship of brothers. I bet Judas iscarriot would go to even because he didn’t plan to be a snitch, he started out well actually by being one of the chose disciples until the scripture dealth with him and changed his story. Here was Niggaboi and the Script may change him but for now he was fine as Bleep no homo!


At Baba’s Coven, i begged him to help me take the dogg shit away as it was really disturbing and starting to take a toll on my mental health and general well-being as a human being. Baba told me it was how the spirits directed him to help me acquire all the vanities of the world and to help me go as far as i could possibly go before the ultimate price so i needed to stop attacking him with my missile of words. Okay what do i do, baba said i had options and one of the only option was to offer a big sacrifice to the Gods and exchange my spiritual obligation with another one. Okay no wahala make i know wetin dem want this time.

Baba: You go find small pikin wey dem juss born Na girl e go be. Pikin wey dem born wey never reach one month you hia.

Me: okay you wan adopt?

(he looks at me like he could grab the dane gun that sat at the corner of the room but decided against it since the spirits were really dealing with me by offering me money that the more i spend the more thirsty dey become. Infact these days, na just blood and mad like obligations dem dey give.)

Baba: Mumuu, na the pikin we go take do soap for you wey you go dey take bath if you wan commot make u no dey bark like doorf for daytime.

Me(sharpsrly cuts in): oh wait, after the adoption, i go still dey bark like dog? Shey the pikin no go dey fear?)

Baba: who tey you say you wan adopt? Abi you go go buy Parcel

Me: wetin be parcel i no understand

Baba: (wants to say something and then stopped)
Called in his assistant to tell me in English that i needed to buy a Baby that hasn’t lived in this world for up to a month. The boy explained that, its not like I’d fo steal a baby but what parcel meant in that context was the fact that they (gesturing to himself and Baba) they know where or can make a call to dealers and they’d provide a chopped up version of s baby that fit the requirement. Meaning they’d have cut it into parts, i paid the cost and they packaged it in a parcel but the downside was, they don’t ship the parts for whatever reasons, I’d have to go receive it myself and bring it to the coven. He ended the short lecture with

Na wetin Baba dey try tey you be that.

Damn. Dealers, human Baby, blood, soap, pick up parcel, those words ran randomly in my head for a while and i put it all together and realized i was in way deeper shit. But i go save, ajeh, i gat to save myself.
I gave the nod, Baba got on the phone spoke in code words, as they had coded words for human parts etc.
I heard the voice on the other end agree to one million call dropped , made transfer and I had to go pick it up. A drop of location was sent, as they’d dropped it off in a parcel and gave me the pick up location as that was how they operated. As agreed, i found the package where they left it carefully placed and recognizing the disguise according to the drop off info, I picked it up and put it in my car. I couldn’t look, even though they’d carefully packaged it i felt like i was going to faint. Successfuly got back to Baba’s coven (because normally for this country, a big ride and some coins to throw at our popo, you go carry contraband nothing dey sup.

At Baba’s Coven, he asked me to unwrap the package.. they packed it together. But In sepretae units so the first unit of the packaging contained the eva water bottle that contained human Blood that was filled to the brim. (Blood they extracted from the butcher of the poor kid who’s only crime was to probably be a big victim of circumstance). Then the second compartment after i tore it open revealed fresh sections of a Baby cut into parts. head, arms, legs damn! Baba then gave me a mortar and a pestle and asked me to pound every of the body parts into a mesh .

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Konphido(m): 12:26pm On Dec 04, 2021
Scary!!
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Kpakam(m): 12:29pm On Dec 04, 2021
God forbid bad thing

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Haakeem(m): 12:29pm On Dec 04, 2021
op,next.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by collinometricx: 1:08pm On Dec 04, 2021
we are here
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Rick9(m): 2:51pm On Dec 04, 2021
Chai
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Zeel007: 4:29pm On Dec 04, 2021
Update
Update
Update
Update
Update
Update
Update
Update
@ dodoatrice
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Mummytoo: 5:36pm On Dec 04, 2021
Horror story
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Twelvedemon12(m): 5:55pm On Dec 04, 2021
O men shocked
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by DSC7: 5:59pm On Dec 04, 2021
Nawaooo shocked shocked shocked shocked...

