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My mother and her plenty pastors. - Family - Nairaland

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My mother and her plenty pastors. by ahnie(f): 3:47pm On Oct 30, 2021
Mothers are sweet with their little troubles.
My mum is a handful.i think I inherited my drama from her.

Gift her units,she would never use it to call you,but would flash the hell outta of life.she prefer using the units to call her various pastors holding her on a kentro level.

I could recollect vividly during the last holidays when I took my kids to visit her, Immediately she entered inside the house with her hair scattered like someone that narrowly escaped being electrocuted.

The first thing that came out from her mouth was...ehen Ejiro welcome,oya stand up make we go see my new pastor grin.
Imagine someone that just came from a journey.

I told her,I was tired,but the truth was...I wasnt tired,I just detest her dragging me round her ring of pastors.
I found out that,they ve opened account on my mother,from monies to foodstuffs...it's even a miracle she haven't used my lil nephew ogaga as seed offering.

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Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by ahnie(f): 3:56pm On Oct 30, 2021
Before that visitation,I visited last two years when I needed mothers comfort,just little headache,my mother said it was the enemies trying to harm me.

That let's go to church so her pastor could pray for me.i reluctantly followed her to church and due to the pastors flows and yarnings,we spent like 6 hours at that particular church.

In all fairness,the pastor get flows...he ended up dashing me one bottle of holy Communion,but let's not kid ourselves,I know say na zobo he dash me.

Time for praises came,we danced,time for deliverance came,those that were swirling were swirling in the spirit that was controlling them.

Mother just cudnt let me be...instead of her to concentrate on her own deliverance,let me concentrate on mine.

I cud hear my mum breaking inside the circle, whispering in my ear....Ejiro fall nau,you nor wan fall?

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Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by ahnie(f): 4:05pm On Oct 30, 2021
I was wondering wetin concern my mum and me falling on the floor of the church?
We were placed as a group and instructed to form a circle.

Pastor hope started moving from one person to another praying and casting out imaginary demons.

My mom came back again and I cud hear her pleading with the pastor... grin grin grin
The things I don see for my mama hands eeh.

Thank God say,I'm married,if not my mum would have taken me to all the pastors in abraka.

I for be like...haa! aye mi,temi ba mi.

188 Likes 6 Shares

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Karleb(m): 4:13pm On Oct 30, 2021
Ejiro, you sef fall now. grin

227 Likes 7 Shares

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by bukatyne(f): 4:20pm On Oct 30, 2021
Karleb:
Ejiro, you sef fall now. grin

I bow o!

49 Likes 1 Share

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by yuping(m): 4:24pm On Oct 30, 2021
Ordinary falling down you can't how will demon run away from your body grin grin grin
Practice speaking in tongue ooo.

17 Likes

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Righteousness2(m): 4:27pm On Oct 30, 2021
grin

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by mariahAngel(f): 4:28pm On Oct 30, 2021
Madam Ahnie and her fun stories. cheesy

12 Likes

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by descarado: 4:28pm On Oct 30, 2021
cheesy cheesy cheesy
It's women that empower these people. Look very well at a man who is serious over church. His eye dey near the tithe and offering boxes cheesy.
A young girl will start taking prayer and church serious while in higher institution or after college.
1. Pray to get good posting, find husband, born sharp sharp, born boy for those that have problem with it, that no jezebel will see her husband, that no village people will see her family, that her husband continues to prosper irrespective of what he does for a living, that her children grow well, girls will marry good husbands, born and doing well. money for school, most importantly, that her son is a man( you know what I mean). The list is endless. They will continue till grandchildren or great grand. They no dey tire cheesy

But I noticed that at a certain time, the prayer points will shift from the husband entirely.


Shout out to all our mums. They are the real slayers and legends.

Ahnie, you got to embrace it, no running away from it cheesy cheesy

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Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by ahnie(f): 4:31pm On Oct 30, 2021
Pastor this na my daughter wey I tell you about,my first daughter she dey stay for ASABA with her husband.

Pastor enemies wan kill my pikin for me, pastor Dem wan killam, pastor abeg pray for her.

I let out a chuckle coz it was kinda funny how enemies want take kill me grin grin.
I started laughing.....for my mama mind....I'm possessed by laughing out loud....the kind eyes she gave me eeh,I comported my self.

