ISelectMySins:


You have the best and most sufficient reason why mothers should love their kids over their husbands. Doff my hat, ma.

Awww thank you. When I saw the mention I was expecting some bashing ...lol

Mofun:


So, how about the bond between husband and wife? What's it classified as?

That one na Top Bond

Pregift:
This case is a natural phenomenon. I love and care for my kids more than my husband. Initially I thought it was bcs they were babies but now they are teenagers. Its still the same. I love my husband but I love my children more bcs, to me personally. The love a woman has for her kids are unconditionally natural. But the love she has for her husband, has a reason at first before she accepted to marry him it's neither bcs of his wealth, intelligence, physical structure etc. But the love for the kids has no reason she loves them naturally. This is my case.

In addition to what you said, even men love their offspring more than many women they marry. There are people like us that appreciate some small details in the life of children that cannot be found in adults. The way they behave, how they talk, their demeanour and more. To be honest, there's no woman that would get half as much love as my child but maybe it's because I don't really like women. I remember when I was fixated on one goat like that. Like for more than 10 minutes I was just looking and looking and looking. Hmm.

ISelectMySins:
Oga, you cannot make any meaningful distinction between a woman and her biological roles. That's like saying with proper education people would not be having sex. Sure, education may prevent indiscriminate sexual relations but you cannot separate a man from his humanity. It will never work.

A woman's love for her offspring is unlike and not even remotely close to her husband. It is just so unique and different and there's nothing you or I can do about it unless you just want to argue.

So what happens in the case of women, and men, abandoning those same children? Do you say nature got it wrong in those cases?
There are currently over 10 million abandoned children walking the streets of Nigeria, and many of them not orphans. So where is nature in that situation?

It's a natural thing for mothers to love their kids more, even animals too care for their young ones more than themselves. So it's natural, once a woman gives birth her affection shifts more to her kids than the hubby. Men there is nothing you can do about that, just live with that, a man with no child chic na him dey worry.

Broveens42:
But why is it that a lady almost cries out her eye balls when her husband dies than when her child dies

Why won't she cry when the person footing her bills don die. Free house,free food,free almost everything

Her money is for her while my money is for the family and even her extended family

Children are the main-chick. Nine months journey is not s joke. Children makes women complete, it gives women the strength to stand with two legs in marriage...

Kobojunkie:
But earlier you called it unconditional love on the part of the woman towards her child.

Who? When? How?

Truvelisback:
Who? When? How?

My bad! I quoted the wrong person there.

Peace2love:
Children are the main-chick. Nine months journey is not s joke. Children makes women complete, it gives women the strength to stand with two legs in marriage...

So women who don't have children are incomplete?

Women out there who stand with their two legs in marriage, this without children, are what? Chickens?

Abeg make we dey softly softly tell all these lies... na we sef dem dey hurt.

Because the man can also choose to prefer his children to the wife, if he wishes of course!

NEXT

ahnie:

Unfortunately I don't go-to church

kai from yor hand writing i no u gots yansh.please describes yor sef please. I juss wanto no u sir

Naija.... the word prefer only comes because..

Nigerian husbands have issues... some days ago it was talked about how Nigerian men treat women in Nigeria.. only when they get abroad d Wives...... the ladies show them serious pepper.

With all this... its makes mothers to give their unconditional love ONLY to their kids!!

Any man or woman who loves the kids more means something is wrong in their marriage and they don't want to admit it.
The love you have for your spouse is totally diff from what you have for your kids or yourself.

Men be doing though love and miss out the bonding time with their kids or belonged to the camp of taking care of kids is strictly for women.


Thankfully some men have changed the narratives these days. It will get better. All societies experienced this. We came late but we will get there.

cococandy:
It’s what happens when the man doesn’t view himself as a co-parent. Rather he adopts the position of a dependent who has also has to be cared for by the wife and then feel ignored because the wife is caring for toddlers and infants more.
If he contributes equally to parenting the children, the wife won’t have to do everything herself and consequently will have time to tend to his needs as well. That way they can care for each other and their kids.
Wives aren’t meant to be pseudo moms for grown men. That’s the fastest way to kill romantic feelings between the couple

Sometimes I blame our men but most times I don't cos they don't know better. It was what was handed over to them generational. Foreign religion celebrates it, they here this everyday. For example you see a man brought up with such mentality but did 360 cos he saw the way it affected him and his siblings. The same sibling might continue like their dad.
Also our ladies are speaking up too. They make their husbands contribute in childcare. Economy and useless Nigerian system makes families have househelps. If things are good, nobody will come to live with you as maid, you and your hubby have to take care of your family. No choice for the man at all.
It well.

Asadujames202:



Fact is that, 99% of naija gals are useless

mmm okay

descarado:


Sometimes I blame our men but most times I don't cos they don't know better. It was what was handed over to them generational. Foreign religion celebrates it, they here this everyday. For example you see a man brought up with such mentality but did 360 cos he saw the way it affected him and his siblings. The same sibling might continue like their dad.
Also our ladies are speaking up too. They make their husbands contribute in childcare. Economy and useless Nigerian system makes families have househelps. If things are good, nobody will come to live with you as maid, you and your hubby have to take care of your family. No choice for the man at all.
It well.

Yes unlearning is key

cococandy:
Yes unlearning is key

Coco you never sleep?...
Abi mosquito drive you commot house

Nnemuka:
Why do men prefer their mums over their wives?
If you can answer the above then we can answer your question.