This one choke oooo....


If Rich man tell poor man wetin he pass through to be wealthy,,, poor man go prefer to remain poor dey manage him life.....


Dodoatirice Abegggggg feed us updates.. cool...


You are doing well cool

2 Likes

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by bestmutiu2019(m): 7:00pm On Dec 04, 2021
W. T. F.
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by bestmutiu2019(m): 7:01pm On Dec 04, 2021
Wtf, mehn
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Rick9(m): 9:08pm On Dec 04, 2021
Nothing Yet.
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Arab1234567: 9:10pm On Dec 04, 2021
Watin Dey happen now OG. Drop update now. It’s getting late
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 4:57am On Dec 05, 2021
At first i was hesitant and gestured to Baba to have his circus assistant do it, i made a case of going to pick the stuff up and still coming to do their job for them. For a brief Baba let his gaze wander from myself to his assistant and then let it settle back on me then told me how he was pitying me. He told me it was the person who was barking like a dog that had to pound the mess of human flesh cut to pieces together. He then asked me if it was his assistant was barking… I didn’t even let him finish the sentence, i grabbed the stool i was handed earlier, sat on it and proceeded to pound it together. “Gbo gbo gbo gbo gbo gbo” went the swings for the pestle. I saw how the pressure from the pestle crushed the previously severed human Baby into meshes of Baby skin. I pounded to the point if you looked into the mortar you’d not even recognize the legs or the hands or the head. Occasionally Baba would come and peep into what i was turning into a mesh, speak some inaudible words and asked me to keep at it. He came to check for one more time and then asked me to stop the pounding. Beckoned to his to his assistant to take the pestle from me. He did and then used his hands to pack the mesh into a black pot, added some herbs to the pot, covered it and set it aside. Baba then slaughtered an Ekuke (Nigerian dog breed that shouldn’t be more than a month old from my observation). They dissected it and removed its heart and its head. Discarded the other body parts. Added the extracted dog parts into a separate pot and this time asked his assistant to pound it into a mesh this time. As soon as that was done, Baba then poured more herbs into a separate pot and then added the mixture of human mesh and dog mesh in the new pot and proceeded to burning everything together in this new pot by placing it on the burning fireplace. For hours. Finally he took the port off the fire and after the clouds of smoke that escaped, inside the pot was a burnt out version of the previous human and dog mesh. It had turned black like something got burnt. Like a Barbecued meat that was left on the grill unsupervised for hours.

He’d turn the content of the pot into a clean and separate pot this time and asked his assistant make it into a black soap. That one left and came back with the soap. Baba collected the pot that contained soap filled to the brim. How they turned it into a soap I didn’t know because I wasn’t outside when the dude worked on it. I was already inside Baba’s hut. Baba handed me the Pot that contained soap after his session of incantations. Them handed me the blood that came with the package. Told me the soap needed activation but the activation has to happen when i get home. I was to pour the blood into the soap and leave it in overnight and the next morning before i left home i was to bath the soap and I wouldn’t bark in the daytime. Meaning all my supposed barking everytime i bathed the soap would come at night or midnight atleast. So much for very little i thought. In addition to that, Baba told me to offer a simple sacrifice everyweek for bathing the soap, he said the sacrifice was easy and nothing obvious. I’d have to be buying a dozen of infant pant, put it in a container and take it to a 3 way junction in the early hors of the morning before i spoke a word to anyone and that was it. He dismissed me and i headed back home. For all the stress and shii, atleast I’d get to enjoy life as normal as i should in the day and faced my demons at night, that made some sense I thought, for the time being too. I followed every of Baba’s step, i can say, i got home and tried it the next morning. Nighaboi wanted to hangout, i told him I’d be coming to the location. I wanted to mention… i cut him short and told him not to worry about it. I got in the bath, did as i was instructed. One thing i noticed during the bath was as the shower washed the leather away from my skin, i heard a baby crying. And the crying stopped as soon as i stepped outside the bath. I should’ve been scared shit, but i was getting used to surprises on the job. I toweled dried myself, dressed up, headed downstairs, sat in the Benzo and from my house i drove inside life.