The pastor laid his hands on me,prayed and prophesied,after the prophecy,I turned to go away,my mum pushed me....oya go meetam make he pray for you so when una dey go back ASABA,make nothing do una for road.


Who am I to say no?I went back again to the pastor, obviously he was shocked seeing me appearing before him again.i relayed my mum's instructions to him.

Pastor hope,had to call my mum....mama leavam I don pray for ram(her)
Pastor instructed me to get empty can of 75cl of ragolis can and fill it to the brim with his church sand.

Oshey,I did as instructed,we exchanged numbers and my mum,my nephew and my kids we all headed home.

When I got to ASABA,I kept in touch with the pastor and after sometime I got bored and stopped calling the pastor.

Of a truth....I don't seat in a church more than 1hr no matter what as I easily lost interest in things.but I stayed long in pastor Hope's church because not only were his preaching funny,he was also an interesting person.
To me I wasn't really inside a church,I was in a comedy gig Cox the pastor was a funny entity.

I fell ill some weeks ago that I ended up bn admitted.i deliberately refused informing my mum because if I had earlier informed her,she would have asked me to come to her house,so that she can take me to her NEW PASTOR.

NOTE THE WORD NEW....she has changed or should I say she has ran away again from pastor Hope's church,she's now attending pastor marvellous church.


Pastor marvellous is a very young pastor with swaggs and pink lips,a student of Delta State University whose swaggs is tighter than buhari's loins.

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Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by dawnomike(m): 4:38pm On Oct 30, 2021
your narration is always hilarious...

23 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by ahnie(f): 4:40pm On Oct 30, 2021
My mum cannot just let pastors rest...her house is filled with posters of pastor Chris okafor,Papa tb joshau of blessed memory,pastor hope,and the latest pastor marvellous plus other power charging pastors she has told me of on the phone.

Interestingly enough,whilst she was vibrant she no do all this pastor thangs o,but now in her early 50's why the rush,why the jwee?

Anyways whilst on admission she was calling my lines and I refused picking her calls countless times.
I rather receive my drips at the hospital than to be taken to see a pink lips pastor.

She became worried and rang my husband who told her that I was at the hospital.
According to my husband,he said my mum was shouting...kweke!!ogheneme my enemies again.

124 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by ahnie(f): 4:43pm On Oct 30, 2021
To be continued





Mah rest,I have not fully recovered tho,still on the process.

15 Likes

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Misrighteousnes: 4:51pm On Oct 30, 2021
Mother kind of love..same way Jesus Christ died for us, what manner of love will a spirit have to die for mankind..oh thank you almighty father..may we all never miss that glorious home

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Candidlady(f): 4:53pm On Oct 30, 2021
I envy you!

wishing i had a mother who spoils me with things of god than just money/properties/fashion/parties that i wont take anywhere!

kudos to her(your mum)!! And trust me all her prayerz/intercesionz concerning your family wont be a waste *amen*

this life truly no balance

i can sell my dad to buy your mum! E beta i get 2mama than papa and mama

29 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by vastolord4(m): 5:03pm On Oct 30, 2021
That was how one pastor would text my wife and other congregation (confirmed) about church activities. That was how I scolded my wife about such cos as per guy we I be, I know wetin that pastor fit do... my wife told him what I told her and ever since then, once he sees me, he would feel like melting.. which show's that he had a bad motive

89 Likes 7 Shares

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Nobody: 5:07pm On Oct 30, 2021
Nice stories

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Sonnobax15(m): 5:10pm On Oct 30, 2021
cheesy
Eyahhhhh,this my isoko sister, you've got a very lovely and lively mum cheesy. Funny gists indeed grin

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Kobojunkie: 5:11pm On Oct 30, 2021
Those you call pastors are instead glorified babalawos and your mum, well, like so many out there, is addicted to them. You try to cut her off that addiction and you will maybe realize how real the situation is.undecided

37 Likes 1 Share

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by ahnie(f): 5:18pm On Oct 30, 2021
I was at home fully recuperating when my phones starting ringing again,I checked it was my mum.
In my faint voice I said hello!
Then,she dropped the bomb that prompted me to finally tell her to stop involving her pastors in my life.

Mum....Enh Ejiro,pastor marvellous sai na person dey do you wey dey make you dey sick.

Me...Mama I no understand wetin you dey try yarn me?

Mum.... pastor marvellous say person,one woman dash you pants wey she don wear finish,you come collect ham wear,and na person wey you know well well.....thinkam oh,Branch I say make you reason the matter well o.