Because you’re actually related to your children by blood. Blood is thicker than most things.

Mofun:
Hello fellow-Nairalanders!
Please is it correct to conclude that most women tend to value their children more than their own husbands (I don't mean 'baby daddies')?
If it's correct then what could be responsible?

Same way we value our kids more than our wives.

Funflipper:
Same way we value our kids more than our wives.

You who? In Nigeria alone, there are over 10,000,000 abandoned kids on the streets each day. How valuable did you say our kids are again?

Kobojunkie:
You who? In Nigeria alone, there are over 10,000,000 abandoned kids on the streets each day. How valuable did you say our kids are again?

Well maybe not others but my kids come first in basically everything.

Acidosis:


Your children may grow to see you as a responsible mother but nothing you buy for them can make them see you as a responsible wife, if you spend your time maltreating or relegating the position or needs of their father. You can tour the world all you want, but as soon as those kids (especially the male among them) begin to get married, you're finished.

I never mention me relegating the position of their father, did I?
All I'm saying is, in today's world where all men love has been fake n unreal, isn't it better to chanel the love yo your kids who will love u truly?
I will train them to respect their father and to love him as well. Not to relegate or disrespect him.

Funflipper:
Well maybe not others but my kids come first in basically everything.

It is time we start being more honest about these things so that the truth can come to light.

Because they share DNA with their children but not with husband. Blood is thicker than water.
Most husband loves their younger ones because of the blood sharing (DNA).

Husband also share the same DNA with their children that is why during conflict, most men will insist that their children can not pack out with wife

Stargurl20:

I never mention me relegating the position of their father, did I?
All I'm saying is, in today's world where all men love has been fake n unreal, isn't it better to chanel the love yo your kids who will love u truly?
I will train them to respect their father and to love him as well. Not to relegate or disrespect him.

Would that be the same "fake" love you were referring to earlier?

If you have to train the kids to respect their father without him actually doing his part to earn that respect from them, doesn’t that amount to fake love for their father, yet another psychological mine for the kids to tangle with probably for the whole of their life if care is not taken?

Kobojunkie:
First of, having a wife with this mindset is indicator that the marriage is in a bad state. How does marrying other wives help make this better if they all end up the same way?

Humans become self aware when their is competition, it helps check lose guarding...

Munzy14:

Humans become self aware when their is competition, it helps check lose guarding...

Or they pull away in an attempt to protect themselves from further harm from the one who willfully chose to introduce additional stressors into their lives - a scenario more likely to play out in this case.

Forget the fantastical stories told you by men of how polygamy breeds healthy competitions... it rarely goes and ends well for all those involved.

Stargurl20:

I never mention me relegating the position of their father, did I?
All I'm saying is, in today's world where all men love has been fake n unreal, isn't it better to chanel the love yo your kids who will love u truly?
I will train them to respect their father and to love him as well. Not to relegate or disrespect him.

Mba...You don't train them to...Rather they will observe how you treat their father, that will be how they will follow you to treat him..

If you relegate him, Sorry for you if they grow to analyse those things...If you make him the true man of his house, You are in for a lifetime enjoyment...Both from the man and the children..

It is as simple as that.

Kobojunkie:
Or they pull away in an attempt to protect themselves from further harm from the one who willfully chose to introduce additional stressors into their lives - a scenario more likely to play out in this case.

Forget the fantastical stories told you by men of how polygamy breeds healthy competitions... it rarely goes and ends well for all those involved.

Man wasn't created to be alone..That companion stuff, nature must fill the vacuum..

If he can't get from his wife, someone else will and is very ready to explore with him..


And ones he is getting a maximum, he doesn't care about the one who relegated him....This things work naturally....and very common with the most calm and extra loving husbands.

Mariangeles:


Munz.y14, I guru edemede a?
A case study of ihe anyi n'ekwu okwu ya.

Yes...I smiled at his submission.

Nwunye ya mere understand the assignment of being a wife first, and a mother..

Agwa nwaanyi kpasoro di ya, ga eme nwoke noro na oru, ya na eche mgbe 4pm kuru, ka ya gbara lawa n'ulo ga noro with family..Nwaanyi wuru oku in excess, nwoke gbasa oru by 4pm, ya lota by 7pm.. .

Women should know they were created specially as a natural binder for the home..It is not easy, but worth it with dedication to it.

Men will always be boys ones in a while...But at very little age, a woman is already acting like a mother as they are naturally care givers.

A woman must strike a balance for a time with hubby and kids as well..

Men should also involve in parenting as well to reduce burden and make it easier...For enough time....My Dad participated fully when we weree growing up..Will I even forget he was our first teacher for ABCD, 123, words identification and alot...

My mom, was buying us those short novels to keep us busy during long vacation..

Oooh those days were fun...Talk about when it is time for flogging, okwa mpa m buru utali, mma m e buru ke ya...Onye pia, onye a pia..You won't even know where to run to when husband and wife team up dey discipline us..


Children learn fast at that tender age...They girls will learn how their mom treat their Dad, the sons learn how their Dad treats his wife....It is as simple as that.

Sometimes, when i see or read domestic violence, it is so alien to me...Because I never witnessed such growing up...I find it awkward to believe a man will be beating his wife...smh..

Couples must put themselves first...The statement someone made, she doesn't know if she has a husband is strange..

Na dem go make extremely entitled MIL...

To them, hubby is like one chair in the house..Who is a husband only when it comes to financial expenses or copulation just for child bearing....