I found Nighaboi im the hotel he lodged at, after we exchanged pleasantries, he made a comment about me looking fresh and somewhat happy that morning. I told him there was no secret to it and that i kinda fixed the seizures but he wouldn’t understand. E no too tey we don dey smoke loud, na so we jam those two stupid fat yanch from the night Nighaboi crashed his Lexus. Today apparently, they came to chill out and look for hookups as usual and we just sat there. I saw them first in particular. Gestured to Nighaboi who saw them and gave a loud hissssss. Stupid girls I thought one of them made out my fave because we locked gave for a brief and after giving out intel to her other friend the one with the loud mouth wey dey condemn Nighaboi Lexus because of my own benz that night, She made for where we sat.

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Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by DSC7: 8:01am On Dec 05, 2021
Happy Sunday to you all cool.......


Oga Dodo feed us more Abegggggg... grin...

1 Like

Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by Twelvedemon12(m): 8:53am On Dec 05, 2021
Chairman Weldon o happy Sunday grin
Re: Life Of A Broke Yahoo Guy (Fictional ) by dodoatirice: 10:19am On Dec 05, 2021
I forgot to say, Niggaboi fixed the Lexus that He previously crashed. But he told me of how he had his eyes on my type of Suv, i told him not to worry about it because i was paying the price for such a sleek expensive ride and for sure it gave me all the levels and attention I didn’t bargain for and I’d mention respect too but then, it came at a price. I made him understand that I’d trade The Benz and all the other vanities i had acquired for peace of mind, peace of mind even if it was only for one day. A day of peace. I told him, could trade all that stuff for the life Niggaboi lived even if it was a life of crime but atleast he had peace of mind and could travel, have kids etc. we spoke about about these before I noticed the pata nla girls that we previously encountered. One of the Pata nla aproached our table and just ignored Niggaboi completely and spoke to me direct in. A way that i got thinking if they remembered the events of the night they disappeared after we left the hospital and i was on seizures. This werey fat yanch even do like say anything (that’s good anyway i thought). The fat yanch asked if we could hangout together that day and pointed to her friend, the other fat yanch. I asked her why she wasn’t saying hi to Niggaboi atleast they both know him. Then she said a watery ‘hi’ to him and i said ok that me and Niggaboi was in the middle of something before she cut us short and that she should go back to her seat and that when we are ready we’ll signal them. She said okay and left. I asked Niggaboi whatsup and he said ‘no problem’ okay then i thought. E no even tey e be like say the fat yanch wey come follow me reason go tell the other one say i say make dem join our table. Na so dem park all their stuffs on the other table come join out own table. girls sha!

Me and Nighaboi couldn’t continue our conversation like we were doing. Like this girls came and took over our own table for us completely ignoring Nighaboi still but dude kept his cool. They kept giving me attention and directing their discussion to me alone. It was time to go al of us, the girls made it seem like they were for me and me alone. We approached the parking lot, i Made for my Benzo and Niggaboi to his 2010 Rx350 suv. Well that got head turning but then the fat yanches still decided i had more levels and they both came and sat with me in my car. Before i drove away from the parking lot, Niggaboi had sent me a text and asked where we were headed, i told him we’d just go chill out at the beach and shii. Asked about the siezure again i told him not to worry okay he said. Then he gave me intel that he’d like to deal with those girls. Okay comrade. Zoom zoom, Atican Beach Ajah.

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