Sharp thinkers will think its my problem but sorry its not. . What will be done to a man that keeps coming home drunk especially occasionally? I know of a woman that suffers beating each time her husband comes home drunk. Packing out is not an option, what then can be done?

1 Pray for him
2 Check those things you enjoy doing that he doesn't like
3 Counsel him @ d dead of d nite xpecially when he is not zonked

For every problem, there is an underlying cause. Find out why the man is drinking without control. The man surely, is having a psychological problem, so treat him psychologically.

The wife should join in the drinking and getting drunk spree . . .

Seriousy,Detach and seperate urself from him with love.No one can stop anyone from getting drunk,esp. an adult but u can detach urself from a drunk. The first step in being able to detach is by realizing that the shenanigans of the alcoholic is not your problem. Don’t fix their messes for them. Not only does this enable them to continue drinking, but also it justifies their drinking. Don’t argue or talk with him when he is drunk . . .Why fuss and fight with someone who has lost the ability to make any sense?

As someone already pointed out,try and find out what lead him to the bottle and take it up from there

Why does she keep unlocking the door when he gets home? Don't they have those burglary proof things you put behind doors anymore? If you want to be nice you can throw a pillow over the fence.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on d floor without holding on.

skydeep:

Sharp thinkers will think its my problem but sorry its not. . What will be done to a man that keeps coming home drunk especially occasionally? I know of a woman that suffers beating each time her husband comes home drunk. Packing out is not an option, what then can be done?

basically from what you said i dont see any problem, unless if want us to speculate

you didnt say he beats you when he comes home drunk, you havent said he waste salary on beer etc

we drink to get drunk

Outstrip:

Why does she keep unlocking the door when he gets home? Don't they have those burglary proof things you put behind doors anymore? If you want to be nice you can throw a pillow over the fence.

Nothing can be done. I'm sure she knew he was a drunkard when she married him. She should just manage herself.

ifyalways:

The wife should join in the drinking and getting drunk spree . . .

I trust you ori eja but drunk phock dey sweet sha

I believe in tracing the ROOT OF ISSUE?

Drinking may not be as bad as drunkenes though, and can be controlled.

Now to the issue,

Didnt the woman notice that before marrying the man?

or did the man turn a drunkard after marriage?

if its the former, then let her enjoy her mistake because her choice was guarded by something then

if its the later, then its either she turned him to one by not having a good grip or the situation of things caused it.

If it was her, good for her, if it was situation, THEN PRAYER AND HOPE WILL DO, ALONGSIDE A GOOD AND PERSISTENT TALK, but mind you, for you husband to hear you and act on your words you shud have earned some level of respect if you had lost them before.

Pray 4 him

take a picture of him when he is drunk and paste it to where he can see it quickly and privately

What the hell is wrong with Nigerians? Pray for him, Pray for him!! whatever happened to "take him him to a professional"? A doctor anyone? Religion will kill you people.

He may never change until the drink finishes him ie, medical complication, getting sent to jail for drink driving/domestic abuse, losing his job for being drunk to work; those are the kind of shocks that may jolt an alcoholic to reality.

@ROMEO,

If you dont believe in prayers, MANY PEOPLE DO BELIEVE IN IT.

Take heart OYINBO

LOL

romeo:

What the hell is wrong with Nigerians? Pray for him, Pray for him!! whatever happened to "take him him to a professional"? A doctor anyone? Religion will kill you people.

@romeo, I wonder o!! The answer to every problem is always to pray. no practical solutions. This thing gets me angry, , one of the many factors that contributes to Nigeria's lack of progress.

Da Doctor:

@ROMEO,

If you dont believe in prayers, MANY PEOPLE DO BELIEVE IN IT.

Take heart OYINBO

LOL

its not about not believing in prayers, in fact it is very important to pray, but to pray alone is not the answer. Even the Bible says something along the lines of 'Faith without action is dead'.

dayokanu:

I trust you ori eja but drunk phock dey sweet sha

Jeez, see Einstein!
If you are both drunk maybe
It's hellish when only 1 party [especially the guy] is drunk.

he needs a professional help (AA Class or something)

romeo:

What the hell is wrong with Nigerians? Pray for him, Pray for him!! whatever happened to "take him him to a professional"? A doctor anyone? Religion will kill you people.

