frankdre:
hahahahahahahaha some men don suffer....Image niiii...what if him come forget the image...LMAO

Doesn't have to be image. Can be a scenario - as long as as it's something you find very arousing!

Let another man fucvvvk her then maybe you will appreciate her

isaacology3000:
I and my wife met through her senior sister who happens to be my friend and also my toaster.

I ended up falling in love with my wife through her sister who claims we can't date because we're of age bracket.

We courts for 6 years before getting married to her and blessed with a beautiful daughter.

Lately I don't find her attractive to me anymore. She's the one begging for sex before I consider her once or twice in a month.
Please nairalanders, I need advice what could cause it and what should I do because I don't want to loose my marriage.

Be careful my dear,very soon she will start going outside oo to get that which u are starving her, So later don't come here to complain oo

Mercychen:
I wonder how some men come up to say such things but easily find prostitutes sexually attractive enough to patronize them.

Now, my question is , what changed?
Did her body become loose after child birth?
Did her boobs stop being perky or what? Cos i know for most men with this kind of issue, it's always changes in the woman's body that come with child bearing that causes the drop in attraction.

Op, it's just only one child and you're already tired. Hope there's no other girl in the picture. It may not even be physical but mental picture? you sure you're not having someone else in mind?

The thing is, you have to bring your mind back home and stop trying to compare her to other women.

"See finish" can also be at play here like pastor Kumuyi rightly said in a post yesterday.
Maybe you need some time away from her ( not separation). Like take a trip out or something so you can miss her. Trust me this works.

I remember my experience with my ex. Whenever I was tired of his face and felt like dumping him for no reason, I'll just run off to another location for a month. By the time I get back, the attraction will feel all new and the relationship sweet again. So, "see finish" can be a contributing factor here.

Take a trip.

But you still dumped your Ex. So what is the essence of this advice now?

Danisaint112:


But you still dump your Ex. So what is the essence of this advice?

Ex was a boyfriend, not a husband.

Well, I made some critical lifes decisions (that was important and necessary for my spiritual growth as a Christian) that affected our relationship and so we had to part ways.

No regrets whatsoever.

FreeIgboho:
Easy. Find some girl image you find very arousing (maybe through porn - just once) then think that image to get aroused to bleep. No need to go outside

*This made front page??
Well, FTC!!!!!!!°°°°••••••°°°°°°FTC!!!!
Help me celebrate!
BTW, never mind my moniker - I don't care if Igboho is freed or not, him and his fake ass juju

Una eye don de clear for igboho matters.

Iyaebe:
This is how some of you drives your wife into cheating, why should your wife beg you for sex? Instead of her to change it for you and go stone cold too she's begging for it.

The man needs help and he's not afraid of speaking up. Your post wasn't in any way of help, just blame blame.

mariahAngel:


That you no longer find your wife attractive doesn’t mean other men don’t find her attractive.
If you keep making her beg for (what is hers) your attention, a time will come when she will stop.
Don’t come complaining when she eventually gets tired of your shakara and starts accepting the attention freely offered to her elsewhere.
By then, she no go send you again!

Our female here don't understand that this is a problem for the man himself. Well, I don't blame us, because we don't understand this kind of issues just like many Nigerians don't understand or believe that depression is real.
It is wrong to guilt trip any man or woman going through this kind of shiiit, doing so means that you understand what they are going through.
It shouldn't be an avenue to heap blame but to be supportive and be a part of help. This is not an issue of "let me take side with my gender" mentality.

FreeIgboho:
Easy. Find some girl image you find very arousing (maybe through porn - just once) then think that image to get aroused to bleep. No need to go outside

While this may work for a while but it's not going to be a permanent solution. He still needs to address the root cause.

authority2006:


While this may work for a while but it's not going to be a permanent solution. He still needs to address the root cause.

It can actually be a permanent solution. There are two advantages to it: one, he will know his wife will not be attractive to other men (if he is the jealous type), 2) he'll last longer in bed and be more in control of things generally due to reduced sensitivity

Caseless:


Una eye don de clear for igboho matters.

My eye no clear anything o.
I just picked a moniker based on what's trending at the time. I never cared one whit either way

Mercychen:
I wonder how some men come up to say such things but easily find prostitutes sexually attractive enough to patronize them.

Now, my question is , what changed?
Did her body become loose after child birth?
Did her boobs stop being perky or what? Cos i know for most men with this kind of issue, it's always changes in the woman's body that come with child bearing that causes the drop in attraction.

Op, it's just only one child and you're already tired. Hope there's no other girl in the picture. It may not even be physical but mental picture? you sure you're not having someone else in mind?

The thing is, you have to bring your mind back home and stop trying to compare her to other women.

