I can not believe how callous and undignified women have become, then they scream our men are dogs. This girl needs to tell her boyfriend and its up to him to either carry on with the relationship or break it off, there is no running form the truth and if he decides to give it a go i suggest a trial period to be sure that the girl and her boyfriend can move on then maybe marriage if its meant to be. But it takes a special person to forgive such disloyalty and tell your friend not to expect forgiveness as that take a hell of a long time to get.

Your friend's behaviour is disgraceful its her love for money and high living that got her in the mess and really no man deserves a woman like her and thats coming from a woman. If she chooses the cowards way out by lying and scheming her way through this in the hope he'll never find out, then she should expect a life of unhappiness cause the truth always has a way of coming round to pinch us in the butt when we least expect .

Do i have any sympathy for the guy in question? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Serves the slacker right

but looking at it he might have been shagging plenty of other girls and then thinking he is "saving" his girl and thinking he is smart , he might not be hurt that much. But if the guy had been spending all his cash on her and then spent the majority of his time wanking himself into a deep world of extreme fustration (trust me i have had friends who have had the same mentality and experienced the same things b/4) then if he does not fork the biatch real badly even in twenty years and as a married man, he will be still living with it.

kenniy:

let us divert a little bit, does it mean we shouldnt agree with our babe about making our first love after marriage for any reason?

Feelz me, I feelz you. No long thing, no long story. We will still get tired of forking each sooner or later in marriage anyway so don't give me a crap of waiting 4 a glorious and heavenly day. Thatz some long bullsh!t.

I have guyz who go by the same mentality and the end of the day start to whine about the girl. Thats bullshit too. Like i always tell them, don't come around me whining, i don't need to hear all that.

spent the majority of his time wanking himself into a deep world of extreme fustration

Why does that sound so familiar?

Men, this is bullshit. I wonder why she is now confused and dont know what to do, she should just go on and marry the rich man since the precious thing she was keeping for her guy is gone.
I am sure before the thing happened, if somebody ask her if she would ever do such a thing, she would say capital NO. If i am her guy, sorry, it's OVER.
It is only God that can safe man self.

so its familiar to u Seun. Wanking is a no go area. I have many religious friends caught up in the vicious circle and they can tell you how bad sexual fustration is 4 a man.

what i think she should is beg her bf, thats if he is the forgiving type and tell him that alhaji forced her to sleep with him and make mad love to him right away so everything will be cleared

But the man never forced her, why lying? The truth will prevail one day you know

wat do u mean y lying i bet he did force her cos thats wat u men do nowadays

According to the first poster who posted it, he said he cajoled her, he never said "force". So, ?

come to think of it i know she cajoled but indirecty it could mean forced because how can the gurl stoop herself so low to a man of his age

here we go again, the fact is that some ladies(in Nigeria) don't even want to date guy just a little bit above them coz they believe he will not be as successful as the chiefs.
You must know that for her to get on the man's bed is not a force, besides i don't really believe all those old man can force a young lady, most are done willingly and they usually come out to say they were raped.
To go by the word "cajole" according to my most trusted dictionary it says: Cajole : persuade somebody gently: to persuade somebody to do something by flattery or gentle but persistent argument
Microsoft® Encarta® 2006. © 1993-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
Now, i have read posts on the topic and i got to know nothing coercive happened, it was based on mutual agreement. You ladies will not advice yourselves to be focus individuals rather you will be blaming and criticising

thank u for spending ur unworthy time looking in the dictionary cos i do know the meaning of cajoled am not dumb am majoring in criminal justice for god sake.

did i say you were dumb or dont know the meaning? all i was trying to tell you is that when you see someone who do something wrong, let him/her know it is WRONG. I dont want to respond to your post the way you did, respect is reciprocal.

no problemo it a truce no fighting on the forum can we be friends

My dear nairalanders, everyone seems to miss the point on this one. All that I am reading is about sex and virginity. Where is love?

