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I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? - Family - Nairaland

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I Am 20 And My Mom Wants To Throw Me Out. / Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually / I'm Not Happy With My Mom's Behaviour Towards My Adopted Sister (2) (3) (4)

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I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Supreme145(m): 8:49am On Sep 10, 2021
Good morning N'landers, I will make this post as brief and concise as possible.

Some months ago while I was home on break from school, I visited one of my in-laws that owns a school to introduce a software to him for his school. The man complained that I was too distant from him, citing how I never call him or ask him for favours whenever I'm in school. I told him I will reach out to him more often.

I told my mom about my visit and she told me without mincing words to resist collecting money from the man. My mom is the religious type and has been skeptical about the man's source of wealth.

When school resumed things were difficult at home and I couldn't resume school. I spent close to three months after resumption at home due to lack of funds.
Note that since my admission from my first year to my final year, I've never asked any relative for help no received any help from anyone aside my immediate family.

I lost my resolve not to ask for help when my project supervisor called me and scolded me over the phone for my inability to resume school. I sent the man a text soliciting for help, he sent me 5k which I added to the little I had and resumed school. I didn't tell my mom because I knew she won't be happy about it.

In school things were so hard for me, during a particular period I went almost one week living on just water, that period I'm sure I would eaten food sacrificed to a deity if I had access to one. I called the man again and he reluctantly sent me 4k after many calls and text messages.

This early morning I got a phone call from my mom, she was crying over the phone. She was hurt and said I betrayed her because I went behind her back to collected money from a man she told me to avoid. She said that singular act of mine has destroyed all her efforts and prayers to break us free from bondage. I tired to explain that the money wasnt a physical cash hence it has no effect on me but to no avail. She said I've broken her for life and she would never forgive me.

I have a very close relationship with my mom and everything she told me really hurt me and I'm confused on the action to take. I am 28 but I hardly hide anything from her, I didn't tell her about the money because I know she wouldn't approve of it and I needed it. This is the first time any relative has contributed to my education ever. I don't even know how she got to know.

Please how do I pacify her and get her to forgive me? I really love my mom and can't bear to see her this heartbroken.

33 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by ValCon888: 8:58am On Sep 10, 2021
Since it wasn't a physical cash gift, find a way to retrieve the man's account number and resend the money back to him.

53 Likes 6 Shares

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by yomi007k(m): 9:00am On Sep 10, 2021
Fantabulous....


This must be some African magic stuff.


You self no try. If things are hard for you then you should have called your mum.

If she don't want any help from outsiders then I guess it's becos she believes she is capable.

You need to ask her the way forward.

126 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Romanoff(f): 9:01am On Sep 10, 2021
She is your mum and I kind of understand where she's coming from, especially if you have a very spiritual mother.

If you had asked her reasons why she doesn't want you taking money from the man or other relatives, I believe you'd have understood her position.

The deed has been done now, just beg her as much as you can, tell her to forgive you and ask her how you can make it better.

In order to prevent asking relatives for money for school, get busy during the holidays or on your free time.

If it's site work, manual labour, washing and cleaning for people, do it so you can self reliant.

99 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Franzinni: 9:06am On Sep 10, 2021
Love conquers all.. From the look of things your mom knows what she is talking about ... the heart of man is not wicked... but desperately wicked.

My 2kobo. Is go and meet her one on one and let her see how sorry you are .. the love of a good mother has no end.

But guy you make your mama cry like that ..omo better carry nice gift follow body too. ... Just make her happy and laugh because a good laugh can brighten the soul.

Peace

50 Likes

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Righteousness2(m): 9:08am On Sep 10, 2021
The World is a Mystery! Your Mum might be In the Know of Certain things you do not know or Understand.

Since you went against her instructions, I Hope you also Prayed before making use of the money.

Apologize to her. Make her understand how sorry you are for disobeying her.
Most Important, Draw close to GOD.

35 Likes

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by daddytime(m): 9:09am On Sep 10, 2021
Kai...

You really broke mummy's heart and I can only imagine how hurt and disappointed she feels at you.

The best you can do is to keep begging for her forgiveness.

Wetin elder siddon for chair dey see for front, even when small pikin climb ladder him no go fit see am.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Supreme145(m): 9:13am On Sep 10, 2021
yomi007k:
Fantabulous....


This must be some African magic stuff.


You self no try. If things are hard for you then you should have called your mum.

If she don't want any help from outsiders then I guess it's becos she believes she is capable.

