I think you should work on your state of mind and also try to put her back to what attracted you to her. That made you got married to her. If its her clothings you should ancourage her to sometimes ware such clothes again in the house and also encourage her to ware good perfume and sometimes watch romantic movies with her. It might help

maipeople:
This is genuine advice.

Thank you

You welcome.

Send me her number since you're not up to the task. If you do not want her anymore, let her go, don't waste her time. Her body belongs to you and your body belongs to her.. So, crank her engines

Well it happens just figure on telling and teaching her to do what makes other ladies out there sexually attractive to you...... Sure you find some ladies attractive look out on the those key things and tell your wife ...I hope this helps ...cos marriage can he boring when this comes in....shalom

Op, sex in marriage (every marriage) is boring. That’s one thing you need to know. Even if you married the most sexually attractive person in the world, after only a few years of marriage, the sex will become boring. That’s why married people with no self control tend to cheat in marriage.

On average, most married couple have sex only a couple of times per month, if at all. There was a headline cover in the TIME Magazine a few years ago entitled: “No Sex, We’re Married “.

Hence, a happy marriage should be built on something other than sex. Find something interesting to do together with your wife: travels, movies, sports etc.


O pari

isaacology3000:
I and my wife met through her senior sister who happens to be my friend and also my toaster.

I ended up falling in love with my wife through her sister who claims we can't date because we're of age bracket.

We courts for 6 years before getting married to her and blessed with a beautiful daughter.

Lately I don't find her attractive to me anymore. She's the one begging for sex before I consider her once or twice in a month.
Please nairalanders, I need advice what could cause it and what should I do because I don't want to loose my marriage.

For a man not to find a woman sexually attractive is a lie. There are some exceptions - relative, not clean or older like in her 70's.
There is something else which you are not telling us :-
- That you are messing around with someone else outside and do not find your wife fulfills your sexual appetite.
- You feel she was forced upon you and that she is not attractive enough for you or meets your standard.

You have chooses.

- You can have a meeting and tell her that you would want to separate amicably - . Your reason however is shallow and I doubt you'll find that emotional support you are looking for here.

- You could buy her sexy laundry, show her that " dirty movie" you like to watch and tell her you are not fulfilled sexually. Invest in the relationship. Take her shopping and change her wardrobe. We ( men) are physical beings - when we see something we get a spark.

- Communicate feelings - How can you make this work ? If that is only the Issue you have with her - You don't find her sexually attractive. So she is okay 90% but is failing in 10%. There are other women who are sexually attractive but lack in other areas. The grass is not always greener on the other side.

- Marriage or union is something you work out. There is something called the 7 years itch. Where you get bored ? You have to rediscover your feelings, have your aunt take your child for the weekend and spend time just the two of you.

GoodLuck

don't worry just travel for like 3 months if u start missing her definitely when u come back u go de very hot for her,trust me am talking from experience.

If your wife is not beautiful it's your fault - Pastor W.F Kumuyi. Maybe you need to spend some money on her or allow her to get to the hand of those that will appreciate her and spend on her, then you will realize she's still very much attractive to you

isaacology3000:
I and my wife met through her senior sister who happens to be my friend and also my toaster.

I ended up falling in love with my wife through her sister who claims we can't date because we're of age bracket.

We courts for 6 years before getting married to her and blessed with a beautiful daughter.

Lately I don't find her attractive to me anymore. She's the one begging for sex before I consider her once or twice in a month.
Please nairalanders, I need advice what could cause it and what should I do because I don't want to loose my marriage.

This is a very wrong advice bro.

isaacology3000:
I and my wife met through her senior sister who happens to be my friend and also my toaster.

I ended up falling in love with my wife through her sister who claims we can't date because we're of age bracket.

We courts for 6 years before getting married to her and blessed with a beautiful daughter.

Lately I don't find her attractive to me anymore. She's the one begging for sex before I consider her once or twice in a month.
Please nairalanders, I need advice what could cause it and what should I do because I don't want to loose my marriage.

If you are watching porn or masturbating, please stop it...it could be the cause.
Another cause is maybe your wife is not packaging well again...if so, talk to her about it

isaacology3000:
I and my wife met through her senior sister who happens to be my friend and also my toaster.

I ended up falling in love with my wife through her sister who claims we can't date because we're of age bracket.

We courts for 6 years before getting married to her and blessed with a beautiful daughter.