Father God,I had to tell her that I would call her back,then dropped the call.


Father God,how would someone dashed me a used pant,pants that she has wore at my age?
And I would stupidity collect it?
grin grin.

I don't know if you are getting the prophecy ABI na suruphecy?
Me...someone dashed me a used patari?
How desperate can pastor marvellous go??

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Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Abilistic(m): 5:23pm On Oct 30, 2021
Ejiro!

Ordinary fall you can’t fall

38 Likes

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by ahnie(f): 5:28pm On Oct 30, 2021
Saying I was flabbergasted was an understatement....Cox I find the prophecy pretty awkward and silly.

I figured my mum must have promised pastor marvellous a bountiful seed.

I had to vibes with my demons to stay calmed
Because I cannot parayarn where my mum is....I rang her back and calmly told her to go back to pastor marvellous and tell him to check his vision very well, because his vision is not visioning with my vision.


Since then,I ve had my peace like a river,the latest now whenever she calls thus.

Mum.....Ejiro,how's your body?
Me...maa'le I dey fyne,I don dey well small small Sha.
Mum....oya go front of your compound go pluck moringa leaf boil ham drink,edey work well well.
Me....okay maa'le

I'm still on the road towards recovery,but I'm glad that,I have successfully put an end to my mum's invasion of her pastors in my life for the time being.



Cc : Lalasticlala.

64 Likes 1 Share

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Perfectdanny(m): 5:33pm On Oct 30, 2021
This thread is funny

15 Likes

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Tallesty1(m): 5:53pm On Oct 30, 2021
ahnie:

I cud hear my mum breaking inside the circle, whispering in my ear....Ejiro fall nau,you nor wan fall?
Sturbon shild, what's ordinary fall that you cannot fall for your mom?

18 Likes

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by ahnie(f): 5:58pm On Oct 30, 2021
Tallesty1:
Sturbon shild, what's ordinary fall that you cannot fall for your mom?
Fall wetin....what if I faked the falling and I ended up breaking an equipment in the church or broke my neck.
grin grin

48 Likes

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Truvelisback(m): 6:44pm On Oct 30, 2021
Plantain dey spoil, dem say e dey ripe.

26 Likes 1 Share

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Gadafii: 6:59pm On Oct 30, 2021
Me I am much more interested in Ogaga, real waffi clowngrin cool

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Lordbinsmar: 10:19pm On Oct 30, 2021
grin
Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Janosky: 10:38pm On Oct 30, 2021
ahnie:
Before that visitation,I visited last two years when I needed mothers comfort,just little headache,my mother said it was the enemies trying to harm me.

That let's go to church so her pastor could pray for me.i reluctantly followed her to church and due to the pastors flows and yarnings,we spent like 6 hours at that particular church.

In all fairness,the pastor get flows...he ended up dashing me one bottle of holy Communion,but let's not kid ourselves,I know say na zobo he dash me.

Time for praises came,we danced,time for deliverance came,those that were swirling were swirling in the spirit that was controlling them.

Mother just cudnt let me be...instead of her to concentrate on her own deliverance,let me concentrate on mine.

I cud hear my mum breaking inside the circle, whispering in my ear....Ejiro fall nau,you nor wan fall?

Oniovo, you really Sabi high quality drama no be small

Bad shild !!! grin grin cheesy grin

7 Likes

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by JeffreyJunior: 10:38pm On Oct 30, 2021
She really asked you to fall under the anointing? This is hilarious. cheesy cheesy

Chai they have opened office on her head.

My advice is don't try to fight her over this because she will start seeing you as an evil spirit fighting her from entering heaven.

Just try to tighten her source of income and you will see those pastors flee from her. If she currently depends on you, better as it will be easy to control her access to money and tithing.

This is the part I thank God for my mum. That one dey go church late on Sundays sef let alone mingling with priests so she has no moral ground to talk to me about church matter. She is a lady in the church but her parish priest had long given up on her. grin

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by Horlubunmmy: 10:39pm On Oct 30, 2021
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin ;
Chai my belle ooo,Biko no kill me with laugh.

Anyway I always enjoy all your stories.

1 Like

Re: My mother and her plenty pastors. by BigDawsNet: 6:53am On Oct 31, 2021
Ejiro
Ogaga

Wher are you from exactly
Pretty funny names grin

7 Likes 2 Shares

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