Here’s the answer. If she is truly sorry and knows that she made a mistake, she should go kneel before her boyfriend and tell him she has something to apologize for. Tell him she got carried away and started another relationship that caused her to lose her virginity. If she is sincere and he loves her, he will forgive her and they will carry on like nothing happened; after all he’s marrying a person not a virginity. Let the truth be told, he is probably not a virgin either. Even if he is, no-one deserves to die for making a mistake. Love is about forgiving the human failings of those that we care for and LOVE. It is better that she made her mistake now, not in the middle of her married life for which even God’s wrath will be visited upon her.

That said, the relationship will be strained for a while, he will be disappointed, that is human too, but two people that LOVE each other can work through the most difficult things together. On the other hand if she has tasted the apple and wants to follow the devil in his sweet delicious chocolate nourishment, nothing good will ever come to her.

That said let me share another story.

A friend of mine fell in love with a girl in secondary school and they dated for over 4 years with the understanding that we will have sex for the first time on the night of our honeymoon. He went onto the University in the US and she went onto OSU. While in the US, he started to her about her adventures, she was now into those boys whose last names ended with “ISM”, first name as Mr. President or another friend who’s medical doctor father makes foam etc. etc. You know the celebrity types. When my friend came back he challenged her about the stories and she denied them. So he insisted that they were going to make love to determine if she was still a virgin. I was in the house at the time because we had discussed out and I heard her scream and moan in pain. Do you know what my friend said to her? Shut the “f#@7k up, if that is how a virgin feels like, I have been missing the point myself all this while

They never got married, not because she was not a virgin but because she refused to own up and wanted to play him till their wedding day. I doubt if she would have been a alive now if she had pulled that trick. She is now married and is a medical doctor. None of the show boys she used to date but she’s ok, and my friend, he went on to marry a nice girl who by the way the issue of virginity never came up…….

Sage, you sound like a woman hurt you real bad,
pips will learn that revenge is not about another person. It hurts the revenger too.
That said, waiting until you are married is an ideal not a bad thing, we seem to have lost all decency in this society. We should learn to appreciate people that still have moral desires, Life is not about sex sex sex, relationships are not about sex sex sex. even the sex, one day you will get sick of it and find the rest of your relationship is empty. I have seen lots of women say I want sex sex sex, I need sex sex sex, then when they get it they either start to run from it, or look for something more fulfilling.

People with empty pantries are also hungry,

so you all suggest it way better for dating people to have sex , ?

Pendelite, nice story here. YOU dont seem to get the story/issue at hand. This wasnt a one off thingy, it went on for 7months! What the hell! She's a mean cheat. So what if the BF isnt a virgin, I dont believe he lied about it. The story doesnt say he has cheated on her since the started dating so i assume he hasnt. What that girl did was wrong and the guy can never truly forgive her cause his ego/manhood has been hurt badly(when he finds out) so the best thing is just to break it off with him.
In the case of your friends which you sited,her BF was far away, in this case theyre in the same town. If she felt like loosing it why didnt she just do it with her boyfriend? The girl has messed up, and if the fiancee was my son, I will disown him if he marries her.

alheri:

Pendelite, nice story here. YOU don't seem to get the story/issue at hand. This wasnt a one off thingy, it went on for 7months! What the hell! She's a mean cheat. So what if the BF isnt a virgin, I don't believe he lied about it. The story doesnt say he has cheated on her since the started dating so i assume he hasnt. What that girl did was wrong and the guy can never truly forgive her cause his ego/manhood has been hurt badly(when he finds out) so the best thing is just to break it off with him.
In the case of your friends which you sited,her BF was far away, in this case theyre in the same town. If she felt like loosing it why didnt she just do it with her boyfriend? The girl has messed up, and if the fiancee was my son, I will disown him if he marries her.

Now, we have someone facing the reality. I don't know why ladies we keep on covering who has already messed up

NOW I GET THE POINT U R RIGHT THE GURL DESERVES TO BE DUMPED BECOS SHE WAS CARRYING AN AFFAIR WITH HER SUGAR DADDY WHEN SHE WAS MEANT BE WITH HER MAN. IF HE EVER FINDS OUT ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOSE

now you got it

No one's arguing about who messed up, the fact is that she felt bad enough about it to seek advice. That it lasted for ten years makes the real difference. The fact is that she started it and stayed in it, then realized that she screwed up, get the pun. So what next, realize her mistake and fix it, or walk around with guilt or maybe even pretend that it did not happen. The choice is hers. If she want to fix what she did, take my advice. If she wants to run from it, that is also an option, if she does not want to learn from it, it is also an option. By the way, the title Aristo, glamorizes, prostitution,