"See finish" can also be at play here like pastor Kumuyi rightly said in a post yesterday.
Maybe you need some time away from her ( not separation). <b>Like take a trip out or something so you can miss her. </b> Trust me this works.

I remember my experience with my ex. Whenever I was tired of his face and felt like dumping him for no reason, I'll just run off to another location for a month. By the time I get back, the attraction will feel all new and the relationship sweet again. So, "see finish" can be a contributing factor here.

Take a trip.

@ The bolded. that really works Trust me. Sometimes as a man or woman married for some years, see finish always happen. you can get tired of your spouse in marriage ( especially sex). It happened to me with my wife of almost 4 years and bro if you see me wife (very pretty). I know that and she is never short of wealthy admirers both offline and online. She complained about our sex life but i try to give her anything she ask for ask. but i know deep down i was not seeing was other men outside were dieing to have. when work took me a way for about 3 months we were separated, then i found my spark back.

fxexperts:


@ The bolded. that really works Trust me. Sometimes as a man or woman married for some years, see finish always happen. you can get tired of your spouse in marriage ( especially sex). It happened to me with my wife of almost 4 years and bro if you see me wife (very pretty). I know that and she is never short of wealthy admirers both offline and online. She complained about our sex life but i try to give her anything she ask for ask. but i know deep down i was not seeing was other men outside were dieing to have. when work took me a way for about 3 months we were separated, then i found my spark back.

Wow....
OP, I hope you can see this??

Thanks for sharing. This will go a long way.

FreeIgboho:


It can actually be a permanent solution. There are two advantages to it: one, he will know his wife will not be attractive to other men (if he is the jealous type), 2) he'll last longer in bed and be more in control of things generally due to reduced sensitivity

It can never be no matter the number of advantages, this approach is called window dressing. He needs to understand why his wife no longer sexually appeal to him anymore and work on that problem.

Klass99:


Interesting feedback, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and experience. Now it's 21 questions - In what ways did your taste change? Can you briefly describe how, with real life examples?

When you talk about exposure, do you mean in terms of sexual exploits or a world view exposure where a person becomes better informed, more enlightened and well rounded as an individual?

I can see how being more exposed sexually can ruin things for a couple, I am just now reminded of a colleague Jenny (not real name) from my very first job who was separated from her husband and there was talk of a possible divorce.

Jenny was a very open and candid person, when I asked why she was separated and leaning towards a divorce, she said her hubby was in the habit of pulling stunts in the bedroom she wasn't comfortable with and he always wanted things that weirded her out, hence the separation.

One issue she mentioned was anal sex and an instance where if hubby was taking her dog style he would insert his finger into her asshole and finger fvck her azz as well. Apologies for the vulgar description, I couldn't find a prim and proper way to narrate her experience without distorting it. Hubby had lived in the United States for a time and acquired some sexual tastes, Jenny was really struggling with.

Your question is hard because It is a bit more personal. My taste changed basically after I became close friends with a couple of good looking & smarter women at my workplace. All of a sudden the thought of I can do better started to creep in & she became less attractive as time went on. Ageism also didn't favor her, from my observation some people look more beautiful / handsome as they grow while others look less attractive as their late 20s creep in, so it's a gift to some while a curse to others.

About the anal sex you mentioned, I've met someone like that & your narrated story seems familiar because she always points me to that direction which wasn't pleasant & I was not interested. So I asked where she learnt it from, she said it was her Ex. Apparently this exposure get cemented in her mind & she moved it onto the next relationship.

You also mentioned US, a lot of American Born Nigerians are very liberal, I have heard too many stories from them that I can't even share. That's probably the only drawbacks of bringing up your infant children in America.

authority2006:


It can never be no matter the number of advantages, this approach is called window dressing. He needs to understand why his wife no longer sexually appeal to him anymore and work on that problem.

Oh, there are a lot of things we all need to understand. But life will not wait till we understand. This is a good solution till understanding occurs, and if it never occurs, this can be a good permanent solution.

Are you attractive yourself?I just hate men who whine gosh!you just confessed she has a sister could you have a secret longing for her?why don't you talk candidly to your wife help around the house,let her have time to pamper herself take time to pray good luck

I suppose that you have to talk to your wife about this issue if you really value these relationships. Of course, it's kinda difficult to make yourself to start such a conversation, however I believe that couples always have to talk to each other on various matters in order to keep their relationships or marriage safe. You should think about it and understand that you're not ideal too, hence you have to accept your wife just the way she is. Moreover, you can ask her to go to the gym in order to keep fit and maybe in this case you will be satisfide with everything. Remember that you also should go to the gym in order to maintain her.