Lately I don't find her attractive to me anymore. She's the one begging for sex before I consider her once or twice in a month.
Please nairalanders, I need advice what could cause it and what should I do because I don't want to loose my marriage.

You think the wife is also not tired of him? You think she doesn't come across more handsome younger men daily who can do what the husband is starving her of? It's all about self discipline, anyone can get tired of a spouse at any time, but one must learn self discipline.

Manshot1:
The Pusssy don tire you I think. It is a normal for most married Men but they can't say the truth. This nigga here is saying the truth. My married friends complain the same too but they dare not say it out in public.

Sleeping with one same woman for years. Una no dey tire you?

I experienced such after 3yrs of our marriage. These are the things I did.

1. I prayed that God make her attractive to me again.

2. I pondered about what attracted me to her at the beginning.

3. I consciously looked away from her weaknesses and complimented her.

4. I never say NO when she makes the move no matter how tired I am.

Sincerely, sometimes we make love up to six times per week when we're less busy.

FreeIgboho:


What do you mean? Same way you can start losing interest in the egusi soup you used to love, if you are begged to eat it everyday

Aren't there couples who have been in marriage for decades? No be there same eguisi them still dey eat?

ahnie:

Save your breathe...he has already gone outside.

Lmaooooo bloody

AvalonSpace:
Aren't there couples who have been in marriage for decades? No be there same eguisi them still dey eat?

Well you asked how he can possibly lose interest. That's how. Of course there are exceptions to everything, but the normal human behavior is to start losing interest in something that's always there and in overabundance

We courts for 6 years before getting married to her and blessed with a beautiful daughter.


This were the problems started, you have gone with her within that 6years courtship, now u want to abandoned her for another lady abiii, guy collect sence

FreeIgboho:


But we are not talking any woman. We are talking your own wife that you already have affection for and have interests in common.

"Sex is a mental game. If you position your thought well, no woman is unattractive."
This was the statement you made that forced me to quote you in disagreement.
Talking about the woman you marry, I agree with you that no man has the right to complain that his wife is unattractive. There must be something about her that you find attractive before you decided to marry her. Focus on it. If you can't focus on it, blame yourself.
As for me, attraction is three dimensional, because we are three dimensional beings. A woman's body, soul and spirit must attract me before I can have sex with her. Considering her body, for example, any physical attribute that made her different from men is what I found attractive. A woman with hairy body doesn't look different from men. A woman with a strong body; A woman with flat chest and flat ass doesn't look different from men. As far as I am not gay, I can't feel sexually attracted to such women because I believe any man that is attracted to such women can be attracted to a fellow man.
When she has a soft, succulent, smooth body... When she has boobs and ass that is big enough to be noticed, then she arouse my sexual interest. In fact, the more she posses those features that made her different from men, the more I will found her sexually attractive.
As for her soul, if she has good character/manners, it will attract me. If she's a God fearing person, her Spirit will also attract me.
Sorry to bother you with this story:
When I was about 18 years old, there was a girl in my church choir that was my namesake. She was so fond of me and anytime we finish choir practice, she'll be all over me. Other guys in the choir and even our choir master were getting jealous because she has big boobs and a good shape. My guys were telling me that I am so lucky that a 16 year old girl with such big, standing boobs is falling for me. They were sure she was still a virgin, so they were begging me to start banging her before another man will do that with her. The truth is: she was doing everything possible for me to bang her, but I wasn't interested. She was disrespectful, ill-mannered, and her character was extremely disgusting. Anytime she comes close to me, I will find her body very attractive, but her soul very disgusting.
She was living with just her mother, so when her mother traveled for 1 month, she came to my house and told my mum that she can't sleep alone in their house, that she will be coming every night to sleep with my sister, as she was close to her. I was the only one that knows the reason why she leaves all her relatives houses and chose my house as her sleeping point. Some days, she'll come since afternoon and stay till night. I didn't want anyone in my house to suspect that she want sex from me, so every night she comes around, I will leave the house as if I am going to sleep outside. When she enter my sisters room to sleep, I will come back into my room and sleep. One night, she followed me as I went out. On the way, we met one of our choir guys, and he decided to follow us to where we were going. When I reached my friend's place and entered his room, she Followed me in. My friend quickly leave the room for us only to meet the other guy standing outside. They both decided to lock us in. The girl quickly lie on the bed while I relaxed in a chair. Before 5 minutes, she complained that the room is hot and removed her top, remaining only bra and the short skirt she put on. The moment I took a glance at her, my dick became super charged. I was struggling so hard to cage my dick between my thighs so that she won't notice my erection. I had to focus on the pictures in the room to avoid looking at her. When thoughts of sex crossed my mind, I'll ask myself, what if I pregnate her an I'm forced to marry her? Will I be able to cope with her bad manners and disgusting character for the rest of my life?
After about 2 hours, the guy finally opened the door. The girl quickly put on her top and leave the room with a frowned face, heading straight to her house. My friend came in and blasted me: "How can a girl with such assets (something other men can kill to have) be following you around almost begging you to sleep with her and you waste the opportunity? Are you normal at all?".
Since that night she stop coming to my house and always frowns her face anywhere she sees me even up till now that she's a matured woman with 3 children. I still applaud myself for being able to overcome such temptation as a teenager (something older men and even most married men of today cannot overcome).
Now, I am over 30, yet I haven't changed. I still maintained that any man who finds every woman attractive is not a normal being.