Well let her just own up to the boyfriend, no need to lie, who says the guy has not been "doing" other girls to satisfy his sexual urge and keeping his virgin intact till marriage?

even if that is not the case, if the guy does not want her back doesnt mean he is unforgiving, its just hard to accept ajeku (left over) after so much sacrifice to keep yourself, so that is one star on her blouse and medal round her neck

she'll learn to do whats right when another chance comes along, as for the virginity? its gone for good.

pendelite:

Sage, you sound like a woman hurt you real bad,
pips will learn that revenge is not about another person. It hurts the revenger too.
That said, waiting until you are married is an ideal not a bad thing, we seem to have lost all decency in this society. We should learn to appreciate people that still have moral desires, Life is not about sex sex sex, relationships are not about sex sex sex. even the sex, one day you will get sick of it and find the rest of your relationship is empty. I have seen lots of women say I want sex sex sex, I need sex sex sex, then when they get it they either start to run from it, or look for something more fulfilling.

People with empty pantries are also hungry,

Maybe, u never know. things like that happen ( so should i say   to myslf  ) (not saying it happened to me though )

Yeah we will get tired of the sex one day i agree with you so lets start now, no long story of in 10 yrs time. ( but then only somebody that is sick would want only sex in the name of any form of relationship).


In this case, like in most other cases ul discover that most girls that yarn dust about virgin this and that  and magical wedding nights are primarily gold diggers. They would eat from the guliiable bobo and any aristo and yarn them dust at the end of the day.
 The major diffrence is that while the Guy is a mugu in the name of good boy, the aristo aint no slacker or duller. He will fork the dust yarning biyatch and leave her to give the poor boy who has time 4 such yarns those kind of yarns.

  appologizes 4 any offensive comments. Just cant help hitting the nail on the head at times

Well pendilite, thats your opinion. Whether she feels bad and asked for advise is no issue as far as am concerned. She felt bad, she seeked advise, Has she stopped sleeping with the old timer? Probably Not. So her feeling bad is BS as far as am concerned. She needs to leave her Bf alone cause shes a cheating B**ch!. She doesnt have to tell her Bf she was unfaithful if she doesnt want, but she should scram!

i do agree wit u alheri da gal is a two- timingb**ch

Is there a difference in Nigerian women that use the internet and Nigerian women at large. The responses by the girls so far have been interesting. While the boys are screaming and cursing the women are gently restoring my faith in Nigerian womanfolk. Sorry to say my impression of Nigerian women under the age of 30 are gold digging, opportunists. The word Aristo was created as an excuse to collect from Big Daddy while looking smart. But if the responses to this issue are true (from the heart), girls, you are alright. I now agree, one little stain can spoil white cloth. Keep it up, spread the word not the legs

Is there a difference in Nigerian women that use the internet and Nigerian women at large. The responses by the girls so far have been interesting. While the boys are screaming and cursing the women are gently restoring my faith in Nigerian womanfolk. Sorry to say my impression of Nigerian women under the age of 30 are gold digging, opportunists. The word Aristo was created as an excuse to collect from Big Daddy while looking smart. But if the responses to this issue are true (from the heart), girls, you are alright. I now agree, one little stain can spoil white cloth. Keep it up, spread the word not the legs

I just pray for you for what you said, you are a real lady

big time rubbish.the gal should cover her face in shame and breah the relationship with the poor guy.some of this naija gals lack dignity of persons(no offence intended)

Well Rhino dear, this has nothing absolutely nothing to do with nija gals, its not pecular to nija gals alone. Once a girl is not disciplined, she just isn't, whether white, brown, black, red, green, purple etc. What she did is bad as it is, lying about and trying to be smart about it is something else, another casfile abeg. Even if she opens up and tells her bf what happened, and they still get married, bobs, i doubt if she will really forgive herself because, this guy can't trust her absolutely especially when she is not around him. Abeg dis kin marriage go hard o.Lets not do to others what we won't want others to do to us shekina!