You need to ask her the way forward.
She knows my struggles but she didn't have, I only called the man because I had exhausted other options

2 Likes

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Richy4(m): 9:14am On Sep 10, 2021
Abeg make una educate meoo... What is this physical cash gift and online cash gift u people were emphasizing on? What is the difference smiley?... That online cash Juju and physical cash Juju are different? cheesy

Maybe, she wants some bragging rights unto singlehandedly training a graduate.. not knowing what u were passing through... To think that u destroyed that right gave her a sleepless night... How can she now share those right? Just give her a week to process and digest the whole scenario.. she will be fine

82 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Supreme145(m): 9:16am On Sep 10, 2021
Romanoff:
She is your mum and I kind of understand where she's coming from, especially if you have a very spiritual mother.

If you had asked her reasons why she doesn't want you taking money from the man or other relatives, I believe you'd have understood her position.

The deed has been done now, just beg her as much as you can, tell her to forgive you and ask her how you can make it better.

In order to prevent asking relatives for money for school, get busy during the holidays or on your free time.

If it's site work, manual labour, washing and cleaning for people, do it so you can self reliant.
My dear if its about working to be self reliant, forget that one, there's no kind of legitimate hustle I don't involve myself in to survive, I take care of over 80% of my school expenses. Things been just choke for me.

20 Likes

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by falcon01: 9:18am On Sep 10, 2021
Mcheew I'm angry at this, the fact that Parents have to Drag children into their superstitious beliefs, and personal Life choices haba!! Buddy, truth is we all need help one way or the other, what you did wasn't wrong and I want you to know Parents make mistake and because they are our parents doesn't mean they are perfect or know it all. Don't feel bad about what you did

130 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Romanoff(f): 9:20am On Sep 10, 2021
Supreme145:

My dear if its about working to be self reliant, forget that one, there's no kind of legitimate hustle I don't involve myself in to survive, I take care of over 80% of my school expenses. Things been just choke for me.

I pray things work out for you. I understand what it means to have no one else. This is coming from someone who lost her dad at 19.

Like I said, just keep asking your mum for forgiveness, she's your mum, she will eventually forgive you.

10 Likes

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Supreme145(m): 9:20am On Sep 10, 2021
Franzinni:
Love conquers all.. From the look of things your mom knows what she is talking about ... the heart of man is not wicked... but desperately wicked.

My 2kobo. Is go and meet her one on one and let her see how sorry you are .. the love of a good mother has no end.

But guy you make your mama cry like that ..omo better carry nice gift follow body too. ... Just make her happy and laugh because a good laugh can brighten the soul.

Peace
I school very far from home and I am not going back any soon because I intend staying back in my location to hustle after graduation. I am thinking of calling her later in the evening when her anger must have subsided.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Supreme145(m): 9:22am On Sep 10, 2021
Romanoff:


I pray things work out for you. I understand what it means to have no one else. This is coming from someone who lost her dad at 19.

Like I said, just keep asking your mum for forgiveness, she's your mum, she will eventually forgive you.
Thank you....I will keep begging her, because all my struggle is to put smiles on her face. I just hope she forgives me.

7 Likes

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by MufasaLion: 9:23am On Sep 10, 2021
Why do parents put their kids in unnecessary drama? Superstitious beliefs will keep ruining many.

24 Likes

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Nobody: 9:25am On Sep 10, 2021
Sorry I thought he's just a small boy in school. I didn't know he's 28 years. I missed that part.

64 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Supreme145(m): 9:27am On Sep 10, 2021
falcon01:
Mcheew I'm angry at this, the fact that Parents have to Drag children into their superstitious beliefs, and personal Life choices haba!! Buddy, truth is we all need help one way or the other, what you did wasn't wrong and I want you to know Parents make mistake and because they are our parents doesn't mean they are perfect or know it all. Don't feel bad about what you did
I share your sentiment reason I collected the money because I don't see how someone can alter my destiny with money I withdrew from the ATM, I never knew she would react this way. I'm just concerned about her feelings

9 Likes

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by bmdmix11: 9:27am On Sep 10, 2021
Supreme145:
Good morning N'landers, I will make this post as brief and concise as possible.

Some months ago while I was home on break from school, I visited one of my in-laws that owns a school to introduce a software to him for his school. The man complained that I was too distant from him, citing how I never call him or ask him for favours whenever I'm in school. I told him I will reach out to him more often.

I told my mom about my visit and she told me without mincing words to resist collecting money from the man. My mom is the religious type and has been skeptical about the man's source of wealth.

When school resumed things were difficult at home and I couldn't resume school. I spent close to three months after resumption at home due to lack of funds.
Note that since my admission from my first year to my final year, I've never asked any relative for help no received any help from anyone aside my immediate family.

I lost my resolve not to ask for help when my project supervisor called me and scolded me over the phone for my inability to resume school. I sent the man a text soliciting for help, he sent me 5k which I added to the little I had and resumed school. I didn't tell my mom because I knew she won't be happy about it.