marriage issue and Nigeria problem are now 5 and 6 pls for the singles is like this people are making us afraid of marriage

Klass99:


If you don't mind my asking, what caused your loss of sexual interest? Or rather why were you no longer sexually attracted to your wife?

You mean the bold happens now? I find it interesting that's all.

I believe my loss of interest was due to:

1. Sharp differences at times, it took us seven years to understand ourselves to avoid petty quarrel.

2. Stress due to my daily activities.

3. Her lack of submission as I wanted.

That's on an average, sometimes it could be more or less depending on our busy schedule. We enjoy every process of our love making.

FreeIgboho:


It is good advice if done well. He can get himself sexually aroused then bleep his wife. It's a slight mental shift - if he stops insisting the initial arousal must come from his wife, he'd be able to bleep his wife a lot more.

he'd later get tired of it and might start / want to experiment outside

FreeIgboho:
Easy. Find some girl image you find very arousing (maybe through porn - just once) then think that image to get aroused to bleep. No need to go outside

*This made front page??
Well, FTC!!!!!!!°°°°••••••°°°°°°FTC!!!!
Help me celebrate!
BTW, never mind my moniker - I don't care if Igboho is freed or not, him and his fake ass juju

made FTC with a shitty comment Lol

I was in that situation not too long ago and that was because of multiple miscarriages that my wife had and so also she is getting fatter

I simply told her to be sleeping without pant and make sure she puts on only t-shirts to sleep..cuddling and touching will make b;ack mamba reply....

FreeIgboho:


Well you asked how he can possibly lose interest. That's how. Of course there are exceptions to everything, but the normal human behavior is to start losing interest in something that's always there and in overabundance

It's true anyway, but he should seek a council.

gentlegenius:

"Sex is a mental game. If you position your thought well, no woman is unattractive."
This was the statement you made that forced me to quote you in disagreement.
Talking about the woman you marry, I agree with you that no man has the right to complain that his wife is unattractive. There must be something about her that you find attractive before you decided to marry her. Focus on it. If you can't focus on it, blame yourself.
As for me, attraction is three dimensional, because we are three dimensional beings. A woman's body, soul and spirit must attract me before I can have sex with her. Considering her body, for example, any physical attribute that made her different from men is what I found attractive. A woman with hairy body doesn't look different from men. A woman with a strong body; A woman with flat chest and flat ass doesn't look different from men. As far as I am not gay, I can't feel sexually attracted to such women because I believe any man that is attracted to such women can be attracted to a fellow man.
When she has a soft, succulent, smooth body... When she has boobs and ass that is big enough to be noticed, then she arouse my sexual interest. In fact, the more she posses those features that made her different from men, the more I will found her sexually attractive.
As for her soul, if she has good character/manners, it will attract me. If she's a God fearing person, her Spirit will also attract me.
Sorry to bother you with this story:
When I was about 18 years old, there was a girl in my church choir that was my namesake. She was so fond of me and anytime we finish choir practice, she'll be all over me. Other guys in the choir and even our choir master were getting jealous because she has big boobs and a good shape. My guys were telling me that I am so lucky that a 16 year old girl with such big, standing boobs is falling for me. They were sure she was still a virgin, so they were begging me to start banging her before another man will do that with her. The truth is: she was doing everything possible for me to bang her, but I wasn't interested. She was disrespectful, ill-mannered, and her character was extremely disgusting. Anytime she comes close to me, I will find her body very attractive, but her soul very disgusting.
She was living with just her mother, so when her mother traveled for 1 month, she came to my house and told my mum that she can't sleep alone in their house, that she will be coming every night to sleep with my sister, as she was close to her. I was the only one that knows the reason why she leaves all her relatives houses and chose my house as her sleeping point. Some days, she'll come since afternoon and stay till night. I didn't want anyone in my house to suspect that she want sex from me, so every night she comes around, I will leave the house as if I am going to sleep outside. When she enter my sisters room to sleep, I will come back into my room and sleep. One night, she followed me as I went out. On the way, we met one of our choir guys, and he decided to follow us to where we were going. When I reached my friend's place and entered his room, she Followed me in. My friend quickly leave the room for us only to meet the other guy standing outside. They both decided to lock us in. The girl quickly lie on the bed while I relaxed in a chair. Before 5 minutes, she complained that the room is hot and removed her top, remaining only bra and the short skirt she put on. The moment I took a glance at her, my dick became super charged. I was struggling so hard to cage my dick between my thighs so that she won't notice my erection. I had to focus on the pictures in the room to avoid looking at her. When thoughts of sex crossed my mind, I'll ask myself, what if I pregnate her an I'm forced to marry her? Will I be able to cope with her bad manners and disgusting character for the rest of my life?
After about 2 hours, the guy finally opened the door. The girl quickly put on her top and leave the room with a frowned face, heading straight to her house. My friend came in and blasted me: "How can a girl with such assets (something other men can kill to have) be following you around almost begging you to sleep with her and you waste the opportunity? Are you normal at all?".
Since that night she stop coming to my house and always frowns her face anywhere she sees me even up till now that she's a matured woman with 3 children. I still applaud myself for being able to overcome such temptation as a teenager (something older men and even most married men of today cannot overcome).
Now, I am over 30, yet I haven't changed. I still eemaintained that any man who finds every woman attractive is not a normal being.

Thanks for the story.
My point is that it is mostly what's happening in your head that determines sexuaity - so it can be you that control that. Hence men and women can orgasm using all sorts of inanimate objects, talkless of a live human being. Are they attracted to those objects? NO. But they are NOT thinking of those objects. They are thinking whatever makes them orgasm. My point is, they can equally do same with ANY human of opposite sex - if they wish to.

Incredible128:
he'd later get tired of it and might start / want to experiment outside

Anybody can want to experiment outside - even those attracted to their wives.
The point is to get aroused and be sexually satisfied (with your wife as the beneficiary). My point is that it can be easily accomplished if you don't insist on your wife providing the initial arousal.

OmoOshodi:
Elder....getat

See your life, children everywhere.
Marriage is not funfare, not for children.
Marriage is men not boys.

Richy4:
What hits me like a brick was the statement.." she was the one begging for sex"

If you set her up for infidelity, make sure you don't come here again crying that she was cheating on you...

I'm not gonna ask why u are not finding her attractive because 6years in courtship is even enough to reduce those sparks in a relationship... Not to talk of adding marriage to it...

From a bro code levels, I believe Bros got imaginary image of how they want their spouses to look but can never voice it out due to some circumstances beyond our control... Why not actualize your own imaginary image of how u want her to be... buy those things if possible that u Envision her on, look for a baby sitter for a night, take her out on a cheap date.. rekindle those sparks...

By the time wey one or two neighbors begin compliment her now and she responds enthusiastically for your presence, u go begin look for DNA... And all the DNA crew members will arrive here to back U up.. please do the right thing...

FreeIgboho:
Easy. Find some girl image you find very arousing (maybe through porn - just once) then think that image to get aroused to bleep. No need to go outside

*This made front page??
Well, FTC!!!!!!!°°°°••••••°°°°°°FTC!!!!
Help me celebrate!
BTW, never mind my moniker - I don't care if Igboho is freed or not, him and his fake ass juju

hahahahahahahaha some men don suffer....Image niiii...what if him come forget the image...LMAO

chatinent:
If you don't find her sexually attractive, you must learn to make her sexually attractive since it is the only option you have.

Say no to extramarital affairs...and believe me, that bell ringing that she's not sexually attractive is just your head!

I learned so much from this post.... thanks for posting it.....