Gbam

If you are a good woman, then he does not deserve you. Whatever drives him into drinking is not good enough reason for his misfortune. A man is a man if he faces situations proactively. I don't subscribe to a man doing despicable things (like getting drunk and womanising) just to forget about problems at home. This is utter unman-like. A good woman should flee from just man if this lifestyle becomes perennial. He is not man enough

@omi, you are right, but in the order, it is pray first if you may ask me, the prayer willl make the work go tru


But it isnt my dimension though. see my post to see what i prescribed.


it wasnt just prayers

Make she go Native Doctor, she didn't know the Husband was drinking before she married her and waiting for change after marriage,

Can I ask exactly why packing out is not an option?  seems some people were born to suffer sha. 
I'm sure Mrs Wigwe once said packing out wasn't an option as well, now she wants the man in jail. What happened to the old adage about a stitch in time saving nine? I tire for my people o. SMH.

She should pray for him first, and ignore him' while still praying for him, no amount of nagging, cursing him out or crying can change him, only if he makes up his mind to stop drinking, that can happen if God touches his heart,
If you keep nagging him, especially when he is drunk, u are looking for trouble, i know it is very difficult to ignore the person you live with, but it is do-able. Give him whatever he wants just to avoid trouble, a 'drunk man,' who is always drunk is almost the same as a 'crazy man'

@doctor, I hear you, and I think you have indeed given decent advice which includes the practical as well as prayer, my comment is really aimed at those whose sole advice is to pray thinking that alone is always enough, and I believe that is what romeo was also alluding to.

da doctor said if he started sringking before the marriage then she deserves it and if it started after the marriage then she drove him to it. Da doctor have you ever heard of taking responsibilty for your actions. Like not blaming the devil or another human being when a grown as, s adult chooses to make foolish choices. You people need to grow up

beat him!

skydeep:

Sharp thinkers will think its my problem but sorry its not. . What will be done to a man that keeps coming home drunk especially occasionally? I know of a woman that suffers beating each time her husband comes home drunk. Packing out is not an option, what then can be done?

If you lock him out, you have given him the mandate to sleep outside with his babe. I don't think he will allow you to join him on a night out because you will spoil his runs. The picture taking technique advised earlier may work, but at the expense of losing a tooth or two.
You can try buying a bottle of vodka and keep in the house. If he has the strength to lift an arm when he returns from one of those drinking sprees, then he is not drunk enough. A stiff round of vodka (one for the bed) is enough to knock him out till morning. If you want him to stop drinking, then encourage him to drink more, most drunks only stop when their liver fails them. Then they come home and stay home.

ronkebp:

She should pray for him first, and ignore him' while still praying for him, no amount of nagging, cursing him out or crying can change him, only if he makes up his mind to stop drinking, that can happen if God touches his heart,
If you keep nagging him, especially when he is drunk, u are looking for trouble, i know it is very difficult to ignore the person you live with, but it is do-able. Give him whatever he wants just to avoid trouble, a 'drunk man,' who is always drunk is almost the same as a 'crazy man'

I reading through the responses and laughing at how little most of you women understand men. Let me just save everybody some time and give you the koko.

It is impossible to change a man's behavior by praying, begging, lecturing, nagging or b.itching. You can try witholding sex only if you want to get divorced quickly.

The only effective way to make a man do what you want is to use positive reinforcement. That means giving rewards for good behavior rather than punishing bad. You act normally when he comes home drunk, but when he comes early and sober, you cook his favourite meal, sit on his lap and rub his belle. You bounce on his kini enthusiastically when he treats you well, maybe even give some oral pleasure. If he misbehaves, you lie there like a log of wood.

Did I mention that you should never, ever withold s.ex? Anyway, positive reinforcement is the secret to a happy marriage. Forget all the nosense others have posted above.

when he his sober, ask him what the problem is.  there maybe something going on she is not aware of.

There is little you can do for him except encourage him to seek professional and spiritual help. Alcoholism is a serious disease - it is especially dangerous because it kills either through the liver or through motor accidents. Treat this illness like you would treat cancer or AIDS. Go to a medical professional and pray hard.

In the meantime, please protect yourself. Talk to him while he is sober so both of you can agree on iron-clad rules you will follow if and when he comes home drunk. It might be a bit dangerous to let him sleep outside the fence but you can allow him to drive into the compound and sleep in his car or you can install an iron door to your bedroom and the kids' room that will keep him out of those rooms if he comes home drunk. Good luck!