In school things were so hard for me, during a particular period I went almost one week living on just water, that period I'm sure I would eaten food sacrificed to a deity if I had access to one. I called the man again and he reluctantly sent me 4k after many calls and text messages.

This early morning I got a phone call from my mom, she was crying over the phone. She was hurt and said I betrayed her because I went behind her back to collected money from a man she told me to avoid. She said that singular act of mine has destroyed all her efforts and prayers to break us free from bondage. I tired to explain that the money wasnt a physical cash hence it has no effect on me but to no avail. She said I've broken her for life and she would never forgive me.

I have a very close relationship with my mom and everything she told me really hurt me and I'm confused on the action to take. I am 28 but I hardly hide anything from her, I didn't tell her about the money because I know she wouldn't approve of it and I needed it. This is the first time any relative has contributed to my education ever. I don't even know how she got to know.

Please how do I pacify her and get her to forgive me? I really love my mom and can't bear to see her this heartbroken.
ur like my mum are d issues Africans have everything is demon witch but trust me dey eill gladly carry money give pastor n suffer because pastor say.

u better do what makes u survive because she will drag u down (ur mum)

8 Likes

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Romanoff(f): 9:29am On Sep 10, 2021
Supreme145:

Thank you....I will keep begging her, because all my struggle is to put smiles on her face. I just hope she forgives me.

She will.
Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Nobody: 9:29am On Sep 10, 2021
Some of the naira note in circulation comes from many illegal sources, we use them without caring about any "spiritual effect" because we are more interested in settling bills .

In my opinion, Your mum is too religious, which one is you have stop the process of breaking your family from "spritual bondage" because you collected money from an uncle.

Also, your uncle manipulated you in making himself feel important When he asked you, the reason why you are not close to him, the reason is to draw you near, so that you can depend on him.

Try to be independent and never ask any money from family members.

Don't ask money from your uncle again, not because of your mother but because your uncle is someone who is manipulative and narcissistic

19 Likes

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Supreme145(m): 9:30am On Sep 10, 2021
Mmadu2:


With all due respect if your mom can't provide food for you and you have to starve for a whole week and you had to skip school for 3 whole months, you have every right to beg for help from a relative or friend even if he's a criminal. No apology!!

I've seen parents allow kids to starve and suffer for no sensible reason. If the reason is genuine then I'd understand.

Parents should stop this level of emotional blackmail and punishing their kids unnecessarily. Imagine her telling you she won't forgive you for life for such a little understandable forgivable matter. That easily proves her Christianity is not genuine.

If she doesn't want you to beg others let her provide for you period. Its her responsibility.
At my age I am no longer her responsibility but her reaction was just over the roof. I'm still shocked.

2 Likes

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by thatsleepboy1: 9:31am On Sep 10, 2021
Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by dreamwords: 9:31am On Sep 10, 2021
at 28, you should be thinking like a man, and not a boy because you are no longer a boy,
since you have tendered your sincere apology, if she decide not to take it, so be it , life goes on, time heals most wounds, hustle and make money bro time no dey,
my mummy this, my mummy that will not make you rich bro, don't be a mummy's man,
when you make money , you take care of her

16 Likes

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Kuriosmynd: 9:32am On Sep 10, 2021
Give her orgasm
Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Nobody: 9:32am On Sep 10, 2021
Reading...
Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by Nobody: 9:32am On Sep 10, 2021
There was once my mom warned me not to hang out or have anything to do with my cousin just because she was having issues with my uncle and his wife, I warned her never to involve me and my relationship with my cousins in that rubbish!

Guy you’re 28, if you continue to take your moms advice on some issues of life you’ll definitely regret it oo.

There’s no job for perfect pple or business for “holy” people in Nigeria. You have to dine with witches, devils, wizards to get to wherever you want to go to.

You’ve begged your mom for forgiveness. Good. Don’t beg her again. Let her get used to you making decisions on your own, whether good or bad. It’s her duty to advice not dictate Oga.

Be open to more options. In fact call all your uncles and cousins you can call for help when you need it. No man is an island. “Self made” no exist anywhere oo.

My two cents though.

31 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by emmabest2000(m): 9:32am On Sep 10, 2021
yomi007k:
Fantabulous....


This must be some African magic stuff.


You self no try. If things are hard for you then you should have called your mum.

If she don't want any help from outsiders then I guess it's becos she believes she is capable.

You need to ask her the way forward.

4 Likes

Re: I Hurt My Mom Badly, How Do I Pacify Her? by snowland(m): 9:33am On Sep 10, 2021
Buy her Benz.

But on a serious note, one important question no one is asking you is: Since you didn't tell your mom about the money, how did she find out? Is the said man bragging that he was sending you money?
You need to sit down with her and resolve issues. Good luck!

14 Likes

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